And now, loyal Metalheads, here is the final instalment of the Yoshi's Dairy sub story. I won't bore you with long ramblings of mine, so just sit back and enjoy the finale!
Disclaimer; Remember, neither Alex nor I own Bleach, any of the songs or bands you might recognize, or a single hint of Twilight ANYTHING. However, Alex does own the lyrics to all the Soul Reaper songs, and I own Yoshi, the rest of MyDeathYourDeath, and their lyrics.
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One day later…
After many looong months MyDeathYourDeath* finally advanced to the next ring! And it was such an easy one too! Resist the compulsion to indulge one's self in edible foodstuffs? Please! We had that one in the bag from day one!
OK, maybe it did go quite like that, but was still the easiest challenge we've had so far.
It all started a day or so after the kick ass concert I (and Kaylee-chan) did with Soul Reaper*. As MyDeathYourDeath* was leaving the hospital Stan-sama came up to us and told us about what the next trial was. It was kind of weird that the next trial would involve Gluttony just as we were going out for a bite to eat, but we figured what the hey; might as well get one last good meal in, right? Anyways, we made way to some place called the "Dimmu Burger" (Heh heh, it's a pun!) and went inside.
I nearly ran back out right then and there.
I should probably explain why that is, huh? Well, ever since I was just a little Chibi-Yoshi I've pretty much been scared to death of the occult; I remember one Halloween it was so bad that I had a minor heart attack. (True story.) I was in the hospital for two weeks after that, and I didn't even get any candy out of the deal!
DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT CANDY IS TO A SIX YEAR OLD?
I mention all this because staring right at me as I entered the door was the scariest clown I'd ever seen. (Not that I'm normally scared of clowns, but this one was above and beyond the normal creepy level.) It was like Gene Simmons of KISS, only a MILLION times freakier.
And his eyes were following me.
And I felt a cold breeze tickle my neck.
And I could swear I heard it laughing.
That was strike one.
After Nicki pulled me the rest of the way in we ordered our food and found seats. I gotta say though, some of the menu items were kinda strange; Blood Burgers, Bone fries, and Virgin Milk Shakes, just to name a few. While we were waiting for our food I felt the…um, "call of nature", and went to find the little girl's room. Unfortunately there was only the "gender: neutral" restroom.
And to make it worse there was this sketchy looking guy standing outside of it. (He was just staring wide eyed into space, like the mysteries of life would suddenly be answered if he stared at the ceiling for long enough.) He asked me in this really unnerving voice if I wanted to follow him into the cubicle, with an even more unnerving smile plastered on his face.
Yeah, sooo not going to happen. (For the record, that was Strike 2.)
After I promptly kicked his testicles into his tear ducts I headed back to the table to see if the food had some yet. As I passed by the counter I happen to glance into the kitchen; inside someone was slaughtering a goat on top of a pagan alter.
That was strike three.
I hurried towards the guys told them what I saw in the kitchen, just as they were taking a bite of their food.
We're all currently in our bed with a bad case of food poisoning. (The weird thing is I didn't even eat anything!)
Somehow, I don't think this trial is going to give us much trouble at all…
Five days later…
Well, we're all over the food poisoning now!
ONTO THE NEXT TRIAL!
Sorry about that, I'm just so excited to be doing something again after so much bed rest! I practically died (slight exaggeration) waiting to advance from the lust circle; I think I might be getting a complex about this.
I'm actually writing this entry about half a day after the events happened, but more on that later.
Why don't I just pick up where I left off last time, 'K?
After the whole "Dimmu Burger Fiasco" Stan-sama came and told us we could move to the next circle as soon as we recovered.
Five days later we were standing in front of a door with a mean, burly looking bouncer next to it. (Stan-sama explained earlier that we would have to get past this trial without losing our tempers.) We actually ended up having to go through close to 1300 bouncers, so instead of detailing the entire freaking experience, (since we'd here from now until the cows came home if I did that), I'll just give you some of the more interesting highlights.
For example…
#1. I had to work a bit of my feminine magic to get us past.
#2. This one was a chick, so Chester-kun worked his magic.
#7. Rod-kun used the old "Hey look, a distraction!" trick.
#27 Nicki beat this one up.
#37. Kaylee-chan beat this one up.
#52. Beat this one in a children's card game.
#98. Stunned with my Super Kawaii Desu Moe powers.
#128. Read the first chapter of Moby Dick to him.
#236. Showed him the hair of the Yu-Gi-Oh!; ZEXAL protagonist.
