Hello and Sorry for this coming out so late. I know it's been a bit more than month since I've uploaded, but i hope i will earn readers forgiveness. I had my reason, though i doubt you really want to listen to some excuses. So ill just say I've had pretty much worst summer month in my life. But now I'm back and kickingXD And i can assure you that I Don't have plans to abandon this story before i have written at least a few lemons and kicked some exorcists and Rouvelier's ass.(i know im such a Noah fan) And by the way I have finally gotten myself something similar to plot for this story. YAY., which was another thing why i couldn't get this chapter done faster, since i really needed to be aware about what im going to write for this chapter.
Also happy news as i have actually went out and reedited all previous chapters, adjusting them to my plot. It's not obligate that you read them as they are just minor changes mostly (except maybe prologue, which had changed quite a lot) but it wont do any bad either. Also i had done some changes to the layout to my story, so it's easier to read and understand. i still have some things that i will change in my writing, but i dont think im going to change previous chapters because of that.
Disclaimer: I don't own D-gray man and after such a delay in uploading i don't have any rights to even thinking about it either.
Warnings: This ones quite a sad chapter as it deals with Allen's past. (had a really hard time writing it, sob.) And there's no Tyki in this chapter(Wahh..sob..not at least in person), so obviously theres no smutty yaoi yet. (But Its Coming, oh yeah) Also i warn you there's Cross in here.
Anyway, please enjoy this sad chapter about Allen-chans past.
"The Musician"
.Fifth chapter.
.Memories of despair and salvation.
It was raining. Once again. Allen was sitting on the window-sill in his room at The Earl's place. He was watching the rain, how one after another raindrops were falling, landing on his window. He seemed completely taken by the view, until he suddenly shuddered, wrapping his blanket closer to his thin body.
It was a cold night, though the young Noah was wearing just a white shirt, that was a bit too big for him, (You can guess one time, who's originally it is) reaching half of his thigh. He hadn't been able to sleep tonight, so he had come to sit there, looking outside the the rain was falling heavy, the moon managed to show itself from time to time between the clouds, illuminating the boy in it's soft light, while Allen was being haunted by memories.
Yes, it was at nights such as this, when he couldn't sleep, that his past came rushing back to him.
Though it was such a long time ago, he still did remember parts of his early childhood. Those days long, long ago. His mother, the poor creature, although never had been brave enough to tell him that straight to his face, hated him, though she did have reasons to. His cursed eye for example was definitely one, though not the only one. the main reason was that he also possessed a weird red arm, which was a part of him every since his birth.(Though now he always hided it with his Noah ability) Nobody around him knew what it really was, they all thought him to be a cursed child. Even now Allen didn't know what that arm actually was, however he did knew how to use it if it would be needed.
Though The Earl had promised him that he will once tell him The truth about his arm and eye.
But never the less that arm only caused problems for that frail child he was then, being secretly hated by his own mother. (he could see that every time, he looked in her eyes) He didn't know who his father was, he even didn't want to as he had enough with one parent that despised him and would rather do without him.
Allen yawned a bit, switching his position on the window-sill. He was trying to maintain some warmth, that was slowly trying to leave him. He felt so small and weak right now, as he tried to find a comfortable spot. He pressed his cheek against the glass, looking at the raindrops that didn't stop for even a second in their way on his window.
But then she had died.
It happened in a sunny Saturday afternoon, which for the boy was colored crimson. He had come home that day to find his mother in the middle of her own blood.
Unlucky he, right?
He had never knew whether she was killed or she just simply did a suicide, finding that life with him was just unbearable.
Whatever the reason was, after that he was put into orphanage, which was a living hell for him. In the beginning nobody came close to him, fearing him and his strange arm, just like his mother. But that was fine with him, as he always had been alone without anyone who would love him. However that changed as the kids discovered how frail he actually was and the bullying began.
They would always throw rocks at him, afraid of going closer to "The Freak" as they had started calling him. they even called him a murderer, saying that he killed his mother himself. That really hurt the boy, who even though was hated by his mother, still loved her as she had not abandoned him completely. Nobody from the grown ups didn't interfere either, as the kids were also expressing their own hidden opinion of him, that they didn't dare to express, fearing for their jobs.
