Author's Note: This is an AU story set in the same universe as my story Written All Over My Face. If you aren't familiar with that, the most important thing you need to know is Quinn moved in with Rachel after the truth came out about the baby and she gave the baby up for adoption. This is the first in a series of oneshots. A special thanks to my friends Katy and Kathy for reading along the way and catching my late night errors. XOXO.

One of the first discoveries Quinn Fabray made after moving from Lima, Ohio to New York City was that there was no such thing as a quiet night in Manhattan. It didn't matter what the temperature was or if it was raining or snowing or unseasonably warm – people would always be out in full force taking advantage of everything the city had to offer. The city had its own unique pulse and the air crackled with its energy as people went about their lives – talking on cell phones, hailing cabs, rushing to catch the subway or just walking with friends – all resulting in a buzz that was impossible to ignore.

It had taken her a few weeks to get used to the constant noise. Back home in Lima, a person could hear a pin drop after ten p.m. But in New York, there were car horns and shouts and sirens and everything else one could imagine day or night. She'd lain awake her first few nights in her new apartment just listening to the noise in awe and wondering if she would ever feel comfortable there.

Now it was spring and after living in New York for nearly a year, the constant noise was nothing more than a slight buzz in the air. Quinn had grown accustomed to tuning it out as easily as she had learned to tune out Rachel's late night voice drills. The screeching tires and delighted tourists taking pictures barely registered as she walked through the famous archway of Washington Square Park.

The park had become one of her favorite places in the city. She passed through it on a daily basis walking between her Greenwich Village apartment and the NYU campus and she enjoyed studying by the fountain or people watching near the arch. It was a great place to have lunch or listen to her iPod while she waited for a friend between classes.

But more importantly, Quinn had discovered the park was also a great place to be alone. She veered away from the fountain and walked further down the path that led to the more secluded area of the park. There were more trees than people and the benches were scattered further apart than the ones closest to the arch. A steady stream of joggers, dog walkers and rollerbladers still passed by, but no one paid any attention to her as she sat down on an empty bench.

Quinn had become an expert at blending into the scenery.

She knew it was ironic that a former head cheerleader who had ruled her high school for two solid years before taking a nasty fall from grace would learn to appreciate being ignored. She'd never imagined herself being the kind of person who would like being on the sidelines or who wanted no part of the action. But here she was alone in the middle of the biggest city in the country relishing her solitude.

It wasn't like she was anti-social. She had friends – more importantly – she had good friends who she knew she could count on no matter what. She had made new friends in classes and with some people who lived in her building. There was any number of people she could call if she needed someone to talk. But tonight, she wasn't interested in talking to anyone. Well, that wasn't exactly true. There was one person she wished she could talk to.

Her daughter.

Today was her little girl's third birthday. Quinn still couldn't believe it had been three years since she'd given birth and held her tiny baby in her arms for the first and only time. Sometimes it felt like it was just yesterday that she was as big as house doing her best to waddle through the glee dance routines without tipping over and now her baby was three. She was out there somewhere in the world walking and talking and going to preschool. She was living her innocent life with no idea that Quinn thought about her every single day.

She didn't regret giving her up for adoption. Quinn knew the parents they had chosen were the ones her baby was supposed to have. She knew her little girl was happy and loved and being given all the things she deserved. But that didn't stop Quinn from missing her and wishing she could see her just once. She wouldn't even have to talk to her or hold her – she just wanted to look at her and see with her own two eyes that she was okay.

But that was impossible. The adoptive parents had offered to send Quinn and Puck pictures and updates, but they had agreed that would be too hard and opted for a closed adoption. Quinn still thought they had made the right decision (most of the time). The only pictures she had of her daughter were the ones Rachel's dads had insisted on taking in the hospital. (That was just one of the many things she would always be grateful to them for).

Quinn chewed on her bottom lip and tried to keep the tears from welling up in the corners of her eyes. The sun had set and the lights from the skyline were glowing around the edges of the park. She considered heading home and decided against it. Rachel didn't have any late practices on Tuesday nights and Quinn wasn't stable enough to face her yet.

Rachel would know exactly what day it was and she would smile at her and Quinn would fall to pieces. She didn't want to dump her pain on Rachel. Her best friend had gone above and beyond for her from the moment she'd offered her a place to stay over three years ago. Quinn loved Rachel with all her heart and the least she could do for her was not make her take care of her again. Besides, Puck was going to need Rachel tonight. He was in Georgia, but Quinn had no doubt he would be calling Rachel and he deserved her full attention.

