One day I was suddenly struck by the urge to restart my love of this series, and promptly sat down and watched the entire show online over the course of two sleepless weeks. I then sat down and plowed out this piece, which has since sat in lonely seclusion on my computer until now, when I finally dug it up, dusted it off, and let it out into the light. It's set during the episode "The Southern Raiders" and show cases one of the possible ways Katara and Zuko passed the time on the trip back to the beach. Constructive criticism is always welcome, and I hope you enjoy the fic!


"I'm a coward, aren't I?"

"What?" Zuko asked, looking over his shoulder at Katara. She was sitting against the side of Appa's saddle, her knees drawn up under her chin and her gaze on some distant point in the ocean passing by below.

"I'm a coward," Katara repeated, resting her chin on her knees. "That man, he took my mother's life and I couldn't even avenge her."

"Refusing to kill someone doesn't make you a coward," Zuko said.

"Oh, so letting the man who murdered my mother live makes me brave?" Katara shot back. Zuko opened his mouth to respond and then paused.

"Can Appa find his way back to Aang without my help?" Zuko asked.

"Uh, yeah," Katara said, confused by the sudden change in conversation. Her confusion changed to a disgruntled annoyance when Zuko appeared across from her, sitting himself down and resting his back against the rim of Appa's saddle.

"What are you doing?" Katara asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Coming back here to talk some sense into you."

"What are you talking about?" Katara asked, glaring at Zuko. "I know what I'm saying."

"That you're a coward for refusing to kill someone," Zuko stated.

"Yes," Katara whispered, turning to look away from the fire prince.

"Katara, has your brother ever killed anyone?" Zuko asked, regaining Katara's attention.

"No," Katara said, "But what does that have to do with-"

"So he's a coward then," Zuko said.

"No!" Katara shouted, sitting up straighter. "My brother is not a-"

"What about Aang?" Zuko asked, cutting Katara off. "I know he hasn't killed anyone, so obviously he's a coward too."

"How dare you say that! Aang is the bravest person I know and you-"

"And what about my great-grandfather?" Zuko asked, again cutting Katara off. "One hundred years ago he wiped out an entire civilization, killed thousands of people. So, according to you, he must be one of the bravest men to ever live!"

"No!" Katara shouted again, "Aang and Sokka are two of the bravest people I know and you have no right to question them! And as for your grandfather he was nothing but a monster who deserved death when it finally came to him!" When Katara finished her rant she was panting slightly with her anger, her fists clenched at her sides. Across from her Zuko sat with his hands crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face.

"Still think you're a coward?"

Katara's eyes widened and her mouth formed a small 'oh' as she realized what Zuko had been trying to point out. Now feeling embarrassed by her outburst Katara ducked her head, trying to hide the blush creeping across her cheeks and tucking her arms around her stomach.

"I'm sorry I yelled," she said, glancing up at the firebender. "I didn't mean to insult your great-grandfather."

"No, you were right," Zuko said, looking down at his legs as he added quietly, "He was a monster."

Still looking down at his lap Zuko seemed to lose himself in thought, the silence between him and Katara slowly stretching until it reached the point of being uncomfortable.

"Umm, thank you," Katara said, feeling awkward as she broke the quiet that had settled. "You know, for helping me find him."

"You're welcome," Zuko answered, also feeling a little awkward.

"Just so you know, I don't think you're a coward." The words were out before Katara even realized she was saying them, and her eyes darted up to meet Zuko's surprised expression.

"What?" he asked, more from shock then actually having missed the words.

"It…it must have taken a lot of guts for you to leave your country and family to come join us," Katara said, picking absently at a loose string on her sleeve. "It must have been hard."

"Not really," Zuko said, shrugging slightly, and Katara wondered just how much of his flippant tone was just an act. "It's not like I had something to stay for. You've met my sister, so you know she's not really the family type. She'd kill me for the chance to be only child."

"What about your father?" Katara asked. Her eyebrows shot up when her question was met with a bark of laughter.

"He hates me," Zuko said, his fingers drifting up to brush absently against his scar. "And I wasn't exactly courageous when I finally walked away from him. The only time I ever stood up to him was during the eclipse, when he couldn't firebend. That was right before I left to follow you guys."

"And your Uncle?" Katara asked softly. She knew if there was any family that Zuko cared about, it would be him.

"Gone," Zuko answered simply. "He was arrested as soon as I returned to the Fire Nation with Azula. I went to go free him after I confronted my father, but when I got to the prison he had already escaped. I'm…not sure I'll get to see him again."

"I'm so sorry," Katara said, and she actually surprised herself a little with how sincere she was.

"So am I," Zuko whispered, looking over at the ocean passing below. Again the pair lapsed into silence, although this time it wasn't quiet as awkward as before.