#341. Dazzled by Chester-kun's fabulous locks. (Seriously, he brought his collection of old locks with him.)
#419. Clubbed over the head.
#594. Stumped with a philosophical conundrum.
#663. Spoiled the ending of the Harry Potter books.
#785. Lost in a Scooby-Doo like door chase.
#872. Defeated by Kaylee-chan in an arm wrestling contest. (That girl is seriously beast!)
#957. Blew away by one of Rod-kun's bestial roars.
And finally…
#1274. Glared at him until he broke down sobbing like a little girl.
All this happened in an hour, mind you.
Does my life have weird shit in it or what?
Anyways, we walked through the final door and found ourselves standing in front of a huge, rusty, wrought iron gate. (Kind of like the one from the first day. Man, that feels like forever ago!) They slowly creaked open, revealing a charred, broken field with dead trees, murders of crows that numbered in the thousands, and by the gate a dead skeleton with what looked like bite marks on the bones.
I've mentioned how much Halloween type stuff scares the shit out of me, right? Well, this massive sensory overload standing before me was pretty much more than my poor nerves could take.
I fainted.
When I eventually woke up I saw the whole gang standing over me. Stan-sama was there too, looking genuinely concerned. He pulled me aside and told me that if I didn't want to stay here then I could leave with him right now.
Hmm, stay in this creepy, lifeless bastion of evil when I could skip this whole ring and wait it out comfortably on the other side?
Hells to the fuck NO.
I ran to his limo and jumped in the back as fast as I could, finally letting out a relieved sigh as all the horror and icky black stuff were finally cut off from my vision. A moment later Stan-sama hopped in next to me and began to where we were going. Apparently we're headed to the final stage to get ready for Ichigo and the rest of Soul Reaper* when they make it there.
You know, that's all well and good, but isn't it a bit presumptuous to just automatically assume that they're going to make it there. Not that I don't have confidence in them or anything, but they're not invincible or anything.
Anyways, it's been three hours since I got in the limo, and we still haven't gotten to wherever it is we're going yet! If we don't stop somewhere soon I think I might just flip out on-
Oh shit.
Now I have to pee.
Some time later…
Stardate; …Aw what's the use anymore! I don't know how freaking long I've been in this place! It's just some underground complex without any windows, boring as freaking hell.
You know what? I'mma go talk to Stan-sama, see if I can't get some goddamn DVDs or something in here….
30 minutes later…
Wow, after what I learned I don't think I'll ever look at things the same way again. I went to Stan (I'm not using "Sama" for him now, you'll see why later.) to ask if I could have something to pass the time with, only to find him waiting for me again. After bidding me to sit he dropped the bomb on me.
When Ichigo arrives I was supposed to kill him.
This is my brain before hearing the above information: 0
This is my brain after hearing the above information: _
I've been pretty much in a daze since then, but writing it all out is helping me get my thoughts straight. It's bringing a lot of things into focus.
Like how I could never do anything bad to Ichigo no matter what the reason or reward.
When I told Stan-baka this (Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?), he got mad. And I don't just mean a little miffed.
I mean tripping fucking balls angry, so angry that you could feel it.
And I did. I felt it so much that I could hardly breathe, let alone stand up. Even a minute after he left I still couldn't breathe properly. In fact, it was only a moment after I started writing this entry that I was able to breathe without shuddering.
Come to think of it, I haven't heard much of Stan after that little episode of his before. Not even so much as a scream of rage!
Wait, I stand corrected; I just heard a rumble or something coming from somewhere. I'm gonna go check it out.
One week later…
Do you remember the aftermath of 9/11? How there was this cat or something that survived and was found days later under the rubble? Can you imagine how relieved and overjoyed the owners of said cat must have been to get it back?
Because that's exactly how I felt when they found you, Diary! From what I've heard, a lot of Hades is now in ruins, and one little diary isn't really on everyone's priority list right now; what with trying to help the rest of the survivors. If I remember Rod-kun right, he just happened to stumble over it after they took me to a hospital.
You know what? I probably just said a lot of stuff that made no sense whatsoever to you right now, didn't I? Well, let me explain…
After I ran out of the room I was staying in I pretty much lost my way almost immediately. (D'oh!) =( However, that turned into a happy accident when I suddenly burst into a room that had Ichigo's family in it. (Before you ask, I learned about them from Kaylee-chan.) They looked in really bad shape, so I told them to follow me. After a few more random twists and turns we came across a sign that said "Motor Pool" and an arrow pointing down the hall. I told them to go on without me, and after a few weak protests they relented and headed off to find a getaway vehicle.