So Quinn was going to stay right where she was until she could get a handle on her pain. It was a beautiful night and spring had always been her favorite season because everything seemed new again. She wondered if her daughter liked being outside. Maybe she had a swing set or a sandbox she liked to play in. The thought made her smile even as the tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Is this seat taken?"

"No," Quinn replied quickly. She brushed the tears from her eyes and avoided looking at the person who sat down beside her on the bench. Maybe this was a downfall of spring – more people would be flocking to the park at night and it wouldn't be as easy to sit alone and cry. But it was still New York and she doubted he was going to care about her tears.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Surprised, Quinn turned and found herself looking into familiar blue-gray eyes. "Jesse St. James," she said in disbelief.

"Quinn Fabray," Jesse replied with the hint of a smile.

Of all the people in New York, he has to be the one to sit down next to her, Quinn thought. Physically, he hadn't changed much since the last time she'd seen him at Regional competition the end of her sophomore year. He still tried to keep his brown hair short and contained, but stray curls fell over his forehead. He was dressed all in black and his familiar cocky smile was firmly in place. She was instantly irritated by his presence.

"I'm surprised you remember my name," Quinn said briskly. She eyed Jesse with her infamous ice queen stare. "We didn't have many conversations while you were busy using my best friend to spy on our glee club."

Unfazed, his smile widened. "If I recall, your best friend was using me to make your ex-boyfriend jealous," Jesse countered.

Touché, Quinn thought. Rachel and Jesse's relationship had lasted for about two weeks. Everyone in glee club had been convinced he was using Rachel to find out what songs they were singing in the competition. Rachel had been insulted that they believed she was gullible enough to give him their set list and insisted Jesse was her shot at happiness. But she confided in Quinn that Finn's instant jealousy had given her fresh hope that their relationship still had a chance.

Rachel had been right, of course. Seeing her with Jesse made Finn realize that he wanted to be with Rachel and he made a huge declaration – going as far as singing "Jesse's Girl" in front of the entire glee club – to make sure she knew he was serious about his feelings for her. Rachel ended things with Jesse and he promptly told her he had been using her and he respected her willpower and devotion to her club. The two of them came to some weird understanding and actually shook hands and hugged before parting ways.

Quinn had assumed that Rachel had been too caught up in Finn to care that Jesse had used her. Plus, she had that huge heart and she was a genuinely forgiving person. Quinn knew that better than anyone. But that didn't mean she couldn't hold a grudge against Jesse. The fact that he was still staring her down despite the full dose of the bitch face she was throwing in his direction only added to her irritation.

"Do you want to continue rehashing old grudges or do you want to tell me why you're sitting in the park crying?" Jesse asked.

"I wasn't crying," Quinn replied defensively. His cocky smile had faded and if she didn't know better, she would think he actually looked concerned. But acting was one of his specialties and she was not going to give him the chance of to play whatever game he had in mind.

Jesse raised an eyebrow and she saw that familiar arrogance in his eyes. "Are you going to blame your watery eyes on allergies?"

"What do you care?" Quinn snapped. She shot him one of her icy glares that still made Rachel cower.

"I don't," Jesse replied with an easy shrug. He leaned back against the bench and folded his hands behind his head. "We'll just sit here and enjoy the night air."

Quinn fought the urge to scowl and instead focused on the buildings in the distance. She would just ignore him and after a reasonable amount of time passed, she would get up and walk away. But she was not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking he had run her off. She would sit there all night if she had to.

"Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world, she took the midnight train going anywhere."

"Are you kidding me right now?" Quinn demanded, interrupting Jesse before he could sing the next verse of New Directions' signature song. She turned to face him again with fire in her green eyes. "What are you doing?"

"I like to sing when I'm in the park and I thought you might appreciate a familiar song," Jesse replied. His own eyes were sparkling with amusement and his cocky smile had returned. "Would you prefer a Broadway selection? I can sing anything you'd like. I'm very talented," he reminded her.

She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it. Quinn wasn't sure how to respond to him. She knew she should just get up and walk away, but somehow that felt like caving. "I'd prefer if you didn't sing at all," she said, turning away from him once again.

