Coral: OTL, man, this was an entirely random thing after seeing a few videos of 6959 on youtube and nicovideo. For those interested, you just need to type down the right kanji characters for the pairing, and it's usually presented as (ムク獄) without parenthesis. There's even video of 1859 vs 6959 and so on, but those are kind of hard to spot. Usually you can find 'em in the related video section, or check out the video maker's channel for more. Anyway, I can't say it was just because of that either, because I've been reading Vongola Maid by Bloody Autumn, and I really wanted something like this done. So, I have bad skills, but at least I'll try getting it done. I'll try getting it beta'd too later on.
One more thing! DO NOT SAY that the pairings are cute! Say that they're HOT! HOT to the EXTREME! (It'll make me feel better.)
Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn nor do I claim any other possible references, series, etc.
Bullet One: Get Smokin' Bomb Hayato!
The sun shined awfully brightly, showering it's hazardous ultraviolet waves into the small messy Japanese room. Clothes were strung in high and low places, with miscellaneous objects seeming to add to the mess. It seems as though there was a meeting of sorts, possibly one that involved quite a bit of people, with gun powder, screaming tunas, random visits from other characters, and more screaming tunas. Or it could be that whoever owns the room is a messy person.
A grunt came from a particularly large pile of clothes set in a particularly suspicious area on a particularly low mattress that looks particularly like-
"HHEEEEEYYY!"
Please excuse the interruption that was caused by a certain loud mouthed Italian from a place far off from the current setting that was just described.
"Who's interrupting, now?"
The silver haired man widened his eyes in absolute enragement, not realizing that he had interrupted the prologue of the story by breaking the fourth wall.
"Story? That's what you're all worked up about?"
The proper wording would be fanfiction, but...
"WHAT? Fanfiction? Is it the stuff that forces me into a nekomimi outfit, and I would be reduced to a blubbering dumb bat forced to clean the house and do all the dirty work? Or THAT STUFF which says I'm a maid forced to do everyone's bidding when I'm entirely not? Or maybe-"
The silver haired man, who is now identified as Squalo due to the fact that many readers noticed his quality of being loud and the fact that he would add "Hey!" as an opening phrase, gasped as the whole world faded out.
"Nothing's even fading! What sort of false information is this? And you still haven't answered my question! What the heck is fan-"
Tsuna forced himself awake, only to realize that there was still darkness. Perhaps it's still time to sleep. Yup. This growing boy still has to take his rest, and morning's not until there's sunlight, right?
Unfortunately, before the brown head could continue sleeping in the world of luscious dreams, angry beams of ultraviolet waves suddenly bursted into the cracks of his eyes!
"GYAAAAAAAH!" screeched the poor boy as he was forced awake, soon realizing that the culprit for vandalizing his sleep was none other than a certain Vongola Mafia hitman arcobaleno baby. "R-Reborn!"
Reborn tossed away the clothes which shielded Tsuna's head from contact with the world with his usual big eyed glance. "You have a big day today."
"W-what? But it's Sunday!" complained the Vongola heir, burying himself further into his blanket. "There's no school today, and training begins next week." He shut his eyes tightly. Just let him sleep, please!
"No can do, Tsuna. If you continue to stay in there, the bomb will explode and you'll die." Reborn replied cheerful as ever, tipping his hat.
"HIIEEK!"
Withing seconds, Tsunayoshi was rushing out of the mattress, gazing around wildly. Bomb! Bomb! Where's the bomb? He checked under the bed. NO! His brown eyes dilated in panic. Wires are everywhere under there, buttons, and... Is that a watch? Gah! It's too small read and it's not even digital! How much time did he have?
"About ten seconds." answered Reborn as though he actually could hear thoughts. But it doesn't take telepathy to read Tsuna's mind.
The tenth Vongola screeched for the third time that day, as he was immediately given a pair of clippers. "What? I don't even know how to dismantle it!"
"A mafia boss must be prepared for anything. But if you can't handle it, you can die." The arcobaleno patted his small gun with an glint that Tsuna knew all too well.
"N-no! I can handle it!" The boy cried, waving his hands wildly.
The small hitman nodded. "I see. Well, you have five seconds."
"Hiiee?"
"Four."
"Gyah!" Tsuna reached under the bed wildly. "H-ha? Wait! The red one? Or the blue one?"
"Three."
"W-wait! Reborn!"
"Two."
"WAAAAAAAH!"
"One."
