One
"I hate dress uniforms."
"You look wonderful in one." Chakotay grinned at her, using the reflection of the window in his quarters to straighten his collar. When he left it a little crooked, he was testing her.
B'Elanna rolled her eyes and took over. "Let me." Smoothing his jacket and straightening his collar properly, she patted his chest. "There. Now you look as wonderful as I do."
His laugh had a trace of relief in it. He was nervous, as much as he was very genially hiding it.
"How long is this trial again?" she wondered, grabbing the bouquet Tuvok had grown himself off the table.
"You mean the great marriage experiment?" he asked, offering her his arm. His smile clung to his lips and the light stayed in his eyes. Even nervous, he was happier than she'd ever seen him.
She took his arm and led the way to the turbolift. "Is that what you're calling it?"
He chuckled as the lift began whisking them up towards deck two. "That's what she's calling it. Marriage is more binding in her traditions."
Shaking her head at him, B'Elanna kept them in the turbolift, even though it stopped on deck two. "Your people's tradition might allow marriages a few years of shakedown. You never would have asked if you didn't think it would last for the rest of your life."
His dark eyes twinkled; he knew he was caught. "She doesn't know that. Since I'll be the second husband, after Voyager, I thought she might need a little more leeway."
Putting her free hand on his arm, B'Elanna beamed at him and led him out of the turbolift towards the mess hall. "I'll bet you two months of replicator rations she takes this just as seriously as you actually do, which is much more seriously than you told her you do."
This time Chakotay stopped them right in front of the doors to the mess hall. The melody played by Harry and the rest of the impromptu band carried sweetly through the bulkhead and the doors.
"Thank you," he said, patting her hand before he released it to hug her tightly. Surprised by the gesture, B'Elanna hugged him back just as fiercely.
"You don't have to thank me," she whispered. "You're my friend."
"That's why I'm thanking you," Chakotay corrected her. He held her for another moment, then sighed. "No bet. I'll probably be so excited cooking for her I'll be begging you for replicator rations."
"Like you did last week."
Her chest was tight and warm with all the things she'd never tell him. "Exactly."
Tom walked through the door, arms crossed over his chest. Somehow, he managed to make his dress uniform look casual, but B'Elanna had no idea how he'd done it. "You two are holding things up, and there's a whole barrel of fruit compote that's only getting stronger as we stand out here talking. You're not getting cold feet, are you?"
"My fault, Tom," B'Elanna offered sheepishly. "I had to make sure his intentions were honourable."
"Not too honourable," Tom quipped, patting Chakotay on the shoulder. "That wouldn't be any fun, now would it?"
Chakotay met Tom's eyes and for a moment, even two, B'Elanna wondered if the two of them would hug. That, she could tease Tom about for the next decade or two.
Tom was touched. His smile had that honest twist to it that meant something had gotten through to his surprisingly soft heart. "Come on, Commander," he teased to save himself. "There's a well dressed Vulcan in there and I think he's waiting for you."
Two
Ransom was nearly the breaking point. B'Elanna knew that the captain was the most stubborn person on the ship, something she normally found a relief, and Chakotay was definitely in the running for third. The great marriage experiment, as the captain had once called it, had almost failed. Janeway had gone too far when she allowed those creatures into the cargo bay. B'Elanna had to admit she was torn on who she supported. Five years ago, she might have followed Chakotay's line of reasoning but she'd rediscovered she had respect for the same Starfleet principles she'd once laughed at. Ransom's crew had thrown those out the airlock and killed intelligent beings. They deserved to die, and if the creatures were their executioners, well, that was fair.
That wasn't how Chakotay saw it, and she couldn't help seeing how hurt he was. Voyager came first, their ranks came first, and their marriage came second.
Ransom had gone too far. Janeway went too far trying to catch him and Chakotay was sleeping on the sofa in their quarters. He'd been sore when they played hoverball and that either meant the captain and he were using a Klingon method to work out their problems, or he was sleeping on the sofa.
She'd thrashed him in hoverball. That was normal enough, but this time, he seemed to enjoy losing. Tom said the captain had been in her ready room most of the day and Harry said she had asked for extra diagnostics that even Tuvok thought were unnecessary. Seven had reported that the captain had allowed them eight matches of velocity and won six without seeming to enjoy it.