"All right," Jesse said. "You're probably wondering what I'm doing here in New York since I was accepted to the University of California Los Angeles, which of course, is in Los Angeles. I went there for a year and a half and decided I had too much talent to waste on the west coast. I transferred to Julliard last spring which was an ideal move for my career. I'm double majoring in music and dance and of course I'm still taking acting lessons. I expect to be cast in a Broadway show before the year is over."

Quinn didn't know what to say – she wasn't even sure he was looking for any kind of response. Sure enough, Jesse continued talking.

"I live on the Upper West Side within walking distance of campus. My parents are wealthy and made sure I had a nice apartment to live in so that I can concentrate on my studies and further developing my amazing talent. I usually spend my free time walking in Central Park, but I decided I would do something different this evening and that's how I found myself here in Washington Square Park sitting with you," Jesse said.

Quinn sent him another look, this one more exasperated than icy. "Do you like listening to yourself talk?"

"Very much," Jesse replied. "My voice has a soothing quality to it but it's also matter-of-fact. People compliment me on it often. Of course, I wouldn't have to do all the talking if you would contribute to our conversation. Perhaps you can tell me how you came to be in New York City. Or I can keep talking. Would you like to hear my class schedule?"

"No," Quinn replied with a frustrated sigh. She was beaten and they both knew it. "I'm a student at NYU. I live in the village."

"See? That wasn't so hard," Jesse teased. "What are you studying at NYU?"

Quinn bit her lip. She was used to this question and still embarrassed by her answer. "I haven't decided on a major yet." She waited for him to give her the speech about how important the decision was and how it would be best if she picked one before she started her sophomore year. She had heard it from her advisor and most of her friends over and over again. Rachel was the only one who never pressured her for an answer.

Jesse surprised her by simply nodding. "There's a reason colleges require freshmen and sophomores to fill their schedules with general education credits. It's an opportunity for students to find their passion. I have no doubt you'll find yours, Quinn."

She wasn't sure what to say. His confidence was jarring. Part of her still wondered if he was up to something, but what could he possibly have to gain from being nice to her? "Thank you," she said.

"Anytime," Jesse replied. He smiled at her again. "Now that we know each other a little bit better, would you like to tell me what you were upset about? As much as I enjoy talking, I'm also an excellent listener."

In her mind, Quinn heard herself telling him it was nothing. She didn't want to talk about why this day was so hard for her. That was the whole reason she had come to the park. She didn't want to burden Rachel or anyone else with her sadness. In her mind, she said a quick good-bye to Jesse and walked away before he could start telling her the nutritional value of what he'd had for lunch that afternoon. But somehow the quick conversation she made up in her head did not translate when she opened her mouth.

"It's my daughter's third birthday." The instant the words were out of her mouth, Quinn wondered what on earth had possessed her to say them. Jesse St. James was the last person she should be opening herself up to. She stared down at her hands and waited for his inevitable long-winded response.

"You miss her."

The simplicity of the statement threw her. Quinn looked up to meet his gaze and she couldn't really read his expression. He was watching her closely, but he wasn't smirking any more. Instead, he was just waiting for her answer and once again, she was not sure why she gave him one.

"I do miss her." Quinn's voice faltered, but a quick deep breath held the tears back. "I think about her all the time and wonder what she's like. I wonder if she still looks more like me than Puck and I wonder if –" She stopped herself before she can say the words. She had never said them out loud before and she was not sure she could.

"What do you wonder, Quinn?" Jesse asked softly.

The tears were back and there was no stopping them from rolling down her cheeks. He was still watching her just as intensely, but now she could read the look in his eyes. It was encouragement. He was offering her an outlet and she desperately wanted to take it.

"I wonder if she'll ever know how much I love her." She brushed the tears away with the back of her hand, but they just kept falling. "I gave her up because it was the best thing for her. But what if she doesn't see it that way? What if she grows up thinking I'm some horrible monster who didn't care enough to keep her?" The tears blurred her vision and made her voice thick, but she kept talking. "What if she thinks I stopped caring about her the second her parents took her away? What if she hates me?"

"What if she does?" Jesse asked.

Choking on her sobs, Quinn gaped at him. She had just opened her heart and let her feelings pour out and he had the nerve to ask her that question – basically acting like it was no big deal that her daughter might hate her someday. She had always thought he was a self-absorbed douche, but this brought a whole new meaning to the word.

"Is that your idea of comfort? If it is, you're failing miserably," she told him.