But Allen hadn't been able to take it for long. He had run away.
Allen felt thirsty suddenly. So he stood up, his bare feet touching the cold floor. He moved across his room, stopping at the nightstand next to his bed. It wasn't the first time he hadn't been able to sleep, and gotten thirsty, that's why he had ordered the maids to bring water to him every night. He poured some water from the carafe into the glass, not really wanting to think anymore.
His memories of the time after he had ran away were really vague. He remembered the poverty that he had been living in during then and the despair that followed everywhere. Hiding, running, searching and begging for something to put into mouth were daily things then. They were frustrating and bitter memories, that he wanted, but couldn't forgot.
But that was also the first time that he had met Mana. It was just a short meeting, not lasting even ten minutes as he had ran away, when the man had offered the boy to come with him. He had thought the man was weird, maybe one of those bad people that other street kids talked about in whispers, and the boy wanted to do nothing with such people.
After a while of such a tramp life, his luck was starting to run low as he was almost captured two times, and the third time it happened he was saved by Mana.
Allen sighed, after gulping down his glass of water in few seconds. He felt tired and weak, though was unable to sleep. The period on streets should be considered the worst part of his life, from the perspective of all things he had went through during that time. Allen sat down on his bed, starting to examine his nail, hoping it would help him calm down and forget the past.
That wasn't working unluckily.
Allen couldn't understand why was the man persuading him so much, even pretending to be his father when the policeman had asked him, where are the boy's parents. He then had finally agreed on Mana's proposal to come live with him.
His life with Mana had been a weird one, indeed. The man was a traveling clown, and Allen had began to travel together with him and a circus. His material situation hadn't especially much changed, though he now earned some money, helping out around the circus and had even learned some acrobatic tricks from the people. One couldn't say that he hated the way he was living now, only sometimes he felt like he didn't really belong there.
When it came to his relationships with Mana, they were better than the boy had expected, as the man was mostly nice to him, not minding his red arm, which he advised to hide under gloves and long shirts. However sometimes Allen could notice distrustful and doubting look in the man's eyes, that he couldn't comprehend. He also kept the boy close to him, as if trying to make sure nobody pays him too much attention.
In overall Allen's life at that time was spent between different towns, clowns and performers.
He had even performed as a clown a few times.
Allen's hands were beginning to tremble as he got under his blanket, as it was very cold in the room, but he didn't feel like calling somebody to light up the fireplace. He wanted to be alone for the moment, not wanted anybody crossing his personal space for now. The cold however wasn't the only reason that the boy was trembling, no the trembling was caused by the memories of a certain individual, who Mana had any connection besides work, as Allen had noticed the man was quite anti-social.
That person was General Marian Cross.
Allen didn't know almost anything about the man, except that he was a drunken bastard. Well he had once told that he was a sort of clergyman, which hardly convinced the boy. He could have never imagined the man being related with church, if religion at all.
Mana and the man would meet at least once every two weeks and often Mana took Allen along. (As he didn't like leaving the boy out of his sight) The boy despised those times, as somehow he had a distinctive dislike for the large red headed man, with a mask covering half his face. At those times they would sit at some cheap bar and the man would order beer after beer until he was so drunk that they would have to drag him out of the place with force.
The man had even once got him drunk, and he still remembered the headache that followed it.(Childhood trauma was ensured)
During those meetings when he still wasn't so drunk, the both talked about things, that Allen couldn't comprehend, but somehow knew were really important. It was always about some kind of people, that the both of them called "That Family" and how they should act, so to not be found out by them. Those were the only times when Allen could see either of them so serious.
Allen shuddered, even though he was under the thick blankets of his large bed, because he now remembered an especially traumatizing event of his life, that made him despise the red headed man ten times more. The time that he had been staying with General Marian Cross.
It had happened very suddenly, Mana had just told him that he had to leave for a while and that the boy couldn't come with him, so he will leave Allen with Cross. Allen was shocked to say the least about it at first, but then he had gotten mad for the first time in his existence, shouting that he would never stay with that drunkard son of a bitch. In the end he still had been forced to do so, as there were really no alternatives.
