I apologize (sincerely, absolutely apologize) if there's any OOCness.
It was hard to get this to work without Kidd ending up attacking Nami.

Originally, the plan was- get hostage, collect ransom, kick ass, sail away with a fist held high in triumph.

Now the plan was- get hostage, shut up hostage, find hostage (who wandered off), shut up hostage, resist to kill hostage.

Was she even a hostage anymore?

Hah. More like an "honored guest".

"Your ship smells like shit, you know that?" the copper-head wrinkled her nose, strolling leisurely through the hall, ignoring the rocking of the ship.

"Shut the fuck up, woman!" Kidd barked, trailing behind her.

"Ngyah." the girl stuck her tongue out at the Supernova. Kidd growled and resisted the urge to strangle her. Strawhat would be pissed enough that his navigator had been kidnapped- Kidd knew better than to actually hurt her. He'd seen the hat kid in action.

But it wasn't his damn fault that his crew was running low on cash. Surely Strawhat could spare some gold or something in exchange for his crewmate. No biggie.

"Fucking girlie." Kidd muttered, keeping an eye on the copper-head as to make sure she didn't try anything stupid.

"You know, I have a name. It's Nami." she scowled.

"Like I give a damn!" Kidd snapped.

"You've seriously got to get an attitude adjustment. Jeez, you're worse than Zoro." Nami said. She paused by a splintery wooden door that had metal spikes coated in dried blood driven through. "What's this? Your bathroom, or what?"

"My cabin. Stay out of it, if you know what's good for you." Kidd narrowed his eyes at her.

"I wasn't doing anything." Nami smiled, holding up her hands.

"Don't you even care that I've taken you away from your fucking crew?" Kidd asked in exasperation, unnerved by Nami's casual demeanor.

"Not really. They'll come later and we'll all kick your ass." Nami calmly said, continuing down the hall.

"Somebody's a little confident." Kidd rolled his eyes, crossing his arms.

"And you're confident that we'll give you a ransom. Bullshit! Like I'll give you my treasures!" Nami shot at him.

"Just shut the fuck up! You're getting on my nerves!"

"Oh, I'm getting on your nerves! You're the one who freaking kidnapped me!"

"If I'd known how much of a noisy bitch you'd be, I would have aimed for that other chick!"

"Don't you bring Robin into this!"

"I'll say anything I want about any of your fucking crewmates!"

"Arrgh!" Nami threw her hands up in frustration and stormed away.

"Like hell I'm letting you wander around my ship by yourself!" Kidd yelled. He thrust out a hand and Nami was suddenly yanked back by the metal clip on her belt. Kidd tucked her under one arm like a football, ignoring her indignant protesting, and marched off to the upper deck.

"Captain, there's no sign of the Thousand Sunny within a three kilometer radius." a scraggly man with sullen eyes informed him.

"Fucking idiot probably got lost without his navigator." Kidd muttered under his breath. Nami stopped struggling in Kidd's grip.

"Crap! My crew can't get by without me! Let me go, you idiot! Put me down!" Nami demanded, flailing with all her might.

"And where will you go, hah?"

"Off this freakish metal death trap of this ship, that's where!" Nami shouted. She twisted around and bit down hard on Kidd's forearm. He bellowed and let go, trying to shake her off.

"FUCK!" Kidd roared. "GET OFF!"

Nami spat out his arm and stepped back, spitting vigorously. "You taste awful."

"Killer!" Kidd called to his passing first mate. The masked man paused, where he was on his way to the galley. "Killer, you're in charge of the hostage while I attend to other matters. Got it?"

Killer nodded and took hold of one of Nami's arms in a secure grip. Kidd glared at the defiant copper-head and stalked away to get a beer.

-X-

"Captain, the hostage has stolen Chute's chains."

"What?"

"Chute is trying to kill her."

"That fucking idiot!" Kidd stood up and slammed his mug on the table, cracking the gnarled wood. "You were supposed to be watching her, Killer."

"She slipped away." Killer shrugged.

Kidd muttered something under his breath and marched past Killer. He slammed the door open and found one of his crewmates trying to impale the agile girl with a large sword.

"Chute!" Kidd barked.

"Yeah, cap'n?" the man grunted, swinging his sword again. Nami ducked and rolled out of the way, holding a bunch of silver chains in one fist.

"The hell do you think you're doing?"

"She stole my chains!" Chute protested.

"Then just get them back, moron!" Kidd held out a hand and the chains flew out of Nami's grasp.

"Hey!" Nami protested.

"Listen, girlie, do you really want to get on my bad side?"

"Hm. I thought I already did." Nami grinned.

Kidd wordlessly walked over and slung her over his shoulder.

"Cap'n?"

"What!" Kidd glared at him. Nami squirmed, hitting him with her fists though he hardly noticed.

"... Nuthin."

-X-

"I thought you and Luffy got along fine!" Nami huffed, sitting on the gritty bed. Kidd's cabin was decorated with all sorts of macabre things. Nami couldn't tell if the skulls on the walls were real or not.

They were probably real.

"Like hell we did." Kidd snorted, pacing back and forth.

"I'm bored."

"Whaddya want me to do about it?"

"Entertain me. After all, I am your guest."

"Like hell you are."

"Do you have any food?"

"No."

"Water?"

"No."

"Can I go outside?"

"Fuck no."

"What about-"

"Dammit, shut up!" Kidd roared.

"Like hell I will." Nami said, imitating Kidd's low voice.

"If your captain wasn't a strong pirate, I would've gutted you hours ago."

"Ah! So you admit he can kick your ass!"

"SHUT UP!"

"You know, I'm probably going to be here for a while. My crew is hopeless without me."

"Fuckin' A."