Miko: I've been doing too much reading online about Doctor Who, and I'm fascinated by his childhood. Of course, I don't fully understand it so I tried to just gloss over some of the details. But anyway, here is my attempt at describing the Doctor's experience of becoming a Time Lord. Next I'll attempt the Master's.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


Running

The young man would never get tired of the sunrise. He woke up before the first sun rose and ran to the tallest tower in the Academy. Theta Sigma's feet hit the cold stone floor with a soft patter as he maneuvered through the stairs and hallways of the abandoned building. He was only eight years old, and everything in life delighted him. Of course, it helped that he lived on what he was sure was the most beautiful planet in any universe. He couldn't imagine living anywhere else. He thought he would rather die than leave his home planet.

His breath was coming in ragged gasps as he spun around a corner and threw himself at the balcony. The metal handrail bruised his chest but his attention wasn't on physical pain. He was drinking in the sight of his beautiful planet, and he could never get enough. The sky was orange with the first sun rising, and he could see the red grass covering the ground up until the forest started. The leaves shone silver, reflecting light on the snowcapped mountains.

"Koschei! Isn't it – " Thete looked over his shoulder for his friend, but the boy wasn't there and for the first time the smile fell from the eight year old's face. He looked back at the sky that was the color of his hair and waited in silence for the second sun to rise and the true beauty to begin. He couldn't help but miss his friend's presence for their morning ritual. The day before had been Koschei's eighth year, just like today was Thete's. Every person living on Gallifrey knew what the eight year signified. It was a day that could send terror into the hearts of even the bravest Time Lord, but the children couldn't understand until they experienced it.

Theta Sigma was excited for the day. He had always known he was being groomed for the Presidentship of the Academy, but his reaction to today's trial would make or break all his hopes and dreams. He put off the terror of the day's task for the sunrise, as he had every day of his short life. He only wished he could experience the sunrise outside the glass dome of the citadel. He and Koschei had made a promise they would do that, but the black haired Time Lord was nowhere to be seen since the current President had come and taken him away the day before.

A sigh of wonder escaped his lips as the second sun broke the horizon and struck each leaf of the forest and turned them red and orange and blue. One by one, the trees caught on fire. As he did every day, Thete looked at the other balcony's and tried to find someone – anyone – who rose early enough to see the beauty that the planet had to offer. As always, he was alone. Except, this time he really was alone. Usually Koschei was with him.

"Theta Sigma of the House of Lungbarrow. It is time for you to discover your role in the Prydonian Academy on the day beginning your eight year of existence." Theta turned to see the President standing behind him. He looked up with wordless wonder and just nodded. He didn't know what he was expected to say, but he was spared the opportunity when the man turned and walked away. Theta hurried after, his childish legs taking two or three steps for every one of the Time Lord ahead of him.

Everything about the President fascinated Theta Sigma. From the moment he had set foot in the Academy three years ago, he had hidden in corners to get a glimpse of the most powerful Time Lord in this part of Gallifrey, but he had only managed to see a sweeping cloak or a shadow. Now that the man was before him, Theta didn't know what to say. He tried to think of what Koschei would say. Koschei always knew the right thing to say, unlike Theta. Theta was always babbling, running in circles around what he really wanted to say. Koschei had promised to help him work on that.

"Where is Koschei?" Theta jogged quickly to catch up with the President who made no attempt to make the journey easy. The pattering of his feet reminded Theta that he wasn't wearing anything on his feet. He wished he could sink into the floor in embarrassment. He had been in such a big hurry to see the stupid sunrise that he hadn't bothered to put on shoes. Koschei would never have made that mistake.

"Your…friend…has completed his initiation. He is no longer known as Koschei. You would do well to banish that name to the furthest reaches of your consciousness and never speak it again. The boy you knew is no more." The journey paused while the President unlocked the Academy's doors and Theta followed the man out of the place that had become his home.

The rest of the journey was a blur to the young boy who couldn't shake off the feeling of dread the President's words inspired. At the early hour there were no other citizens walking the streets, and as they drew closer to the dome that kept the Academy safe the chance of encountering anyone grew less and less. It wasn't until the President was standing before the protective shell and inserting a key into a lock. He wanted to ask if Koschei had been led this way, but bit his lip before the words escaped. The previous words echoed in Theta's head. The boy you knew is no more.

He couldn't let the fear creep in now. Did that mean that he would change? Would he be lost? Was Koschei lost? If he wasn't, then where was he? One thing Theta knew for sure in the whole, changing universe was that Koschei would never abandon him. They were the best friends in a world of flowing political power and betrayal. But now that Koschei was different, would any of their promises mean anything to him? Would Theta remember them after he passed his test?

"Before we continue, know that you have a choice, Theta Sigma of the House of Lungbarrow. You may continue with me, or you can return home now. Either way you will not remain the same person you are. Choose now." Theta froze in mid-step. What had Koschei chosen?

"I…I'd like to continue." He said hoarsely. He hoped the fear wasn't evident in his voice, but the squeak at the end betrayed his nerves. The President said nothing and just continued forward into the forest. To Theta, the man's face looked arrogant and condescending. Suddenly, he felt a wave of extreme anger at his would-be role model.

