Lockdown

by Rizember

Summary: With everything accounted and provided for, rival authors, Sasuke Uchiha and Uzumaki Naruto are given three months on a not-so-private island to come up with a bestseller. Too bad they can't stand each other. Humor. SasuNaru

Beta'd by: [Unbeta'd]

A/N: My birthday today! 17/06/10

Chapter One: Business Merger

Disclaimer: Once again, my parents say I own nothing.

Sasuke Uchiha knew it was going to be a bad day.

According to the weather man, the sun had come up .26 seconds earlier than expected which meant that Sasuke, who always got up at the crack of dawn, had gotten up earlier too.

His body was not accustomed to those kinds of errors.

The bloody sun should be fired.

Sasuke nursed the coffee handed to him in the reception, giving the flushed receptionist a nod, and made his way to the elevator.

Standing by the elevator was a man with spiky dark hair that was tied back. He was leaning against the wall by the elevator with his eyes closed.

Sasuke stood and waited.

"What?"

The man opened his eyes and stifled a yawn. "What do you mean, 'what'?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Nara Shikamaru. Head of Publicity for Chidori Publishers… and Sasuke's friend.

Sasuke always wondered how the bum had gotten a job anyway. From what he could tell, Shikamaru had probably been too lazy to make it to the interviews. Not that he'd needed it. He'd had top grades in university and had probably had the job ready before he even graduated.

Shikamaru shoved himself lazily off the wall as the elevators doors opened.

They got in and stood at opposite ends.

"So…"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Shikamaru. He usually wasn't one for small talk.

"Have you read the papers today?"

"Another cat got stuck in a tree?"

Shika sighed.

It was true that Konoha was the safest city in the world with a crime rate almost in the negatives but Shika thought that was part of its charm. Sasuke, on the other hand, seemed to think the place was boring as hell and only stayed cause he knew if he left, his family would just track him down and bring him back.

The city had a no-nonsense mayor who was tough as nails and just as hard to bite through- whatever that meant.

Sarutobi was one of the world's most powerful men for reasons not known to Sasuke. He was a loaded old man with a strange sense of humor. Sasuke had met him when he was younger.

Apparently Sarutobi and his great uncle Madara's friendship went way back to sometime when fire had just been discovered.

"You should really read the papers."

Sasuke ignored Shikamaru and walked out the elevator as they reached their floor.

"What is it you want to tell me Shikamaru?"

"Well-"

"SASUKE! FINALLY!"

Sasuke blinked and Shikamaru took the large Styrofoam cup from his hands and took a sip as he walked away, deciding to leave the frozen Sasuke to his own devices. Hell, he'd tried.

Sasuke's mind was reeling.

In front of him was a very frustrated raven with long dark hair and even darker eyes.

What the bloody hell was his brother doing here?

"Sasuke… the meeting will begin in five minutes. Get your butt to the conference room now."

Sasuke shook his head and walked past his brother, "I already have a PA, Itachi but thanks for trying."

Itachi scowled at him, "You didn't read the papers."

Sasuke sighed, "What's in the papers anyway?"

Itachi smiled and Sasuke gulped as he was dragged to the conference room.

There, he nearly had a heart attack.

The heads of every department were present, as well as the CEO himself, the world famous pervert, Kakashi Hatake.

The shocker however, was that at the head of the table, was his father.

Fugaku Uchiha.

Shit.

Fugaku nodded at Sasuke and Sasuke sat down heavily by Itachi, who was looking amused as hell.

The meeting started with Kakashi going straight to the point.

"Morning people. I hope you all had well-sexed weekends-"

Sasuke noticed Fugaku look at Kakashi in exasperation.

"-because you'll all be having one helluva week. For those of you who don't read the morning paper, like Sasuke, our firm has merged with Rasengan Publishing and-" he paused for effect. "-was bought in a non-hostile take over by Uchiha corp. We will keep our respective names though. You will not lose your jobs so Kiba I'd appreciate it if you quit sweating at the table. That will be all. Any questions? Put your hand down Kiba. No questions? Good."