Though looking back at that time with Cross, he would have better chosen streets than that man.
The guy was a walking debt making machine, and who do you think had to pay those debts? Of course, it was not the man himself, as when it came to debt collectors, he had the fastest legs on Earth. It was Allen who was left dealing with the debts that the man made almost everywhere he went, he was the one who had to work to pay them off one after another, until he didn't feel his body anymore.
And the man didn't pay any attention to the boy either, saying that it was self-evident that the brat should pay the debts as he had taken him in, which made the boy mad, since he had never actually wanted to stay with Cross. Allen also had to wait outside the pubs, and drag out his caretaker when the volume inside the house become unbearable.
Surprisingly the man was also very popular with woman, as he had them in countless numbers. Allen could never understand why the heck those women were attracted to Cross, as he redeemed the man as a debt making, not paying, womanizer, drunkard bastard. And those five months he spent with Cross were hellish.
Allen still couldn't sleep, it seemed like today would be a night when he would go through all memories of his life. He turned on his sides now, looking at Timcanpy who had made itself comfortable on one of Allen's pillow and was sleeping.
All that was left to him was wish he could do the same thing.
Mana had returned after those five months and finally freed the boy from servitude of Cross. Then they had traveled through several towns, doing it very discreetly as if Mana would be afraid that someone might find them everywhere they go. At last they had stopped in London and booked themselves rooms in some cheap inn. Allen had mostly thought nothing as it wasn't the first time they had traveled so secretly, though somehow this time seemed even weirder and more mysterious.
He had never thought that this stay in London would change his life completely.
Allen had wanted to go sleepy early, as he felt very tired from all the traveling they had done the previous days. And he had done just that, falling asleep the moment that his head touched the pillow. However after few minutes, though in his sleepy state, he felt voices coming from the room which was occupied by Mana himself. One he could recognize as Mana's, although the boy couldn't comprehend anything it said, as sleep had turned off most of his brain functions. He couldn't recognize the other voice, which spoke most of the time, though somewhere inside Allen thought that he liked the sound of that voice. He knew certainly that it wasn't Cross, as he would definitely recognize that drunken bastards low voice.
He had thought of taking a peek inside, just to see who the owner of the other voice(which somehow entranced the boy) was, but the he felt his conscience slowly sipping away as deep sleep overcame the boy.
From it he was awoken only moments later as a scream erupted from the other room. The boy was startled by it for a moment, but after no other sound was heard he had thought that it was only his imagination. But he had to make sure.
Allen slowly crept out of his bed and just as slowly moved closer to the doors to Mana's room. He called for the man, asking him about the scream. When no reply came, he thought that might be sleeping already and the voices he heard before were also his imagination. But when he opened the doors a completely different scene from what he expected, assaulted his vision.
He saw the body of his caretaker in the middle of his own blood, completely lifeless. Even worse, the boy could see a heart that had been probably ripped from the man's body, causing both the scream and pool of blood. The boy stood, almost lifeless for a while, the scene somehow far too familiar to him. He started crying, but somehow he wasn't crying for Mana, no he didn't even understand for what those tears were.
Then he remembered why was it so familiar. His mother had looked almost the same when Allen had found her.
He really was an unlucky creature.
His tears flowed with a new force as he stood, oblivious to everything around him. He felt like despising himself as he understood the reason for his tears. He wasn't crying for Mana, nor for his mother, he was crying form himself, the pitiful cursed child that he was, since everybody who came too close to him ended up dying and he seeing them like that.
His tears finally stopped for what it seemed like eternity to the boy, though he had also managed to calm himself enough to stop trembling.
He wanted to raise his head to glance at the scene again, as his view was blocked by something he couldn't immediately recognize. He tried to concentrate his shaken brain and saw a pair of eyes glancing at him with suspicion. Those were two beautiful golden eyes that were looking at him from an equally perfect face. Allen felt confused.
Is he the voice he heard before? Did he kill Mana? And why was the man looking at him like that now?
