Sorry I haven't updated in so long! I've been so busy with school, drama club, work, AMVs, etc. Well, I'm also sorry that this is a little on the short side too!
Hopefully, I'll be done with this fic soon. Only a couple scenes left! Then I can work on some of my other fics (I promised myself that I wouldn't publish anything else until this was finished...which I sorta broke with a one-shot for a completely unrelated fandom, but anynoodles, that's besides the point! Enjoy this installment!
And reviewers, you've all been amazing! Thank you so much, you all say the sweetest, nicest, things and I makes me feel so much more confident about this fic! I can't thank you enough!
THE SEWERS
JAVERT: I'm baaaack!
VALJEAN: ...really? Must I remind you of the bird watching?
JAVERT: It's 2 in the morning! There are no birds out to watch!
VALJEAN: ...bat-watching then?
JAVERT: Alright, you're coming with me!
VALJEAN: Wait, but this boy needs a doctor!
JAVERT: First it was a prostitute needs a doctor, then an orphan needs a father, and now it's a revolutionary needs a doctor! Excuses, excuses!
VALJEAN: Actually, I wouldn't call him a revolutionary. He only joined the insurrection because of my daughter.
JAVERT: Really?
VALJEAN: Yeah, I think he did it to impress her or something. He thinks she likes bad boys or something.
JAVERT: *shakes head* Teenagers, always trying to be rebellious...
VALJEAN: Tell me about it. Two days ago, Cosette wanted to go out and make friends!
JAVERT: Gosh, they're getting more and more wild!... *blinks* wait, am I supposed to be here for something?
VALJEAN: Uhm...
JAVERT: Oh, right, arresting you!
VALJEAN: Come on, seriously, do you think that if God wanted you to catch me, you would have caught me by now?
JAVERT: Well, HA! I'm an atheist!
VALJEAN: ...but this is the musical. You've been turned into a crazy 'holier-than-thou' religious fanatic.
JAVERT: Gosh darn it!
VALJEAN: So...can I go now?
JAVERT: No! Why do you think I keep chasing you?
VALJEAN: Because I'm an escaped convict?
JAVERT: No, dude, I just wanted a friend!
AUDIENCE: Awwwww...
VALJEAN: Whoa, whoa, clingy...
JAVERT: Huh?
VALJEAN: Dude, this bromance, can't work. You're just too attached. You need an identity that's not connected to me.
JAVERT: You're ending our bromance before it even starts?
VALJEAN: It's for the best. It's not you, well, actually, it is you. Sorry man.
JAVERT: Don't go!
VALJEAN: *waking away with Marius* Remember what I said about bird watching!
JAVERT: ...my whole life has been a lie.
PASSERBY: Hey, are you alright?
JAVERT: ...The law is not just.
PASSERBY: Hey, do you need some help?
JAVERT: …why must I go on, living this cruel life?
PASSERBY: ...Dude, suicide is not a good option!
JAVERT: *goes to bridge*
PASSERBY: Not the river!
JAVERT: *puts on hand-cuffs and takes the plunge*
RESCUE-SUE: I'll save you, Mutton-Button! *dies also in her attempt to save him*
AUDIENCE MEMBER #1: So...did he just die?
AUDIENCE MEMBER #2: No, the bridge just fell apart and he got pulled into a little trap door at the stage wall.
AUDIENCE MEMBER #1: Oh, okay, that's what I thought.
*The Next Day*
COSETTE: EVERYDAY YOU WALK
WITH STRONGER STEPS,
YOU WALK WITH
LONGER STEPS
THE WORST-
MARIUS: So you're not leaving me for Azelma?
COSETTE: ...who?
MARIUS: Oh, good, I had this terrible dream that you left me for-
COSETTE: Actually, Marius, we need to talk...
MARIUS: …
COSETTE: Yeah...I just don't see us working...
MARIUS: But, but-we're the canon couple!
COSETTE: Yeah, that's the problem...you see, people don't like me because I'm one half of the canon couple.
MARIUS: But I like you! Isn't that all that matters?
COSETTE: Uhm...yeah, well-HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF EVERYONE CALLED YOU A MARY-SUE?
MARIUS: Uh...
COSETTE: *sobs* What-t, just because I get-t the guy, I'm a criminal? I-I-WAAAAH!
MARIUS: *tries to comfort her*
COSETTE: *runs off*
VALJEAN: *comes on, glaring at Marius* What. On. Earth. Did. You. Little. Punk. DO TO HER?
MARIUS: *covers himself* Don't hurt me! I'll ill! I didn't know what I was doing I-EEEP!
VALJEAN: * raises fist* I'VE SEEN THE SCUM OF THE SCUM, I'VE BEEN THROUGH HELL, BUT NONE OF THAT IS AS LOW AS YOU!
MARIUS: ...wait, what?
VALJEAN: I'VE SPENT TIME IN PRISON WITH GANG MEMBERS AND MURDERERS, BUT THAT'S NOT AS BAD AS SOMEONE WHO BREAKS THE HEART OF AN INNOCENT GIRL!
MARIUS: Think about what you're saying here...
VALJEAN: I'VE CHANGED MY NAME THOUSANDS OF TIMES, BUT THOSE LIES ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO MY LITTLE GIRL WHO DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HER NAME IS!
MARIUS: Are you-
VALJEAN: I'M FLIPPIN'-JEAN-VAL-THE-CONVICT-24601-JEAN, I LEARNED THINGS IN PRISON, BOY, AND I CAN TRY THEM OUT ON YOU, WHY I-Oh shit.
AWKWARD SILENCE: *is awkward*
MARIUS:...uhm, if I may-
VALJEAN: Just leave. Now.
MARIUS: *scurries off*
Thanks for reading!