That wasn't even their strangest meeting.

As everyone filed out, Sasuke sat there, glaring at his father. Itachi sat by him, stifling a yawn.

The door shut with a final click and Sasuke hissed, "Why?"

Fugaku looked at him innocently, "Why what?"

"Why the hell did you buy this company?"

"I bought it for your mother."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Her birthday's next month."

"I don't encourage procrastination."

"Would roses and a card be too much to ask?"

"I didn't know you wanted any."

Itachi laughed as Sasuke scowled at his father.

"Look dad, you promised to let me do what I want, work where I want and make me join Uchiha Corp only after Itachi died of old age-" Sasuke grabbed Itachi's jaw. "-does he look like he's dying of old age?"

Itachi put on a puppy dog face and Fugaku smiled at his sons.

"I'm not making you join."

"No," Sasuke snorted. "You just found a way to get me closer to your watchful eye."

"I resent that. I have two watchful eyes, thankyou very much."

Saskue huffed in frustration.

"Shashke?"

"What?" he growled at Itachi.

"Cooyou leggo offmy feysh now?"

Sasuke let Itachi's face go and Fugaku stood.

"I'm letting you do what you love Sasuke. I'm also letting you know that this won't last forever. I wish it could…"

Sasuke didn't reply and watched his father leave.

Itachi stood and looked down at Sasuke.

"They love you, you know."

"They're supposed to."

" See you around, little brother," Itachi smirked. "And a word of advice… you really should read the papers."

As itachi walked out, Shikamaru came back in.

"Thanks for the coffee."

Sasuke stared thoughtfully at the table and said, " Apart from the merger and take over, is their anything else I should know about?"

Shikamaru shrugged, "Yes. But seeing as how we're in a soundproof room with no witnesses, it would not be in my best interests to tell you."

"Shika-"

"Hey asshole, I got a message for you."

Sasuke turned to the door and saw his PA, Tayuya, standing there.

"What?"

She smirked, "kakashi says to get your ass to his office immediately."

Tayuya turned to Shika, "I acknowledge your prescence and refrain from calling you a lazy good for nothing bum."

Shikamaru smirked, "I ignore your acknowledgemnt and maintain that you are a pompous bitch."

"Hey! We signed a bloody treaty!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and left the two arguing.

They'd been at each others' necks since Tayuya's first day. Shikamaru thought she was an extremely rude and unprofessional woman- which she was- and Tayuya thought Shikamaru was an extremely lazy and unprofessional man- once again, no argument there.

After three years of working together and throwing insults back and forth, Kakashi had called them both in and made them sign a 'I will be civil to *insert name here*' treaty.

It was obviously working splendidly.

While Sasuke enjoyed their verbal spars, he had no time for it today.

He listened to Kakashi and then scowled mightily at the pirate-wannabe's words, despising their implication.

"The idiot who writes fluff?"

"For an idiot, he's making an awful lot of money," Kakashi pointed out.

Sasuke scowled at that.

It was true.

Uzumaki had an entrancing style of writing that captured every feminine heart the world over.

Stuff that made Sasuke want to hurl.

He'd read only one book of Uzumaki's and it seemed like a regular cheap romance novel- but at five times the price.

"No."

"You have no choice in the matter. Contrary to popular belief, you do not live in a democracy. You'll join hands with Naruto, frolic through the flowers and find some semblance of balance between your angst and his sugar highs."

Sasuke frowned. "This won't work."

"Make it work…or I'll tell your mommy."

Sasuke paled. "I hate you."

Kakashi smiled and waved him off dismissively. "Yeah, yeah…off you go. Frolic away!"

Sasuke frolicked his middle finger in Kakashi's direction and left, feeling thoroughly put off and wondering if maybe he should become a fireman…Rescuing kitties didn't seem so bad.

(I am a political page break. I rule.)

Naruto yawned and lay his head down on the papers on the desk in front of him.

"I need those drool-free. Now get off my desk."

"No."

"Naruto…"

Naruto opened one eye and stared pleadingly at his best friend.