Even if it was so, the boy somehow couldn't feel any hatred towards the man, instead he felt a strange pull to him, as if he had known the man all his life, but just has forgotten all about it. It really felt strange.
Suddenly the man's suspecting eyes softened as a small smile graced his features. He even softly brushed a strand of hair from the boy's face. Allen felt very puzzled, because of the man's sudden change in attitude. The feeling inside him grew tenfold. He didn't know what the feeling was, but it certainly felt very warm and nice. The boys eyes widened as the man offered him his hand and in the same entrancing voice asked a question.
"What is your name, Shounen?"
"Allen."
Allen stirred under his blankets, as he had come to a very important part of his 15 years old life. He really didn't know what complied him to so easily answer Tyki, and grasp his hand without a second thought. It was probably due to the strange feelings he had felt every since he had seen him for the first time. But he was thankful that he did so.
Since, it was how he had found his place in The Clan of Noah. They had welcomed him like a lost child that had finally returned to his home, the rightful place he should be. He had never expected anything like that, as there had never been somebody who would be happy to see him. It was like they really were his family. Everyone seemed a bit strange to the boy at the first time he actually met the whole family, as before he had only known Tyki who had brought him to his house and The Earl, who had come to greet him already as The Patriarch of Noah. He had tried to explain the boy everything he wanted to know, as the boy really did have a lot of questions.
He had told about The Noah's, their reason to fight and Akuma also about Exorcists, The Order and Innocence. He explained to the boy that he was The Fourteenth Noah, a special one, but never went into details saying that all will come with time. But even now there were still things that the boy didn't know, since The Earl had said that those things the boy shouldn't yet know. He did promise that all will be told to him when the time would be right.
Like why had Mana been killed? What his arm really is and why does he have such an eye? And what is his role in this war?
But those few secrets The Earl wanted to keep for now didn't worry the boy. No, he had received so much from his family that he wouldn't let just a few secrets stand between them. They had given him everything he could have ever wanted, accepting him the way he was, understanding and loving him.
Especially Tyki.
Yes, Tyki had given the boy so much. Sometimes even Allen himself couldn't understand how important the man had become to him. He had always felt something very strong for the beautiful Portuguese man that had always taken care of him, offered him a family, but he had never delved further into it, not wanting to ruin the relationships they had now.
Suddenly Allen blushed, remembering the kiss they had shared the yesterday night. It had felt so amazing that Allen had wished that it wouldn't ever stop.
But after it had ended the boy had understood how wrong he's been. Tyki was his fellow Noah and they both were males after all. (Though Tyki was a beautiful man unlike him, who was too thin and too short, and looked too childish) He had desperately tried to convince his mind that it was a mistake and Tyki had never meant to start kissing him, as after the kiss they hadn't spoken a single word between them. They had just returned home and Tyki had been sent into another mission while Allen had locked himself up in his room. And since yesterday Allen hadn't been able to stop thinking about the male and what the kiss meant.
Even the sleepless night he was suffering, was caused by the kiss that had shaken his happy life. He was worried that Tyki would now reject him, as he had responded to the kiss. (he had even went so far to think that Tyki just had wanted to tease him like that, as he always harassed him) But even with such thoughts he couldn't distinguish the small flame of hope that the kiss had meant something more than that.
Could it be that it was really love that he felt for Tyki?
So did you felt like crying? I certainly did.
I also apologize for not answering reviews. I have a limited time at computer, so i have to plan what i need to do more, type up chapters or answer reviews. But i really appreciate every review, favorite and alert i get. They make me feel very happy, as my work is liked. So I thank all those awesome people who leave a review for me, no matter what you tell, as i need critism too to improve myself.
Next Chapter:Allen goes to find Tyki after Earl's order and ends meeting some interesting people. And for the first time we will hear some of Tyki's thoughts about what is happening with him and Allen.( Hmmmm...do i really smell limes? )
I think the next chap will be up in two weeks, probably.
Ok, now im off to write the damn drabble thats been invading my mind about Tyki's and Allen's life together.(Mmmmmm...)
Also i know i have no right asking for reviews since ive sinned so much, but still i would really like hearing your guys opinion.