Author's Note: This is my first ever songfic so please bare with me if it is painful. I will gladly take any and all feedback!
To those followers of my Law and Order: SVU fic All it takes is Once, I ask that you be a little more patient with me. I am just now able to get back to writing and am working on ideas to continue the story.
X
There she was, sitting on her bed busily writing in that god damned diary. Her hair fell gently over her beautiful face as she leaned over the worn pages. Just looking at her killed him. At first he had seen Katherine in her face and it had felt like a stake being driven in to his still heart. But since he had come to know her, every time he looked in to her eyes, all he saw was Elena. Stephan's Elena. Now instead of a stake in his heart, he felt heat. A burning rage and self pity that made him want to just take her and be done with it. Drain her dry for making him feel this way. How dare she invade every part of him, making him want nothing more than to see her smile. And that was the part of it he hated. Despite how much he wanted to kill her and retrieve his sanity, he could never hurt her. It would leave him in a waking nightmare. Maybe it was just best if he walked away and left Mystic Falls until she was dead and gone. She would never leave Stephan for him, even now that Isobel had told her the truth. What would she do if given the choice? What if he told her 'It's Stephan or me. Just know that if you chose him, I will leave you alone for good.' That would be up to her.
I'm one step from a breakdown
Two steps from being sane
Just try to see this through
I'm three steps from this nightmare
And four steps from the door
The rest is up to you
X
Just as the thoughts went racing around his head, Elena stood and placed the diary behind the painting above her bed. He scooted himself back along the tree branch so as not to be seen as she came to the window. He saw her breast heave in a drawn out sigh and then she spoke words that completely caught him off guard.
"Damon I now you're out there. Just come in already"
He momentarily froze in place, utterly amazed that she had known he was there. Quickly recovering, he plastered his signature smirk on his face and swiftly launched himself through her window, gracefully landing beside her bed.
"Finally able to sense when the more attractive brother is near Elena?"
He shot her a smoldering look. Oh well. If he couldn't have her, he could at least flirt and torture her. She could never know the inner war raging in his heart. He smiled wider when he saw her roll her eyes and plop down on the bed in exasperation. He crossed his arms and leaned against the window sill, content with just looking at her. He watched her cover her face with her hands and sighed again. After a moment of awkward silence, she finally lowered her hands. She brought her eyes up to meet his and he was stunned to see the pain and affection he saw there. He held her gaze, not able to find words to speak but desperately wanting her to say something…anything.
"What are you doing here Damon?"
She asked the one question he didn't want to answer. Not honestly at least. He held his breath even though he didn't need to breathe. How could he answer that? How dare she question him at all. He felt his anger flare and he couldn't control it. He didn't want to. He was sick of pretending with her. He was done hiding the true monster in him. She needed to know.
"I think you know why I'm here Elena" he spat, infusing his words with venom and watching them sting her. He saw tears form in her eyes and she shook her head.
"Damon, I'm sorry. I never meant to give you false hope. I am your friend and I care about you but, I can't let it be anything more"
Her voice faltered with the last words as if she was losing her conviction. He smirked again, slightly relieved that it seemed he wasn't the only fighting a battle with himself. In the blink of an eye he grabbed her and had her pressed against the wall with his body. He chuckled lightly as she fought back half heartedly and heard her heart pick up an erratic pace. He was finally going to say what he needed to say and there was no way in hell she was going to stop him.
"I'm sorry Elena but the 'just friends' excuse is wearing thin. I can't stand to hear you say it. I'm done faking who I am and what I feel just so you can go on believing the lies. I love you Elena. And if you can honestly look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel the same way then I'll just turn and walk away"
Pardon me while I just turn my back and walk away
Pardon me if I can't listen to the things you say
Pardon me if I can't fake it while you still believe
Pardon me
X
It was only after he finished speaking that he realized he had growled the last parts and his face had changed. The tell tale veins around his eyes were glaring at her and his fangs gently grazed his lower lip. He laughed again; amazed at the effect she had on him. Not even Katherine had made him feel this passionate, this volatile. He stared in to her eyes and expected to see fear, maybe even loathing but he was taken aback yet again when all he saw was tenderness and determination. Typical Elena, not afraid of the vampire. He felt his face smooth back to normal and he took a step back away from her. Now he was scared. He had just laid it all out in front f her and he was afraid of what he knew she would say. This was ridiculous, Damon Salvatore, afraid? Good God this girl would be the death of him. He stepped backwards until he felt the sharp edge of the window in his back again, his arms hanging limply at his sides and his eyes burning a hole in to the floor. He heard her take in a ragged breath and immediately felt horrible. All he wanted now was her forgiveness and then he would leave and either find a way to get over her or die. He glanced up to see her easing herself from the wall and take one step towards him. He held up his hand wearily and thanked a God he didn't believe in for allowing him to find voice enough to speak.
"I'm sorry Elena. That was out of line. If I hurt you, it was not my intention. Just tell me I'm forgiven and I'll leave"
She had stopped her movement toward him when he had help up his hand. Now she resumed her careful steps and only stopped when she was inches from him. Her gaze was warm and steady but her beating heart told him of the nervousness rushing through her. His heart nearly exploded when she finally spoke.
"No Damon, I will not say I forgive you"
Despair flooded through him. What now? There was no way he could go on living with her pissed off at him. Then she answered the unspoken question for him.
"I won't say I forgive you because there is nothing to forgive. You were finally completely honest with me and that's all you have ever been. You've never tried to hide your true face from me like I was some fragile little girl. That is the second most redeemable quality about you Damon"
He scoffed, not believing what he was hearing.
"Oh yea? What's the first?" he asked sarcastically.
She didn't even miss a beat when she answered him, simultaneously grabbing one of his loosed hanging hands.
"You love me" she whispered softly, brining her free hand up to caress his face. He closed his eyes and leaned in to her touch. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he finally willed his eyes open and looked in to hers. Her gorgeous brown orbs shined with affection and longing. Before he could stop himself, he wrapped one arm around her waist and brought the other hand around to cradle the back of her head. He stopped just short of kissing her, teasing her lips with his cool breath. Still staring in to her eyes, he gently played with her hair.
"You know we're both going to hell for this" he whispered, his voice lustful and seductive. She nodded her head slightly and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"As long as I'm going with you I don't care" she growled, the lust in her voice matching his with every word.
And then she finally closed the gap between them, pressing her lips hard against his. He touched her lips with his tongue and she willingly parted them. The kiss was heated, passionate, and so much more then he could have ever dreamed. She felt amazing against him. She was his.
I'm one step from forgiveness
And two steps from my grave
We're all just passing through
Three steps from redemption
Four from the devil's door
On a path that leads to you
X
He reluctantly pulled away when he felt her getting short on breath. When he looked down at her he could tell she was on fire. So was he. He wanted her and now he had her. But he was also turning her life upside down. None of her friends liked him, her family was definitely not fond of him and her family meant everything to her. Then there was Stephan. She seemed happy with him. Could he ruin that? He'd let her decide.
"You know Elena; you're Two steps from salvation. All you have to do is walk out that door and I'll leave. It will be like this never happened"
The fire he felt burning in her made itself known in her eyes as he spoke the words. She tightened her arms around him possessively and shook her head.
"I'm only taking one step Damon, and it's towards you. I love you"
He felt tears spring to his eyes when she said what he had been so desperate to hear. Tears. Something he hadn't felt since he was human. He hadn't even known he could still cry. She reached up and wiped the tears from his cheeks and he marveled at how gentle and caring she was. He smiled his first true smile in over a century.
"And I love you Elena"
He brought his lips to hers and kissed her slowly, savoring ever second.