Disclaimer: I don't OWN.

A/N: Those of you who know me know that this is totally NOT my usual thing. It was the result of a conversation with a friend about baby!fics, and the need to fill a slot on a bingo card. So please don't hate me!

Also, any opinions expressed in this regarding abortion are what I thought would be appropriate for the characters. They are not to imply a pro or choice position in either way on my part.

There were some things Mayuri Kurotsuchi should never be permitted around. This includes, but is not limited to, explosive devices, probability charts, stray cats, paperclips, rice paper, or any resident of the soul society. Or living society for that matter. The results of his malicious infatuation and his easily obtained irritation were exactly what had caused this very moment.

This moment being a sixth division lieutenant gawking lifelessly at the captain of the fourth division who kept nervously flipping through his charts as if there were a hidden joke placed in them somewhere. "I'm afraid there is no mistake." She offered apologetically. "In fact, this is the third case since Tuesday…I dare say the inquisition department is obtaining some interesting…reports… from Kurotsuchi-taicho." She lamented.

"So…how do we fix this?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"Fix?" She looked baffled for moment before a bulb of enlightenment switched on in her head. "Well there are some options but I caution you to consider them before you make a decision."

The lieutenant's head already pounded.

He really shouldn't have interrupted the scientist's reading.

oOoOoOoOo

"So then I said to her—" Iba's drunken slur was halted instantly as an angered roar filled the group's ears. In a split second his two drinking buddies had their swords out. Kazeshini barely blocked the force of a raging baboon-snake combination.

The zanpakuto withdrawn, he found the blade being replaced with a very angry redhead who had him gripped by his collar. Fury filled his eyes. Shuuhei could hear Kira trying to talk Renji down from the assaulted, but the lieutenant seemed set on his murderous intent.

"BASTARD!" He yelled. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IDIOT!" Shuuhei's face drew an entire blank, a sweat drop falling down his forehead. His fear, primarily, was that he had no clue as to what his error was.

"Wh—What is?" He choked out. But as the words left him, Renji released his grip and backed away a few feet blushing only a few shades tamer then his head before collapsing on his rear and paling considerably.

"Renji!' Their blonde friend dashed to his side, offering to call a member of the fourth division until the redhead informed him he had just come from there. Worry set in.

"I'm going to kill that sick bastard of a scientist. What right does he think he has to…to…to do THAT to me!" Renji grumbled leaving the others confused. Wasn't it Shuuhei who was on the receiving end of his anger?

Wait, wasn't Kurotsuchi currently being investigated for misuse of division resources and unethical conduct? What was it for again?

…

"Oh fuck." Shuuhei squeaked before blacking out – not fainting, he would later insist.

oOoOoOoOo

The four cases had turned into eight. As the rumors spread and the fourth division cautioned anyone with probable cause to possibly be affected by the recent experiment to come in for examination. Needless to say, more discoveries were anticipated. Of those eight, five victims of the scientist's had terminated the results.

Renji sat in the grass of the upper district park staring as people came to bring their children to play at the end of the day. Unohana had been right. He had options; he just wasn't sure which one was best for him. According to her, since the process was going to be shorter for him then a woman due to modifications made by the scientist, the time he had to choose was limited.

"Yo." He heard a voice speak before a figure sat down beside him. He didn't blink. He had felt him coming.

Neither spoke for a moment. Renji sighed, leaning back to look at the sky. He sensed the other man's eyes on him. They hadn't spoke since Shuuhei had fa—blacked out, at Renji's rather abrupt not-quite announcement.

"I'm sorry." He started, diverting his gaze. Renji snorted.

"Not like you knew what he'd done to me any more then I did." He settled. He was finished with placing the blame.

"I wouldn't have—"

" I know."

This was one of the reasons he and the other man had hooked up in the first place. They didn't need to speak. Sure they didn't know all about one another. They weren't a couple. But they could read each other damn well. They both assumed it was due to similar childhoods and ambition. And they were independent – each didn't require something from the other. And that was a rarity of those in their lives. So every now and again they found each other for a guilt-free time.