Gaara was having none of that.

"Go to your own office."

Naruto pouted, "Hey come on! It's far!"

"It's next door."

"Then you go there."

The next minute, people in the corridor were smirking as Naruto was rubbing his butt after being thrown from Gaara's office.

Gaara folded his arms, leaning against his door frame and smirked at Naruto.

Naruto lunged at him and thus began their weekly wrestling match.

The CEO, Jiraiya Sannin, walked in and sighed as Gaara was pinned.

His vice, Tsunade, held out her hand to him and he placed a fiver in it before shouting, "You'd better win Gaara…or Naruto's fired!"

Naruto blinked, "What?"

Gaara smirked and rolled them over, pinning Naruto.

The five was handed back to Jiraiya.

"Uh…guys…"

Everyone ignored the pink haired woman who was looking like she was wondering why she worked in a zoo, and continued to watch.

She sighed, "Mr Uchiha's here and he's on his way up."

Jiraiya and the others froze.

"Quick everyone, act professional!"

Gaara got up and helped Naruto off the carpeted floor.

Jiraiya and Tsunade made their way to the main conference room and motioned for Naruto and Gaara to follow.

Naruto's first thought when he entered the room and spotted Fugaku Uchiha was: "Must not piss in pants."

The man's eyes were hard and even though he looked at them pleasantly, he still made Naruto think of a panther…interesting to observe from a distance…a pretty large distance.

The meeting went by without a hitch.

Naruto wasn't particularly interested in the merger especially after hearing that nothing would change except the ownership. He'd read the papers that morning and the merger was the headline, with the rest of the pages going to which of Ms. Johnson's cats were rescued that week and other interesting tidbits.

When Fugaku left, Naruto yawned and stretched, making his way out when Jiraiya stopped him.

"Hold on kid."

The blonde sighed indulgently and turned. "Yeah?"

"Take a seat."

It was then that Naruto noticed everyone except Jiraiya, Tsunade and Gaara had aready walked out.

He dreaded what he had to hear. Well, at least he knew he couldn't get fired yet. He was a best selling author and enjoyed what he did. That aside, he didn't even need the money so really, the company was lucky to have him.

He listened as Jiraiya went into a long, drawn out explanation of how life and business work and how sometimes people have to do things they might not want to and-

"Get to the point, old man."

"You and Uchiha Sasuke will write a book together."

Naruto blinked. Obviously he hadn't heard right. "What?"

"You'll work with little Sasuke to produce a masterpiece."

"I'm sorry…what?"

Jiraiya decided to speak slowly. "You and the Uchiha are expected to write a novel together."

"What?"

Gaara sighed, "I think he's broken."

"No."

"Look, it's to signify the firm's affiliation to Uchiha corp… not the son, but the merger between Rasengan and Chidori."

"A publicity stunt." Naruto said dryly.

Jiraiya nodded sympathetically.

"That's all it is. And having the two best selling authors in the world write a book together will be a major achievement."

"How? Our writing styles are completely different."

"That's why it'll be perfect. You'll need to get synced."

"Oh joy."

"So… for the duration of the next three months, you, the Uchiha and your personal entourage will be living on Akatsuki."

"What?"

"One of the private islands owned by the Uchihas."

"And my entourage…?"

"Whoever you think will help with the book. It's like an all-expense paid vacation so…I won't mind if you don't pick me."

"Okay."

"Reverse psychology says you're supposed to plead with me to come."

Naruto yawned.

Jiraiya scowled, "Selfish bastard… Anyway, I assumed beforehand that you'd take Sakura and Gaara with you so I've already gotten them their tickets."

Gaara stilled, "Who said I wanted to go?"

"Me, now shut up. You'll have a few other people along for any other things you might need. I'm having Hinata go along as well. Her cousin Neji will be there to ensure everything's going right."

"Hyuugas are involved?" Gaara asked quietly.

"Well, they are the Uchiha's lawyers…and this is important."

"How secluded is the island?" Naruto asked suddenly.

