#17 Road to Recovery

A/N: Thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed! This is the last chapter. I hope you've all enjoyed this. So far, unsure whether there will be a sequel or not because I've got other projects on my mind. This chapter isn't all fluff and happiness…it contains darkish themes such as cutting, none of which I condone. However, the latter half is more light-hearted.

2259.32

U.S.S Enterprise

Despite Relda's cheerful attitude, Chekov could sense that there was something amiss. She had been dismissed from the medical bay – which she had been incredibly pleased about – but since she'd been allowed back to her own room, she had been mysterious and hadn't talked to Chekov a lot. After three days straight without speaking to her, Chekov was growing concerned. He knocked on her door.

"Relda?"

"Go away!" Her muffled voice sounded thick with tears and Chekov knew that her façade had broken once more. There was no denying Relda had been through a tough time. The only one who tried hard not to accept this was Relda herself.

Chekov was getting worried about her now. He opened the door and stepped inside. There was a shocked cry from the bathroom and shuffling around. Chekov marched over there, knowing instinctively that there was something Relda was hiding from him. She didn't have time to get rid of everything. Chekov froze in the doorway, seeing the spattered droplets of blood on the tiles. He swore in his native tongue and raked a hand through his hair.

"Why, Relda?"

She was curled in a ball, crying openly. He knelt down beside her, wishing she could have just talked to him about what had been going on. She looked up at him, her grey eyes still welling with tears. Now she realized what she'd done and she felt sick at herself. She was weak. She didn't want to look at Chekov.

"You must be so ashamed of me," she whispered.

Chekov couldn't believe Relda thought that. They'd all been through a horrible time as Jarred's prisoners, Relda more so than any of them. He leaned forward and gently brushed her tears from her face, looking into her eyes, showing her that he wasn't disgusted with her.

"Of course not. I just don't understand why you won't talk to me about it."

Relda pointed a finger at the scars on her face. Chekov noticed that her arms were stained with blood and his stomach lurched, not so much at the actual blood, but at the knowledge that Relda had done that to herself.

"I have to see these ugly scars every day in the mirror and it just makes me want to throw up. I'm going to have to live with those until the day I die. I just feel…I know I shouldn't hurt myself, but I feel it's the only way to relieve the tension that's been building up inside."

In truth, Chekov knew that Relda wasn't the only one. Rahnek had been distant of late, drinking more alcohol than was set by the regulations and Chekov suspected that he may also be nabbing some sleeping pills – and other drugs – from the medical bay. He knew this because Bones had been venting about missing medicines and Rahnek had mumbled some excuse and left.

"I think we should all have a talk about this."

Relda snorted. "What, with Bones?"

Chekov nodded seriously. "Yes."

"He's a doctor, not a psychologist! Not all problems can be solved by just sitting down and talking. Especially not these problems."

Chekov shrugged. "Maybe you're right. But…it might help. It wouldn't hurt to give it a go."

Relda examined him critically for a few moments, before she leaned forward and gently kissed him on the lips. That was one of the reasons she loved Chekov. He made her see the positives in every situation. She had to admit that he was right – Bones might be able to help. Besides, it was worth a shot.

"For you," she told him.

2259.33

U.S.S Enterprise

Rahnek, Relda and Chekov were all fidgeting uncomfortably. Relda hadn't known that Chekov had been experiencing issues as well. She felt a little hurt that he hadn't discussed it with her when he'd found out that she'd been cutting, but they were all going to talking now. Bones sat in front of them, a solemn expression on his face.

"So, Chekov," he glanced at the young navigator, "You called this meeting. You specified that you three have been having…difficulties coping with what happened to you. I can understand that. You all went through a really traumatic experience."

There was an awkward silence. Bones cleared his throat.

"What are these problems, then?"

Chekov's eyes were red-rimmed. "I don't want to get anyone into trouble, Doctor. It's just that…I have reason to believe that Rahnek has been over-indulging on the alcohol and taking drugs from the medicine cabinet."

Rahnek shot Chekov an angry look, but he didn't deny what had been said. Bones looked over at the young Vulcan. He knew Rahnek well and there was no accusation in his eyes. His young protégé had been through a tough time and like all of them, was attempting to find his own way to recover from what had happened.

"Is this true?"

Rahnek pursed his lips. "Yes."

Bones massaged his temples and sighed heavily. He liked these kids, honestly…he just didn't know why he'd got stuck with this job, of trying to sort them out.

"Which drugs?"

Rahnek's voice faltered. "The sleeping pills."

Bones just nodded. He felt like he was only half-awake. He should have seen this coming. He almost felt that it was his fault because he hadn't. Rahnek's jaw was working furiously.

"Why?" It was the only thing Bones could ask.

"Because…" Rahnek's voice was hoarse, "Because when I sleep, I let down my guard. When I sleep, the nightmares invade and I am helpless. But when I take the pills…it is deeper. There are no nightmares. There is nothing."

Bones doubted Rahnek was trying to kill himself. He thought the Vulcan didn't realize just how dangerous his method of coping was. There was something else in Rahnek's eyes, a glimmer of hope behind the melancholy feelings.

"Do you think perhaps it would have been best if you'd come to me for a prescription, Rahnek?" he demanded, hating the sharpness in his own voice, "Damn it. I could help you, all of you, but you refuse to let anyone else in! How are you going to deal with this? You aren't doing very well by yourselves."

Rahnek bowed his head.

"Lay off the alcohol as well," Bones commanded, "Do you want to be kicked out of Starfleet? Because I know this is hard to handle, but if Admiral Pike thinks you can't cope, then you damn well will be!"