"You…don't have to go through with this." Shuuhei choked out, though Renji could tell they were hard words.

"I…I don't want to." Renji whispered as if he were betraying something. He looked over at Shuuhei, terrified. "I don't want to be responsible for someone. Fuck, Shuu… I can barely take care of MYSELF." He saw that the words stung but there was no sense in hiding the truth. "And you can't tell me your life is all that better. You're practically running a fucking division by yourself, you barely have time to sleep let alone take care of a kid."

"What he did… it's not natural. I mean, this shouldn't be happening. Ever. Period." He could barely look in a mirror these days. He felt digusted, violated in a way he never imagined.

"I can't do this. Fuck, Shuu." He felt tears blistering his eyes regardless of his masculine disciplines. "But I can't…just… kill it. But I won't fucking abandon it, either." He had been an orphan. It was not all grins and happy endings. Renji threw his arm over his face. This was too embarrassing.

He felt a steady hand over his own. Fingers worked their way into his, lifting the limp away. Shuuhei hovered over him, leaning down to kiss away the salty trails that secretly spilled down over rosy cheeks. He found himself with a human blanket as the other covered him to hide his haggard breath and tears from the rest of the world. He feared humiliation over all.

"Do what is best for YOU." He offered, his voice low and even. "Renji, this is your life and your body. What happened...wasn't right. If you want to make this all go away… do it. No one would think less of you— I wouldn't, and you shouldn't of yourself. It's just an it." Renji's sobs settled. "Don't let him have the satisfaction of breaking you. You're so much stronger then that. You know it."

"But if you do this… We'll find a way to make it work." He promised, sitting up and pulling the other shinigami with him. He steadied the other man's face to command his gaze. "You're right. Our lives aren't perfect. We're both pretty messed up. But if we can bring ourselves up, we can help someone else through life. And if that's just not an option, it's a lot easier to find homes for babies then it is brats like us who just showed up here."

"Our…" Renji muttered.

"Yea, our." Shuuhei confirmed. "I'm not backing away from this, Renji. Not unless you want me to."

"I don't know where this leaves…us…" Shuuhei admitted. "But I'm here. If you need, or want me to be, I'm here."

"Stay." Renji commanded him, burying himself into the other man. At that moment in time he could have cared less about how it looked to the world. Shuuhei had told him to do what he needed to. This was what he needed. He'd focus on his plan to kill Mayuri later.

oOoOoOoOo

A flutter of squeals filled his ears before he found a pair of arms around him. Renji blinked rapidly releasing a sound of surprise before the girl let him go and started apologizing profusely. Orihime, it appeared, had little control over some reactions. It was Tatsuki and Ishida who detached her and shushed her ramblings.

Renji wanted to hide away. But he had been under orders to alert Ichigo of the situation at hand as he was being asked to withdraw from duty on Earth soon if he refused to adopt a female gigai. Unfortunately, he had company. His only blessing was that they weren't near the shoten owner.

"As strange as this occasion may be," Ishida gently offered as he pawned Orihime off on her best friend. " Congratulations all the same. I would be more then happy to create any attire or accessories as a gift."

Ichigo was still staring at him in disbelief. "So… you're telling me…" Damn that boy could be numb. "…You let another guy top you? Dude...that's just..."

"…That's what you think is odd here?" Ishida looked at the substitute exasperatedly.

oOoOoOoOo

It seemed someone had a mouth. By the time he had returned back to the soul society, his captain cornered him. This was entirely not Renji's day. However, instead of being scolded for shaming the division, Kuchiki-taicho was livid for another reason. He reminded Renji that personal health conditions that could impair one's activity were supposed to be immediately reported to one's captain personally and not told through the drunken squeals of one Matsumoto Rangiku as she ran by to congratulate him. He also insisted that he would soon be removed form active patrol duty, and he would have to grin and bear the desk job as he would hear no complaining.