Chakotay wasn't listening to her. He was wrapped up in his own demons and when he was done hating both of them for being so stubborn, he'd find reason again. He wasn't the way in. As strange as it was to contemplate, Janeway was the weak point.
She'd been thinking about that, trying to decide what she could do apart from locking the two of them up in a mysterious turbolift malfunction. Staring into her coffee wasn't helping but she couldn't give up. She glanced up as she finished. If Neelix was around, he'd give her a refill. Instead of the busy little Talaxian, she saw the captain, searching through the pots of coffee by smell for the one she wanted.
B'Elanna flew out of her chair, reminding herself to say something intelligent.
"Coffee?" the captain asked politely. No title meant she was in a hurry or she didn't want to talk.
To hell with that.
"Thank you," B'Elanna held her cup over the corner and let the captain fill it.
"You're up late," the captain observed. The mess hall was deserted except for the two of them. It must have been a great deal later than B'Elanna thought it was.
"I'm planning a mutiny," B'Elanna announced casually.
Janeway choked on her coffee and had to reach for one of Neelix's towels before she coughed it all over her uniform. "Pardon?"
"I had intended for it to be a surprise," B'Elanna replied with her best poker face. "Don't worry. It'll be a bloodless one. It's not that I've just realised I've always wanted to be captain but I really think I'd be doing you and Chakotay a favour."
"A favour?" Janeway's eyebrows were halfway up her forehead but she hadn't called security yet. This was progress.
B'Elanna wrapped her hands tightly around her coffee cup. "It's mutiny or locking you in a turbolift. Mutiny seemed more honest."
"I appreciate your dedication to the truth, Lieu-" Janeway ate the first syllable of B'Elanna's title and made the effort to call her by her first name. "B'Elanna." She paused, dropping her gaze to the floor and rubbing the back of her neck, defeated. "I will, of course, be caught entirely off guard by your mutiny."
"That's very kind of you," B'Elanna answered, surprised by her own smile.
"One word of advice?" the captain offered. "Something I should have listened to myself."
"Of course."
"Make your first officer someone wiser than you," Janeway sighed, setting down her coffee. She rubbed her fingers in slow circles around her temples. "And trust him."
That was as much of an admission of guilt as B'Elanna was going to get. "I was going to ask Tuvok," she said with a shrug. "Though...I gave serious thought to Harry."
Janeway's laughter was exhausted and gentle. "Harry?"
"Anyone but Tom," B'Elanna shrugged, sipping her coffee. "Probably Tuvok. I'd be willing to consider keeping you on board as my chief engineer. However, I'll be down there all the time, making sure you're keeping my ship in one piece."
The captain laughed harder and the light of it crept into her blue eyes. "Right. I've heard captains do that."
How long had it been since the captain had smiled like that? It was comforting to see it again.
"Well...at first it's unsettling," B'Elanna admitted. "You think she's checking up on you, and you're upset because you might not be good enough. Eventually you realise that it's just her ship she's worried about. Prove it's in good hands and eventually when she comes down she smiles at you and you realise you might be doing all right after all."
The captain's eyes softened and that look: the one where her chin trembled and her smile turned fragile, spread across her face. She reached across the counter, taking B'Elanna's wrist in her hand. "Maybe you're the only one she trusts with her ship. It might take some time to earn that trust."
"You can do it," B'Elanna teased, smiling back warmly. "I might be inclined to trust you."
Janeway squeezed her arm and reached for her coffee. "Is this when you tell me to apologise to Chakotay?"
"No, this is when I tell you to stop beating yourself up and let him back in bed before the crick in his neck really starts to ruin his hoverball."
Janeway cocked her head, puzzled. "I'm sleeping on the sofa, not him."
The admission made B'Elanna smirk. "Then maybe you should get back into bed, Captain." She finished her coffee and left the cup on the counter. She was nearly to the door when the captain caught up with her.
"I went against everything he thought I should have done," Janeway said, twisting her hands together.
"Sometimes you will," B'Elanna blurted out, surprised that the conversation had gotten this far. "I can't say I know much about relationships. Tom, well, he's the first relationship I've really had that's gone further than a few nights together, keeping warm. And I make him angry, and I argue with him and sometimes I wish I'd never ever tried to make it work with him."
"I sense a 'however'," Janeway said, releasing her fingers and putting a hand on her hip instead.