As Zuko stared out at the ocean Katara stared at him. The way his head was turned she couldn't see the scar on his face and with a bit of thought she was able to imagine him without it at all. Her mental image of an unscarred Zuko actually didn't look too bad. One of the few things Katara had liked about Zuko, even when hating him, were his eyes. It would be nice to see them both unmarred.

"Katara," Zuko said quietly, pulling Katara from her musings, a blush beginning to tint her cheeks when she realized what she'd been thinking.

"Yeah Zuko?"

"I know it probably doesn't mean much, but I'm sorry for what I did to you at Ba Sing Se. I made the wrong choice and I lost everything for it. Including your trust."

For a moment Katara considered telling Zuko that he was right, that he had chosen wrong and deserved what had happened to him. But she knew that at this point it would just be rubbing salt into an already painful wound.

"It's okay," Katara said, "If it had been me, I don't know that I would have chosen different." Katara had only meant to say it to be comforting, but once the words were out and she was given a moment to consider them, really think them over, she realized it was the truth.

"Really?" Zuko asked softly. Katara was slightly surprised to see that Zuko's expression wasn't just of surprise, but also something that suggested he was expecting Katara to turn around and tell him no and berate him for his choice. The fact that someone was actually expecting it from her made Katara inwardly cringe.

"I know that if I had to choose between some stranger and the Avatar that I'd been hunting for years or my brother and the Water Tribe there would be no question. I would choose my family and my home first over anything."

"I…thank you," Zuko whispered.

"For what?" Katara asked, raising an eyebrow.

"For understanding."

"You did the same for me," Katara said, giving Zuko a small smile. "It's kind of weird to say, but I'm glad you're with us. Otherwise I never would have gotten this chance, and I needed it, I needed to confront that man. I really did."

"Glad I could help," Zuko said with a smirk, although it was only fleeting. "While we're talking about captains of the Southern Raiders, there's something I've been wanting to ask you."

"What is it?" Katara asked, straightening one of her legs out so she wasn't peering over her knees to look at Zuko.

"Back on the Raider's boat, what you did to the captain, what was that?"

"That," Katara said, frowning, "was bloodbending." Zuko's eyebrow quirked.

"Bloodbending?" he repeated. Katara nodded.

"I didn't want to learn it, but some crazy old woman sort of forced me to. She was one of the waterbenders from the Southern Water Tribe who'd been captured by the Fire Nation. She'd learned how to bend the water inside of people while she'd been imprisoned and used that skill to escape. It's a horrible thing to do," Katara added, "I shouldn't have done it."

"What's done is done," Zuko said when he noticed Katara's gaze grow distant. Blinking as she was pulled back from her thoughts Katara nodded, flashing Zuko a small smile.

"What's done is done," she repeated. She then gasped, her hand going to her mouth as a horrified look came to her face as Zuko's words reminded her of another less than chivalrous thing she'd done that day.

"What?" Zuko asked, eyes going wide with worry, "What's wrong?"

"I can't believe I said that," Katara moaned, covering her face with her hands.

"What?" Zuko repeated, "Said what?"

"You must not have loved her like I did," Katara said, glancing up, her expression mortified. "I said that to Sokka before we left. Ugh, how could I have been so heartless? He must hate me now."

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you," Zuko said, leaning forward slightly. "He knows you were just upset."

"And so I lashed out at him," Katara said, burying her face back in her hands. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"You could tell him you're sorry," Zuko suggested. "We seem to be doing a lot of that tonight anyway." Despite still feeling awful Katara smiled.

"I guess that's all I really can do. It's not like I can just say something like that and then pretend it didn't happen." Sighing, Katara shook her head slowly. She then paused, straightening as yet another thought came to her. "And speaking of things that I can't pretend didn't happen," she added suddenly, looking up at Zuko, "Thanks for not letting me be crushed by rocks."

"Huh?" Zuko asked, searching his mind for what Katara was talking about.

"Back at the Air Temple," Katara reminded him.

"Oh, uh, you're welcome," Zuko said, rubbing the back of his head absently. "Actually I'd kind of forgotten about that." Katara raised an eyebrow at that comment but once again refrained from making any snippy remarks.

"I guess battling your sister can make a guy forget something like that," Katara said. She'd just meant for it to be light hearted comment, but when she said it Zuko's expression soured, his eyes turning back to his lap.

"Yeah, I guess so," he whispered.

"You and your sister don't really get along huh?" Katara said softly, draping her arm across her knee. Such fighting between siblings was a sort of alien concept to her. Sure, she and Sokka had the occasional fight, but it was nothing like the rivalry between the Fire Nation's prince and princess.

"That's an understatement," Zuko muttered. "She's already tried to kill me twice."

