Sorry for the major delay, I had lost where I was going with this story, and had no interest in continuing it, but I have found my train of thought, and hope to be able to finish this story soon. To those of you who are still following I thank you for your patience!

A few days later found Tohma sitting at his desk, lunch untouched beside him as he tried to concentrate on his paper work, quickly finishing going over the paper in his hand before signing his name a bit more forcefully than he meant to. He could feel his eye starting to twitch as Ryuichi kept his eyes trained on him, following his every movement, as he had been doing for the past two hours. Finally Tohma looked up.

"Is there something that I can help you with, Sakuma-san?" He asked, his irritation seeping through his smile slightly, though Ryuichi paid it no mind, as usual.

"Tohma-chan isn't eating his lunch." The vocalist said with a pout, pointing to where the cup of soup and sandwich sat untouched, except to be moved to the side so Tohma could continue with his work. "Tohma knows he has to eat, it's not good to skip meals."

"I've already told you, Sakuma-san, I ate earlier, and I'm not hungry. Why don't you go and see Shindou-san, I'm sure he's bored by now, and could probably use the company." Tohma said, and could see the singer's interest peak when he mentioned the younger vocalist, though he could see, by the stubborn set of Ryuichi's shoulders, that he wasn't getting out of lunch that easily today. He threw down his pen with an uncharacteristly irritated sigh, when he saw tears gathering in the corner of Ryuichi's eyes, knowing that the water works were about to start. "If I eat, will you let me get back to work?" At the vocalist's happy nod, he reluctantly pulled the soup container towards himself, opening it to see a thick white based soup with bits of green mixed in. Grabbing the spoon Ryuichi offered to him, he stirred the soup, before taking a quick bite, swallowing as quickly as possible, he hated cold soup. Finishing the small cup of soup as quickly as possible, he hid a frown as the sandwich was pushed in front of him as well.

"Tohma needs to eat all his food" Ryuichi said, pout firmly back in place. Tohma opened his mouth to protest, but knowing how stubborn the other was he just grabbed the sandwich, taking a quick bite as he watched the others pout turn into a happy smile. He finished the rest of his lunch as quickly as possible, feeling his stomach clench uncomfortably. "See, Tohma-chan was hungry, he even finished all his food!" Ryuichi exclaimed happily, a big grin on his face, Kumagoro clutched to his chest. "Is Tohma-chan ready for desert now?"

Tohma just stared at the vocalist with a blank expression, unable to quite believe him, he had just all but forced him to eat a lunch he didn't even want, and now he wanted him to eat more, the mere thought of that was making him feel nauseous.

"Why don't you go visit with Shindou-san now Sakuma-san, I am sure he is quite lonely by now, and would love to have someone to play with." Tohma suggested with a smile, as he turned back to his paper work, he worked in silence for a few minutes before glancing up to find Ryuichi staring at him, his expression serious as blue eyes studied him. Tohma raised an eyebrow, folding his hands in front of him as he gave the singer his full attention. "Was there something else that you needed Sakuma-san? I really do have a lot of work that needs to be finished."

The other male was silent for a few minutes, just watching the blonde. Tohma suppressed a small shiver at the intensity of the gaze, it was not often that one would see this level of seriousness in the vocalist, and though he would never show it, even Tohma was a bit unnerved, it was as though Ryuichi was trying to see through him, see into his mind. He was startled out of his thoughts, when the other spoke.

"There is something wrong with you Tohma, you haven't been acting right for the last few months, I want to know what is wrong, and don't lie to me."

"What makes you think that there is something wrong with me Sakuma-san?" when no answer was forthcoming Tohma just shook his head, "I assure you that I am quite fine, Sakuma-s…"

"I told you not to lie to me Tohma, you and I both know that you are far from fine, you need to tell me what is wrong. I need to know so I can help you, I don't want you doing something stupid again." Ryuichi said with a scowl, taking a step towards the desk. "You've been acting odd for the last few months, you have been harder on the bands than usual, and your patience with the newer bands seems even shorter than usual. You seem to be trying to hole yourself up in your office when you are not required to be elsewhere, I want to know why, you've even started to avoid Noriko and Myself. You're also not eating again, just looking at you, I think you've gone and lost more weight, weight you know you cannot afford to lose." Tohma just watched him, slightly shocked, had he really been that obvious? He really needed to hide his emotions better, though he knew Ryuichi was quite observant when it came to these types of things, he should be able to keep something this petty to himself, he needn't burden others with is failures.