He then handed his lieutenant a paper waving the child of any academy fees courteousy of the Kuchiki clan on the merit of service provided by the child's parents. The captain promptly returned to his own paperwork leaving the red head stunned.

oOoOoOoOo

Exhausted from the day, the only thing Renji wanted to do was go home and sleep for about five days. Or, at least two hours. This was destined to fail. On his way through the market to pick up a quick dinner he ran into Yumichika and Ikkaku- literally. His old division buddies turned to face him.

"And why EXACTLY didn't you tell US? HMMM?" Yumichika insisted as he started chewing Renji a new hole. Ikkaku shot him a sympathetic look.

"It's..It's…" Renji was startled by a sound that almost seemed like a hiccupped sob escape the self-professed beauty. "It's simply not fair!" He huffed and turned on heel towards a selection of melons. Ikkaku made a hasty apology and trailed after the other man leaving Renji in his spot.

He left without grabbing dinner.

Arriving home he stopped as he saw a shape near his doorway. He groaned. He simply couldn't take any more. As he came closer his expression dissolved into a tired smile. Unthinking he all but flung himself at the man in the doorway.

"Come on, Ren." The man whispered into his ear. "Heard you had a long day. Brought dinner, figured you'd skip it if I didn't."

"You're a fucking saint." Renji sighed in relief as his stomach gave a loud growl.

"Just remind yourself of that when the kid's on its way." Renji promptly smacked him across the head except at the same moment he realized that it was the first time anyone had referred to 'it' as a kid. He ignored the voice that could have been his zanpakuto groaning over the feminine pause. But considering what was going on with him, he thought he was entitled to a few schmoop moments.

oOoOoOoOo

Despite Rangiku's and Rukia's giddy excitement, Renji certainly wasn't amused. He had, in fact, left early. Shuuhei, as seemed to be natural these days, followed him back home. He let the other man close the door so that he didn't slam it.

"…She didn't mean it that way, Renji." He sighed.

"I thought women hated it when people called them fat! I mean, does she think men are stone to that?" He grumbled. He knew it was a ridiculous thing to be upset by. But he worked hard to keep in the best shape – it was a necessity to a fighter. One of his first questions to Unohana was how to remain as fit as possible during this…experience.

"She said you were beginning to show." Shuuhei sighed.

"Yea. I'm getting fat. I'm not lazy!" He snapped.

"No, you're growing a mini-person in you." Shuuhei agreed. He flinched at the glared response.

"Renji…" he sighed moving to wrap his arms around the man that had turned his back to him. He certainly had gotten bigger, something he knew the redhead had tried to conceal. "This isn't lazy. This isn't ugly."

He heard a rough sound come from Renji's throat. Sighing again he untied the front of the lieutenant's uniform to expose the flesh beneath. Once toned abs had flattened out and had begun to stretch forward. He felt his lover flinch slightly. He had to wonder how tender he was. The fourth captain had explained that he'd experience more discomfort then woman, as the process was not a natural one for him. He knew how stiff he had been in the mornings as his body literally shifted on him in his sleep, and how sensitive certain places had become.

Gingerly he traced a finger over the curve. Circling he kneeled slowly, kissing his way down the red head's chest, tracing the black marks. He stopped to place a kiss at the peak of the curve. "This is beautiful." He held his lover's hips as he looked up at him. Renji seemed fascinated.

"Really?"

"Really."

oOoOoOoOo

"MMmmmff…Shuu." Renji gasped as the dark haired shinigami released his lips from captivity and a curious hand explored more adventurous spaces. "Not here… Kuchiki will kill me if he found us…Dammit, why do you make me feel like a frickin' teenager."

"Think that's the hormones."

"Nngh. Still not fair you—ah…"

"…And you're complaining why?" was mumbled against his skin.

Renji wasn't sure, actually.

oOoOoOoOo

By the time Renji was rounding onto his last lap almost all of their friends had come over to the support side. Even Yumichika had gotten over his pouting during a scouting session that turned into a mission to decorate the non-existent nursery when he and Ikkaku had paid Ichigo and co a visit.

Other members of the shinigami association were not as…enthusiastic about the situation. Renji wasn't an idiot. Shuuhei and him had been cautious. They didn't keep the child's parentage a secret, but they didn't flaunt this non-relationship thing they had. That didn't keep mouths from flapping. He tried to ignore them.