"Sometimes I apologise," B'Elanna replied, crossing her arms over her chest. "Sometimes he apologises. Sometimes I just walk up to him, tell him how much of an idiot I am and hope he still loves me."
"And you're suggesting the latter?" The captain quirked an eyebrow.
B'Elanna had to grin a little at that. That she really couldn't picture. "I'm suggesting what works," she said finally. "Idiot works for me. Maybe you want to stick with stubborn."
"Maybe I want to upgrade it to damn idiot." The captain put both hands on her hips and frowned. "To think I thought being married would make my life easier."
"Well," B'Elanna chuckled. "That was brilliant of you."
Three
"Do you think they'll get her eyes?" Tom asked under his breath as Chakotay walked past, padd in hand. Tuvok was working at the tactical station. He wouldn't interfere until Tom was deep underneath the commander's skin and that was the fun part. "I think it would be kind of pretty, don't you Tuvok?"
Tuvok didn't even have to look up to be intellectually superior. "You are aware, Mr. Paris, that blue eyes would be genetically unlikely in the offspring of two parents with blue and brown eyes."
"And they'll get his hair," Tom quipped. He turned from his console. A boring night on the bridge had been made all that much more promising when the captain's slip of the tongue and her exceptional good mood that afternoon had made her decision to deactivate her fertility inhibitor that much more intriguing. Sure, he was thrilled for them both but that didn't mean he couldn't poke a little fun.
"Maybe we'll keep going until we get a real red head," Chakotay interrupted, smiling a little. "I've always wanted several children. One just seems too lonely."
"Naomi's on board, if you're thinking about playmates," Tom said, leaning back in his chair. "My sisters and I got along great when I was growing up."
"I have four children and my wife and I agree that their relationships with each other are nearly more important than their relationships with us," Tuvok added, setting down his padd and devoting more of his attention to the conversation. "You and the captain are both young enough that you could conceivably have several children."
"I'll pass that along to my wife," Chakotay replied, switching to the captain's chair to check something on her readouts. "We'll expect both of you to babysit."
"I am more than qualified to do so," Tuvok said with a nod. His eyes returned to his work and Tom grinned. Talking babies on the bridge was a long way from where they'd started a few years back when they were stranded. Maybe it was an impovement.
"I'd be honoured," Tom joked, resting his hands on his knees. "Television. Holonovels. The right way to con extra ice cream out of your parents. I think there's a lot I could teach a child. Especially one with the captain's intellect. The little tyke will catch on faster than Naomi Genius Wildman."
"The commander's intelligence is also well above average for a human," Tuvok intoned as he moved from his station to OPS. "I predict their offspring will make excellent additions to the crew, if that is what they desire."
"Have you been planning to repeat your Academy program, Tuvok?" Tom asked, leaning back comfortably in his chair. "Have you taught children?"
"I have taught children of many ages, and cadets." Tuvok's hands moved expertly over the panel but his eyes were on Tom. "I anticipate being very busy in the next few decades, should our journey take that long."
"Let's hope it doesn't," Tom sighed. Imagining a ship full of Tuvok-educated young officers hurt his pride. He'd have to be just as busy as Tuvok.
"It might not be so bad," Chakotay mused, still sitting in the captain's chair. "A ship this small would normally not have families aboard. In the Alpha Quadrant, the captain and I would need to discuss reassignment if we wanted to have children. Here, we can take advantage of what we have. An Academy instructor in Mr. Tuvok, a Julliard-trained music teacher, a science teacher with the full knowledge of the Borg collective, a brilliant engineer, a doctor with the knowledge of thousands: these are some lucky children."
He winked at Tom. "I'm sure you can come up with something useful to contribute."
"Just give me time," Tom retorted. "I'm sure one of the little Janeways will end up a pilot."
Chakotay laughed and returned to his chair. "Be careful what I wish for?"
Tom whirled back to his readouts, chuckling a little himself. "More than one kid means you could end up with two Paris-trained shuttle jockeys."
"With my hair."
Four
"This doesn't taste right," the captain said apologetically. She handed B'Elanna her coffee and perched on the edge of her desk. "I'd try to fix it myself-"
B'Elanna took the metal coffee cup and sniffed the liquid inside. It smelt fine to her, but if the captain wanted her replicator checked, she'd get it checked. She looked at the surface of the dark liquid thoughtfully. "May I?"