"This is the Untempered Schism." The object was as tall as the eight year old child. This far away, he couldn't see what the gold ring contained in the center, thought he knew the rumors that inside was the Time Vortex itself. On the ground before the ring was Rassilon's seal and Theta's eyes instinctively slid to that instead.

Every child grew up knowing Rassilon's name. Rassilon was the very first Time Lord. He and his friend Omega had harnessed unspeakable power that gave the Gallifreyans the ability to travel through time. Rassilon had created each family's Loom, which created every citizen of the planet, including Theta himself. Rassilon was the Lord President, though he had his beginnings in this academy. Along with most children, Theta and Koschei had played at Rassilon and Omega creating the Time Lords. And now, Theta would be the newest Time Lord. He just had to look into the Untempered Schism.

"Look into the Time Vortex, Theta Sigma. In it, you will see truth and find your place in the worlds. This is the gift given by Rassilon and Omega at the beginning. But beware, because to look into the Vortex is a chancy thing. Some go mad. Some run away before completing the transformation. But then, some are inspired! And those are the greatest among us. Go now, Theta Sigma. And may Rassilon be with you." Theta bit his lip and nodded, keeping his eyes on the gold seal as he walked cautiously towards his future.

He tried to imagine Koschei making the same walk. Undoubtedly the slightly older child wasn't scared at all. He had probably walked forward and looked in and saw his bright future and all the works he would do. Theta suddenly felt inadequate. He couldn't banish the feeling before his eyes lifted not of his own will and looked into the Vortex.

Pain. Agony. Screaming. Explosions. No more sunset. No more trees. No more home. Running. Fighting. Family. Lost. Friends. Lost. Love. Lost. Loosing. Falling. Hatred. Betrayal. Silence. Darkness. No more. No more. No more! Still.

He saw everything. He saw nothing. He watched as his home was destroyed. By him. He held the weapon that made his home cry out in pain, cursing at him in every language. He felt tears burn down his face once, twice, three times. Once for the planet. Once for a girl – who was she? Not Time Lord. Some other species. So similar to Time Lords, but there was no sound of a second heart in her chest. Rose. His conscience was pulled further. His last death. Standing at the head of an army. Army? His face was a blur. The army was a blur. As he saw it shifted. He was lying alone in a room, a woman standing over him with two guns smoking. It changed. He was slumped as an old man in someone's arms. Changed. Changed. Changed. Die.

Then at the same time something else. A planet of gods. Vengeful gods. Gods who killed. Gods who fashioned the universe in their image. He was standing at their head. The worlds spoke his name with silent reverence. He had children – his own House. He would stand beside Rassilon. With Koschei. Together they would rule. But he was so alone. Feared. Not loved. Never loved. People ran from him, or went silence in his presence. The Time Lords would rule the universe. There would be peace. Bloody, bloody peace. He died of old age. Alone. Silent. Isolated. Dead.

"I…Take it back! I can see everything. Too much. Please, take it back! It hurts. My head!" Theta grabbed his hair in his hands and pulled. He felt like his body was being pulled apart and he dropped to the forest floor, wondering where the President was and why he wasn't helping. Couldn't he see that Theta was dying? Was this normal? Soon the pain overwhelmed him and he arched his back, screaming in pain. Just when he was sure he would die, he felt his second heart kick in, and everything went bright.

The light was cooling his body and he surrendered to it. After the excruciating pain a moment before he would sell his soul to get rid of the pain. What had gone wrong, though? He had done everything right, he thought. He saw all of time, but surely the future wasn't so painful as what he had seen. None of the other Time Lords had mentioned the pain. Or perhaps he was forbidden to speak about it? The world dimmed and he sat up.

"C-can we speak about what we saw?" His voice sounded different, but he put that to the side for the moment.

"Of course. Is there something you would like to share?" Theta felt like it was a test of some sort. He tried to open his mouth and ask about the pain, but suddenly he saw a flash of this man before him dying. Burning. Flesh twisting. Theta turned to the side and gagged. Nothing came up.

"NO!" Theta pushed himself off the ground and ran as fast as he could. The first few steps were awkward, and when he looked down he saw that his feet were larger, and much further away from him. He didn't think about it. He didn't think about anything and soon he was running through the forest. His feet were soon sore and bleeding, but physical pain couldn't hold a candle to the fire raging inside him. Soon he was running blind. Every tree, every leaf, every ray from the suns was cursing his name, as if the future were his own fault.

Eventually he could go no further. He fell to the ground in front of a clear lake. The water was silver and orange in the sunslight and Theta thrust his head under to quench his thirst. The world was still shouting at him, driving him mad. He put his hands to his ears and tried to drown out the cries of betrayal and bloodshed, but nothing he did was helping.

"I am not Theta anymore!" He said, casting off his childhood name. "I am not Theta! I don't want to be Theta. I won't bring pain. I want to make everything better. I'll be a doctor. I'll make you better. Please. I'm not Theta. I'm the Doctor. I'm the Doctor." His voice had dropped to a hoarse whisper. His vocal chords were raw. But he still cried out. Now there were no words. He just shouted until eventually the cursing and moaning of his planet dropped to a whisper. No longer driving him mad, but still there, still taunting him in the back of his mind. At least he wasn't going mad.

"Some would be inspired, some would run away, and some would go mad." Two-shot. The Doctor and the Master's experience as children of the Untempered Schism