Which is why when he and Byakuya on patrol had heard a ruckus in the training grounds they were shocked to see a duel having turned into an all out fistfight. Byakuya rushed to pull the one of advantage off the other; Renji was shocked to see Shuuhei having been at the top of the scuffle.

"What the hell?" He cursed. Shuuhei wasn't a fighter; at least, not for simply the sake of fighting. Despite how things turned out with the former captain, he still believed in peace. He had always been the one in control.

"If you EVER try that again, I swear I will rip you apart. Job be damned!" Hisagi growled, struggling against the captain.

"Lieutenant." Byakuya's one word was a demand. "Can you explain why you were… expressing aggression against MY seventh seat?"

"Sir, report me if you want…but if I'm going to be fired, let me finish the job. " The rietsu pulsing off of the lieutenant was nearly deadly itself.

"Shuuhei." Renji said firmly, commanding his attention. "What the hell has gotten into you?"

The lieutenant stopped struggling. A look of guilt washed over him. The bruised seventh seat stood with a snort, mumbling something just out of Renji's hearing range. Whatever he had said, Shuuhei began thrashing again.

"Enough." Byakuya commanded. "Lieutenant, go home. I'll have a butterfly sent to you with further instructions later." The noble pushed the dark haired shinigami away and towards Renji. "See him there."

When the two were out of sight the captain turned a hard look on his subordinate. "Now, as for you. I suspect you would never be as crass as to suggest some things about someone's wife were they expecting, let alone any woman. Not to mention, of course, your superior and comrade. Given the circumstances I am willing to overlook this."

Before the seventh seat could smile with satisfaction he found his captain inches before him and his limbs held by the strings of a kido he hadn't even heard being muttered.

"Let me make it clear to you," the captain whispered directly to him. "This ruling is not for your benefit. If I even hear a whisper of such things passing your mouth, or in your mind… I will not be so forgiving."

Neither Byakuya nor Shuuhei ever relayed what had caused the brawl. But that evening Shuuhei had refused to go home. Instead he spent half the night worshiping the pronounced bump and what could only be described as cuddling Renji as if they'd all just been through some horrible trauma. Renji didn't question it.

oOoOoOoOo

It was nearly high summer and Renji was utterly miserable. He didn't need a date to tell him he wouldn't last much longer. Every muscle and bone in his body ached from its slow readjustment. The intensity of the heat was hardly helping. And he wasn't even moving, having been put on bed rest earlier in the week by Unohana's orders.

"You okay there?" Shuuhei had come home early form his duties early. It wasn't unusual these days. He had been bringing as much of his work 'home' as he could get away with. He knew he had asked a stupid question. But he had ice in hand. Renji thought he'd forgive him.

Shuuhei settled down on the futon beside him, careful not too close or risk a bitching about body heat. As Renji felt him trailing the ice along him, he relaxed for possibly the first time in days. He had debated asking Hitsugaya taicho and that lovely ice dragon of his over for tea, but he could only imagine the reaction. The anticipation and his own restlessness had certainly taken its toll on the expecting shinigami. He felt absentminded fingers trail through his hair to rub his scalp. He had to admit, being pampered wasn't all that bad.

"Thank you." He cracked an eye as the older spoke to him.

"For what? You're the one waiting on me hand and foot as I'm useless." He grumbled. His lover chuckled leaning over to peck his cheek and take the risk of increasing proximity to lay a hand on Renji's stretched skin.

"This…" He rubbed the spot, and watching his lover flinch as he felt an as of recently unusually decent boot under his palm. Even now it still shocked him.

"That…is the most active they've been in days." Renji breathed out. It wasn't like the poor thing had much room anymore. "Must like you."

"Mmm…Good. Because they're stuck with me." He chuckled.

oOoOoOoOo

By some blessing the temperature had dropped with the sun. With it, and the help of a certain ninth division lieutenant, Renji had finally managed to fall to sleep. Which is why it was much to his chagrin when he found himself bolting out of bed by a sharp throbbing that was something akin to being stabbed from the inside out. So much for the gradual increasing of pain, he thought. Unohana had warned him that the experience would probably make him jealous of most women at the height of their labor. He hadn't expected her to be this correct. It was one of the great pleasures of your body not knowing what to do with itself.