After I left them I eventually found my way out into the open only to be met what I can describe as the most freaking, most amazing, most METAL thing I've ever laid my eyes on; Ichigo was decked out in this super cool, modern, hipster Samurai getup, (which made him look about a billion times hotter than usual!), about to bring some wicked looking black sword down on Stan for the finishing blow.
Now I've totally lost any and all sympathy I had for that devil, (He he, Guns & Roses…), but after having witnessed just a fraction (I'm sure) of his power earlier I couldn't let Ichigo just be slaughtered needlessly! I steeled what little courage I had and lunged towards the two biggest idiots in my life, screaming for Ichigo to stop.
I don't really remember much of what happened after that, just a lot of vague images and disconnected words. Ichigo's face appeared a lot too. If I was going to die, I'd have to say that this is one of the better ways I can think to go; looking into the eyes of your not-so-secret uber crush.
Eventually, I lost consciousness…
Only to wake up suddenly in a hospital bed, covered in bandages.
Man, now I know how Ichigo must feel… But seriously, it felt weird being the patient instead of the doctor.
Speaking of which, where was the hot bastard anyway?
Oh god, he didn't…
Just then the rest of the band burst in, shouting "HEY YOSHI!" and scaring the living bejesus out of me. When my eyes finally retracted properly back into their sockets I began asking question after question about what happened while I was out.
First of all after I left the band had to compose and perform a black metal song. (They played a recording for me, it sounded pretty good.) Stan said they passed and that they didn't have to face the Minotaur. (Seriously? I thought those things were fairy tales, like leprechauns, blonde Asians, and straight men that watch Sex and the City.) In the next circle they apparently had to battle against a bunch of haters who didn't like Metal. They didn't really talk about that one much, so I took the hint not to pry.
In the eighth circle the theme was 'jealousy', and they had to put on a tribute show against another band. They played a Metallica show, doing songs like "Dyer's Eve", "For Whom the Bell Tolls", "Fuel", "King Nothing", and the "Mercyful Fate" medley.
Lucky bastards…
Although on a slightly sad note, they just finished their set when the Wave of Destruction swept over most of Hades. The way my band described it was like a Might Roar of Pure Metal followed by Great Balls of Fire raining from the sky. Fortunately, escaped with just a few minor cuts and bruises. (The other is still in intensive care, so I guess MyDeathyourDeath* won that one by default.) When the smoke had cleared enough and the fire died down they immediately rushed towards the epicentre out of concern for me. (Aw!~) When they got there they ran into a battered and bruised (but none the worse for wear) Soul Reaper* and found me in the rubble. (FYI, Ichigo didn't die!)
Which pretty much brings me back to the present. The rest of the band has fallen asleep around me, and I probably should too; I wouldn't be a very good doctor if I didn't follow the advice I gave my patients, would I?
The next day…
Soul Reaper* came to visit!
SQUEEE!~
Yeah, I know, you've probably gotten really tired of hearing me fangasm every time I mention those guys, but I can't help it! I've just gotten to know these guys in the last few months; they feel like sort of an extended family.
Anyways, I finally apologized to Rukia for cheating with her husband. I don't know if it was because of my current condition, her actually believing me, or something else that happened to her but she actually forgave me! I practically tackled her in a hug of gratitude (well, as much as I could being confined to a hospital bed…) when I noticed something rather disturbing.
I couldn't move my entire right arm.
I called for a doctor, and when he finally got here he told me that I had been found with a really bad gash across my torso. It had apparently wreaked havoc with my nervous system, and thus I would have to get used to being a lefty.
But that wasn't even the worst part!
At least for the foreseeable future, I wouldn't be able to play guitar ever again.
It. Sucked. Hippo. BALLS!
I probably would have committed seppuku right then and there if Soul Reaper*, my band, and the doctor weren't there to talk me out of it. Ichigo gave one of his famous motivational speeches, and my guys said they'd kill me themselves if I ever tried to pull a stunt like that again. (Hey, wait a second…)
With my very brief phase of manic depression over with we spent the rest of the day hanging out and listening to our favourite Metal band. Since I was the worst off everyone unanimously agreed that I got to pick the first songs. Metallica obviously came first, with selections like "Fade to Black" and "One" (because I felt like messing with everyone a little), and classics like "Creeping Death", "No Leaf Clover", "Battery", and "Enter Sandman". Others I picked were "Forever in your Hands" by All That Remains (just to be ironic), "Under Black Flags We Sail" by Destruction of a Rose, "Bodies" by Drowning Pool, "Indestructible" by Disturbed, "Descending Upon Us" and "This Is the Line" by Demon Hunter, "I'm Broken" by Pantera (again, to be ironic), and "Failure" by War of Ages.
