Disclaimer: Do not own anything.

~~ Your Existence Is Our Connection ~~

~~ 13. September, Morning ~~

Ryoma had gotten scolded the day after his little walk in the middle of the night. The nurses threatened him to lock the door or bind him on his bed if he wouldn't stop doing it. The bare thought about chains on his wrists made him shiver and apologize. It had been two days now and Seiichi seemed to have finally calmed down, still, he was sulking and crying in his dreams.

Sometimes, only when his crush was deep asleep, Ryoma would bite his bottom lip, nibble on it and join the other teen under the blanket. He would rest his head on the chest, listen to the steady heartbeat of the broken heart, and stroke the chest with his fingertips. Seiichi calmed down by it, returned to his peaceful dreams and loosened his fisted hands. The bluenette had spoken to him yesterday afternoon, after a long time, and had joined him by his lunch. They hadn't had any contact to the others so far and it made him feel depressed, lonely. Somehow, he felt pitiful to be near the person he wanted to protect but couldn't.

Right at the moment, Ryoma listened once again to the heartbeat and enjoyed the feeling of the heat. He would glanced up from time to time to see if the older teen was really asleep. Soft fingers began to stroke his left hand, which rested on the chest, and painted carelessly some patterns on it. No matter how often he looked up, Ryoma couldn't avoid his eyes from Yukimura. He couldn't understand how someone could hurt such a gentle and beautiful person like Yukimura Seiichi. The teen grabbed the hand above his and held it tightly in his own, pulled it close to his face and poke it with his nose, he wasn't ready to kiss it, yet. The hand moved and touched his cheek, stayed there and lifted his face up to stare into amethyst eyes.

"Why are you doing this only when you think I'm asleep? Why not do it while I'm awake?" Ryoma yelped by the sudden voice and stumbled out of the bluenette's reach. Seiichi lifted his heavy body up with his elbows and looked at the surprised kitten. "Don't run... come back here, please." The teen wavered a bit from one side to the other, thought about the idea. "Ryoma, please."

The golden orbs softened by the gentle sound of his name and the youth decided to go back under the warm covers. Seiichi smiled and guided his lover's head up on his chest anew, exactly above his heart, and leaned his chin on the teen's head. "Why can you move? Shouldn't you feel pain by moving around so freely?"

"I'm used to pain, I barely feel any right now. How about you?" The emerald-haired teen pressed his body stronger against the bluenette's, inhaled the sweet scent and played unconsciously with the long, dark hair. Seiichi smiled in knowledge, copied the action and stroke Ryoma's messy hair. The first thing he would ask from his lovers was to get their kitten a new haircut.

"Better, I think." Seiichi frowned, stopped his hand by the strange bulge and touched it a few more times, wondering what it was. Ryoma glanced up and regretted it soon. Seiichi viewed at him with a questioning look and tried to guessed what the meaning of the large bulge on his head was. "It was an accident. I fell out of the window in my room to escape... don't matter what for."

"...your mother?" The older one asked and started to caress his warm cheek with his thumb. Ryoma leaned against his hand, purred quietly in his arms and pressed his whole body weight against the other body. It felt great to be spoiled by them, especially after such long time without any attention. It felt surreal as if he was in one of his sweet dreams. The kisses, the illness, the collar and the precious ring. A few weeks ago, he had promised himself to leave them alone and now... he was lying next to one of them, cuddling and talking in quietness, trying to comfort and persuade his new boyfriend to fight against the sickness in his body.

The touch on his cheek set him on ease and numbed the creature inside of him completely. He felt normal, like an ordinary teenager, even if he wasn't one. He had noticed the whisper, the hushed words, deep inside his mind from the creature within him. He had been angry, had shut everyone and everything out of his sight and had regretted it. The teen thanked Syusuke for the distraction, he wouldn't have managed to escape his train of thoughts without it. The whisper was a reminder for him to be careful with his negative feelings. Ryoma had no doubt, the creature would take every chance to take control.

"Ryoma?" Seiichi asked, wondered why his boyfriend frowned and didn't answer his question.