"Fuck." He hissed out. His time in the eleventh division was the only thing keeping him from having screamed out in the first place. Shuuhei woke immediately. He didn't need to ask. He scooped the other man up and had them to the fourth division's base in record time, sending a patrol member to fetch its captain immediately.

"Abarai! Oh how wonderful this is! I came as soon as I heard." They were greeted at the fourth's head quarters by the last face they wanted to see. "You are the first after all! Oh this should be interesting to experience. I wasn't quite sure how this stage would pass, actually. I hope it doesn't kill you. That would be a shame." Sensing the murderous rage being emitted by both, the collecting crowd quickly ushered the Captain away.

"I'm going to KILL that damn mutilated freak!" Renji screeched, his grip on Shuuhei's arm threatening to rip it off as they waited not so patiently for the woman in charge as t he others attempted to prep him properly.

"Not if I do it first." Shuuhei brushed the hair off of his forehead.

"Promise?"

Before Shuuhei could answer the captain had arrived, out of breath and still dressed for slumber. Renji couldn't have cared less. Within a short time that was all too long a very distinctive cry that was not a certain red head's filled the room.

When they had completed the healing procedure to close up the incision wounds, Unohana took great pride in settling the little girl into Renji's arms. Shuuhei sat at his back, holding him up. Just for now, they decided to put off the plotting of a murder.

oOoOoOoOo

"She is SO ADROABLE!" Rangiku squealed stealing the infant away from Renji at his protests. Shuuhei's hands on his shoulder calmed him down. "Taicho, isn't she GORGEOUS?"

"Mmm…" The tenth captain nodded his agreement, having been dragged away from his office abruptly by his lieutenant's sudden shriek of delight. Upon hearing the news of a surprise ganging up on the new parents she had rushed them out the door.

"She has your eyes, Abarai-kun." Orihime giggled trying to get a chance to steal her away. It was complimented by Ishida saying something about how he should have made several different outfits to account for possible complexions she could have had. Ichigo snorted at him, rolling his eyes.

"Well let's hope she doesn't inherit your brain too." He tried to poke, but let the comment die. Taking a new interest in the fight for the child between The two ginger haired women and a newly arrived Yumichika which quickly dissolved into a fashion argument with the eleventh and tenth member arguing over the Quincy's back. Orihime took her chance to steal the baby and rush her over to Rukia who had just arrived with her brother.

"Was it worth it?" Shuuhei whispered into Renji's ear as he slid his arms around the taller man's waist watching their friends gush and coo and pile on more gifts then they thought they'd ever be able to use.

"Yea… I think so." He grinned until Yumichika started dancing around with the baby. His captain quickly took charge of the situation snatching the little girl into his arms. The infant went from giggling to cooing to a giggle in an instant.

"Better watch out, you might be on diaper duty if they shook her around too much." Renji warned him.

The baby crooned, reaching out for strands of the captain's hair wildly. The Kuchiki clan's head's eyes widened instantly when she found her target and tugged lightly. The baby screeched in delight.

"Uh-oh, nei-sama." Rukia giggled. "Looks like you've got another fan. You're so popular."

"….Rukia…." her best friend's tone dropped down to a rumble.

"MM?" She turned innocently only to be slammed on the head.

"That is NOT funny! Don't even JOKE like that!" He seemed mortified.

The two childhood friends started a shouting match about worth and interpretations of Rukia's sentence. The fashion argument had lead Ishida to pulling out fabric samples. Yumichika had taken it upon himself to instantly start redecorating a corner of Renji's bedroom. He had abducted Iba and Kira as his assistants. Byakuya shielded the infant from the chaos with a surprising intensity. Ichigo and Ikkaku stood off trying to discuss anything except children. Hitsugaya attempted to sneak out, only to be pinned firmly in place by a zealous Rangiku.

And above it all, Shuuhei broke out laughing.