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Not mine.

Ranger's POV

"Tell me again how this happened?" I asked Lester and Bobby as they sat in the emergency room. Stephanie giggled and I turned to look at her.

"You're pinching the bridge of your nose like you do when you're really annoyed. It's cute."
"Glad you think so." I said, giving her a wink.

She blushed. God, she looked so adorable when she blushed. Especially when…

"Well, we were feeling antsy…" Lester started, drawing me out of a Stephanie fanasty.

"We?"

"Me and Hal."

"Continue."

"And so we decided to tape Bobby's butt cheeks together."

"Like from The Breakfast Club?" Stephanie asked.

"Yep."

I turned to her. "I like that movie." She said, shrugging.

"Go on." I said.

"But Bobby wasn't having any of that so he rammed into the shower and turned it on full blast, hence the burns on his back and my arm. But then he slipped away from us and landed somehow in the toilet. While he was trying to escape he gave himself a swirlie and a concussion all in one flush. That's when Hal rushed us here."

"And what's with the hand cuffs?"

"I cuffed myself to him to try to subdue him. Didn't work so well. We don't have a key here. Hal forgot it."

"You two deserved to be cuffed together."

Lester opened his mouth to argue. I held up a hand.

"I don't know what's worse, that you thought of this plan or that we're actually in the hospital because of it. Bobby, after you're fit for duty, you'll have self defense retraining so you can fight Santos off. As for you and Hal, you two will be meeting me on the mats at five for a month and then cleaning the men's locker room with a toothbrush."

"But…!"
"Do you under stand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Yes, sir."
The nurse came in at that moment. "Kinky?" She asked Stephanie.

"Hardly." She replied, rolling her eyes.

"Well, I need you two to wait outside."

I nodded and took Stephanie's hand and walked us to the waiting room.

"So much for early morning sex."

I smiled. "There's still time for that."

"If you think I'm going to get up earlier for sex, then you're sorely mistaken."

I'd figure it out somehow.

"I think the waiting room is going to be my second home."

"Babe."

"I spend more time here than anywhere else."

True. "Do you need anything?"

"Nah, I'm good."

I nodded. "I'll call Tank, tell him he's in charge."

She nodded and picked up a magazine.

I walked outside and called Tank.

"Yo." He said.

"I'm at the hospital. Everything seems to be under control."

"Good. Those two are morons." He said, chuckling. "But Bobby's got style getting a swirlie and a concussion."

I mentally rolled my eyes. I wasn't even sure that was possible. "You're in charge until I get these dumbasses settled."

"Copy that." He hung up. I walked back to Stephanie, who smiled when she felt me approach.

I still couldn't believe that she was mine. It amazes me when I wake up in bed and she's still there; that it wasn't a dream. I laced my fingers in hers and she kissed the back of my hand.

"You were a little harsh, don't you think?"

"They'll get over it." I shook my head.

Seven months later; Stephanie's POV

"Where is he?" I asked the first man in black I came to.

"Uh…" The man began to sweat.

"Spit it out!"

It looked like he was going to faint. I felt like I was going to throw up.

A phone call in the middle of the night from Ranger, one that was inexplicably cut off in the middle would make anyone want to throw up.

Two months ago, we had a small scare.

"Hello?" I asked groggily.

"Stephanie? It's Tank."
"Hey Tank, what's up?"

"It's Ranger."

I sat up in bed. "What's wrong?"

"It was shot by a skip. He's in surgery now."

Oh God. "Is it bad? Is anyone else hurt?"

"No one else was hurt. Stephanie, they don't how bad it really is until they get in there."

"I'm on my way." We hung up.

He told me this would happen. This was why he didn't do relationships. He always knew that there would be a time that he might not come home.

I dreamed it would never happen.

This was turning into my worst nightmare.

"How is he?" I asked when I found Tank on the surgery wing.

"They're still working."

I nodded. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Joe hovering.

"What the hell is he doing here?" I asked.

"He's here to take statements."

I nodded again. He wouldn't be bothering me.

Apparently not.

"Hey Cup…Stephanie."

"Joe."

"Where's Manoso?'

"Surgery."

"He lives a dangerous life. It was only a matter of time he got himself shot. I can't believe he's…"

"You stop right there, Joe Morelli. I've tolerated you this long. I hoped that we could be friends, but apparently not. That man will always be twice the man you ever are. He makes sure that I'm safe. He believes in me in a way that you never did. And right now, he's my only priority right now. So please take your statements and leave."

He stared at me for a moment. "You really love him."

"I do."
"You love him in a way that you never loved me."

"Joe…"

"No, I get it." He paused. "I hope that maybe someday we can be friends, but not now. You're a hard woman to get over, Stephanie Plum."

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Joe…I…"

"Stephanie Plum?" The surgeon asked.

"That's me."

He walked over and looked at Tank for a second.

"He's okay." I said.