"Yeah, my mother." The youth replied after the long pause, enjoyed every second of their time together. How would it be to live with them? Would he still crave them so much? The bluenette moved his legs, tried to do so at least, and hissed by the agony and pain. Ryoma got worried, scanned his lover from head to toe. Seiichi stopped to try to move his legs after the second try. Sorrow flickered on the face of the beauty. It wasn't really satisfying for Ryoma to see the other giving up so quickly. It had made him furious a few days ago and he felt the same rage rise up once more. It wasn't the person who he had fallen in love with. Yukimura Seiichi would never give up without a fight. "You shouldn't give up, never. It's not like you to declare forfeit so easily."

"How do you know..." Seiichi stared at him in surprise, left the sentence unfinished.

"I had a lot of free time when I hadn't wanted to go back." Silence occurred and his own words sank in his brain. Ryoma panicked by his unplanned confession, his mind already in the emergency state. "I-I mean I have seen you play sometimes and some other students told me about you..."

Maybe he would buy the lie.

"How often had you watched me?"

"..." And Maybe he wouldn't. The bright blush on the teen's cheeks made Seiichi smile proudly. He had never noticed the kitten, had never thought of being watched from afar. It gave him lovely butterflies in his stomach and more self-confidence. Ryoma had loved him as the person he had been back then and he still loved him now with his doubts and mistakes. There was no blame or pressure in those golden eyes, no force or any other hidden meanings. However, there was one special question which bothered him. "Why us? Since when had you...?"

Why? It was indeed a good question and Ryoma had no answer for it. It had just happened, he had liked them from the start, wanted to know more about them and their tennis. It had soothed and calmed him down, whenever one of them was around. He had realized his obsession for their company soon enough. Ryoma had tried to lie to himself, said it was just because of their tennis and nothing else. The lie had shattered after he had heard about Seiichi's first breakdown because of the illness and the possibility for him to be unable to play tennis ever again.

His feelings for the other teen had grown all the more, not decreased like he had wished. His desire to be near him had increased highly to another level. It had taken him two weeks to get over the shock, to accept the new foreign feelings. Nonetheless, he was thankful for it. If he wouldn't have felt it, he wouldn't have found his dream, a dream he had dreamed every night and day till now. "I follow my instinct like I have done it all the past years. I know I can trust you, otherwise, you wouldn't be here next to me. Without my instinct I wouldn't have fought for so long, I wouldn't be alive anymore, I guess."

It was an unexpected answer but it was an honest one and it gave Seiichi more and more courage and steadiness. Trust. A person, who he believed had never noticed him, trusted and believed in him. He wanted to trust Ryoma, too. It would only be fair, giving his lover his trust and love. Still... "Ryoma, have you ever been in a situation where you thought everything you did was useless?"

The teen snorted loudly. Did the bluenette seriously mean it? The question must have been a joke, after all what Seiichi had seen and heard about him. "Giving up was never in my option, but I had such moments quite often. You should be able to remember at least two of them." Seiichi frowned, did as he was told and tried to remember. It didn't take long for him to get it.

"Back then at Inui's house, the incident with the pool and the picture." The youth nodded in agreement.

"You five were the last people I wanted to show my secret because every time I had showed it, the people were scared of me and acted violent. I thought you would react the same. I still wonder why you didn't."

"Then, where did you take the strength from?"

"..."

"Please tell me. Maybe it can give me strength as well?"

"..." They stared at one another before Ryoma dropped his gaze and blushed further. "I practiced tennis like crazy because it was the only connection I had to all of you. I had wanted to give up on tennis since the old man feared and hated me. I had continued to play because I met you. If I would have given in, every time somebody told me I would never be able to play again, I would have lost you." Seiichi understood the deep meaning behind it. Syusuke, Keigo, Kunimitsu, Genichirou and he were the necessary power for him and his dream. The only way to keep them close to him was to get their attention. The bluenette couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for Ryoma to be beside them without them realizing his suffer and struggle.

All the time, when they had laughed, kissed and smiled, Ryoma had seen it and it must have torn his heart in two. Guilt bothered him by the bare imagine. They had been so cruel. They must have been blind to not see his feelings while all their friends had seen them long ago. How long had his friends seen it? How could they apologize to him? There was an uncomfortable silence between them which stayed for a longer time. It was nearly midday when the older teen rose his voice.

