Title: If You Love Her

Author: SilverDragon

He dropped to one knee.  One hand extended outwards, holding a small box.  With a slow pop, the box slid open through power of the Force alone.  "Will you marry me?"

Padmé took a step backwards, staring at the ring.  "Anakin!" she said astonished.

The young man bent his head.  His apprentice braid fell past his shoulder and onto his chest.  With a sudden mischievous grin that broke the tense moment, Anakin extended the ring further out.  "Please?"

"Begging won't change my decision," Padmé informed him.

Anakin's face fell. 

"We both have obligations to the Republic.  There is no room for marriage."

Anakin rose, his black cloak swirling around him, "When two people love each other as we do, nothing should get in the path of that.  Even if the galaxy fell apart right this minute, I would rather die knowing that I had sworn myself to you."

"The galaxy is very near doing that," Padmé sighed.  "Jedi aren't allowed to marry."

Anakin's jaw twitched slightly before he visibly calmed.  "Obi-Wan told you that, didn't he?"  The young man's voice was gathering a slight edge.

Amidala's heart melted at the look on Anakin's face.  "Oh Ani," she simply sighed.

"Forget it."  Anakin turned away for a quick moment before facing Amidala again.  "I can't walk out this room knowing that you're still inside," he stammered.  "I mean...something along those lines."

Amidala smiled graciously at him and slid one hand along his upper arm, giving a gentle squeeze.  Anakin's large eyes looked back at her.  "Are you an angel?" he breathed, reaching one hand back to rest on top of hers.

***

"Are you allowed?"

Obi-Wan turned slightly seeing a handmaiden standing next to him.  Sabé, he recalled.  "Allowed to do what?  Place our fate in the hands of a boy we hardly know?  Bet on impossible odds?"

"No," Sabé said.  "Are Jedi allowed to – marry?"

Obi-Wan blinked once and turned to fully face Sabé.  "A Jedi is not allowed emotions."

"But a human is," Sabé pressed, "The Jedi Council can't deny anybody the basics of feeling.  It's an instinct.  No Jedi training could ever block that."

"I suppose you're right."  Obi-Wan smiled slightly, rubbing one hand along his cleanly-shaven chin.  "We do feel love – but we have learned that whenever we do, something will happen to break it apart.  The Force apparently, does not like Jedi to love."

"You believe this Force controls your life?" Sabé asked, disbelievingly.  "It's an abstract thing."  Obi-Wan smiled faintly.  "No mystical force controls my destiny," Sabé continued.

"Oh?"  Obi-Wan turned again, closing his eyes briefly.  Sabé turned, looking for the source of such intense concentration, but she saw nothing.  A faint knowing smile came to her lips.  "The Force – " she started, but then gasped.

The sands were rising and dancing in a musical movement, swirling around Obi-Wan rapidly, creating a sandstorm around him.  It was a display of control and power.  Sabé's mouth dropped.  "How do you – "

Obi-Wan opened one eye and winked at her.  "The Force is in every living creature, object, particle."  Slowly, the sands died down as Obi-Wan released his grip on them.  "Now do you believe?"

"I believe in the Force, but I don't believe how it can forbid you to love."  Sabé was unrelenting. 

Obi-Wan frowned slightly, an intense look coming to him.  "The mysteries of the Force are deep.  As a Jedi, I spend my life studying the Force and trying to understand it."  He shrugged.  "Master Qui-Gon is teaching me much."  Obi-Wan's light blue eyes met hers.  "Back to your question.  Jedi are allowed to marry . . . after Knighthood."

Sabé sighed wistfully.  It was a shot in the dark but – "How long until your knighting?"

"I'm 25 now, so probably in a year or two."  Obi-Wan's eyes turned mischievous.  God, Sabé wouldn't stop looking deep into them.  "Why all the questions?"

"I've never met a Jedi before."  Sabé glanced longingly at him before diverting her attention to the sands.  How was it possible this striking man in front of her had turned such bland things into magic?

"I hope it will be a long time until I'm knighted," Obi-Wan admitted.  "I don't want to part with Master Qui-Gon for quite awhile.  I'm just not ready, mentally, I mean."

Sabé smiled at his unwillingness to admit that he also might not be ready physically.  She looked up to see that Obi-Wan was staring intently at her.  A warm blush crept up her cheeks, halted only by years of diplomatic discipline.

"You're the first person I've ever admitted these things to," Obi-Wan said.  "I haven't even told Qui-Gon.  And I wonder – "

"What?" Sabé asked.

In response, Obi-Wan leaned over and gently kissed her on the lips.

***

"Padmé, what did you do to that poor boy?" Sabé asked accusingly.

"What?"

"Anakin Skywalker.  I saw him leave a moment ago."

Padmé closed her eyes and sank down into a chair.  "He asked me to marry him."

"So marry him!"

Padmé's eyes flew open in a startled expression.  A moment later, Sabé heard fully what she has said and apologized, "I'm sorry.  I was just lost thinking about how his master would have to come to a wedding."