The poor future Vongola boss could only cry out in despair and shut his eyes. There goes his life before him!
...
...
...
Tsuna slowly opened his brown eyes wide and blinked in utter confusion. What happened? Why didn't the bomb go off?
"Tenth! Look at what I found under your bed! It's obviously an assassination attempt! I wonder who could have tried this! Tell me who they are! I'll chase them down for you!" A tall figure stood at the door of his room, waving his hands wildly. In one hand grip, he held up the bomb, dismantled. The lights of the sun suddenly became a lot brighter with the boy's enthusiasm. Bright green eyes gleamed as he began ranting on how dare the enemies tried to attack the tenth, and it must have been Varia, or perhaps it was that darn Namimori prefect Hibari, or that no good Kokuyo gang!
The tenth Vongola-to-be just drowned out all of Gokudera's words and gasped out in relief. He was spared! Wait, Gokudera dismantled it! "G-Gokudera-kun! How did you do it?"
"Huh? Oh this? Well, aren't you supposed to cut the whole thing?"
"What? That's just crazy!"
"No, Tenth, really! With this sort of arrangement, it's best to cut off the whole thing. Whoever designed it knew that if only one wire's cut, it would still explode because of the other back up wires. Well, except for this one." Gokudera said happily, pointing out the base wire which was still connected. "If I cut this, it would have exploded regardless." He proclaimed, proud of his accomplishment. "Of course YOU knew that, Tenth! You're so brilliant, leaving it for the last second to strike! But before you could dismantle, I did..." The silver headed teen paused in horrified realization. Suddenly he was at Tsuna's feet, sobbing. "Gaaah! I'm so sorry, Tenth! I stole your glory!"
"A-ah! Gokudera-kun! Don't cry! I'm really glad you did it!" Tsuna cried out with sweat drops flying, trying to console his friend. "Really, I am!"
At that, Gokudera blinked back his sobs. "You mean it, Tenth? I'm not disappointing you?"
"Yeah! I'm really proud of you, Gokuder- AH!" shrieked the brunette, putting every man in shame, and he was immediately put in a head lock by the taller boy.
"I'm so glad, Tenth! I'll work extra hard today!" Gokudera noogied his boss in vigor for a few seconds, releasing him soon after.
"Mah. That was interesting." commented Reborn lightly.
"Ah! Reborn-san! You wouldn't happen to know who set the bomb, would you?" The smokin' bomb asked.
"I have no clue whatsoever." was the reply.
All Tsuna could think was... LIAR!
"That culprit is good, whoever he is... To have escaped the eyes of Reborn-san!" nodded Gokudera.
'This is hopeless. Urgh.' thought the Vongola heir.
"So. The reason that I called Gokudera over is because of a very important thing that I must discuss with only him and you, Tsuna." The arcobaleno was suddenly solemn, sitting down on the floor mat.
Gokudera and Tsuna imitated the move, only to find that they were sitting on clothes instead. Quickly they tossed them in a corner and looked over at Reborn.
"The time for the traditional Vongolian family bachelor/-ette conversion event is beginning."
Gokudera blinked tilting his head, allowing his silver locks to fall to his left. A frown then laced itself on his face, his forehead crinkled, and his eyes narrowed into slits. He didn't like it. Not one bit.
"Eh? Bachelor converting?" Tsuna questioned in confusion.
Reborn held up a finger. "Ah let me clarify. 'Singles' converting to 'Couples' event."
"W-what?"
The arcobaleno continued, "Basically according to tradition, a hat full of the names of the current Vongolian family is drawn by one anonymous person randomly picked from the street to avoid biased picking or cheating and so on. Of course, the drawing takes place in a fairly far off area to avoid that person from invading." Reborn patted Leon slowly. "Whoever's drawn is exposed to the rest of the Mafia world as 'available', and thus everyone is encouraged to make that one family member in a couple."
Gokudera's eyes slid further into tinier slits. "And who's name was picked?"
"I was getting to that, but first let me explain further on the event." Reborn's pat on Leon became a rhythm of some sort. Pat pat. Pat pat. "The rules displayed are this: The bachelor/-ette is never the Vongolian boss."
At this the dynamite user and Vongola boss relaxed.
"The boss of Vongola is usually to busy for such affairs against his own time, thus he/she is exempt. Moving on, anyone is a viable candidate to that family member's heart. This includes other families and those who are not part of any mafia." The arcobaleno frowned. "Should the bachelor/-ette end up with someone within the family, all Mafia family participants are required to contribute to 5 million American dollars to the Vongola family. However, should the bachelor/-ette end up with someone outside of the family, someone in the family randomly picked will die and the Vongola family will be forced to give up their rings."