"Will you promise me something if I try to walk and play tennis once more? If I fight honestly against the words of the doctors?" Ryoma peeked up, stared into bright amethyst orbs and waited for the other to continue. "If I manage to walk and play tennis again, will you tell us that you love us?"

Ryoma smiled and nodded. Seiichi understood his feelings and action, however, the youngest lover hadn't told them directly.

'We'll fight together, you're not alone.'

~~ 11. May, Late Morning ~~

Genichirou sighed deeply when his sweet dream faded away in a slow ministration. His eyes fluttered open and were greeted by the pure sunlight which shone through the large windows of their also large bedroom. He took in a refreshing breath and felt his muscles itch. He was in need to use them, so he stretched his arms and legs, only to find them unmovable while an annoyed groan froze his movement. Genichirou blinked and frowned. He knew this tone and sound, he had understood the meaning of it a few days after they made their relationship official and moved into their new home. The black-haired teen viewed below, looked into smiling blue eyes which greeted him. "Good morning, Gen."

"Morning, Syu." The smaller brunette in front of him smiled and kissed him before his blue orbs rested on their youngest lover once again. Syusuke had learned quickly to control his fear, nonetheless, all his boyfriends suggested him to continue to see a psychiatrist. There were still nightmares or scary thoughts, nevertheless, the brunette learned to trust them and would speak about his problems and fears, especially with Seiichi or Ryoma. Genichirou glanced around and by a closer look it seemed all his lovers were already awake and watched Ryoma who was still sleeping peacefully with his body stretched all over the bed. Somehow, Ryoma had managed from the first night on to move his body in such a construction that nobody of his lovers could leave the bed without waking him up roughly or bringing themselves pain. They laughed about it and would tease him later like always. Who would believe that Ryoma was clingy?

"His grip has gotten stronger." The black-haired male glanced to the bluenette whose long hair lay on the pillow and mostly in Ryoma's lightly fisted hand. "Perhaps we should forbid him to do any more sports before he gets stronger than we are."

"And risking his safety? Have you forgotten all the times he had gotten beaten up because he defended Syusuke from those guys from our former school?" Kunimitsu said, stroke a lock of dark hair out of the youth's face and received a delightful moan. His other four boyfriends looked at him with understanding. The third years had graduated in April* and let their kouhais step into their steps.

"He had helped me in school, though, there are still people who hate me for the rumour but most of them gave up after they had seen his unbreakable will to protect me. I can remember how he called all of you and fought against those guys when I was beaten up by them. He ended up pretty bad but smiled at me as if he was the happiest person on earth." Silence grew by the terrific memory. Nobody liked to remember it. Another week in the hospital.

"He helped all of us. He wasn't the only one who helped me to get out of my depressions, he had merely grabbed the first opportunity to reach out for me." Seiichi nestled his nose in the messy hair in front of him and kissed Kunimitsu, who lay behind him, on the cheek.

"He is worthy enough to be with Ore-sama." Syusuke's loud chuckle rang in their ears and they all joint in. The diva ran the fingertips of his right hand over the sensitive skin of Ryoma's lips and up to his eyelids, caressing them lightly. "Ryoma, it's time to wake up." The voice was gentle, no one other than his lovers would ever hear it. The called male stirred, changed his position and pulled them all closer to himself. They all gasped by the sudden change of closeness. Like always.

"You little devil." Syusuke laid right beside Ryoma, who slept in between him and Seiichi. He grinned with his closed eyes, lifted his body above the youngest youth. "Last warning, Ryoma. Wake up."
The voice was far too sweet, nonetheless, Ryoma hadn't heard it because he was a heavy sleeper. The youth's only reaction was a groan and with that he dug his own grave. The smaller brunette grinned like a Cheshire cat and began to tickle his little lover all over his body. Ryoma woke up abruptly from it and couldn't help but laugh from the tickling sensation. He gasped for air and tried to stop the person from torturing him, loosening his grip on his other lovers while his loud laughers echoed in the room. It was useless to stop the brunette, completely in vain.

