A/N: Random one-shot that came to mind during a conversation with my friend Richard.

Alex winced as the bright sunlight filtering in through the windows stung his sleepy eyes. He opened them for only a moment, a sliver of the chocolate brown iris visible before squeezing them shut again and turning his head away. He felt hot breath blow into his face and grimaced slightly, until he remembered who his bed mate was. Opening his eyes for the second time that morning, he smiled at the slumbering SAS officer lying beside him – although beside him is a term used in the loosest context possible, as most of his body was actually on top of Alex.

The blonde boy admired his lover for a few moments longer before glancing at the clock. He groaned inwardly as he noted it was half-past seven and he had to get ready for school, then began the difficult labour of removing the other man's heavy limbs that were so possessively encasing him. When Alex finally disentangled himself from Wolf's limbs, he padded out into the hall and then in the bathroom, flicking on the light – and staring in shock at his reflection. The silence didn't last long.

"WOLF!"

A loud thump and a muffled curse informed Alex that the elder man had fallen out of the bed and woken up. Not content with waiting for Wolf to pick himself up and see what the problem was, Alex turned on his heel and raced back into his bedroom, glaring at the prone form of the soldier crawling out from underneath the duvet to stare at him.

"What is it?" he demanded, surlier than usual at the abrupt awakening. Alex glowered at him and gestured at his neck. "This is the problem!"

Wolf peered more closely at the teenager and smirked slightly at his handiwork. Alex seethed, the image of the love-bite on his neck etched vividly into his mind. "Did you have to do that? How the hell do you expect me to explain how I got this? I've got to be at school soon! It's not funny!" he added furiously as Wolf just laughed at him.

Wolf shrugged, now cheerful despite the rude interruption to his pleasant dream. "By now, Alex, I don't think the kids in that place will even notice what's worse with you."

"That's not the point." Alex snapped. "I mean, honestly, why would you bite me? I'm not edible! And if you were hungry we could've gotten a take-out or something."

Wolf's grin, if possible, grew even larger. "You telling me nobody else has given you a hickey before? It never fails to surprise me how sweet and innocent you are, even with all the missions and crap."

"I am not sweet and innocent!" Alex shouted, a vein beginning to twitch in his forehead to show his displeasure at Wolf's attitude. Only the SAS man could make Alex react so drastically; if it were anybody else, he would just stare at them or say something insulting.

"What's all the shouting about?" a half-drowsy voice inquired and both males looked around to see Jack standing in the doorway, still in her dressing gown, though, bizarrely, she carried a feather duster at her hip for no apparent reason.

"Oh great," Wolf grumbled. Jack may allow Wolf to come to the house to visit Alex and even spend the night, but she had never approved of their relationship and she wasn't exactly subtle in letting them know. Like that moment for instance.

"Wolf!" she barked angrily, having caught sight of the mark marring Alex's pale skin. "What on Earth were you thinking? How can he possibly go to school like that?"

Wolf decided now was a good time to get off the floor and did so, allowing the white duvet to pool around the floor at his feet. "I dunno; put some cover-up on it or something."

Alex blanched. "You want me to wear Jack's makeup?"

Jack was radiating rage. "Isn't it time you were leaving?" she ground out between her teeth stiffly.

Wolf pretended to consider for a moment before saying, "No. I don't think so."

"Well I do!" Alex stared as Jack smacked Wolf in the face with her feather duster, prompting him to erupt in a huge sneezing frenzy, before chasing him out of the room and down the stairs with only the cleaning utensil as a weapon.

Wolf called back to the teenager. "I'll see you tonight, Alex!" before the sound of the door slamming floated up to him, followed by Jack's slower footsteps.

"Why did you do that?" Alex asked, completely dumbstruck by what he had just witnessed. Jack shrugged and said, "You know how I feel about you two. I'm sure you could find someone your own age to have a relationship with, like Sabina-"

"Sabina lives in America now, Jack. Besides, someone else would always question where I was when I go on missions and come back bruised and whatever, plus I'd just feel . . . strange, trying to get serious with some random schoolgirl. Or boy."

"But you feel perfectly normal sleeping with an SAS soldier around ten years older than you?" Jack deadpanned. Alex nodded. "Yes, that's about right."

Jack sighed and rolled her eyes, before seizing her charge's hand and leading him into the bathroom, reaching for her make-up bag. "Hold still while I cover up that mark. I can't believe he did that . . ."

Alex let his guardian carry on with her quiet ranting, silently obeying her command. He didn't want her to pull out that duster again . . .

A/N: I don't think this is too bad considering I've written it in the space of twenty minutes, it's past midnight, it's the first Alex Rider fic I've ever written and I'm exhausted. I apologise for any mistakes I missed; as I said, I'm exhausted.