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The title of this fic is taken from the Pink Floyd song "Mother" form the album "The Wall."

At this point in my fanfiction writing career, I like to think that I don't write characters out-of-character, I write them out of their natural habitat. I put them in situations that are so drastically different from where we are used to seeing them and I try to write how I think they would respond and react.

Those of you that speak Portuguese may notice some similarities between this fic and a fic by Contradora. Rest assured, this is a quasi-coinicdence and I've already talked to Contradora about it. Everything's cool.

It was always an ordeal whenever Yoruichi wanted to visit Soifon.

She couldn't simply tell the Chinese woman that she was coming. If she did, then Soifon would drop everything and devote all her time and energy to the ex-Princess. So, Yoruichi had to surprise Soifon.

Tilting her chin upward, Yoruichi spotted the open window to Soifon's office. It was on the second floor, but such a jump would be child's play to her. With effortless grace, Yoruichi leapt upward and silently gripped the window sill. Curling up so that the soles of her feet were on the wall, Yoruichi poised herself to pounce.

"Hey Soi!" Yoruichi sprung half-way through the open window that was positioned behind the stern Captain's desk. However, Yoruichi's sudden greeting was met by a disappointing silence. Frowning, Yoruichi crawled the rest of the way through the window and touched down on the wooden floor of the office.

That's odd, Yoruichi though as she straightened out her clothes, Soi's usually in her office at this hour. Yoruichi looked at a wall clock to confirm the time. It was ten minutes after ten.

Walking up to the oaken desk, Yoruichi examined the papers that were scattered over its lacquered surface. The fresh ink was still gleaming in the morning sun.

Maybe she went to her room for something, Yoruichi shrugged. Quietly, Yoruichi tip-toed over to the shoji that concealed Soifon's bedroom and gently slid it open. The tan Goddess hoped to catch the diminutive woman unawares. Surprising Soifon was always infinitely amusing to Yoruichi.

Unfortunately, the bedroom was empty as well. Frowning, Yoruichi left the bedroom and headed for the main door. Squinting from the sudden burst of sunlight, Yoruichi stepped outside and looked around for any signs of glinting golden rings. All she found was a high purple collar.

"Hey Omeada!" Yoruichi shouted to Soifon's burly Lieutenant.

"What?" Omeada replied through a mouthful of crackers. It was hard to tell through his chewing that he was frowning. He didn't particularly like Yoruichi Shihoin. The fact that Soifon seemed to hang on every word she said and talked about her so often grated on him.

"Where's Soifon?" Yoruichi asked curiously.

"Taicho?" Omeada confirmed. "She said her work load was light enough today for her to take the day off." Omeada extracted another cracker from the bag in his hand and placed it in his mouth. "Said she'll catch up tomorrow."

"Where is she?" Yoruichi looked around, as if Soifon would just magically appear at any moment.

"She said that if there was an emergency, she could be found at her Fon estate." Omeada emphasized the word emergency.

"Thanks," Yoruichi smiled and disappeared.

"Wait!" Omeada called out to Yoruichi. "She said emergencies only!"

Yoruichi bound from tree limb to tree limb at breakneck speed. The Fon estate sat in close proximity to the Shihoin estate. The two were so close that they shared backyards; a lush sakura grove.

Yoruichi was approaching from the east, which allowed her to avoid the main entrance, or any entrance at all for that matter. After a few short minutes of lightning fast shunpo, Yoruichi was met with a tall stone wall that served as the perimeter of the Fon property.

If nothing has changed since I was here last, Yoruichi though to herself, then the Head of the Clan's apartment should be on the other side of this wall. The Fon's, not believing in extravagances, didn't have a central mansion like the Shihoins. The Fon estate was made up of numerous unconnected apartments and barracks.

Concentrating, Yoruichi searched for any signs of Soifon's presence. Just as she expected, she sensed Soifon's reiatsu on the other side of the wall. The normally tense woman's reiatsu felt surprisingly calm.

With cat-like grace, Yoruichi climbed up a nearby tree until she was could see over the wall, making sure to stay hidden behind the leaves.

The Head of the Fon Clan's apartment was nestled away from the rest of the Clan's accommodations so that the Head could be afford some peace solitude, a far cry from the rigorous training that was taking place over the rest of the grounds.

Soifon currently stood next to an older woman in the garden that surrounds the apartment. She was talking to the older woman, all the while her face was shifting back and forth between the older woman and something concealed the wall. Yoruichi's proximity to the barrier didn't allow her to see what was immediately on the other side.

As Soifon talked to the woman, Yoruichi watched her face carefully. It seemed to be struggling with itself. Eventually, the muscles of Soifon's face relented and her lips settled into a small smile.

Soifon ended the conversation with the old woman, who bowed and left. Soifon stood in place for a few moments, just silently watching the unknown thing that was so close to Yoruichi yet remained hidden.

Suddenly, Soifon clapped her hand and shouted something that Yoruichi didn't understand, but sounded like Chinese. A small boy with dark hair came into view, running in the characteristic waddle of a young child, a small red ball in his hand. As the boy approached, Soifon knelt down and scooped him up into a tight embrace.

After she held the boy for a few moments, Soifon put him down and sat down on the grass. She said some more in Chinese and then the boy threw the ball that was in his hand to her. She caught it and lightly threw it back to him. He didn't catch it, and had to chase after the ball as it rolled away. Soifon watch on with an amused smile.

The whole scene that Yoruichi just witness was heartwarmingly confusing to her.

Completely intrigued, Yoruichi began to inch her way closer to the two objects of her attention. The branch she was on overhung the wall, and by now she was completely exposed. However, neither Soifon nor the child seemed to notice her. They were too busy with each other.

