[Author's Note] Welcome to the latest craze in Harry Potter humor: lighting-up-wand jokes! Once you've read these, come up with your own and post them as a review. Once I have enough from you, I'll start adding them as chapters until we have a veritable compendium of bad HP gags! Then we'll print them, bind them and sell them to Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes ... we'll make a fortune ... live in opulent languor ... muhahaha ...
Oh yeah, I own nothing, including all of the big words below.
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How many Hufflepuffs does it take to light up a wand?
-Two, trying as hard as they can, and they never give up until they get it, those plucky Hufflepuffs.

How many Ravenclaws does it take to light up a wand?
-Just one, he spent all last term studying it, aren't Ravenclaws the cleverest?

How many Gryffindors does it take to light up a wand?
-Just one, but he has to do it illegally after curfew to make it seem worthwhile.

How many Quidditch players does it take to light up a wand?
-Six to work their butts off and a Seeker to take the credit.

How many dragons does it take to light up a wand?
*whoosh of flames*
Never mind.

How many Animagi does it take to light up a wand?
-Two dozen, because only one of them is actually registered.

How many Weasleys does it take to light up a wand?
-Who needs a lighted wand, with all that hair?

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Now's your turn! Send in your own via that little button right down there on the left. Thanks for reading!