"It's off," the captain insisted. She nodded twice and waved her hand in permission. She was done with the cup.
B'Elanna sniffed it again and took a sip. The hot, bitter liquid tasted fine to her but it was possible that Neelix's coffee had ruined her taste buds. "What kind was it supposed to be?"
"There's a blend I programmed in specially before we left Earth," the captain explained, following B'Elanna to the panel. She maintained a polite amount of distance, leaning on the edge of the desk and keeping her hands away. "Nicaraguan. It's very light and subtle."
"And has the most caffeine," B'Elanna added with a smirk. "Something Neelix would try to regulate if you went down to the mess hall for more."
"That obvious?" Janeway sighed, folding an arm over her chest and toying with her hair with her hand. "Is it the dark circles under my eyes or have I been snapping more than usual?"
B'Elanna's surprise loosened her grip on the panel of the replicator and it hit the carpet hard enough to bounce. "Sorry-"
"Are you all right?" Janeway's concern was instantaneous. She even reached for B'Elanna's hand, as if ready to check for an injury.
"Just dropped it," B'Elanna said, entirely surprised that her dropping the panel had brought such a softness to the captain's face. "I'm fine. Didn't even scuff the carpet."
"The carpet's self-cleaning," Janeway said, waving her hand lazily. "Sorry, Lieutenant, I think I'm a little jumpy today."
What was she supposed to ask? She couldn't comment on the dark circles the captain had been right to mention. It wasn't polite to tell one's captain that she obviously hadn't gotten enough sleep last night.
"I'm jumpy when I haven't slept," B'Elanna said tentatively. Was the captain going to watch the whole repair? She'd stopped being nervous about Janeway watching her years ago but for some reason, today was different. Janeway was watching her, not her hands in the replicator.
"I did try," Janeway said sheepishly. "I ended up lying there, listening to Chakotay breathing."
"He's very quiet when he sleeps," B'Elanna remembered, smiling into the open panel. "The first time we were out in the field for a few days I'd have to roll over and make sure he was still there."
"Oh I do that!" Janeway agreed, smiling brightly. "When the computer wakes us, I always have to check and see if he's still there or if he's beaten me to the shower."
B'Elanna pulled free the emitter coils. Everything else had checked out and she was going to have to re-polarise the damn things one by one.
The captain remained next to her, yawning a little behind her hand but maintaining her smile. "I'm paranoid, aren't I? There's absolutely nothing wrong with any of it. My replicator isn't trying to poison me."
Scanning the first coil, B'Elanna set it down with a shrug. "I have three more to scan, and I can take apart the molecular bonder as well if you like. It's been a slow day down in engineering and you deserve a real cup of coffee, don't you think?"
"That's a very sweet thing to say," Janeway said, patting B'Elanna's shoulder. Her hand stayed there, warm and affectionate.
B'Elanna didn't have a clue what to do about it. She must have stared for a few seconds before she smiled back. "If you're happy, we're all happy, Captain."
That brought a faint blush to the captain's face and B'Elanna's eyes widened. Maybe Tom was right and the captain just didn't know how to take a compliment. The last emitter coil checked out and B'Elanna dug into the replicator for the molecular bonder. The idea that it was even malfunctioning at all was a stretch, but she was willing to humour the captain. If anyone knew what her coffee was supposed to taste like, it was Janeway.
"What reason would I have not to be happy with a crew like this one?" Janeway said, patting B'Elanna's shoulder again. Her mother hadn't been this affectionate in ten years and Janeway had all but hugged her in the last five minutes.
"Everyone's worked so hard while we've been out here. I don't think any crew in the Alpha Quadrant performs their duties with more dedication."
"Thank you." B'Elanna blinked into the replicator cavity, using her work to hide her surprise. The captain made no secret of how proud she was of her crew, but she was rarely this effusive.
Sighing, she put the replicator panel back on with a shake of her head. "Everything checks out. Maybe it was a glitch."
"Maybe this thing really does hate me," Janeway teased, patting the replicator fondly. "Coffee, black, Janeway blend seventeen."
One cup appeared in the replicator and the fragrant aroma of coffee, a lighter, fruitier blend than Neelix usually came up with, filled the air.
Janeway handed it to B'Elanna first. "Well, have you wrought a miracle against my curse?"