"I assure you, I really am fine, Sakuma-san," Tohma started, holding up a hand to halt Ryuichi as the other opened his mouth, "I have just had a lot on my mind. If you must know, Mika-san has filed for divorce, I received the papers earlier this week, though it is really no surprise, this was a long time coming, I am simply surprised she waited this long." He saw the surprise in the other's eyes, "You were right Sakuma-san, I have been harder on the bands, through no fault of their own, and I will endeavor to keep my patience more with the newer bands, as well as not be as hard on the others. I am sorry you have been feeling like I was avoiding you, but I really have had a lot of work, and I haven't felt much up to the company of others, as I'm sure you understand."

"Mika-san filed for divorce?" Ryuichi asked, seeming confused at the prospect that Mika could even want a divorce from Tohma, "But I thought that you two were happy together, I thought you loved each other?" Tohma watched him silently for a minute before gesturing for the singer to sit on the couch, before joining him.

"Mika-san hasn't been happy with me in years, and as much as I loved her, she didn't feel that I loved her as I should, that she deserved more than what she was getting from me." Tohma told him, a small frown on his face as he spoke to his best friend about his soon to be ex-wife. "Any time I was working late here, or had a late rehearsal with you guys, she was so sure that I was off with my secret lover, the one she was so sure I loved more than her. It just got to the point I think, where she couldn't handle the thought of being second fiddle any longer, and really I can't blame her, after all, who wants to be second to someone else in regards to love, especially from one's spouse. And what is worse, is in a way, she was right, she will always be second in line when it comes to love. I love her, I really do, but I love someone else more, and I don't think that is likely to change." Tohma glanced over at Ryuichi, to gauge how he was taking this, knowing that what was said in this office today would not go beyond it, the vocalist may be one for gossip, but he would never use what the blonde was saying against him. The vocalist was silent for a minute, before he spoke, his voice soft.

"Why didn't you tell me, do you not trust me anymore?" he asked, sounding sad.

"Of course I trust you Ryu, I just didn't think it was needed to bother others with a small matter, which I knew was bound to happen, it was inevitable, and I really shouldn't feel bad about this, it was just another thing I failed at."

"That doesn't matter, even if you feel it was inevitable, a divorce is no small thing. Its ok you know, to be upset about this." Ryuichi said pulling the other male in for a hug, ignoring the way Tohma stiffened at the contact. They were silent for a minute, each lost in their own thoughts, before Ryuichi spoke again. "The person she was so jealous of, It wasn't Eiri Yuki, was it?" He asked, pulling away slightly to watch Tohmas reaction, watching the way teal eyes widened in surprise, so he was right then.

"No it wasn't Eiri-san" Tohma whispered, it would be easier if it were; at least Mika knew there was nothing to be jealous about, when it involved the blonde author.

"You know, this divorce could be a good thing in a way, now you can go after the one you love, you have a chance at happiness, Toh-chan, and you should take it."

"I wish it were that simple Ryu, I really do, but this person hates me, he can barely stand to be around me, and it's no one's fault but my own, I guess the saying is true, you really do reap what you sow, I pushed him and tried to control him, now I have to pay the price." Ryuichi just looked at his friend, his friend of many years, and could feel the tears stinging at the edges of his eyes. The normally guarded teal eyes, eyes that would reveal nothing that their owner didn't wish to be revealed, displayed a deep sadness, and e knew that Tohma had dropped his guard, something that hadn't happened since the events with Yuki. Ryuichi felt his eyes widen as a sudden thought occurred to him, but no, the person who Tohma liked couldn't be, could it…?

"Tohma, do you like Shu-chan?"He knew he was right when Tohma flinched slightly, before nodding slightly, not bothering to deny it. "I don't think Shu-chan hates you Tohma, you might have a chance if you can just get him away from Yuki, and tell him how you feel, and you've already done one of those things"

"I can't do that Ryu, the only reason that he is staying with me is because he had nowhere else to go." 'And even if by some miracle he didn't hate me, after what Yuki has done to him, I'm the last person that would be good for him', he thought to himself, his hand unconsciously going to his arm, nails digging into the fabric, unaware of the blue eyes once more studying him. The was silence for a few minutes before a timid knock sounded on the door, and it was opened to reveal Shuichi, who stopped when he saw the two on the couch.

"I'm sorry, I'm interrupting you aren't I?" He said with a quick bow, "I'll come back later" he said trying to dart out the door, before Tohma stopped him.

"Its fine Shindou-san, why don't you and Sakuma-san hang out together for a bit, I think that he is getting bored with just my company" he said with a chuckle, ignoring the look Ryuichi gave him before he turned to Shuichi.

"Yeah, let's go play Shu-chan; we'll leave Tohma to his boring work." He said before dragging the younger vocalist from the room, he would give Tohma his space for now, and it would give him a chance to talk with Shuichi in private.