"Why?" Katara asked, resting her chin on her arm. "What does she get out of killing you, other than being an only child?"

"Power," Zuko answered simply. "If I'm dead then she takes my place as next in line to the throne. Even if Aang does defeat my father she would become Fire Lord and continue what my great-grandfather started."

"Wow," Katara whispered. "You know, I always imagined that the royal families were a lot more, I don't know, stable. And I guess I also thought that since your great-grandfather started this war and now your father is still fighting it, it made me think that it was sort of a family thing," she added, "That all of you wanted this war."

"If the royal line had followed like it should have then the war would have ended already," Zuko said, eyes still downcast as he picked absently at a patch of dirt in Appa's fur.

"What do you mean?" Katara asked, her eyebrows furrowing slightly in confusion.

"In the Fire Nation's royal family, the throne is passed on to the oldest child," Zuko explained. "After my grandfather died, it was my Uncle Iroh who should have been next in line. He would have seen what this war was really about and ended it."

"So how did your father end up in power instead?"

"I think…my mother had something to do with it," Zuko said quietly.

"Your mother?" Katara repeated, her eyebrows rising. Other than his mentioning of her while imprisoned under Ba Sing Se, Katara had never heard Zuko mention his mother in any conversation. Even now he seemed slightly hesitant to talk about it.

"It's sort of complicated," Zuko said, shrugging slightly. "You know about how he laid siege on Ba Sing Se, yeah?" Katara nodded. "Well, towards the last of the six hundred days he was there he found out that his only son, my cousin Lu Ten, was killed in combat. It…devastated Uncle. He ended his siege soon after finding out."

"That's awful," Katara whispered, eyes wide. Zuko nodded.

"It was also the opening my father had been waiting for. After being defeated at Be Sing Se and then losing the only person who could succeed him, my father tried to convince his father that this made him the better choice as the future Fire Lord over Uncle. I didn't know it then, but my grandfather didn't take that very well and chose to punish my father."

"How?" Katara asked softly. Zuko's gaze drifted up to meet her own.

"He ordered him to kill his first born son," he said quietly. "So that he too would know the pain my Uncle felt." Katara couldn't contain her small gasp, her hand flying up to her mouth.

"But he didn't," she said, watching Zuko through wide eyes.

"No, he didn't," Zuko agreed, his fingers again reaching up to brush his scar. "But I think he would have."

"I know he's a monster," Katara whispered, "But a father killing his own child?" Zuko shrugged, letting his hand fall back into his lap.

"In the end he didn't have to. I remember one night my mother came into my room, told me she was leaving and that she loved me. The next day she was gone. Not long after that my grandfather died and my father took the throne. I don't know what she did, but I know that my mother was the one responsible for my grandfather's change of heart."

"Whatever it was that she did, I'm really glad she did it," Katara whispered, and then bit her bottom lip as she realized she hadn't meant to say that out loud. She assumed it must have been the rush of finally facing her mother's killer that caused her loose tongue. "If your mother hadn't saved you then there would have been no one to teach Aang firebending," Katara explained when she was met with Zuko's confused look.

"And no one to take all of you on field trips," Zuko muttered, referring to what the group had jokingly begun calling the adventures Aang and Sokka had taken with the firebender.

"That too," Katara said with a smile. "Thank you for going with me," she added.

"You already thanked me," Zuko pointed out with a small smile, causing Katara to blush slightly, something else she'd noticed was happening quiet frequently tonight.

"Oh, right," Katara said, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. "I guess I just got a little caught up in all of the thank you's we've been saying." Zuko smiled again, nodding a little as his gaze returned to his lap, his fingers again plucking at the bit of mud caked in Appa's fur. Katara watched him for a few minutes as the pair once again lapsed into silence, although this time it was not nearly as awkward, moving a little closer to companionable.

That was, until Katara broke it with a sudden, explosive yawn. Looking up with a slightly startled expression, Zuko stared at Katara a moment before letting out a snort of laughter.

"We should probably try and get some rest," he said, a smile tugging at his lips. "I don't think Aang or your brother will be very happy with me if I bring you back a sleep deprived zombie. I already took you off on a mission to kill someone."

"I think you're right," Katara said, a full smile splitting her face. "But you should sleep too. Appa will get us home okay." She moved over, laying herself down across Appa's back and snuggling down into his warm fur. After a few seconds Zuko followed suit, leaving a few inches between himself and Katara, who rolled onto her side to face him. Zuko looked at her out of the corner of his eye for a second, and then followed suit, turning to face the waterbender.

"Good night Zuko," she said, smiling lightly and then letting her eyes drift shut.

"Good night Katara," Zuko whispered back. "And thank you," he added. "For this. All of this." Katara's small smile grew.

"You're welcome."