That little smile of hers was something B'Elanna had only seen a handful of times. Part of her wanted to study it and just keep staring, but she had coffee to taste. Lifting the cup slowly, she took a sip and rolled it over her tongue. It was acidic, but just enough to be tart instead of biting. The initial sharpness faded away and ended in a mellow warmth. It was a lovely cup of coffee. Worth a replicator ration, easily.
"I just might have," B'Elanna said proudly, passing the cup to the captain.
The older woman took a greedy sip and then shook her head in complete confusion. "It tastes off to me, like it's muddy or I've left it sitting out too long."
B'Elanna took the coffee back and removed her tricorder from her engineering kit. She ran it quickly over the cup, then the replicator. "Nothing's wrong with either of them. Captain, I-"
Janeway's thoughts were a million kilometres away. She turned back to B'Elanna with a little shrug of resignation. "Scan me, please, B'Elanna."
B'Elanna did as she was told, running the tricorder over the captain's torso and watching as it assembled its readings. She'd done fairly well in her medical class at the Academy; she hadn't gone as far as Tom, but she'd had a little training. She knew how to read a tricorder.
"Oh," was all she managed to say.
The captain circled around the tricorder instead of taking it from B'Elanna's hands. When she didn't see it right away, B'Elanna indicated the notation on the bottom. A second life sign, faint and barely distinguishable from the captain's own. It could only be one thing and Naomi probably could have read it.
The captain reached for the tricorder with trembling hands. B'Elanna relinquished it. When Janeway's hands faltered completely, with a shocked sound of her own, she caught the tricorder and set it down on the desk. The captain's hands hung weakly in the air, then landed on her stomach. She slid one down and rested it on the black fabric of her uniform just below her waist.
"Oh," she echoed, blinking rapidly. Janeway's lips moved silently at first, then she found her voice. "I didn't know that."
B'Elanna put a hand on her shoulder, then steered the captain up the stairs into the seating area. Janeway put up no resistence; she even covered B'Elanna's hand with her own, then stole it away.
"Are you all right?" the engineer wondered. Janeway's fingers were a little cooler than her own and they clung tightly.
The older woman lowered her head, closing her eyes and taking B'Elanna's other hand. Her death grip was almost as much of a surprise as the tricorder.
"Chakotay wanted, I mean, we wanted- and I-"
"Take your time." Was that the right thing to say? What was she supposed to say? "Congratulations."
Janeway fought her tears but quickly lost. One of them trailed down her cheek and hung on her chin before falling to her lap. "Thank you."
"This is good news, Captain," B'Elanna stumbled, smiling as much as she could. Chakotay was going to be over the moon. Surely she could get Janeway to smile. "Your replicator's just fine."
"My replicator," Janeway repeated. Another tear escaped from her other eye and a third threatened to follow the first. "My replicator is-" she took a deep breath, then weakly began to giggle. "You're right. Oh, B'Elanna, I've blamed that thing for being broken all week. The things I've said to it have been just awful."
The captain smiling through tears was a victory B'Elanna would take. "You'll just have to apologise."
Janeway's smile grew even brighter, entirely erasing the dark circles she'd been worried about. "B'Elanna."
Then they were hugging. Harry hugged her occasionally, he got excited about things. Tom, of course, Chakotay when one of them really needed it, but the captain...When she put her mind to it, the captain hugged tighter than any of them.
Five
"She's going through transition," the Doctor explained with just a hint of agitation. "In layman's terms, her hormones are completely awry and her body is no longer responding how it was. Aside from her irritability and withdrawal, she's doing just fine medically. Keeping her supported and breathing slowly and regularly is most important."
Chakotay was a little pale, even for him. The hours of labour up to that point had been gruelling enough. Watching the captain's pain but being unable to help her had worn him thin. The Doctor patted him lightly on the back.
"It is not uncommon for the mother-to-be to have a special anger towards the father. I wouldn't take it personally, Commander. Lieutenant, if she'll listen to you, please remind the captain of her breathing."
B'Elanna steeled her stomach against the little, hissing, cries of pain that the captain wasn't holding back any longer. The contractions she'd been able to talk through in engineering had been replaced by ones the captain no longer seemed to be able to control. Holding her hands, stroking her hair and repeating the same encouragement over and over were things B'Elanna had never pictured herself doing. But here she was, pressing hard against the base of the captain's spine, hands against the thin fabric of the sickbay gown.
