Ack! Sorry for procrastinating! I was busy with school/Ace Attorney/Mario Galaxy 2! I promiss I'll try to update more often, but for now, on with the story!

Mario slumped down on the couch in the living room. He couldn't believe he had made such a stupid bet with Bowser, and since he was racing against the fastest thing on the planet, he didn't stand a chance. Although he had the craving for a plate of spaghetti, now wasn't the time.

"Mario, what's the matter?" Ike asked as he walked past. "Did you run out of 'shrooms?" Giggling, he walked away, preparing for an outdoor match with Samus and Squirtle. It took Mario a few minutes to realize what had just been said.

"'Shrooms..." he mumbled, "Don't I have a few Super ones left?" When the words hit him, a great idea came in mind. As fast as he could (which wasn't very fast), he ran for his dorm room.

Ness observed the area surrounding the Smash Mansion. Mario was nowhere in sight, and his race against Bowser the Hedgehog was about to commence. Holding his Peanut Popgun tightly in his hand, he decided to climb a tree to pass the time. Meanwhile, Zelda approached, standing in front of Bowser.

"Ha, I am gonna ACE this one, baby!" He cheered. The look on Zelda's face tightened and she groaned.

"Quit flirting with me, aren't you racing Mario for a kiss from Peach?" She smirked as Bowser clenched his fists. "Then again, it's hard to say whether Mario is coming prepared or not..."

"Argh!" Ness shrieked, trying to keep his balance on a tree branch. The ground shook heavily, sending Bowser tumbling into a flower patch. Peach, who was also outside with them, gasped at the sight.

"Nooooooooooooo! My precious daisies!" She flew over to the startled hedgehog, who glared at the squished flowers under him.

"Daisies? Why would Princess Peach have daisies?" Bowser scoffed. Without another word, Peach punched Bowser's head hard, shoving him farther into a patch of Roses.

"Erm, I won't ask again..." he mumbled. As he tried to get up, Ness fell on top of him. "Nyah!" Bowser agressively got up, holding Ness in his arms.

"Sorry, Mr. Bowser, I couldn't keep balance on the tree. I mean, this is a major earthquake, you know!" He gasped for air. "I wonder how Diddy can do it with no problem-o?"

"Yeah, whatever. I accept your... excuse, I mean, statement...err?" Bowser stumbled on his words.

"You mean apology?" Ness sighed. Bowser nodded without confidence. "Y-yeah, I um, accept your apology. Anyway... WHERE THE HELL IS MARIO?" His yell made the ground shake even more. Man, he thought. I didn't think switching bodies could keep voices not only the same pitch but same noise level. But it was Peach's scream that shook the most.

"M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-" she moaned as her face went pale, eyes widening. Mario stood behind the Mansion, literaly towering over it. "M-Mario?"

"Yes, it's-a me, Mario!" His voice boomed in the Smashers' ears, causing Ness and Bowser to cover them tight. "I've-a decided that being bigger would-a help me win the race-a!" As he said the word 'bigger', Peach fainted on the spot. Zelda groaned as she sipped her cup of Lon Lon Milk.

"HOLD IT!" It was Bowser. He shook his finger impatiently at the plumber. "Increasing in size would be considered cheating in this case! It is irrelevant at this point!" Zelda, although not so sure about the kissing deal, agreed with Bowser's statement." Silence filled the entire area. Then...

"OBJECTION!" Ness cleared his throat as he banged his two hands on the Peach tree. "You never set a specific rule set for this rule! So clearly, your statement is faulty!"

"OBJECTION!" Bowser came up close to Ness. "You've been playing a little too much Phoenix Wright lately, haven't you? Ahem. Give me proof showing I did NOT set any rules for the race when I confronted Mario at the simulation!" Zelda shook her head this time.

"Fine. Just let me look in the Court Record-I mean, my backpack." Grinning, he pulled out a tape player. "TAKE THAT!" Bowser only laughed. "A machine that plays tapes? How is this supposed to prove your point?" Still grinning, Ness began to explain.

"This was recorded at a match in the Luigi's Mansion stage. Perhaps you should listen to it?" He hit the play button, bringing up a conversation.

"Not so-a fast, Bowser the Hedgehog! The Princess isn't gonna be yours, ever!"

"Well, now that I'm the fastest thing ever, I have nothing to worry about!"

"Oh yes you do!"

"O RLY?"

"YA RLY!"

"Prove it, then!"

"Here is the deal-a. If you can-a beat me in a race around the outside of the Smash-a Mansion, Peach will have to kiss you, well, in Pit's body but, you-a know. If I-a beat you, then Peach kisses me!"

"Deal! ...Owwie!" The tape ended there. Bowser yelled. He had forgotten about the recording part of simulations, and now he had to pay the price for it.

"Fine. I'll race his giant form. Not that it'll help him much, I'll still kick his a**!" He cackled sarcastically. Mario smiled as he took his place at the starting line, near the front doors of the Smash Mansion.

"Okay guys!" Zelda cheered. "On your marks-" The two racers stiffened their positions. "-get set-" The two of them shot determined faces at each other. "-and...GO!" With that, the two racers stormed away, turning around the corner of the Mansion. Surprisingly, Mario was leading, Bowser following just behind. There were a few traps set up, like fences and spike pits.

"Hah! How easy!" Mario grinned as he leaped over a giant spike pit. On the other hand, Bowser wasn't taking it well. "Sh*t!" He tripped over a rock, almost falling into a net trap. "Who set up these traps, anyway? Oh, right. Sonic got a hold of my evil traps I use for my Boss Battles in Mario games. Like those lava things that break open whenever I bashed into them!"

Mario snickered. "Perhaps in the next-a game you should-a plan your Final Boss stages better!"

"Now that is a LOW BLOW, fat a**! Wasn't Mario Galaxy 2's final boss hard enough?" He stumbled past a tree stump.

"Pfft, that was the easiest thing evar!" Mario realized that insulting Bowser would slow down his pace. "Maybe you have a much different perspective on 'hard-a'?

"MARIO YOU JERKFACE! Bowser was tired of the argument. He could see the front doors of the Smash Mansion clearly now, and the others waited at the finish line.

"Yes! I'm-a gonna win!" Mario's face lit up. Then, the unthinkable happened. Before he could touch the line, he fell down backwards, shaking the entire universe in the process. Bowser, keeping up with the earthquake, charged past the plumber, resulting in a win for him.

"YESZ! I PWN YOU ALL!" Bowser cheered with Ness and Zelda, who just made Mario even more angry. Staring cautiously, Mario didn't bother getting up. Bowser approached the Princess, who had finally gotten up.

"Now, Princess," Bowser chuckled. "Where's my kiss?" Peach slowly got up, and, without hesitation, kissed the hedgehog's left cheek. Bowser blushed.

"Aw, that was romantic!" Zelda cheered. On the other hand, Ness stuck out his tongue. "Ew, now who would want to write a Zelda/Sonic romanc fic-oh wait. Never mind!" He applauded for the happy couple.

"Heh, looks like I won the bet, fattie times a million!" Bowser approached Mario's foot. "Any comments?" Mario thought about the Switching Machine, how he could've swapped with someone fast like Marth. But he didn't, he was stupid and used Super Mushrooms, his only drugs. They were bound to wear off soon, so he used the opportunity to yell as loud as he could.

"SAKURAI!"

Thus concluding the Chapter, I apologize again for the procrastination. I promise to update when I can, and stop leaving you guys hanging!

Oh, and on a non-related note: E3. Pure, epic win. If you haven't had a peek at the most recent one, then you're missing out on a million epic Nintendo things. Seriously.