"Not secluded enough for you to kill the Uchiha."

"Damn."

Naruto and Sasuke had never met but they had an on-going rivalry well known among the publishing circles.

It had all started when Naruto's first book had been published when he was sixteen. Sasuke had been asked about it and had stated: 'It seems that the world is now open to welcoming children's clichéd imaginations into our literary collections'.

Naruto had read the piece and immediately hated the arrogant bastard.

He'd tried his hardest to produce different pieces and because his writing was good, Jiraiya allowed him to divert from his signature fantasy and young adult novels. Under varying pennames, Naruto wrote horrors, thrillers, romances and whatever caught his fancy.

He was Rasengan's prized author and even though he was only recognized for the work he did under his own name, Naruto knew he was a great writer…and had vowed that one day, the Uchiha would recognize him as such.

That however, seemed like ages ago and now, even though he didn't particularly care what the rich bastard thought of him, he still had his books released the same day as Sasuke's and somehow, their book signings, movie releases and public events always coincided.

If Naruto could have his way, he'd have changed his birthday to further irk the Uchiha.

The day went by with the occasional Friday wars and pointless emails and porn sent by Jiraiya.

Naruto drove home and got ready for bed. He packed everything he'd need and wondered if maybe he should carry his gun…just in case.

He slept fitfully, knowing that somehow, somewhere, knowing fully well what he was doing…he had sold his soul to the devil…and it was crunchy.

(I am a spy page break. I didn't see you brush your teeth this morning.)

Naruto ignored the car honking outside, hoping its battery would die and he could poke his head out and laugh.

His phone rang and he cut it off and put it on silent.

The sun was up but there was no reason he had to be.

Suddenly, there was banging at his door and he cringed.

"Naruto! Wake up!"

Naruto groaned and got out of bed before Sakura could break his door down. He really liked his new door and past experience had taught him that Sakura wasn't merciful to pieces of wood.

He threw the door open and glared at her. "There's no free breakfast here. Go home."

She rolled her eyes. "Did you forget about the trip…about your job?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, I'm ignoring it."

"Do you want to get fired?"

He shrugged. "I have money."

Sakura walked in, dragging Naruto behind her as she led him back up the stairs and into his bathroom where she shoved him into the shower without letting him even take his clothes off.

Naruto stood in the shower as his clothes got soaked through by the warm water that was soon going to scorch.

He groaned and threw his wet clothes off, tossing them into the laundry basket for the maid to get.

He took a quick shower and got dressed before Sakura came in to help him with that too.

Outside, the car was still honking persistently and he shouted, "Is that a cab?"

Sakura came into his room and handed him a glass of orange juice. "It's Gaara. Come on, we got coffee and doughnuts, you can eat in the car."

She helped him with his bags and went outside and got in the car. Hinata opened the doors for them before taking her place in the passenger seat.

Gaara looked irritated and Naruto smiled sheepishly. "I overslept?"

"Uh huh…"

Gaara drove madly through the highway and Naruto spent most of the time balancing his coffee instead of drinking it.

They made it to the train station and Naruto sighed. "Why are we here again?"

No one else seemed to be around and Naruto seemed apprehensive about the nearly empty parking lot.

Gaara shrugged. "It's the Uchiha's station apparently. It'll take us to their airport and we get a jet to the island."

"You're well-informed," Naruto pointed out suspiciously.

"You would be too if you paid any attention."

"ADD man."

"Uh huh…"

They walked into the building, pulling their suitcases behind them.

They were the first ones there. The platform was completely empty even though the train was hissing and puffing, as if ready to get going with or without them.

They stood by it and waited patiently until a man popped his head out of a window. "I'll be right with you."

They nodded and waited. The man had brown hair and two triangular tattoos under his eyes.

He smiled pleasantly at them all and said, "No one else is here yet so I just got in. The conductor seems to have had Mexican last night and is presently occupied in stall three so I guess I'll help you with your bags."

He stepped forward and offered his hand to the blonde, "Hi, you're Naruto right?"

Naruto nodded.

