This was created when me and my friend (Jill Valentine the Sandwich, check out her stories!) where randomly texting these back and fourth one night. We agreed to put them up here so everyone else can enjoy them as well. xD

Resident Evil Rules:

Thou must split up whenever possible.

Thou must never carry more than six items.

Thou shall assign the rookie the hardest job.

Thou must learn that there is a time limit for boss battles.

Thou shall state the obvious in dire situations.

Thou must accept that the solution is always the most unlikely one.

Thou must blow up the mansion/island at the end of every adventure.

Thou must never wonder why there are random bullets and healing items everywhere.

Thou shall never question if that is, indeed, a green herb and not weed.

Thou shall not question why a married man who is supposed to be in the dining hall is checking up on thee.

Thou shall not question why a plant heals horrible injuries in less than 3 seconds.

Thou shall not wonder why Dr. Marcus can age 50 years in 20 seconds.

Thou shall not question why the sanity of thy team mate is practically non existent.

Thou shall always act surprised when thou sees a zombie.

Thou shall not call for backup in a corpse-ridden, blood drenched train.

Thou shall not call Dr. Marcus Sephiroth.

If thou are a villain, thou must call the monsters 'children'.

Thou shall not question where those extra weapons and healing items are stored.

Thou shall not wonder how the item boxes are connected.

Thou must be ready to play 'Moonlight Sonata' at all times.

Thou shall read every diary, file, and note thou finds.

Thou must insist that thou can actually see dead people.

Thou must call "What/Who is this/it?" every time thou sees something of interest.

Thou must kill the final boss in the most epic way possible.

Thou shall not question how thy partner survived a three story fall into monster ridden waters.

Thou shall point your gun at corpses of thou wishes to survive.

Thou shall never ask why zombies respawn.

Thou shall accept the inevitable years in therapy.

Thou must not question why there is a room in the ceiling.

Thou must always explore the basement.

Thou shall accuse everyone of being a spy.

Thou shall stand and watch thou partner get attacked by a zombie because of thy retarded AI.

Thou must have done something wrong in the past life.

Thou must not see the giant scorpion on the roof.

Thou must never question conveniently placed keys.

Thou shall never ask why there are so many goddamned riddles in the mansion/train/warehouse.

Thou shall blame everything on Umbrella.

Thou shall accuse everyone of being infected with the T-virus.

Thou shall not underestimate midgets.

Thou shall calls others by their last name.

Thou must know what 'indivisible' means.

Thou must turn around painfully slow whenever possible.

Thou must be saved from certain death more times then thou can count.

Thou shall ask if one is alright, even if the question is completely unrelated to the conversation.

Thou must not wonder why there is a conveniently placed mansion there.