The surgeon nodded. "Mr. Manoso's gun shot wound entered the chest and nicked his lung. Since he got here in time, we were able to get the bullet out and re-inflate the lung before any more damage could be done. He'll have the chest tube for a couple of days, but as long as he keeps improving, then he'll be able to go home."

"Can I see him now?"

"He's still out, but sure."

I turned to Tank. "Keep a guard posted, but send everyone else home. I'll call you when he wakes up."

Tank nodded and smirked at me.

"What?"
"Ranger couldn't have picked a better woman to love. You're doing great, Bomber."

I smiled and hugged him. "Thanks, big guy."

He nodded once and left. I walked over to Ranger's room and gasped. Ranger looked pale. His chest was bare except the bandage around his chest tube. I sat down next to him and took his hand.

A few hours later, Ranger woke up.

"Don't scare me like that." I said, kissing his forehead.

"Sorry."

"I don't know what I would do without you."

He cupped my face in his hand. I kissed it. "I love you."

"I love you too, Babe."

Thankfully, now, he still had his GPS on.

"Hal, what's his twenty?" I asked after hanging up the phone.

I heard tapping. "St. Francis."

That could mean two reasons. I was hoping it was the good one.

"If he's in a room dying, so help me…"

"Stephanie, thank God." Tank said, walking up to us.

"Tank! Is Ranger…?"

"He's fine. He went to park the car."

I let out a sigh of relief. Arms wrapped around me. Ranger's.

"Jeez. Make some noise."

"This is more fun." He said, kissing my neck.

"Lula's asking for you."

"Oh no, I'm not going in there. She's scary right now."

"She said, and I quote, 'if you don't get her skinny ass in here, I'm never going to talk to her again. I need my BFF. And I'll never get any from her again'."

"Sound familiar?" Ranger whispered.

I punched him in the gut. "Fine." I sighed. I walked to Lula's room.

"It's about time you showed up, while girl!" Lula panted.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"As well as labor would go."

Tank and Lula decided to try to work things out only a few weeks later, she was pregnant. They say it only takes one time…

I've never seen either of them so happy before. They really work well together.

"I figured you'd want Tank."

"Nuh huh. I want to be able to get some lovin' after this. If he sees this, he'll never touch me again. Besides, I need my BFF."

I mentally sighed. "That's why I'm here."

"Okay, are we ready to push?" The doctor asked.

"HELL YES!"

Hours later, I went back to the waiting room. "Tank, she's asking for you."

He nodded and ran to the room. I sat down next to Ranger. "It's a girl." I said.

He took my hand. "That's great. That'll knock him down a few pegs."

I nodded, but didn't answer.

"Babe?"

"That was scary. And wonderful. And painful."

"If it was easy, they wouldn't have called it labor."

I rolled my eyes. "Duh. But it's worth it."

Ranger looked at me. "You want one?"

"It's a scam! They look all cute and cuddly and make your biological clock tick. Loudly."

He smirked. "That didn't answer my question."

I looked at him and smiled. "Someday…"

Ten months after that…

"Where is he?" I screamed.

"He'll be here." Tank said, trying to soothe me.

"Oh no. This is his fault. He needs to be here so I can cut off his balls."

Tank paled. "He just called and said the plane just landed. He'll be here."

"He better be." I muttered.

"You're scary in labor."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I'll…I'll get ice chips." Tank stuttered, stumbling from the room.

"AND DRUGS!" I yelled after him.

Yep, it was my turn in the delivery room.

Damn Batman sperm.

After Lula gave birth, Ranger and I talked a little more about having kids. We decided that maybe one day, we'd like one, but if it never happened, that'd be okay too.

That night, somehow, somehow, he got me pregnant.

Damn Batsperm.

Lula was excited. She figures now our kids can grow up together and be the best of friends.

I don't know what to think about that.

"Hey Babe." Ranger said, kissing my forehead.

"Stay away, this is your fault."

He looked confused. "My fault?"

"Your sperm got to my egg through a condom and my birth control! How the hell did that happen?"

He smiled widely. "I'm magic."

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

A contraction hit. "Right now? Yes, I do."

"That's the pain talking."

"Are you sure?"

He looked at me for a moment.

A few hours later, I was still in labor.
"Now, I want you dead." I said to him, after a very painful contraction hit.

"Babe."

Eventually, I was allowed to push. Finally, is more like it. I was so over being in labor. I just wanted the kid out.

"By the way, I'm going back to Bounty Hunting after the baby's out." I gasped between pushes.

"Oh yeah? Before or after the funeral?"

I looked questioningly at him.

"Because it'll be over my dead body."

Ha ha. Funny man. I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, PUSH!" The doctor said.

A few hours after that, I finally gave birth to our son. Ranger couldn't have been more proud than at that moment. He looked like a kid in a candy store as he cut the cord.

"You did amazing, Babe. I love you." He kissed my sweaty forehead, bringing our son over for me to hold.

"Love you too." I lay back down on the bed. "Please tell me this is the last time I'll see a waiting room for a long time?"

"Babe."

The End.