Small Talk

Two friends, Robbie and Dave the Laugh, sat by the school, having a usual conversation outside in the courtyard...

"Hey, Robbie?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever think about nunga nungas?"

"Dave, that's gross."

"What? Don't act like you don't think about things like that."

"Sure, Dave."

"Every guy thinks about that stuff. Or... are you gay?"

"What...? I'm not gay."

"Of course you're not. It's okay if you don't want to come out of the closet. I'm here for you, mate."

"..."

"But, I'm straight. So... I won't be there for you in that department."

"Dave, you're insane."

"That may be true, but that's what makes me awesome."

""It sure does... it's actually quite amusing."

"Oh yeah. You're the musical, cat-loving ladie's man, and I'm the funny one. Nuf said."

"Yes, that pretty much sums it all up for you."

"Uh-huh."

"Yep."

"Yes sir..."

"..."

"What?"

"This is a pointless conversation."

"But that's what makes us buds! Our pointless small talk!"

"True, very true."

"Hey... can I ask you something, Robbie?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"How come you can get more girls than I can, but I'm the funny one? Girls like a sense of humor!"

"Yes, but they also like maturity and eye candy."

"Are you calling me ugly?"

"It wouldn't kill you to join a gym."

"Oh, so now you're calling me flabby?"

"You just need to get some muscle on those bones."

"Now I'm weak?"

"That's not what I meant-"

"And how come you said girls look for maturity like I'm not mature?"

"Sometimes you can be immature."

"And what exactly do you mean by that?"

"Oh, come on, Dave. This whole conversation started because you talking about nunga nungas!"

"Again with the nunga nungas?"

"You brought it up..."

"... I like my nunga nungas floppy."

"That's what I meant by immaturity."

"Don't act like you never think about it... you were dating a girl with fake boobs, probably just because of their size... those fake ones were pretty big-"

"That's not true, I wasn't dating her because of that. And do you still have those? You know... the fake ones you were speaking of that Jas threw out at you...?"

"... Maybe..."

"And does your new girlfriend know?"

"No, I don't believe Ellen knows..."

"Oh wow."

"Yeah."

"You do realize that is just a little creepy, right?"

"That I kept Lindsey's fake nunga nungas? Yes, I realize this."

"... Dave, you sound like a pedophile."

"That's probably why girls don't like me..."

"Well, why do you care about other girls? You have a girlfriend."

"But it still bothers me that other girls picked you over me... like Georgia."

"But Ellen accepts you as you are. Why do you need to worry about other girls?"

"I don't know... it just bothered me."

"Well, I accept you, mate."

"Really? You mean that?"

"Are you going to start crying?"

"I was being dramatic, idiot."

"Just making sure."

"Yeah, I wasn't really going to cry."

"Okay, thank you."

"..."

"Dave?"

"Huh?"

"You do know that I'll always be your best mate, right?"

"Yes, I know that Robbie. But thanks for reminding me."

"Why did you just put your arm around my shoulders dramatically?"

"I don't really know... just felt like one of those dramatic friendship moments. Like in the movies."

"Okay then."

"Yeah..."

"So, Dave. Shall we now walk dramatically in the distance back to the school?"

"We shall, my friend. We shall..."

"That sounded creepy."

"I know..."