You, my friend, have just purchased an Left 4 Dead character. You must have saved up numerous pennies and done tons of chores. Congradulations. You may pat yourself on the back.

You have purchased - LOUIS

1. Puh-puh-puh PEELZ HEER!

2. Make sure you have plenty of the above statement for your LOUIS.

3. Your LOUIS does not get along with the FRANCIS model. Please be sure to keep these two seperated.

4. Your LOUIS likes to play CounterStrike. ("Hey, this is JUST like CounterStrike!")

5. Your LOUIS gets along well with the ELLIS model, seeing how they both seem to shit rainbows even though its pretty much the end of the human race...

6. Your LOUIS is a team-killing-fucktard. Always ALWAYS watch your back, for you never know when he might turn on you.

7. Your LOUIS might become dillusional and hallucinate that things are poppig out of the shadows and zombies are walking around. Disreguard his behaviour, as this is a natural side-effect of taking too many PEELZ!

8. Your LOUIS may sense peelz, your LOUIS may smell peelz...hell...your LOUIS may even see peelz! But...THERE ARE NO PEELZ!

9. No, adrenaline IS NOT a substitute for peelz. This will only anger your LOUIS and make him turn into a Grue and eat you.

10. Grabbin' PEELZ! Gr-Gr-Grabbin' PEELZ!

Extension Packs for - LOUIS

PEELZ extension pack (Results in hallucinations, illusions, and Louis sniffing around you're house for EVEN MOAR PEELZ!)

The ISTFGTAPAHS (I-Swear-To-Fucking-God-There-Are-Peelz-Around-Here-Somewhere) Extension pack (self explanatory)

The ELLIS-CLONE extension pack (will result in a overly cheerful, optimistic LOUIS, even though you guys are probably completely fucked)

FAQ for - LOUIS

Q My LOUIS is on the ground on all fours sniffing like a dog. I asked him what he's doing, but he just keeps telling me that he's sniffing for witches and shit. Um...help?
A He's lying to you. He's actually sniffing for MOAR PEELZ! But for your sake, pretend you don't even notice. This way, he won't murder you in your sleep tonight.

Q My LOUIS won't stop playing CounterStrike and I wanna play L4D already! How do I make him give me a turn?
A Just explain to him that his life and creation is nothing but a lie made up by VALVe and that his existence in this world has absolutely no meaning whatsover. That'll make him give you a turn.

Q My LOUIS won't get along with my FRANCIS and I just want them to-
A Refer to FRANCIS manual guy FAQ. This question was already answered. (Pshhh, fangirls...)

Q My LOUIS is depressed and won't talk to me about anything. He won't come out of his room and he won't eat...what's wrong with him?
A Has he had his daily does of PEELZ yet? If not, we advise supplying him with a bottle...or 2...hundred. Oh well! See you in Peelz Heaven, bitch!

Left 4 Dead belongs to VALVe

All REAL tweeks and questions about the game go to VALVe

This is a parody. Nothing more.

OTHER CHARACTERS IN THE SERIES

NICK

ROCHELLE

COACH

ZOEY

BILL

LOUIS

FRANCIS

KEITH

HUNTER

WITCH

And many more to come! Keep an eye out for others!