Secrets Chapter 17: Love, Anger & Confusion, a Final Fantasy VII + Naruto Crossover fanfic

To make up for the last chapter here is one that I am quite proud of ^~^ Anger, Love and lots of confusion for a certain fiery red-head :}

Two years has passed since Kira left. She found herself struggling in the populated area, but found it easy to blend into the crowds there. No one paid any attention to her. She'd sold Cloud's car easily for rent money, since everything in New York was accessible via subway she really didn't need the car. She'd put all of the money she'd had at the time buying an apartment in the city for seven months. Once she sold the car she found she'd had enough to buy food and pay what bills would be coming in. She knew she had to find a job and when she stumbled upon a club on the Lower East Side in was just her place. The owner had approached her and asked if she knew how to bar-tend. Of course the girls fake ID stated that she was 22 so she was completely in the clear. She'd even began bleaching her hair as not to get recognized by anyone.

Kira had started two days later. Finding the work was fun and amusing as she watched everyone get drunk and party. Being in the environment did nothing for her celibacy though. She began smoking weed again and it was long before she was back on the needle. She didn't let it control her though. She'd only been doing it once a week, on her off day to let her enjoy her day. She wandered around her apartment lazily in a pair of sweat pants and a tank top. She rubbed her face with a sigh. She heard a knock at her door and she groaned.

"Who is it?" She called.

"Open up!" a man's voice called she gave a huff as she walked over to the door and swung it open. A guy leaned up again the door frame wearing ripped up skinny jeans and a black Saliva band tee. His red spiked hair was looking wild as ever and he smiled down at her. "I thought you'd want to get out of here for a while," He told her and she sighed, letting him into the apartment.

"What'd you have in mind," She asked as she walked into her bedroom to pull on red skinny jeans and a white Sleeping With Sirens band tee. She pulled on a thin black hoodie to cover herself up. She pulled on a pair of Vans and walked back out into the living area.

"I was thinking dinner and then from there it's up in the air," He told her and she nodded.

"You paying?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Naturally," He smirked at her as he leaned down to gently place a kiss on her lips. She rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse, pulling over her head to where the bag rested on her hip. She followed the man out onto her landing and locked the door behind them. She sighed as they walked out into the city. Usually at night you'd think the streets would be emptier. Perhaps more quiet, but that was when the city came alive. She walked past a million people, all seeming to blur together until they all looked the same. She'd been here for two years and the city still amazed her.

"Where are you taking me Axel?" She asked with slight confusion.

"To dinner, stop complaining Raea," She had become used to the name on her fake ID. It'd taken her a while to get used to it, but she'd began to take it with her new life. She pushed the thoughts away from her world in Florida and focused on the here and now. Axel pulled her into a restaurant called South Gate. She let him get them a seat and she waited for the waiter to write down what she wanted to drink. She turned to Axel with a smile.

"So what's all this about? You never just feel like going out, usually I'm the one dragging you into the city," She told him.

"Well I wanted to see you, and I figured you'd want to go out," Axel looked away from her, slightly embarrassed as a blush formed on his cheeks. What was the red head thinking that was making him act this way. He was usually energetic and happy, but now he was quiet and cautious, if that was the correct word for it. When the waiter returned with their drinks they ordered and soon they were eating in silence. Once they were finished Axel paid the bill without letting her see it. When they left Axel held her hand gently as they walked down the street.

"Raea, we've known each other since you moved here, and I don't know what else to tell except that I love you. I love you more and more every time we're together and I will always love you," Axel began.

"Axel please stop," She told him as she released his hand and looked at the ground.

"Why? You can't tell me that you don't feel the same," He looked at her shocked.

"Axel, I just can't," She told him.

"Your fiance died two years ago. How long will it take you to get over him?" Axel asked her, his words were soft, but they hurt as if he had screamed them at her. She glared at him now. She said nothing to him, just stalked passed him toward the clubbing district. She needed to get her mind off of him. She walked up to a bouncer who had previously worked at the Temple (Raea's current work place.) He smiled at her and let her passed him. She let the music vibrate through her body and she made her was over to the bar. She flashed the bartender her ID and ordered a drink. She took her shots and let the alcohol flow throughout her body. When she moved out onto the dance floor she felt someone's hands on her hips. She turned to see one of her regulars standing behind her. He was always at the club when she was working.

