Mystery Solved

Daniel looks at me as though this is my fault. Like I deliberately locked Mikta in the garden shed and forgot about her. Would I be that cruel? Me?

He certainly seems to think so. Doesn't say much, that's not his way, but if the evil eye he's casting in my direction tell me means anything, then my life over the next few days is gonna get interesting.

Where was I? Oh, yes, the garden shed. Daniel was tucked in his play pen watching some documentary on something documental and I took a moment to duck outside and grab my tackle box.

Eyes up, soldier, I'm talking about lures and hooks here.

Ah, the call of the loon! The weather was turning and the fish would be biting soon. I'd been planning a trip to the cabin for weeks now and Carter has graciously offered to cat-sit Isis while we are gone. Sucker!

Not knowing I was about to be attacked by something scarier than an over-pepped Jaffa, I flung the shed door open without a care in the world.

Like a bat out of hell, this grey ball of fluff and twine smacked me in the face, her paws reaching around my head, claws locking onto my scalp. I had a quick moment of sympathy for John Hurt as her belly squashed my nose, but that passed when her claws started to draw blood.

I staggered backwards trying to pull her royal fluff-ness off my face. She naturally held on tighter. We did this odd pirouette until I tripped over my own feet and landed smack on my butt.

Disengaging Daniel's little alien was a job fraught with terror. I kept expecting her to squirt acid at me, or for Sigourney Weaver to come rushing to my rescue, but apparently I was on my own. I stumbled out from under the old elm tree into daylight, where events took a turn from cheesy sci-fi right to glitter vampires. Isis unclamped herself from my face with all the speed of a trap disengaging and jumped back, hissing at the sun.

Jury is still out as to whether she's team Edward or team Jacob.

The whole episode would have been hilarious if it wasn't for the twine hanging from her butt. Curiosity got the better of me, and while Mikta was reacquainting herself with daylight, I leaned forward and snagged the twine.

Only it wasn't twine.

Nope.

Shoulda' known.

Alerted to my curiosity, she spun on me, one paw swiping at my hand, eyes flashing "danger Will Robinson". Yep, Daniel's little horror had been playing in my tackle box and her rear end was a knotted mass of fishing line and hooks.

Oy.

So, here we sit in the local vet hospital. I'm nursing an arm that has been cut to ribbons from trying to put Isis in her pet carrier, and Daniel is running through his extensive repertoire of pissy looks on me.

"Mr. O'Neill."

That's me!

"Yep." I pull Daniel into my arms and stand as the doc approaches.

"Your cat will be fine," he states with a broad smile. I try to look relieved. I fail. "Unfortunately, we were unable to untangle the hooks from her long fur so we've had to shave the affected area. Ragdoll fur is quite fast growing so she should recover quickly."

"You shaved her butt?"

The doc reaches over and ruffles Danny's hair. "Her hind, yes we did."

He's kidding, right? I count his hands. Yep, he's still got two. No blood on his crisp white jacket, no scratch marks on his face. Eyes in the right place. "And your staff, they're okay?"

"My staff?"

I'm still counting body parts here. Two ears, healthy head of hair, one eyebrow. Man needs a wax job. "Well, you're not missing any limbs. Vital organs? No? You must have delegated. Good, man."

"No." He laughs lightly. "She was quite happy to let us shave her. Normally we'd consider some light sedation, but Isis slept through the whole procedure. Quite the disciplined young lady you have there."

Ah, WHAT? "We are talking about the same animal, aren't we?" Do I sound whiney?

The doc looks confused for a moment but decides I must be joking. "She's just being treated to a bath and massage. As soon as you've settled her account, she'll be fine to go home."

What is this place? A day spa? He hands me the bill of expenses and wanders off.

"Ja?"

"Daniel?"

"What dat?"

I look at the bill and cringe. Anyone care to tell me why it cost $375 to shave a cat's butt?

The End