Yoruichi was too busy spying to notice that the branch she was on was a dead limb. Without warning, the limb gave way with a loud crack and Yoruichi fell to the earth below. Luckily, her fall was cushioned by a bush.

"Y…Yoruichi-sama?" Soifon asked, the child in her arms and her cheeks red. She grabbed him when she heard the branch break.

"Looks like I'm getting rusty." Yoruichi groaned as she stood up and brushed herself off. Soifon breathed a sigh of relief and loosened her grip upon seeing the lavender haired woman rise from the foliage. "Who's your little friend?" Yoruichi said as she approached Soifon. "A favorite nephew?"

"This is my son, Xiu." Soifon answered, her the redness in her cheeks darkening. Yoruichi's eyes widened in complete and utter shock. "Please join me in my apartment. I'll have a meal prepared for us."

Yoruichi sat at a small table in the dining area of Soifon's apartment, simply watching the two before her. Soifon sat cross-legged as well, only Xiu was in her lap and she was feeding him from her plate. Yoruichi was unable to deny the resemblance, seeing them so close to gether. Xiu had Soifon's eyes and hair.

"Are you alright, Yoruichi-sama?" Soifon asked after she took a bite of food herself. "You haven't touched any of your food?"

"I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that you're a mom." Yoruichi replied.

"Yes, I am too, honestly." Soifon laughed lightly.

"How old is he?" Yoruichi's curiosity finally got the better of her.

"He will be twelve soon." Soifon answered proudly. That was good news to Yoruichi. If we was that old yet appeared to be so young, then that meant that he had a high reiatsu.

"Um…and the father?" Yoruichi asked cautiously.

"About thirty years ago, the Fon's decided that it was time for me to marry." Soifon feed Xiu a small clump of rice. "But my position as the Commander-in-Chief of the Onmitsukido made the prospect of marriage a difficult one. Luckily, since I am the head of my Clan, the Fon elders had their pick of potential grooms. Luck for me, they picked on with an expiration date."

"He was a lower noble man from West Rukongai. He was a young, frail thing. I had far more calluses than him." Soifon smirked. "He contracted some incommunicable disease and his health was failing, though his family did it's best to hide that fact during the negotiations."

"And you didn't object to any of this?" Yoruichi asked incredulously.

"I knew it was going to happen eventually whether I liked it or not." Soifon shrugged."I am obligated to marry and bear an offspring by Fon laws. Fortunately, my position made things easier. I was married in secrecy and before long I was with child."

"I continued at my post until I began to show, then I fabricated an extended mission that the Sotaicho approved." Soifon continued. "I gave birth in secret and returned to my post. You are the only person outside the Fon's that knows about this child. Not even my husband got to see him before he died."

"I...I'm sorry to hear that." Yoruichi consoled.

"Don't be." Soifon replied. "The objective of the whole arrangement was for me to bear an offspring. He was a nice enough man, but there was no love between us." Soifon sipped some tea. "It was strictly business."

"But why all the secrecy?" Yoruichi's furrowed.

"You know how politics is." Soifon replied with a sigh. "The Shihoins have been hounding the Fon's for me to step down and relinquish the Onmitsukido to one of theirs. If they found out that I had a spouse or a child, they would call them distractions and use them as evidence that I am unfit for command."

The two women fell into a comfortable silence that was broken up only by Xiu's cooing.

"It's strange," Soifon mused. "We train our men to denounce attachment. The enlisted men aren't allowed to marry and officers can be severely punished if they are caught fraternizing. But we do it for their own protection. The Onmitsukido has the highest mortality rate of any branch of the military. Death can come at any moment. By preventing attachment, we are sparing the men the agony of loss."

"But there is something to be said about loving someone." Soifon continued, her eyes flicking back and forth between Xiu and Yoruichi as her checks reddened. "It…gives you the strength to do things you never thought possible. Honor and duty are intangible concepts, but a lover or children are real things someone can fight for. When I was pregnant, I was completely prepared to relinquish the child to the Fon elders for rearing. All the suffering he caused me…I couldn't be rid of him soon enough. But that all changed when I had him. I knew that I wanted to be in his life. I come here every chance I get. Sometimes, I make time."

"Since I had Xiu, everything has taken on a new meaning." Soifon feed Xiu a piece of fish. "I'm no longer upholding the law to maintain peace and order; I'm enforcing it to keep him safe." Soifon rubbed Xui's stomach. "Every criminal I have arrested makes his world safer." Yoruichi looked at Soifon and her son with an expression of awe.

"You really love the little guy, don't you?" Yoruichi asked in almost a whisper.

"Of course I do." Soifon smiled wistfully. "He's my son. It's something that you can't truly understand until you experience it."

The word "experienced" hung in the air. Sitting before Soifon and her son, Yoruichi was overwhelmed by a humbling sense of naivety.

In a short century, Soifon had faced and met all the challenges Yoruichi spent almost her entire adult life feverishly avoiding and finally successfully evaded by renouncing her titles. But Soifon didn't seem confined or diminished, as Yoruichi though marriage and motherhood would leave a woman. On the contrary, Soifon seemed a stronger, wiser woman because of it.

With their meal finished, the two women exited Soifon's apartment and began to walk the grounds, catching up on lost time while Xui rested on Soifon's forearm, seemingly disinterested in the women's speech.

A though suddenly crept into Yoruichi's mind that caused a reflexive giggle.

"What is it?" Soifon asked curiously.

"You know what you are now, right?" Yoruichi asked. Soifon cocked an eyebrow in confusion. Clasping her hands around one of Soifon's ears, Yoruichi leaned in and whispered to Soifon.

"I'm…sorry, Yoruichi-sama, but I don't understand." Soifon frowned. "What is a MILF?"