He was a rich boy, from Staten Island who loved to spend his parents money on clubbing and pretty women. She looked him up and down and leaned forward to place a teasing kiss on his lips. He kissed her back as their bodies continued to move to the beat of the music. She hadn't thought about what would happen next but they continued to dance until she knew she was really drunk and decided it was time for her to go home. The guy she'd been dancing with all night, Demyx, was following behind her like a puppy. She let him take her hand. When she finally climbed the stair to her apartment she felt the tension between the two of them rise.

When she awoke in the morning she was naked in her bed with the dirty blonde from the night before. She groaned and went to start some coffee. She took the time to take a scalding shower and get dressed. She had pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans and a blue Mayday Parade shirt. She heard Demyx grumble something about a hangover and soon he made his appearance into the kitchen He'd pulled on his boxers and Jeans to somewhat cover himself up.

"I have somewhere I need to be soon, so If you don't mind?" She looked at the guy who in turn nodded and went to retrieve the rest of his belongings. Soon the door shut behind him and she checked her phone. She had several missed calls from Axel, but she didn't really care. The call that interested her was from a 407 area code. That was Orlando. She gulped as she called the number back.

"Hello?" A guy on the other end of the phone answered.

"I received a call from this number? Is this about my recent Ebay purchase because the jewelry was a lot less impressive in person," She ranted.

"No ma'am I was actually looking for someone by the name of Kirra," The man asked and she had to fight back the fear she was feeling.

"Well there is no one here by that name, I'm sorry you wasted your time," She told him and he gave her a small thank you then hung up. The voice had been so familiar but she couldn't be sure which person it had been. She set the phone down and sighed.

Cloud set his phone down with a shake of his head. He looked at it with a glare. Since two years ago, he'd been looking for her and this lead had been so perfect, maybe too perfect. No one had answered the phone, but he was surprised when it began ringing. Someone was calling him back.

"Hello?" He answered.

"I received a call from this number? Is this about my recent Ebay purchase because the jewelry was a lot less impressive in person," The voice was unmistakably Kirra's. She sounded well and kind of angry. He let her voice wash over him and took a deep breath. He hoped that she would tell him it was her if he asked but he doubted it.

"No ma'am I was actually looking for someone by the name of Kirra," He sat there for a moment while the other end went silent for a moment.

"Well there is no one here by that name, I'm sorry you wasted your time," She told him and he nodded his head, knowing she wouldn't have told him anyways.

"Well thank you anyways for your time," He hung up the phone and stared at the number.

New York, she was in New York.

Kirra stood and hoped that nothing would change yet. She wanted to enjoy this life she had created for herself. She took a deep breath and grabbed her jacket before leaving the apartment. She grabbed a small breakfast at a cafe across the street from her apartment and walked toward central park. She spotted a flyer on a pole; she'd been seeing them for weeks and had ignored them. Forgetting Last Friday Here In New York! The date was set for tomorrow and she sighed. She had to get out of the city before anyone recognized her as an ex-member of the band. She saw a picture of the band now, they hadn't replaced her, Jagger had just taken to singing all of the songs.

She'd even gone to buy the new album when it was released. She pulled her headphones out of her pocket and began playing one of the new songs they had made, no doubt it was about her. Jagger knew she'd been upset, probably fearing she'd committed suicide. She'd wanted to, and she had tried, but every single time, someone had saved her. Jumping from the Manhattan Bridge, trying to overdose on heroin, alcohol poisoning and even eating a handful of pills. There was something that was trying to keep her alive and she had no clue why.

She sighed and ripped down the flyer, folding it neatly and placing it in her back pocket. If she couldn't see them in person then maybe she could listen to some of their new music and hope they were okay, but when Jagger's voice filled her ears, she wanted to cry. He sounded heartbroken and near tears.

"As she sits in the corner
Face to the floor
She dispels smoke from from her lips
And slowly floats away with it
Letting go of so much pain
Her tears are thick enough to stain
The pavement that slowly becomes
Her best friend when she needs to run away" She could hear the disappointment in his voice, his thoughts obviously on her, maybe she could go to the show, staying the back and keep herself away from their wandering eyes. Perhaps she could go. It would be a relief to set eyes on a piece of her life before two years ago.