"W-What? Then it's not worth losing to! Why are the consequences so high?" Tsuna cried out.
"Well, that's how confident everyone is in the Vongola family." answered Reborn cheerfully. "But, this time, it's a special case. I have specifically requested that mention of the bachelor/-ette would remain hidden. Apart from the person who told me and you two, I have entrusted the information to another person."
At that, Tsuna's door was suddenly opened with a certain white haired boxer enthusiastically rushing in. "Don't worry! I kept the end of my bargain TO THE EXTREME! I HAVE NOT TOLD ANYONE THAT THE BACHELOR/-ETTE IS NONE OTHER THAN GOKUDERA!"
Tsuna squeaked in horror. "Big brother!" He had just announced it to the world!
A certain Hayato was suddenly burning... Bursting into flames. His eyes grew wide. His pupils dilated. His teeth became gritted. "You... IDIOT!"
Ryohei had his lights punched out... To the extreme.
"Hm. The situation is bad. Now that Ryohei has announced the bachelor, everyone's going to make a move." Reborn commented. "Oh well." He held out his hand. "Since my plans to hide the bachelor is foiled, you might as well wear this as part of tradition, Gokudera."
The boy stiffened at the object handed to him. "Ah... Reborn-san... I don't mean any disrespect, but what's this?" The storm guardian fingered red lace and inscribed metal. Tracing the inscription, Gokudera noticed the symbol to be that of Vongola.
"That's your bachelor hair tie. Usually if the bachelor doesn't have long hair, they wear it on their wrist to prevent others from seeing, but since you do have sufficient locks, you'll have to wear it in your hair." Reborn nodded. "For example, I've heard that the pigtail hairstyle was quite popular."
"P-pigtail? Gokudera can't wear it like that!" protested Tsuna.
"If it's for the tenth, I'll do it!"
"Gokudera-kun! You don't have to!"
Ten minutes later due to Tsuna's insistence, it was then decided that Hayato Gokudera will wear it as a ponytail. The Storm guardian sighed, but complied nonetheless. Reborn proceeded to explain further details of the system of pursuit, of which Gokudera's face turned into the color of his hair.
"Wh-what?"
"Indeed. Any person can strike at just about any time. Your only haven would be at home, given that you've never gave out consent. Furthermore, should you end up with no one..." Reborn then solemnly stopped for a moment, face covered by the rim of his hat.
The dynamite user gulped, leaning forward. "What happens?"
Reborn then thrusted Leon forth, who quickly changed to a gun, and he held the gun bullet point at the silver head. "All arcobaleno are to destroy you on sight."
Tsuna inwardly shrieked. Wha? Gokudera's going to have death by babies? And not ordinary babies! Arcobaleno! This included Reborn, Viper, Collonello, and... possibly others!
Gokudera narrowed his eyes and nodded solemnly. "If it means honoring the Tenth, I'll do it."
The small mafia hitman swirled his gun in his hand, having Leon transform back and crawl back to his hat, satisfied with his answer. "Well, that's good. Fortunately for you, Gokudera, there is a time limit to how long this event will last."
The Vongola head leaned forward, "Really? How long before things will be normal for Gokudera-kun?"
"He has 3 months to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, Vongola boss excluded." The mafia hitman then hopped out the window, leaving Tsuna and Gokudera with wide gaping mouths.
"B-boyfriend?"
"Did he just say what I thought he said, Tenth?"
"Gokudera-kun! This is bad! If it were just girls, it wouldn't be much of a problem, but guys?"
"Tenth! What should I do?" wailed Gokudera helplessly.
"I-I don't know!" replied Tsuna moaning. "Maybe we can hide you!"
"Hide? Only cowards hide!" Ryohei, who was knocked out during the entire conversation, was finally recovered. He held up his fists and declared, "If you're truly man enough, you'll fight them! To the extreme!"
Gokudera scowled twitching. "I wonder if he really would do the same if it was him... Then again with how he is, it probably wouldn't make a difference."
The Vongola boss to be could only laugh nervously. "A-anyway! Maybe we can hide you and we'll figure something out!"
"O-okay Tenth! Then who?"
"Who?"
"Yes! Who should I have for a girlfriend?"
