Yep, it's another parody. I'm starting to really like these things.

Anyway, this is what I think the Outsiders would be like if it was written in modern times... by an Outsiders fanatic. ;) It's all for good fun, please keep an open mind while reading.

I don't own the Outsiders, or any of the lines that you recognise. Which will be many.

When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Sodapop Curtis, and the fact that Matt Dillon played a side character in the movie I just watched.

I was wishing I looked like Sodapop Curtis- even though he's a boy and I'm not- but I guess my own looks aren't so bad. I have light brown, almost red hair, which I guess you could say is simply auburn, but I like saying that it's "light brown, almost red" because that's Ponyboy's hair colour and I want to have at least one thing in common with him.

Instead of greenish gray eyes, though, my eyes were a boring hazel colour. No one in the Outsiders gang had that eyes that colour. Sigh. I wish they were more green, gray, blue, dark brown, or almost ANY colour at all besides this weird mix, but I have to be content with what I have. Ponyboy was.

My hair is shorter than most girls wear theirs, in a way that made me look more like a guy than a girl from the back, but I am a proud Outsiders fanatic and most of the fandom I belong to never let it grow out, so that we'd be just like the greasers from the 60s, but without the greased hair. Besides, I look better with short hair.

I had a long walk home and no company, but I usually lone it anyway, for no reason except that I like to watch movies undisturbed so that I can give each of the actors Outsiders names, then say them out loud to try them for size. When I see a movie with someone it's sort of uncomfortable, because they always look at me like I'm crazy or something when I do stuff like that.

I'm different that way. I mean, my older sister, Melanie, who's sixteen-going-on-seventeen, doesn't care that she's exactly the same age as Sodapop right now, and my parents are always too stressed with bills and taxes to be interested in a good fanfiction or a piece of fan art from one of the well-known names in the fandom, so I'm not like them. For a while, before I found the fandom, I thought I was the only person in the world that loved the Outsiders so much. Even afterwards, I could only talk to my fellow fans via the internet. So I loned it.

Melanie tries to understand, at least, which is more than my parents do. But then, Mel is different from anybody; she understands everything, almost. Like she's never trying to change me like my parents do, or treating my obsession like it was a disease. I love Melanie more than I've ever loved anyone. She's almost like my own personal Sodapop, except the fact that she's a little more serious than he is.

Anyway, I went on walking home, thinking about the Outsiders like I always did, ( The movie had already been forgotten) and then suddenly wishing I had some company. Any extreme fan of something knows that you can't walk alone too much or someone of a different fandom will attack and try to convert you. Either that or someone will come and scream "Freak!" at you, which doesn't make you feel too great, if you know what I mean.

The enemies of Outsider rumblers like me are the Twihards, who are always attacking us to try to force us to like the Twilight series. We have an alliance of sorts with the Pottermaniacs, who acknowledge that the Outsiders is a good book, but stick to their HP.

We're fewer than the Pottermaniacs or the Twihards. I reckon we're fiercer and more dedicated, too. Not like the Twihards, who attack lone rumblers and wear "Team Edward/Jacob" t-shirts readily made for them at stores, and get scorned by adults one day and praised the next. Rumblers are almost like Classics (The very rare fans of the classics who make it their mission to spread the love of the oldest stories) ; we make our own fan shirts and quote parts of the book on English papers and spread the Outsiders goodness by doing rallies and even having fights with the other smaller fandoms once in a while.

I don't mean I do these things. I'm only saying that most rumblers do things like that, just like how we memorise the book by heart, have usernames having to do with the book, and research the 60s for fun. And I'm not saying that either the Twihards or the rumblers are better; that's just the way things are. Groups like these have existed since the dawn of time- The Outsiders proved as much.

I could have waited to go to the movies until my parents or Melanie had the time. Or I could've watched the movie online for free with my fandom buddies- one of the exclusive fanclub I belonged to that only had 7 spots. We were all tested on our knowledge, devotion, and love for the book, and in a tight-knit online community like that, we got to know each other so well that we were practically family. Each of us played a character in the Outsiders gang, so that I pretty much lived the book itself.

That's when I saw that silver Volvo trailing me. I was almost two blocks from home then, so I started walking a little faster. I'd never been attacked before, but I knew the story Jolie told us at the fanclub about when the Twihards had gotten hold of her, and it wasn't a pretty story. Jolie was never the same about The Outsiders after that; never as enthusiastic and hardly posting anymore. We were lucky she'd even had the nerve to stay a part of the fandom after that, never mind the fanclub.

I knew it wasn't any use though- the fast walking, I mean- even before the Volvo stopped and five obvious Twihards got out. I got pretty scared- I'm kinda small for fourteen even though I took swimming classes to get to the fitness level Ponyboy described himself to be, and those Twihards were always ten times stronger than they looked.

I mean, they all looked like either an Alice or a Bella, and that wasn't very threatening, except that both characters were vampires (eventually). So they somehow managed to be strong and small at the same time.

I automatically hitched my thumbs in my jeans and slouched, wondering if I could get away if I made a break for it. But no, I remembered. The Twilight vampires were fast, so these girls all trained in track as well.

I remembered the picture of Jolie she'd taken of herself after the Twihards got to her- her whole body decorated with Twilight stickers and wearing one of those "I love boys who SPARKLE" t-shirts that were humiliating to all female Rumblers, because it was a disgrace to Sodapop Curtis.

I remembered how her face had been streaked with tears in the awful photo. It took a lot to make Jolie cry- her family thought she was mental for loving the Outsiders so much, and locked her in her room for hours a day to "snap her out of it".

I bit my lip, trying to fend them off by the classic Bella-move. We'd all studied Twilight, so that we knew their tricks and they weaknesses. Hopefully, by giving them a Twilight reference, they'd be so excited that I'd be able to get away.

When that didn't work, and they just kept surrounding me, I looked around for something that would reference the Outsiders and give me a little much-needed strength to resist, but there was nothing, so I just stood there like a bump on a log while they circled me, smiling. They were all skinnier than me, and two were younger and shorter than me, but I knew that that wasn't their true nature.

"Hey, Rumblie," one said in a high, sugary sweet voice, "We're going do you a favour, Rumbler. We're going to give you a whole new wardrobe! What kind of girl likes to wear rags like those?"

She had on a black, skin-tight Twilight shirt that said "I 3 Vampires". I can still see it. The typical overpriced Twilight merchandise that you can buy just about anywhere.

One of them giggled, and patted me on the head. I couldn't think of anything to say. There just isn't a whole lot you can say while waiting for your whole life to be turned upside down, so I kept my mouth shut.

"Now, let's start with a nice new shirt, shall we?" one of the younger girls said, pulling out a black shirt from the trunk of the Volvo. She held it up, and advanced towards me, still smiling.

Okay, that's it for now. Review? :)