"This is your time to weep
This is your time to mourn
Not yet time to build up
Just a time to tear down
Old walls" Rayne's death was the time to mourn, he had seen her self destruction the moment the tiny boy had left the earth. She'd been willing to throw herself in front of a truck to get him back, but her efforts would have been futile.

"Does it help to say I'm sorry
If so than I'm sorry that your so unhappy
This life those lies are starting get you down
Darling don't let them drag you around
Saying "it's my fault" doesn't help repeated
Time, love and Jesus seems to beat it
She'll find out this is harder than
Taking medicine

"We're still waiting for the fire
We're still waiting for the fire
Seeing smoke and waiting for the fire
We're still waiting for the fire
We're still waiting for the fire
Seeing smoke and waiting for the fire
We're still waiting for the fire

"This is your time to weep
This is your time to mourn
Not yet time to build up
Just a time to tear down
This is your time to weep
This is your time to mourn
Not yet time to build up
Just a time to tear down
Old walls" By the time the song had finished she was near tears. She climbed the steps to her apartment and saw a figure standing in front of her door way.

"Can I help you" She asked, ready to run down the stairs if necessary. The figure turned and she couldn't help but gasp. Blonde hair framed an angled face. His sharp blue eyes were staring at her and she turned to look away from him. She looked down the stairs to see a feisty red head coming her way and she groaned.

"Raea? Is that you, why are you just standing out here?" Axel asked.

"Kira?" Jagger's voice filled the empty hallway and The blonde girl just wanted to cry.

"Does it help to say I'm sorry, If so than I'm sorry that you're so unhappy," She quoted the song lyrics she had been listening to moments before. Jagger looked at his feet with a sigh. Axel had reached her now.

"Hey aren't you Jagger? From FLF? What are you doing-" Axel was cut off by Jagger taking three steps and hugging the girl beside him. She held very still as Axel watched he was murmuring something to her that he couldn't quite hear. Then out of nowhere she shoved him, pushing him to stumble backwards.

"Jagger. Stop, please. I left for a reason. I don't want to be up on stage anymore, prancing around pretending to be a sensitive broken artist just so we could sell more albums. You seem to be playing that card exceptionally, all by yourself," She looked at him with a glare.

"Kirra, why are you mad at me?" He asked with a hurt expression.

"Because you fell in love with me! You were my rock! The only thing in the world that wouldn't change! We'd been through everything together. You were the first person to ever meet Rayne, the first one to accept the truth from me, and you fell in love with me. Then you turn around a write a song about it!" She yelled her frustrations at him, while Axel looked severely confused.

"Why is that a bad thing? I'm the one who should be mad at you! You left me, the last thing I ever heard from you was 'I'm fine, Jagger, promise!' and then you disappeared. You left me alone after four years of constant companionship. You left me to come here and move on with your life. Did you even think of me? Or Cloud for that matter? Sasori? Deidara? Pein?" He began talking to her and she wanted to cry but she wouldn't not in front of Axel.

"Raea? What's going on? Who is he?" Axel asked with a confused look.

"Her name isn't Raea, that's her Mother's name. Her name is Kira Ikinumari. She's lied to you, to everyone here because she didn't want to come home," Jagger glared at Axel.

"Raea? Tell me that he's lying. That you haven't lied to me," Axel begged her, but she wouldn't look at the red-head, her glare was perfectly trained on the blonde in front of her.

"You came here to ruin my life? To destroy everything I built? You would come here to make me relive the deaths of those I love?" Her voice was shaking. "I left so I didn't have to relive every memory that has been burned into the recesses of my brain! I DIDN'T WANT TO REMEMBER ANYMORE!" She yelled at him, tears were streaming down her cheeks. When Jagger spoke his voice was somber.

"You didn't have to just disappear Kirry, you could have told someone- anyone- that you were leaving. Genisis told us you were coming home, and then you didn't. You let us all believe that you were dead!" He told her.

"I have been dead, ever since Rayne and Zack died. They took the last pieces of me with them," She spoke, her voice seeming as far away as Jagger should have been at that moment.

"You ran away because you were scared. Scared of living with the repercussions of what happen that day with Itachi. Why couldn't you just come home? You left me, all alone..." Jagger sounded like a child at that moment. Kirra glared at the blonde now. His words hurt her but not as much as she could hurt him.