Eventually everyone left I was alone again. I thought a lot about what all my friends (and the doctor) said, and I decided not to give up! When I get out of this hospital I'm going to live life to the fullest, and keep promoting Metal wherever I go! (That and try to finish up medical school…)
Four months later…
I think, *sniffles*…I think I'm going to cry!
SOUL REAPER* IS BREAKING UP! WAAAH! (Among other reasons…)
I was just watching the press conference on TV with the rest of MyDeathYourDeath*. They didn't really elaborate too much on why they were breaking up, but I suppose everyone has their secrets.
What was kind of weird was that I didn't see Grimmjow anywhere. Knowing him, he was probably holed up in a port-a-potty somewhere after drinking too much light beer.
I was about to tell Kaylee-chan to change the channel when Renji announced that he was going to play a special tribute the guys had organized just for me!
I pretty much broke down into pathetic, weeping sobs of joy after that.
Once I composed myself I asked everyone if they could do me one favour. They said yes.
So congratulations me; I get to do vocals on the new song they wrote for the sixth ring! Of course I made a few changes, but since I didn't them complaining I guess my changes were for the better.
Another bit of good news I got that day was the knowledge that all the proceeds from said concert were getting donated to a fund dedicated to nervous system research, so some day I might get the use of my arm back!
SQUEEE! (You all knew that was coming.)
Anyways, I've got a physical therapy session to get to now, so I'm going to stop writing for now. And who knows? Maybe when they finally let me out of this place for good I can swing by Karakura town and visit Ichigo, Rukia, and their family. (Kaylee-chan, do you really have to ask?)
Taped below is a copy of the lyrics for the new song I mentioned. It's fully dedicated to Rukia, as an apology and a belated wedding present.
The lyrics for "Angel with Demon Wings" (SCREAMING (Rod), melodic (Yoshi), BOTH)
*full band intro*
ALL NIGHT LONG, IN MY HEAD,
TWISTING ALL MY THOUGTS!
DRIPPING BLOOD FROM GAPING WOUNDS
THIS CORPSE MY HANDS HAVE MADE!
LAUGHING AT MY SUFFERING,
YOU WILL NOT GO AWAY!
TAKE IT ALL AWAY FROM ME
THE CORPSES I HAVE MADE!
Bring the knife up to my back
And CUT INTO MY SKIIIN!
This curse, I can't escape from it
ANGEL WITH DEMON WIIINGS! (2X)
*guitar bridge*
BODIES ALL AROUND MY FEET
I ONCE KNEW ALL THEM WELL!
INNOSENSE I NEVER KNEW
THE CORPSES I HAVE MADE!
LAST WAY OUT MY ONLY HOPE
I'M SENDING YOU TO HELL!
STANDING O'ER YOU LAYING THERE
THIS CORPSE MY HANDS HAVE MADE!
Bring the knife up to my back
And CUT INTO MY SKIIIN!
This curse, I can't escape from it
ANGEL WITH DEMON WIIINGS!
*solo*
Bring the knife up to my back
And CUT INTO MY SKIIIN!
This curse, I can't escape from it
ANGEL WITH DEMON WIIINGS! (2X)
*drum bridge*
CAN'T ESCAPSE YOU AFTER ALL,
IN DEATH YOU HAUNT ME STILL!
ANGEL WITH THE DEMON WINGS
ABOVE THIS CORPSE I MAAADE!
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And there you have it, folks; the very end. I hope you all enjoyed reading Yoshi's unique view on the events of Bleached Metal: Encore as I did writing it. It took me lots false starts and a couple total rewrites in some cases, but it's finally over! If I've done my job right, this Omake will have brought another dimension to Yoshi's character, as well as the story as a whole.
And while you're all waiting for the sequel, go read some of Alex's other stories. He's got Bleach galore, some very good anti-Twilight Hellsing, and many other assorted stories of good quality. (Trust me, I've read most of them.) And check out some of my stuff too. Please? It's actually pretty good stuff…There's a little something for everybody; comedy, horror, even some romance of you can believe it.
Now that the ad break is finished, let me once again thank everyone for reading. Also, don't forget to send suggestions in for the Soul Reaper interviews. Oh and reviews are nice as well! Either way click that little button down there now!