"P-Please..haha..stop..I'm..hahaha..I'm awake..hahaha..Syu!" Another thing which changed. It took the five nearly two months to get him to call them by their first name and one more to have him call them with their nicknames. The hands stopped to thrill him, his laugher died down and the emerald-haired teen caught his breath. A sight his lovers loved to see, more than anything else. A reason for all their silly jokes and teases. His laugher sounded more natural now, not the rusty anymore. He wanted to hide himself by the memory of his first laugher because of them. They had stared at him as if he was crazy because it sounded so rough and horrible.

"Morning, Ryo-chan." Syusuke kissed him on the lips, after getting a hazy "Morning, Syu." and released him from his grip. They all gave him a kiss in the morning as a greeting, it had become a habit long ago, and helped him up on his feet. They slipped out of the bed, one after another, left the still tired Ryoma and a jelly-legged Seiichi sit on the bed's edge. The bluenette yawned and felt the weight next to him move. The following heavy feeling against his arm and shoulder told him that Ryoma leaned his head on him and took his three minutes before their lovers would drag them into the bathroom.

He sneaked his right arm around the smaller body and pulled him closer, petted the still messy hair. "I love you." Ryoma loved to hear those sweet words. It filled his heart with energy and hope, trust and believe in the thought about loving someone other. He had changed, had more courage and could act normal in their presence. Sometimes, it was still hard to tell them what he meant and felt but they tried to understand him. When they had a quarrel, they tried to do it not in front of him. The fright of bringing back the monster was too strong. They all had their own little secrets, however, it were small ones, like how Syusuke got the funny picture of Keigo as a dirty and very un-Keigo-like looking toddler.

"C'mon, let's get ready. Can you help me to walk?" The teen beside him nodded and yawned before he stood up and held out his hand. Seiichi took it gratefully and steadied his weight on Ryoma, manoeuvred his feet forward. It was hard for him to move without his wheelchair or other helping hands. It had taken him much more time to feel his legs than after the first collapse. Seiichi was at the very beginning of the painful road of recovery. It had taken him nearly four months to get out of the hospital. At least he had faithful lovers with him who helped him gladly - Kunimitsu and Genichirou spoiled him the most. The two went into the bathroom, showered and made themselves ready for Kaidoh's birthday party.

They all shook their heads when their diva walked into the large walk-in wardrobe. Keigo had a hard time to choose the right outfit for his gorgeous self, like ordinary. He found his precious purple outfit with the many violet ruffles on the arms and around the neck, pulled it out with a triumphal 'aha!' , only to freeze at the spot. There, on his beautiful outfit were long flaws all over the backside. Steam streamed out of his red head. "RYOMA!"

Ryoma slid inside his shirt and let Kunimitsu organize his short hair, so it wouldn't look too messy, all the while looking up. "What?" He snapped back and viewed at the raging diva. Keigo lifted up his magnificent, purple shirt and showed him the long flaws. The teen smirked. "Oh, Karupin must have heard us last night. I told you not to do that to me. He gets jealous very easily." The chatters from the others stopped, all ears and eyes on the two. Keigo symbolized the perfect image of 'the scream', copying his other lovers' form. Ryoma put on his black jacket and took one last look at the mirror. He ran his hand through his hair, made it a little bit messy as the hairstyle from Mitsu had been way too innocent for him. That is it, he thought and turned around to his lovers. "Well, I'm ready. What about you? ... What?"

"Ryoma, what exactly have you and Keigo done?" Syusuke's eyes were shut, a wide smile on his face - threatening him to tell anything wrong. Ryoma's smirk grew, his eyes narrowed and he angled his head a bit to the left. A very seducing sight for his boyfriends and he recognize the lusting orbs. "How about I show it to you tonight?" He walked out of their bedroom, left them in their frozen states. He loved to do that - leaving them surprised and shocked.

"Who of us had taught him how to seduce us?"

"I don't know, Kei, but it strangely suits him." They all nodded in agreement by Genichirou's words.

~~ 11. May, Afternoon ~~

The food and drinks were ready, the corridor and the living room had changed into a bright and flashing dancefloor and the first guests had already arrieved. Inui had tried to put his different Juices at the bar but his boyfriend and friends banned him out of the area and dropped the juices in the next trashcan. It was a sad sight for Inui. The music played loudly through the speakers and filled the room, their friends danced, drank and chatted with each other. Ryoma enjoyed the easy mood and the senseless talks with Momoshiro, Kaidoh, Kawamura and Eiji. He laughed by Kawamura's excuses and whines for not having seen or done anything against all the trouble they had survived.