It was harder for Chakotay. His wife, who usually looked at him with such love in her eyes, was lost in an angry haze of agony. She hadn't asked for painkillers, and whenever the Doctor tried, she'd only seemed frustrated. B'Elanna thought she understood. Pain was one thing. The disconnected feeling that came from knowing pain was there and knowing it wasn't part of her reality was confusing. Maybe the pain was part of the process.
The captain wouldn't lie down, and the Doctor said that was all right. Standing up was better because it put gravity on her side. With her standing, or circling the biobed with slow, shuffling steps, the three of them orbited her. B'Elanna seemed to be the least intrusive, so she held out her hands. When the captain needed them, she grabbed them and held on like the tractor beam.
She could do that. She could try to keep the sweat out of Janeway's eyes and snap at her when she tried to hold her breath. Getting the poor captain to breathe at all was a nightmare, and a few particularly vicious sounding words B'Elanna's universal translator was too far away to translate made the Doctor raise his holographic eyebrows.
"If I were Vulcan, I might be blushing," he said dryly. His exam of the captain's belly earned him a batting hand. Chakotay held that one and whispered to calm her. The more determined fist Janeway made of her right hand nearly got the Doctor, and would have, if his reflexes weren't so quick.
B'Elanna chuckled a little bit as the Doctor backed away. "At least you're not exhausted, Captain," he muttered, finding the upside to it.
Chakotay was in charge of all the medical updates, and the Doctor was more than happy to keep filling him in. The captain no longer seemed to care if any of them were there. If Chakotay spoke at the wrong time, or got too close, she'd snap at him, but her battle was internal.
"I can't do this," the captain whispered, choking on the words. "Lana, I can't do this."
"You're doing great," B'Elanna replied, summoning a smile. "You nearly got the Doc that time."
For a split second, Janeway might have smiled; an hour ago she would have. Now the captain shook her head, gasping desperately for breath before the next contraction started. "I can't-"
Wrapping her arm around the captain's slender shoulders, B'Elanna held her steady as they leaned over the biobed. "You can. You really can. Breathe this time. It'll help. It'll hurt less."
"Lana," the captain's voice dropped in volume and rose in pitch. She sounded like a child, terrified of being alone in a storm. "Lana- I want my mom."
"Capt-" she started, but Chakotay shook his head in the corner of her vision. He stood behind her, keeping balancing pressure on the captain's spine. It was something about counteracting the position of the baby, but she'd been too distracted to listen much to the Doctor.
"Kathryn," he told her gently. "Call her Kathryn. She doesn't need to be the captain right now."
Being aware of the captain's first name and actually using it were two entirely different things. B'Elanna gently reminded her to breathe, repeating a familiar litany until the contraction ended and there was a moment of clarity.
She could do this. She'd been asked to do this. The captain- no, Kathryn the woman, was counting on her.
"Kathryn," B'Elanna said tentatively. The word sounded a hell of a lot less alien than it felt. "If she could be here, your mom would be. I'm sure she would."
With her eyes screwed shut, and her fingers balled into fists against the biobed, the captain took her word for it. "I thought-" the hitch in her voice grew sharper as the next contraction threatened- "I really thought she'd be here when I-" The words turned into a sob, and instead of letting her collapse back to the bed, B'Elanna pulled her in, holding her up on her own. Their faces were close and B'Elanna had never seen that kind of desperation in the captain's eyes.
"B'Elanna- Lana, I can't do this." The captain's voice was sharp and ragged in her roughened throat.
It was a plea and B'Elanna had to do something. There were tears in Chakotay's eyes when she looked back at him and he smiled encouragingly. "Tell her she'll be fine. Just keep telling her that."
"Commander, when she reaches ten centimetres-" and the Doctor drew him away.
"Kathryn, you're safe," B'Elanna ordered, trying to be firm but gentle. She didn't think she'd want her own mother when she had a child, but the captain was closer to hers. "You're all right. The baby's all right. Look at me. Breathe."
"No..." That ended in a wail and it took most of B'Elanna's strength to keep the captain from doubling up entirely.
Chakotay leaned close to make sure she heard him. "We need her up on the biobed so she can push. She's not that heavy, the Doctor and I can lift her up. Try and-"
"Get her to breathe," B'Elanna finished for him. She met the captain's exhausted blue eyes with her own and willed the other woman to focus on her. "Breathe, Kathryn."