"I'm Kiba. Sasuke's maidservant."

"Really?"

"Nah, the ass just thinks I am."

Naruto chuckled, "Okay… but he invited you here, didn't he?"

Kiba nodded, "He'll never admit it but he loves having me around."

Someone snorted and Naruto looked behind him to find two men with dark hair staring at them. The first had his hair styled like a pineapple had lazy brown eyes that seemed to be on the look-out for pillows. The second man-

Naruto found he couldn't look away when his eyes met dark, blank ones…

Kiba chuckled, "What's with the snort Uchiha? You in denial?"

The pale man rolled his eyes and sighed, "Not in your wildest dreams, dogboy."

Naruto watched them with amusement…and a twinge of excitement. The kind of excitement one would get right before they robbed their ex-wife's bank.

Naruto looked at the trio and smiled. They didn't seem normal at all. In fact, they kind of reminded him of his own workmates.

"Hello," Naruto smiled forcefully at Sasuke. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto."

Sasuke nodded and shook his hand, "Uchiha Sasuke."

Naruto looked at Sasuke and lied through his teeth. "Nice to meet you."

"Hn." Sasuke stated.

Gaara, Hinata and Sakura took that moment to let their bags drop loudly.

Hinata nodded at the others slightly, "Hinata Hyuuga. Nice to meet you."

Kiba, Shikamaru and Sasuke stared hard at her.

"Hyuuga?" Kiba asked in astonishment.

"Yes."

"You're related to Neji?"

Hinata nodded, "Is that a problem?"

Kiba burst out laughing while Shikamaru and Sasuke held back amused grins.

"No. Not at all."

Hinata sighed, "I guess he hasn't changed, huh?"

"No," Kiba managed, easing off his laughter.

"Hello," Sakura greeted, after a moment. "Haruno Sakura."

She shook Sasuke and Shikamaru's hands and kneed Kiba when he tried to get a hug instead.

Gaara sighed and helped Kiba up, "Gaara Subaku."

"Kiba Inuzuka," Kiba said in a high pitched voice, using Gaara as support. "And this is Nara Shikamaru."

"FUCK!"

"And that should be Tayuya."

Shikamaru groaned, "I thought you'd leave her behind."

Sasuke shrugged, "Kakashi likes to see you suffer. He ordered her to come."

They all watched as a young woman came streaming down the platform muttering curses.

"What's her problem?" Hinata asked, concerned.

"She's alive," Shikamaru answered darkly.

Gaara nodded, not really caring and proceeded to leave Kiba on Shikamaru, who promptly let him drop, before turning and getting onto the train.

Naruto smiled and moved onto the train after Gaara.

Sakura held back a chuckle and followed them on.

"Here."

Sasuke looked down at the handkerchief Shikamaru had handed him and raised an eyebrow questioningly at him.

"To wipe the drool," Shikamaru explained.

Sasuke scowled at him and got onto the train.

Naruto and Kiba were at a window seat, and were joined shortly by Tayuya, who seemed to get on perfectly with Kiba.

Shikamaru sat with Gaara who shot him a brief glance before settling back down.

"This'll be interesting," Shikamaru smirked.

Gaara nodded, looking worriedly at Naruto who was chatting animatedly with Kiba.

The Uchiha was sitting with Hinata, discussing something possibly mundane. Hinata may have joined the publishing company but she'd studied law. She was often threatening Jiraiya with lawsuits because of the many times he apparently accidentally gotten lost in the women's locker rooms.

Sakura was sitting alone, arguing with Kakashi and Jiraiya who'd just arrived to see them off.

Shikamaru watched Sasuke and noticed the many times his eyes drifted to the blonde…

Yeah…it would be very interesting.

A/N: Okay people, before you start with the whole "What fic are you even planning on finishing?" Lemme just say that I'm adorable and you shouldn't yell at me cause I'll cry.

I have plots ready for each of the fics and know how they're supposed to end and everything…it's the getting there that's the problem but as you've noticed, I've been updating them frequently (ish) and you should be proud of me dammit!