Eiji had greeted him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, surprising the youth. His hyperactive senpai had become clingy to him, asked for his presence and talked only to him and Syusuke about his trouble with shy Oishi and his family. Their parents had apologize to them but asked them to stay away in favor of their workplaces. Eiji had cried in Oishi's and Syusuke's arm, Ryoma had bought him strawberry ice-cream which had worked a little to calm his friend. Ryoma grew used to the hugs and small kisses on his cheek. He had asked Eiji why he had become so clingy. The answer was simple: 'I like this Ryoma more than the one from the past. Your eyes are warm*², Ochibi.'

He had denied a huge and kiss from Eiji once and made his senpai sad and insecure. Eiji had looked like some heartbroken guy, the youth had no chance to resist his senpai, who had paid for all his burgers. Since then, he had allowed the redhead to hug him as he liked if he wouldn't suffocate from it.

Ryoma noted the rhythmic movement from Syusuke's legs under him. The brunette moved them to the beat of the music and watched the pairs on the dancefloor. Keigo and Genichirou were already in between all those couples and danced together sensually. Syusuke kissed and licked his neck, pushed himself closer to Ryoma and hushed in his right ear. "Wanna dance with me?" Ryoma smirked, lifted his body from the brunette's lap and turned quickly around, giving his lover no other chance as to kiss him back. "I take it as an yes."

Kunimitsu stayed with Seiichi off of the dancefloor, ate and chatted with Tachibana Kippei and Hiyoshi Wakashi. Ryoma and Syusuke reached Genichirou and Keigo, stepped in between them and followed their rhythm. The collar around Ryoma's neck and the ring on his finger reflected the moving lights above them and tempted Genichirou, who danced behind him, to grind deeper in between the teen's legs. The youth had never taken it off and would sometimes play with it by letting it clink through his fingers. Genichirou remembered the first time when Ryoma had heard the words, which were engraved in the little collar, by Momoshiro. He had been furious about it in the first minutes and shouted at him but he had calmed down after his talk with Keigo.

'Lovely Kitten'

Ryoma's hands drifted behind Genichirou's neck, steadied the younger teen and closed the already small distance. Some girls, friends from Tachibana An, chuckled and pulled Keigo away from them. The diva presented his gorgeous and majesty self, talking about his glory life and his lovers while the now three dancers remained on the dancefloor. The three continued to dance as long as possible before the youngest of them got dragged away by his best friend, Momoshiro.

He heard his boyfriends shout after him, nonetheless, Momoshiro led him further away and into the room with the large pool. They were alone in the quiet place, only the bass from next room echoed inside and made the water in the pool vibrate. The two sat down against the wall, next to each other. Ryoma watched his friend carefully from the corner of his eyes, waited patiently for him to start speaking. It was one of the seldom times when his best friend spoke seriously with him, talked about his problems or fears, whenever there was trouble nagging and forcing him into a corner.

The younger teen held his mouth shut, forced himself to listen clearly as apology for the attack a few months ago. He hadn't and would never forgive himself for attacking Momoshiro, he wanted to make it up. His pride wouldn't allow him to close his eyes and forget his mistake, to play blind and deaf. He wanted to help him even more because Momoshiro's parents had moved out of their house without glancing back to their son. His best friend had been left behind and Ryoma knew what it felt like. "Well... long time not seen." The spiky-haired teen stuttered, ran his hand across his short hair and glanced several times at his friend, not knowing how to start.

'We played a match a week ago.' The emerald-haired male wanted to say but all he did was smirking. It was hard enough for his friend, he didn't want to make it any harder.

"Well..." The spiky-haired teen rubbed his neck, laughing stupidly by his obvious lie. His laugher died down and the carefree mood disappeared. Momoshiro watched his friend how he stared at the clear water, seemed to be afraid of it. "Can you still hear it?"

"Hear what?"

"...It ...the thing inside of you."

"Sometimes but I hear merely some whispers, nothing to worry about." Momoshiro sighed in relief and laughed.

