This is obviously Alternate Universe. This story was written about five years ago in the back rows of Year Nine maths class. I hadn't been bothered to edit it. But I changed my mind and I thought it would read better if it was written properly.
Hudson was in a _really_ bad mood. Ensign Wolenczak had been giving him the shits. The teenager had been playing games on his pocket computer whilst on duty and not paying any attention to what he was being told to do unless it was of absolute importance. Hudson had decided that, as punishment, he was going to give Lucas really boring jobs to do for the rest of the week. Unfortunately, because the jobs were so boring, it also meant that they were done quickly and so Lucas was constantly bugging him for more to do.
"Right," Hudson had had enough of his annoying Ensign, "Wolenczak, clean out the torpedo tubes."
"But sir, there's nothing in there," By this time they had made their way towards the room and Lucas was peering inside the torpedo tube.
Hudson pulled his worn out face and searched his pockets, finding a gum wrapper. He threw the gum wrapper into the tube, "Now there is," he stated, annoyed.
Lucas obediently and naively crawled into the tube to fetch the gum wrapper. Once he was well inside, Hudson slammed the door and ran onto the bridge, "Fire torpedoes!"
The crew stared at Hudson, confused. Ford walked over to the captain, noticing that Lucas was missing, "Sir, where's Lucas?"
"He's in his quarters," Hudson replied, fobbing him off.
"I'll just go check," Ford eyed Hudson suspiciously.
Hudson ignored Ford, "Fire torpedoes!" he said quickly.
"At what, sir?" O'Neill asked, wondering what had gotten into his Captain - this time.
"Uuuuum......that dolphin out there."
"But sir, that's Darwin!" O'Neill replied shocked.
"I don't care, fire them anyway." Eagar to please, the crew reluctantly fired the torpedoes and Darwin exploded into thousands of pieces.
Hudson stared at the screen, confused. He had been expecting his irritating little pretty boy Ensign to have been flying out into the ocean. Not actual torpedoes, "Did we just fire torpedoes?" he asked.
The crew were extremely confused, "Of course, Sir. Isn't that what you just asked us to do?" Piccolo spoke up.
Hudson's mouth twitched and he looked annoyed, "Damn!"
Just at this moment, Ford returned, "Sir, Lucas isn't in his quarters."
"Oh," Hudson replied innocently, "Check the torpedo tubes."
Ford and Hudson walked into the room and Hudson selected the torpedo tube next to the one Lucas was in, tube 6. Hudson opened the door, "He's in there," he said, pointing, "See."
Just as Ford peered in to look, Hudson pushed him in and slammed the door shut. He ran onto the bridge, "Fire torpedoes!"
"But Sir, isn't Commander Ford inside the tube?" O'Neill enquired.
"Quick! Go save him!" Hudson replied sarcastically.
O'Neill immediately got up and ran down into the torpedo room, conveniently crawling into the tube next to Ford.
Hudson, believing he had three of his most annoying crew members in the torpedo tubes, called out excitedly, "Fire torpedos!"
"Uh, sir..." Piccolo began.
Hudson gave Tony an evil stare, "Are you questioning my authority?"
"Uh," Tony considered his position and the situation, "No, sir," he replied fearfully, flicking the switch.
O'Neill and Ford flew out of the remaining tubes and exploded under the water pressure. Lucas, on the other hand, went flying around to loading dock three. He crawled out and made his way back onto the bridge, dripping wet.
" Sir," he called out to Hudson, "when I was in the torpedo tube I lost my watch."
"Oh," Hudson smiled evilly, "Go check in the garbage compactor."
Authors note (I had to stick one of these in): Shame on those who take this seriously.
Hudson was in a _really_ bad mood. Ensign Wolenczak had been giving him the shits. The teenager had been playing games on his pocket computer whilst on duty and not paying any attention to what he was being told to do unless it was of absolute importance. Hudson had decided that, as punishment, he was going to give Lucas really boring jobs to do for the rest of the week. Unfortunately, because the jobs were so boring, it also meant that they were done quickly and so Lucas was constantly bugging him for more to do.
"Right," Hudson had had enough of his annoying Ensign, "Wolenczak, clean out the torpedo tubes."
"But sir, there's nothing in there," By this time they had made their way towards the room and Lucas was peering inside the torpedo tube.
Hudson pulled his worn out face and searched his pockets, finding a gum wrapper. He threw the gum wrapper into the tube, "Now there is," he stated, annoyed.
Lucas obediently and naively crawled into the tube to fetch the gum wrapper. Once he was well inside, Hudson slammed the door and ran onto the bridge, "Fire torpedoes!"
The crew stared at Hudson, confused. Ford walked over to the captain, noticing that Lucas was missing, "Sir, where's Lucas?"
"He's in his quarters," Hudson replied, fobbing him off.
"I'll just go check," Ford eyed Hudson suspiciously.
Hudson ignored Ford, "Fire torpedoes!" he said quickly.
"At what, sir?" O'Neill asked, wondering what had gotten into his Captain - this time.
"Uuuuum......that dolphin out there."
"But sir, that's Darwin!" O'Neill replied shocked.
"I don't care, fire them anyway." Eagar to please, the crew reluctantly fired the torpedoes and Darwin exploded into thousands of pieces.
Hudson stared at the screen, confused. He had been expecting his irritating little pretty boy Ensign to have been flying out into the ocean. Not actual torpedoes, "Did we just fire torpedoes?" he asked.
The crew were extremely confused, "Of course, Sir. Isn't that what you just asked us to do?" Piccolo spoke up.
Hudson's mouth twitched and he looked annoyed, "Damn!"
Just at this moment, Ford returned, "Sir, Lucas isn't in his quarters."
"Oh," Hudson replied innocently, "Check the torpedo tubes."
Ford and Hudson walked into the room and Hudson selected the torpedo tube next to the one Lucas was in, tube 6. Hudson opened the door, "He's in there," he said, pointing, "See."
Just as Ford peered in to look, Hudson pushed him in and slammed the door shut. He ran onto the bridge, "Fire torpedoes!"
"But Sir, isn't Commander Ford inside the tube?" O'Neill enquired.
"Quick! Go save him!" Hudson replied sarcastically.
O'Neill immediately got up and ran down into the torpedo room, conveniently crawling into the tube next to Ford.
Hudson, believing he had three of his most annoying crew members in the torpedo tubes, called out excitedly, "Fire torpedos!"
"Uh, sir..." Piccolo began.
Hudson gave Tony an evil stare, "Are you questioning my authority?"
"Uh," Tony considered his position and the situation, "No, sir," he replied fearfully, flicking the switch.
O'Neill and Ford flew out of the remaining tubes and exploded under the water pressure. Lucas, on the other hand, went flying around to loading dock three. He crawled out and made his way back onto the bridge, dripping wet.
" Sir," he called out to Hudson, "when I was in the torpedo tube I lost my watch."
"Oh," Hudson smiled evilly, "Go check in the garbage compactor."
Authors note (I had to stick one of these in): Shame on those who take this seriously.