Disclaimer: Never have I ever owned Criminal Minds!

…

Crackle…white noise…. "Hello? Dammit…Hello?" More static. "Is this dumbass thing…Hello?"

The team eyed each other in obvious confusion. Whoever was on the other end of that speaker was clinically insane.

"Agents, it's Erin Strauss." Yup, insane. "Can you hear me?" She spoke as if talking to a three year old. Hotch was the first to respond.

"Yes, ma'am, we can hear you just fine. You can speak normally now." Morgan turned his bark of laughter into a minor coughing fit. He knew the cameras were now visible to Strauss. How long had she been watching them, and what the Hell was she doing in the BAU at three in the morning? Was the maintenance staff finally here? Oddly, Morgan felt a little crestfallen at the idea that they might be getting out.

"Oh, my apologies Agent Hotchner." She cleared her throat. "Well I think the only real question is-What the Hell have you gotten yourselves into this time, agents?" The team looked startled. Obviously, they had never come face to face with a sleep-deprived Erin Strauss.

"I beg your pardon, ma'am?" asked Emily, not quite sure how to respond.

"I can't leave you all alone for ten minutes without one of you blowing up, getting kidnapped, crashing a car…and now I have elevator concerns to add to that never-ceasing list. Pray tell, how did you exactly get stuck?"

Gideon actually looked amused throughout her tirade. "The elevator would have collapsed whether our team was in it or not, ma'am. It was inevitable. We were just the unfortunate souls to be caught in this mess, as it were."

"Why does that not surprise me…" she sighed, not really speaking to the team. "The next time I get a call at midnight claiming that one of my divisions is stuck inside the BAU or some other ridiculous scenario, I'm leaving them there until the morning."

Morgan bit back a sharp retort. They didn't ask her to come, so why was she complaining to them? They didn't need her on their case as well. "Is there some reason you are on the speaker, or are you just going to yell at us for something we couldn't control?"

"Watch your tone, Agent Morgan." Morgan rolled his eyes inconspicuously. "I am here to tell you that maintenance should be here in about three hours. So get cozy, although it seems as if you are already keeping yourselves entertained." A couple of the agents blushed, but the rest just stared into the monitor innocently. "I'll be at home, comfortable, and asleep." Reid frowned, annoyed. Now she was just being cruel.

"Oh, and one more thing," she said sharply. "Agent Hotchner…" Hotch cringed internally. "I will have you know that I bite worse than a cockroach, so you picked rather well, didn't you?" She hung up.

Hotch tried his best to appear nonchalant, but he gulped nonetheless. Fantastic, now he had the wrath of Erin Strauss to deal with when he got back to work. Prentiss looked over to Hotch apologetically. It was her question, after all.

"Actually, cockroaches rarely bite humans; only in overcrowded situations. However, they are known for crawling in ears and in fact, biting off eyebrows," said Reid, before shutting up when he saw his team's faces.

But that wasn't what JJ was thinking about. "Wait, she's been watching us since then? That was like, at least half an hour ago…" The team shuddered at the thought of all that Erin Strauss had heard, and Reid cringed at the thought of all he had said since then.

"Who knows, maybe Murray told her about that one, or something," said Penelope hopefully. The team just shrugged it off. It would do no good to worry about that now.

There was an awkward pause. Emily spoke up. "So where were we?"

"Oh! Oh, oh, oh, it was me!" grinned Garcia, raising her hand like a school student. "And I chooooooooose….. JJ! Okay, so would you rather be a pro-soccer player or a TV actress?"

JJ giggled lightly. "Where did that one come from?"

"Well, I know you played soccer, and obviously you were almighty at it, and you pretty much are a TV actress now, so….?" urged Garcia.

"Well…if you're asking me whether I would want to play soccer over my job at the BAU, then obviously my job. But if you mean an actual TV actress…I'd have to say a soccer player," said JJ, nodding matter of factly.

"And why is that?"

"Ug, I don't know, you always hear about these diva actresses and all that crap. I could never do it. I'd be a horrible actress. Soccer, I know I can handle. Although, I've always wanted to be on a crime show…"

"Newsflash, Sweetheart," said Penelope. "We live in a crime show, pretty much. Just take a look around you."

"True, but it would be nice to know it's fake, you know?"

"True that," agreed Emily with a nod.

"Okay, my turn." JJ eyed the crowd. "Well, since we are on the topic of jobs…Hotch, would you rather be a lawyer, like your old job, or a profiler?"

Hotch only raised an eyebrow before answering quickly, "A profiler. I could never go back to working as a prosecutor. I'm never going to work in politics again."

"Oh, truer words were never spoken," sighed Prentiss happily. The whole team knew of her loathing of all things involving politics. Hotch turned to Prentiss.

It was her turn.

…

Author's Note:

Ok, so I apologize for the ridiculously long gap between updates. School is currently eating me alive, starting with my brain. For that, I'm truly sorry.

Secondly, what do want Prentiss to be asked?

With love, MissdaVinci77