"How about the others? I saw Yukimura without his wheelchair and Fuji touched my shoulder without faking being friendly. They have improved since the last time."

"Mhm..." A short nod and an unbelievable beautiful smile. The older teen could feel and see the joy in his best friend's face. He dared to say his friend had changed the most from all of them. Ryoma was still an antisocial brat but he smiled, joked and laughed more often than before. The five had brought gentleness and trust out of the once cold and lonely teen.

"Eiji told me about your and Yukimura's promise. Have you really never told them you love them?" A light shook with the head. "Oh man, I don't have much knowledge about gay love but I know even they tell each other their feelings from time to time."

Ryoma smirked and directed his narrowed eyes at him. "You haven't told your crush you love her, either."

He was speechless, Momoshiro was horrified by it. How did the brat know he had a crush? "How the hell do you know that?"

"Kaidoh-senpai comes by and practice in our mansion, playing a match against me or Mitsu. He told us you had depressions and went out alone but returned with a girl. You had this stupid look on your face again."

"Damned Viper!"

The sound of the music changed from pop and rock to a slower beat for couples to dance closer. If his lovers were searching for him?

"Mhm... It won't take long anymore."

"Ryoma?" Momoshiro wanted to ask what the teen meant but the door spun open and a warm cry of "Ryoma!" filled the nearly empty, dark room. It was the right time but the wrong person. Kunimitsu's mother sprinted to them and pulled the younger youth into her arms, hugging him with all her heart. The emerald-haired teen liked her from the very first time he had seen her. The older woman treated him like her own son, cared for him and filled in the long missed role of a kind and lovely mother. Ryoma had been shy around her at their first meeting in her home. The shyness faded with every further meeting.

"My, my, you have gotten more beautiful since the last time we saw each other. Come with me, I want to give you your promised gift." She told him and helped him up. The spiky-haired male received a kiss on the forehead, grinned like an idiot by it but thanked her for her attention.

~~ 11. May, Late Night ~~

The party at Inui's house had been fun and had remembered him on the old Seigaku parties which they had held every time they had won a tournament. Only this time, there had been a few new members who he didn't expect to be there, for example Kunimitsu's mother, who loved to hug him - after she had heard about his horrible parents she wanted to take care of him -, and Kaidoh's father, whom Keigo had bought out of prison and who was currently searching for a job and visited his son regularly.

Keigo, Kunimitsu and Genichriou entered their bedroom, talked about the last event and made themselves ready for sleep - tomorrow would be Monday, another hard work day. The clinking sound of glass made them snap their heads to the window. The three viewed at a traumatized Ryoma who pointed with his finger outside in disbelief, the glass with water forgotten on the ground. His still small figure trembled and gaping sounds escaped out of his mouth. It had to be something big to leave their boyfriend in such a condition. Curious as a cat, they headed over to him and ended up in the same way.

Genichirou fainted from it, nobody noticed it, though, as their attention was frozen at the two tennis players on their private tennis court. The balls were easy to catch, just some simple throws, played to the opponent in a friendly way. Keigo laughed hysterically like a queen and covered his face behind his hands, tears leaked out under them. Kunimitsu took the form of a stone, copied its stillness. Ryoma returned to his senses first, only one thought in mind with a smirk on his lips.

'Seems like I need to make a confession today.'

'You can't punish me for being myself anymore because you're no longer the person I rely on. I have found my special one.'

The End

* Graduation day in Japan is likely in April. Correct me if I'm wrong.

*² Eiji had once told Keigo that Ryoma's eyes are cold and nobody could get too close to him because he would shut himself up. Read Chapter 10. Valuable Enough To Be Loved

I want to give a special thanks to:

Fairy5706green
MintLeafeon
Ayingott
animelover4ever69
Tezzino
Lord of the Plushies
InfiniteWhiplash
edwardphan4ever
X-Zefer
BellaLuz64
Ria Sakazaki
Pri-chan 1410
TheDarkestButterfly
amberstorm
ajas136
demoncat13

because they reviewed and helped me more than one time.
I also want to thank everyone who had favorite this story or me as an author or reviewed. I'm very grateful for that, believe me. I hope, I haven't disappointed you with the end and I would be happy to hear from you soon.

Thanks for reading till the end.