A small smile touched Padmé's lips.  "You never did tell me what happened between you and that young Kenobi."

"Oh that was a magical night."  Sabé smiled wistfully before snapping back to reality.  "Anyway, we were talking about you and Skywalker.  What's wrong?  I thought you liked him."

"He's a child," Padmé said.

"After all you two have been through, you still think he's a nine-year-old boy?"

That was true, Padmé reflected.  Anakin had saved her life countless times, braved a Reek for her, and how could she forget the brush of his lips against hers as the two strained to kiss even while the crowd outside screamed for their deaths?

"Step aside, Skywalker.  I don't want you.  Just the Senator."

"No!  You'll have to kill me before you ever get to her!"

The hiss of lightsabers clashing together...Padmé shuddered.  "All right.  He isn't a child, but he's just not...it doesn't feel right," Padmé confessed.  "He's nineteen.  I'm twenty-four.  Those two ages don't ring a bell with me."

"You of all people worrying over that mundane matter," Sabé laughed.  "You just don't want to admit you love him."

"I can't fall in love with a Jedi.  He told me so himself.  Love is forbidden."

"Can you stop what has already happened?" Sabé challenged.

***

"We could keep it a secret."

"But we'd be living a lie.  I couldn't do that.  Could you, Anakin?"

Anakin replayed the moment in his head.  Yes, he answered mentally, I could.  A nine-year-old Anakin Skywalker would never have even considered hiding something so big from Obi-Wan, or even the meddling Council, but this desire flowed so strongly within him...Anakin sighed.

He was willing to do anything to have her in his arms, to know that she loved him and wanted him.  Anakin had never felt that way about anyone before.  He remembered Padmé's father speaking softly to him: will you treat her right?

She is the center of the universe to me, Anakin replied.  He licked his lips, longing once more.  Oh how he wanted her right now...but he would teach himself patience.  With a reluctant sigh, Anakin turned to look back towards her chambers and then slowly ran one hand along the edge of the ring.

"What happened?"

Anakin turned sharply, surprised to see Obi-Wan standing there, a bemused expression on his face.  "Obi-Wan!"

"You're being too silent," Obi-Wan remarked.

Anakin folded one hand over the ring and slid it into the inner folds of his cloak.  "Sorry.  I'll start talking more if it worries you.  But I was just...thinking."

"That's a new one for you," Obi-Wan said, studying his padawan's face carefully.  "I spoke with Master Yoda earlier.  He says that you should start preparing for your trials."

Anakin's head jerked up.  "Really?"

"We need Jedi Knights at a time like this," Obi-Wan said.  "The Clone Wars have started.  Remember your duty to the Republic, Anakin.  You swore to protect it and uphold its traditions."

"I know all these things," Anakin snapped, irritated.

"I know you do."  Obi-Wan's voice reflected understanding.

"Then why must you repeat them?"

"I repeat them to remind myself," Obi-Wan said calmly.

"It's just – " With a shake of his head, Anakin halted his sentence.  "Never mind.  Everything is changing so fast."  He flexed his new arm.  "Even my arm is gone now, and with it, a part of myself."

Obi-Wan dropped his head to indicate Anakin's new lightsaber.  "You built a new one," he observed.

"Yeah."  Anakin gazed towards Padmé's chambers.

Obi-Wan followed his gaze and one eyebrow rose in surprise.  "Waiting for the Senator?"

Anakin grunted.

"It can be difficult, trying to maintain a relationship," Obi-Wan warned.  "Believe it or not, Padawan, I've fallen in love before.  It is mostly heartbreak, especially in a time of war when defending a love one can be..."

Anakin wheeled abruptly, "She won't die.  Not while I live."

"Two assassination attempts have been made on her life in the past two weeks," Obi-Wan reprimanded.  "Do not form such a lasting attachment."

"Don't tell me I can't love her."  Tears clouded Anakin's vision.

"I won't because I know you already do."  Obi-Wan hesitated.  "I'm telling you this as your friend, Anakin."

"Well, thanks," Anakin snapped.

"I don't want you to get hurt."

Anakin set his jaw stubbornly and faced Obi-Wan, "I won't."

Pausing, Obi-Wan brushed the air with his hand as if flicking away dust before speaking, "Then why do I feel the Force circling in such a disturbance around you?" 

Out of the corner of his eye, Anakin could see Obi-Wan staring steadily at him.  He diverted his body stance slightly to shake off the feeling.  "It's nothing," he ground out.  "It's my life you're talking about."

    With a sigh, Obi-Wan pressed one hand to Anakin's shoulder briefly before turning and walking down the corridor.  Anakin let out a sigh of relief as Obi-Wan's footsteps faded.

***

"Ani?  My goodness, you've grown."

"So have you.  Grown more beautiful, I mean."

Padmé recalled that moment of their first reunion.  She had been stunned.  No, stunned was an understatement.  She had been expecting to see the same nine-year-old boy she had met years ago...and instead, there had been this charming, handsome, young Jedi Knight.  A very charming young man, Padmé thought.

