She found him in the bathroom again, hands gripping the sides of the sink tightly.

She knew he would be there. It had become a daily habit ever since that day.

Haibara Ai sighed as she watched Shinichi scrub his hands raw for the fifth time that day. When would that boy let go? When would he forget? The others had already forgotten, or rather, they had blocked it all away. They had also forgiven him, but that was nothing if he wouldn't forgive himself.

Still, he dreams of it night after night, never forgetting. When would he?

She doubted he would. That moment was far too traumatizing too just forget.

She contemplated whether or not she should stop him. If he continued to do that, his skin might as well be nothing but the past. On the other hand, this was how he chose to forget.

Ai sighed. She might as well leave him be. She couldn't stop him either way. If she dared to disturb his precious ritual, that fragile string that was his sanity would break.

*scrub, scrub, scrub, phwoosh*

Shinichi stared blankly at the running water, idly scrubbing at his hands like always. It was like a routine for him nowadays. Memories of that day would suddenly surface and the inescapable urge to scrub his hands raw came with it. He didn't fight it, he welcomed it. He recognized it as a way to cleanse himself of the dirty feeling he has felt ever since that day.

He hadn't meant to grab a hold of it. He hadn't meant to raise it at him. He hadn't meant for it to go through.

He hadn't meant to pull the trigger.

He hadn't meant to kill her too.

Shinichi scrubbed harder at his hands, tears falling from his eyes.

Maybe, if he scrubbed hard enough, that stain would go away.

But how could he wash away the stain on his heart?

Author's Notes: Good afternoon everyone. I am Nameless and this is my first story for Detective Conan. I hope that my characterizations weren't too off. Forgive me for I haven't watched the show in a long time.

This is for Shingo-sama. Just another deathfic to add to your list.

Interpret this as you will. I would love to know what you think really happened here.