The Banjo/Falcon Alteration

Rocking back and forth on his favorite chair, Banjo strummed on his banjo woefully, the sad tunes reflecting his mood. It had been six months since he and Kazooie had last foiled Gruntilda. The duo were initially happy as they saw the witch become embedded in a tomb of rocks, but neither had thought about what would happen after. With Grunty finally dead forever, both bird and bear were jobless, which led to their falling out. They hadn't spoken many weeks. This almost suited Banjo. He didn't want to explain to his former best friend that he currently got by selling cocaine to high-profile members of the community.

From his seat on the deck, he just played into the night, the plucking slowly putting him to sleep.

A loud, sneering voice interrupted the music. "Nice song. It's time for my solo."

Banjo opened his eyes in time to see his banjo explode into millions of tiny wooden fragmentations. Not 10 meters away from him stood the tall, muscular figure of Captain Falcon, holding a smoking pistol. He sneered as he walked closer.

"F-Falcon!" stammered Banjo. "What do you want?"

The Captain's eyes gleamed behind the dark sun glasses. "Cocaine." He replied simply. "Captain Falcon loves his cocaine." He leaned forward so that he face was inches from Banjo's. "And you know something else? He loves it even more when it's free of charge..."

"No." Banjo shook his head defiantly. "You...you have to pay, like everyone else. I won't give it to you."

He laughed. "Oh yes you will." Without another word, he picked the bear up as if he weighed nothing and tossed him through his own window with the lightest of ease. Banjo struggled to raise himself up from the surrounding pile of broken glass to see the Falcon following him in. "Can I have my crack now? Or does your whole house get to be...Falconised?"

"Do your worst, Falcon." Banjo spat. "I've got nothing to live for now anyway. You're time would be better spent at the red-light district we all know you love so much..."

His eyes gleamed again. "Captain Falcon loves his hookers..." he admitted. "Very well, Banjo. I'll leave you alone. But I'll be back. In the mean time I think I'll pay a little visit to your bird friend."

Kazzoie? Banjo ran after him. "Don't you dare hurt her, you sick bastard!"

"That all depends on how cooperative you are. Captain Falcon loves cooperation." He sneered once more before jumping into his car and speeding away into the mountains.

Banjo knew he really was in trouble now.