A sharp rap on her door brought her mind back to focus.  "Enter," she called.

Sabé entered the room.  "Did you know Anakin Skywalker has been waiting outside all night, M'lady?"

Padmé groaned softly to herself.  "Tell him to get some sleep."

"He won't listen to me."

"Well tell him that I want him to get some sleep."

"He won't listen to that, either."

"Tell him he's the most stubborn man to ever walk on this planet," Padmé grumbled.  "Then tell him to go home."

Sabé didn't budge.  "He says he won't leave until he speaks with you."

"Tell him I'll call security."

With a sigh, Sabé exited the chamber...only to return a few minutes later.  "He says he has a lightsaber," she pronounced.  "And he has good reason.  He's just fulfilling his mission, tending to your safety."

"Tell him unless he goes home and gets some sleep, I'll shoot myself," Padmé said threateningly.  "And don't forget to mention that I mean it."

Sabé exited again, only to reenter with Anakin by her side.  Padmé stumbled backwards in surprise, hastily fumbling with her hair.  "Don't," Anakin said, "You look beautiful even without hours spent on your hair."

"Anakin..." Padmé started.  She turned a flat glare on Sabé who shrugged helplessly.

Anakin crossed the room, standing three feet from Padmé.  "I love you."

"Anakin..."

He stepped closer, his eyes gazing deep into hers.  She couldn't resist staring back into them...oh she could spend hours on end happily doing so.  They were so full of innocence, hiding and holding back all the fears of the world for her. 

Gently, Anakin grasped her left hand.  "I do love you," he whispered.

Padmé fell into the embrace, tilting her head upwards to meet his lips.  A moment later, common sense kicked in and she pulled away.  "Ani...we can't do this.  The Jedi – the Jedi aren't allowed to marry."

"Actually," Sabé quipped from her corner.  "They can marry after Knighthood."

Padmé glared at her friend.  "Thank you so much."

"It's true," Anakin said, folding himself back into his cloak.  "But I would break any Jedi Code to be with you."

"I don't want to jeopardize your future as a Jedi Knight."

"You wouldn't be.  You'd be...enchanting it."

***

"It is a great pleasure to see you again, M'lady."

"It has been far too long, Master Kenobi."

Sabé smiled.  She had been hidden back in the shadows, wrapped in her handmaiden garments when that meeting had occurred...it was a reunion for two pairs of people, she thought. 

Now she strode purposefully down the hall...when she suddenly noticed him. 

He turned just as she neared.  "Never could sneak up on me," he teased.

"You're here late," she remarked.

"I know.  I'm worried about my apprentice."

"Anakin Skywalker?"

Obi-Wan nodded absentmindedly.  "He loves the Senator, you know."

"How can I not?  Anakin is many things, but least of all subtle.  I've seen the way he looks at her."  Sabé sighed.  "He's in there now, pronouncing his love and swearing allegiance."

Obi-Wan's eyes snapped open, "What?"

"I exaggerated," Sabé admitted.  "Rather, he's in there and Padmé's trying to knock some common sense into him."

"She does that job better than I."

"Do you have someone in your life to knock some common sense into you?"

Obi-Wan's mind flashed to Master Yoda.  "Yes.  Literally."  With that blasted gimer stick of his, he finished ruefully.

Sabé's expression fell slightly, "How is she?"

"Oh, you meant..." Obi-Wan shook his head.  "No, I was speaking about an entirely different subject, then."  He turned to glance at her, and time flashed back ten years.  Everything was the same, right down to his handsome features.  Except for that beard, Sabé admitted, everything about Obi-Wan Kenobi was downright...well...sexy.

"I remember ten years ago..." she started.  "You showed me the Force."

He made a faint 'go-on' gesture with one hand.

"You did a wondrous dance with the sands of Tatooine.  Such bland items, turned alive, through the Force.  I have been wondering ever since: are Jedi artistic?"

A confused expression came over Obi-Wan's face.  "The Force overflows with beauty," he quoted.  "If you love sands, you should visit the Temple sometime and ask for a Jedi Master Luminara.  Her skill far exceeds mine in the form of art."

"That would be an honor," Sabé smiled.

Obi-Wan stretched.  "Have you ever been in love?" he inquired.  Seeing her look at him oddly, he quickly added, "in the spirit of the moment, since everybody around us seems to be discussing the subject."

Sabé calmed her racing heart.  He can probably sense such things.  "I have," she admitted, "Never true love.  More like...crushes."

"I as well...only mine include women who have tried to kill me on countless occasions or women who wound up being my enemy."  Obi-Wan shrugged.  "You can't quite tell whose the enemy anymore."  He smiled.  "At least I know I'm safe around you."

"The galaxy has become a very different place."

"A very wise troll told me the Clone Wars have started."  Obi-Wan shot a wary look down the hallway.  "And yet my padawan chooses this time of all times to get involved in love."

Hiding a stab of disappointment, Sabé said, "So you don't approve of love?"

"Oh, I welcome it when it smacks me right in the face," Obi-Wan said.

tbc