"I can't-"
B'Elanna shook her head slowly. "I know you want your mother. I don't blame you. I'd want her to if I knew her. Kathryn, you can do this. You can. You can do anything. I've seen you. You're crazy." When B'Elanna chuckled, something broke in the captain.
She gasped, seeming surprised that her lungs worked. When she'd filled them a few times, part of her came back. "I'm sorry."
"You have no reason to be," B'Elanna promised her. "None at all." If anything, she was sorry she wasn't the captain's mother, and that she hadn't found a way to get them home so her mother could be there. Her heart ached for both of them, even though the captain's mother was a stranger light years away. She must be a beautiful person, for the captain to want her that much.
Slowly, the captain nodded. She relaxed then, letting Chakotay and the Doctor pull her up.
Chakotay was right. Even in labour, the three of them had no real trouble lifting the captain up to the biobed. Chakotay folded around her, keeping her legs up as the Doctor checked things on the biobed and made sure the captain's hips were right. It was one of the most intimate things B'Elanna had ever seen, and just being there she couldn't help feeling that she was intruding, that she didn't belong.
"If you'll assist me, Lieutenant," the Doctor called, drawing her attention. "I may need you to help catch the baby. Don't worry. I'll tell you exactly what to do."
The captain's hand fluttered feebly against B'Elanna's bare arm, drawing her attention better than anything else could have in the universe at that moment. With Chakotay's hands occupied, she took both of the captain's and stood next to the Doctor at the foot of the bed. The captain's hands were soaked with sweat and her grip was still desperately tight.
Behind the captain's head, the light on Chakotay's face made B'Elanna's heart ache all over again.
The Doctor looked up and nodded. "All right, Captain, we're going to push. Just like we talked about."
The captain hadn't heard him. She was whispering to Chakotay and trying to find her breath. "I think I was just dreadful-"
"You were," B'Elanna promised her with a wry smile. She squeezed the captain's hands in return, wishing she could share her own calm through the contact. Everything was going to be fine. "I didn't know you swore in Vulcan."
Six
"Does she still like it down there?" Chakotay asked, leaning over the railing to peer down at Tom and B'Elanna.
Looking up at him, she put a finger over her lips. She'd need to climb up from the bottom of the warp core. She gestured silently towards the ladder out and Tom nodded. He'd stay with the baby. Alice still had trouble falling asleep and remaining asleep. A lucky guess had proved the warp core soothing, and on desperate nights when Tom or B'Elanna volunteered for baby duty, they brought her down.
"Any chance of stealing her home?" Chakotay asked with a grin when B'Elanna had finally climbed up.
Her own pregnancy had made ladders a lot more complicated than they had once been. B'Elanna still wasn't sure how she felt about the eventual birth of her own daughter. Watching Chakotay and the captain balance theirs somehow did make it seem a little easier. She and Tom wouldn't need to rely on Voyager's exceptional corps of babysitters nearly as much as the command team did.
"She's out," B'Elanna reported with a grin. She hadn't known the joy of getting a baby to sleep before Alice, but having the time to practice now was going to help immensely. "Tom and I are fine watching her. Go home. Go to bed. Kiss your wife and...go to sleep early. We can bring her by in the morning."
Chakotay's grin when she paused was truly wicked. She couldn't imagine how little time they had for each other now that they had Voyager and a baby to look after. If they got a night together without interruption once a month, maybe that was worth a little celebration.
"Thank you," he said aloud. Everything else he might have said twinkled in his eyes. "I think the captain might thank you too."
That made her chuckle and she pointed at the double doors out of engineering. "Get out of here, Chakotay."
He gave her a last nod and left engineering.
With a sigh, B'Elanna tackled the ladder back down. Tom sat next to Alice's carrier, smiling down at her while she slept. His potential as a father was so much more than he would ever admit. He was funny, caring, intelligent and he knew how to nurture someone. He was going to be incredible.
He looked up at her eventually and she sighed when the peaceful expression left his face. Tom tilted his head, wondering what she was thinking. B'Elanna settled down next to him, sinking slowly to the floor, and rested her head on his shoulder.
He sank his fingers into her hair and leaned close. "I love you," he whispered over the thrum of the warp core.
She wound her fingers around his other hand and smiled. "I love you too."