He turned his attention to Relda. She didn't avoid his gaze as Rahnek had. Her grey eyes burned with defiance and she lifted her chin and took his glare.

"What about you?"

Relda hesitated, then rolled up the sleeves of her red shirt. Bones examined the small cuts on her arms with fascinated horror. He glanced at Relda, who had clenched her jaw and looked ready for what was coming.

"You did this to yourself?" Bones's voice was little more than a whisper. Relda had seemed the strongest mentally out of the three ensigns. He hadn't expected this from her. After a moment, she nodded miserably.

"I couldn't…I just wanted to stop the pain."

"By causing more?" Bones questioned furiously, "Relda, this has got to stop right now. I'm putting you on prescription medicine. You heard what I said to Rahnek about being kicked out of Starfleet. The same happens to you if I find out you're still doing this."

He knew he sounded harsh, but he needed to. These kids needed to take him seriously. Their wellbeing depended on them listening to what he said.

"Chekov?"

Relda turned to look at him. She expected Chekov to tell Bones that he was fine, that he was the only one of them who wasn't abusing himself. Then she realized how pale and gaunt he'd become and she guessed the truth for herself.

"I haven't really been eating."

Bones sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. "Relda, you're going to make sure he eats. Chekov, I know it's not easy, but you're going to get some food into your system, have you got that?"

Chekov nodded solemnly. Relda was hurt that he hadn't told her, that she'd confided in him but he hadn't returned that trust.

"Also." Bones's tone was quiet and somber. "We wanted to wait until you were all recovered. There's a memorial service for the others this afternoon."

2259.45

U.S.S Enterprise

The memorial for Benji Frank, Rocco Alton, Jed Bowden and London Miller had been a sad one, but Relda was adamant that it all stopped here. No more would she focus on the past, on what had happened to her and the others at Jarred's hands. She was going to brave now. She was going to be like she'd been before. So now she moved around the Enterprise with a grin on her face, determined to put the darkness behind her.

Valentine's Day. Much to Jim's disgust, Uhura and Relda (among other females) had been busy decorating the bridge with red and pink balloons and streamers. Jim looked revolted as he stepped in, listening to the music pumping from the DJ booth they'd managed to hire (they'd told Admiral Pike they were using individual funds and not the Starfleet budget).

"What the hell happened in here?"

Relda pressed a hand over her mouth to suppress a laugh. Clearly, Jim didn't like what had been done to his bridge. He frowned as he looked around him, but upon noticing the drinks table, he shrugged and headed over in that direction. Relda watched him with a smile, but it was really someone else she was looking for, someone who wasn't here yet.

"Relda!"

Her heart thumped hopefully, but when she turned around it was Rahnek she had turned to face. He was dressed formally like most of the others here, smiling like he hadn't in such a long time. She couldn't help but smile back.

"You look very nice," he told her sincerely. Relda gazed down at her sparkly red dress, which Uhura had convinced her to buy. She hoped Chekov would approve. "Better than I've seen you in a long time."

The scars on Relda's face refused to daunt her. She knew they would always be with her, so she used them like they were some kind of accessory. Tonight she painted candy pink glitter over them, so the JM stood out all the more.

"Thanks, Rahnek. You look great as well."

He noticed Relda craning her neck and knew who she was searching for. He offered her a wry smile.

"Chekov might be a bit late. I believe he is getting ready."

Relda nodded and forced a smile, wondering if Chekov would bother coming at all. She glanced around at everything that was going on. Many of the younger ensigns were crowding around the DJ booth or the drinks table. Jim was having a great time despite his initial disdain. Some couples were standing in the shadows making out. Relda couldn't help but smirk.

Across the room, a couple of ensigns in their early twenties were crutch racing. It had almost become a sport, but everyone knew that Relda Bennett had enough experience with crutches to be unbeatable.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder and she whirled around to see Chekov standing behind her. He was wearing a suit with a red tie and looking more formal than she'd ever seen him. She grinned at him and noticed his cheeks were flushed as if in embarrassment. From behind his back he drew a single red rose. Relda's eyes widened. She knew Chekov could be romantic when he wanted to be, but she hadn't expected this.

"Happy Valentine's Day."

She doubted he could go any redder so she took the rose and offered him a slightly coy smile. He was surprised. Relda, shy? Never. Now she felt a little bad because she hadn't got him anything.

"Thank you, Chekov."

"I just thought I'd get you something. I didn't want to make it over the top, but I hope…"

Relda grabbed him by the tie and pulled her towards him. Chekov looked surprised, but it wasn't exactly a displeased reaction. She grinned mischievously at him.

"You talk too much sometimes, boy genius. So shut up and kiss me."

She pulled him in by the tie so that his lips crashed into hers. It must have been amusing, her gripping him by the tie and him with an arm almost hesitantly around her waist. The crutch racing ensigns started hooting and cheering, one of them daring to shout, "Get a room!"

When they finally stopped kissing, they pulled apart to listen to the ensigns' good-natured mocking…but neither of them cared. Suddenly a light started flashing and Admiral Pike's image appeared on-screen. He looked a little confused.

"Captain Kirk, what's going on here?"

Jim stepped forward. "It's a party. Umm, about that…"

Admiral Pike looked half-despairing and half-amused as he shook his head slowly, observing the colourful decorations.

"Never mind that now. There's a colony on Juice, the fifth moon of Lepton, under attack. You're going to have to break up the party and head over there right now."

Jim nodded as the screen blanked again and Relda laughed, looking down at her clothing. She was going on a mission in a red party dress. This was going to turn out to be a very interesting mission indeed…

"Here we go again," Spock sighed as they realized that Sulu had left the parking brake on.