Tsuna widened his eyes. "K-K"
"Kyoko?"
"No! Not Kyoko! Not her!" Sawada Tsunayoshi butted in quickly, shaking his head rapidly and sweatdropping. He was really taken aback by the question Gokudera asked earlier, explaining his Kuh-kuh-ing.
"Haru?"
"Maybe."
"No way, Tenth. I can't." Gokudera said, crossing his forearms into an X.
"Chrome...?"
Gokudera blinked his bright green eyes. Chrome? Why hadn't he thought of her? Eh, it's a possibility... Mentally the Vongola storm guardian placed her as a potential candidate, but only as a back up. She might not be interested, after all. He scrunched his eyes in thought. "Hm..."
"Hey, Reborn said that it starts now, right?"
Gokudera nodded.
"S-so, shouldn't you be at home? It's the safest place, isn't it?" Tsuna suggested tentatively.
That does it! The Tenth isn't a boss, but a GOD!
"Tenth! You're brilliant! Of course! I should just stay home for the rest of the day!" cried Hayato happily. He raised his arms high above his head. "Hooray!"
"Yay!" Tsuna cried happy as well, imitating the same thing. He then paused. "Ah, but first we're going to have to put you in disguise, Gokudera-kun."
Hayato frowned in thought. "Yes, but... What kind of disguise?"
Ryohei then piped, "THIS." He held up Sawada's blanket.
"That's WAY too suspicious!" Shouted Gokudera as he grasped the blanket and threw it on the bed. "Anything else, genius?"
Ryohei frowned. Then lighted up as an idea popped into his mind. "If not that, then THIS!" He held up a cardboard box which had two holes punched in as eye holes. "I saw it used by someone named Solid Snake! After he put it on, no one could see him!"
"O-onii-san, that's a video game!" Tsuna said twitching slightly. He was taking advice from a game?
"Huh... Then..." The guardian of the Sun then thought for a bit more. And then... He GOT it! "You can do this!" Within seconds, Ryohei whipped out a black curly haired wig, sunglasses, a peace necklace, a long sleeved purple polyester shirt, platform shoes, and a watch.
"Th-That!" Gokudera cried freaked out. "What is that?"
"What? It's a great style! Seriously manly! This afro could fit your head, I think." The boxer commented.
"As if I'll wear that." scowled the dynamite user crossing his arms. "No freakin' way."
As it was, nothing was going anywhere, or so it seems. Ryohei was suddenly hit by one very good idea. "THIS." He held up a blond wig, sunglasses, spare jeans and a blue t-shirt.
Hayato stared for a moment before grinning. "I take everything... But the shirt." A shirt that happened to say, "I AM NOT Gokudera Hayato... Believe it."
Tsuna, relieved that his friend is finally going under disguise, nodded. "Put it on."
Upon minutes later, Gokudera came under cover. He scowled as Ryohei earnestly exclaimed that it was like an extreme spy job, but grinned as Tsuna looked at him worried. "Don't worry Tenth! Nothing's going to happen!" He said gruffly as the three of them went outside on the way to Gokudera's house. He looked back and forth the houses warily though. Anyone could strike at any time.
It was agreed that for the best, Gokudera must attempt to change his tone of voice, in case of anyone recognizing him by sound. Tsuna was extra worried though, as the dynamite user insisted on continuing to call him Tenth. Sometimes his loyalty is just too much to handle, leading to trouble. But still, it should be fine. The brunette looked up at Gokudera. From his view, no one would recognize him at all! This was great!
But then it all happened so quickly that none of the three could stop it. Gokudera never saw any indication of the invisible string laid out in front of him, and so he fell in an inelegant heap. Blond wig slipped away revealing silver grey locks, and sunglasses became tilted on his nose, showing dazed green eyes.
"Ah! Are you alright, Gokudera-kun? HIEEK!" Tsuna yelped as a familiar silver knife nearly grazed his cheek.
Laughter mocked the three, practically surrounding them. Ryohei narrowed his eyes. "There!" With one swift punch to a nearby wall, rubble instantly was made. There was a presence, but it suddenly disappeared in the smoke.
"VOI! Over here!" was the dreaded cackle, and all three boys turned slowly at the voice.
Gokudera gasped widening his eyes. Varia!
And there they all were, laughing at the three, as Xanxus stood proudly, a cruel smirk laced his lips.
Coral: Le gasp! Varia's in this! What will happen? Review and find out! Review please. :D