"Jagger. I left because when I was there nothing good ever happened. I moved here to start new, to find myself where you can be anyone. You think I was scared of staying, but do you know how hard it was to leave? Everything and everyone I know is back in Florida, but I came here with only what little money I took from Cloud and decided that I could start over, and do you know what the only reminder I had was?" She glared at the boy.

"What?" Jagger's voice cracked with that one word.

"The second child that Itachi impregnated me with. Again I would have to look at the face of a child that was fathered by that bastard and you have the audacity to stand here and tell me that I left you alone? Jagger almost everyday I find myself wishing I could go back to the life I left behind. I knew that if I went back nothing would be the same," She told him and watched the pain on his face turn to anger.

"I know that Itachi wasn't Rayne's father, Kirra. You lied about that to keep Shisui's name untarnished," Jagger turned away from her, he was angry and didn't want Kirra to see. Kirra bit her lip and shut her eyes tight.

"I don't want you here Jagger, you're fucking everything up," She told him. She watched him clench his fist so tight his knuckles began to turn white.

"Why would you do this to us? To me, to Razor, to Cloud?" He asked, Cloud's name seemed like venom on his tongue. "I may hate Cloud, but there is no doubt that he loves you. He loved you when you were with Zack, he loved you when he found out about Rayne, He loved you when you left and he still loves you. I hate him because he will get to love you," Kirra could hear the hurt in his voice. "You know what the really twisted thing is? The day Zack asked you out, I had this whole day planned out where I'd tell you how I truly felt. And when I got to your house, he was there kissing you. He was there to do what I had been trying to do for so many years. When I finally told you..." He paused and clenched his fists again, "You rejected me. Rejected to even acknowledge my confession and disappeared," Jagger turned to face her and Kirra took in his face. he hadn't been sleeping well, there were dark bags under his eyes, and he was skinny, too skinny.

"What have you done to yourself Jagger?" Kirra whispered. Thoughts began running through her mind, visions of Zack's note and the feeling that it was all her fault.

"Raea- Kirra? Who are you?" Axel spoke for the first time in a long time and she turned wide eyes to look at the boy.

"Axel, you need to leave. I'll be fine, just go," She told him and watched as he nodded. He slowly walked down the stairs and Kirra pulled her keys out to unlock her door. "We don't need to continue this out here. It seems there is more to talk about than I thought," Kirra pushed her door open and looked at Jagger. He walked up and hugged her again, bending down to lay his head on her shoulder.

"Kirra? Will you let me stay here tonight? I don't want to leave you. I'm afraid that if I do, I'll never find you again," His voice sounded scared and Kirra felt her heart breaking in her chest. She nodded softly and he nodded. She nudged him into the apartment, he complied and sat on the couch with a sigh. His head was placed in his hands and he smiled. "I can't believe I actually found you," Jagger told her.

"I can't either," She said as she sat down next to him. A long moment passed before either of them said anything.

"Am I the reason you left?" Jagger asked finally breaking the silence.

"No," She told him and he looked at her as if he'd expected a different answer. "I left because I couldn't handle losing anyone else that meant everything to me. I couldn't imagine losing you, Razor, Cloud, Sasori, anyone. You all mean the world to me and I can't stand the thought of anyone dying anymore," She told him.

"I thought you didn't want me to love you," He told her.

"I don't want you to.. because with love comes heartbreak," She told him.

"It doesn't change anything," Jagger told her. Kirra closed her eyes tightly to force back the tears. She felt him take her hand and hold it with such care it astounded her. As if she would break at any moment. "And you know that you love me too. I can see it Kirra," Jagger whispered to her and this time she didn't deny it. She was gathered in his arms now, taking in the sweet scent of her childhood. She felt him pull her into his lap and she wound her arms around her neck. He was holding her tightly now, not wanting to let her escape. She buried her face in his neck. They stayed like this for a long time before his grip loosened slightly. She sat up so that she could look into his startling blue eyes.

"If nothing else, we could have tonight," She whispered and brought her lips to his gently. Jagger seemed shocked at first and then melted into the kiss.

Oh yeah, I'm leaving you there just to torment you :]