Once again, he wasn't fazed by her iciness. His eyes locked with hers. "You're not looking for comfort. If you wanted comfort, you wouldn't be crying in the park pouring your heart out to someone who is a step above a stranger. There's a reason you chose to tell me these things, Quinn. Now answer my question."

"The question being what if my daughter grows up hating me and thinking I never loved her? I'm sure that would be swell, Jesse. Thanks for asking. Maybe instead of singing and acting, you should consider a job where you cheer people up for a living," Quinn snapped.

Jesse laughed softly at her sarcasm. "I'll take it under advisement." His smile faded again and his eyes were serious when they met her. "You're taking my question too literally. All these fears that you have about your daughter growing up hating you are irrational. I assume you did a thorough search before settling on adoptive parents and didn't just hand the baby off to the first couple who walked past your hospital room. Correct?"

"Yes," Quinn hissed, wondering where he was going with this.

"I also think it's safe to assume that the couple in question was extremely grateful to you and promised to take excellent care of your daughter. Am I correct again?" Jesse asked.

"Yes." She still didn't understand what he was getting at, but she wished he would get there quickly.

"The logical conclusion I come to from these astute assumptions is that your daughter is being raised by loving parents who are going to dote on her and make sure she always has plenty of love and support. Since they are grateful to you, I am sure they will tell your daughter wonderful things about the generous girl who wanted her to have a better life. But for argument's sake, let's say that's not enough and she still resents you for giving her away and tells her parents that she's glad she never met you and she couldn't ask for better parents. That brings me back to my original question. What if that happens? Would you wish that you didn't give her up for adoption so she would still love you?" Jesse asked.

"No," Quinn said softly. She finally understood what he was getting at. Her daughter was exactly where she was supposed to be. Her adoptive parents were amazing people and Quinn had no doubt they would tell her little girl how much she loved her. It was irrational to think otherwise. "You must think I'm being selfish."

"Not at all," Jesse replied. "But you do. You think it's selfish to have these thoughts and that's why you've been keeping them to yourself until this moment."

Once again, she knew he was right. She did think it was selfish to dwell on the "what ifs" and worry about whether or not her daughter would ever think about her. She was feeling sorry for herself and she was ashamed of herself for having these feelings. That was why she never said anything to Rachel, why she had come to the park in the first place to avoid her best friend. Quinn didn't want Rachel to know how messed up she really was.

"I just want her to be happy and in my heart, I know she is," Quinn said. Her heart ached as she said the words, but she knew it was the truth. She wiped away the rest of her tears with the back of her hand. She had done the best she could for her daughter and now she just needed to accept that. "I'm always going to miss her though."

Jesse nodded. "You never have to be ashamed because you miss her. There's nothing wrong with thinking about her or even crying because you're not with her on her birthday. That's not selfish."

His tone was reassuring and Quinn found herself starting to believe him. He'd been right about everything else so far, maybe he was right about this too. "Before you sat down, I was thinking about her playing on the swings. When I was three, I loved being pushed on the swing set we had in our backyard. My parents used to tell me that I would have made them keep pushing me all night if they'd let me." For the first time that day, she gave him a genuine smile. "I suppose you were already singing and dancing at three."

"Of course," Jesse replied. His tone was serious, but the twinkle in his eye told her he was kidding. "Actually, I was a big fan of the slide at the local park. The older kids tried to monopolize it, but I stood up to them."

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "At the tender age of three you took on the playground bullies and won?" She didn't bother to hide her skepticism.

"I'm Jesse St. James," he reminded her.

She laughed. "Yes you are." Quinn was still having a hard time wrapping her mind around the fact that she was sitting her with Jesse of all people and he was actually making her feel better.

He surprised her by taking her hand in his. She looked at him with questioning eyes. He squeezed her hand once and then let it fall back into her lap. "You're going to be okay, Quinn."

Something told her that he wasn't just talking about tonight and once again she found herself believing him. "Thank you for listening. I guess I didn't realize how much I needed to get this off my chest."

"You're welcome," Jesse replied. He held gaze for a moment and then his cocky smile returned. "Would you like to sing with me now? We could finish Don't Stop Believing or we could do a song of your choosing."

"Absolutely not," Quinn said.

Jesse laughed. "Your loss. I'm an excellent singing partner, but I'm sure you know that from seeing me perform with Vocal Adrenaline." He stood up. "I should be getting home. I try and get to sleep before eleven so that my body has plenty of time to rest and regroup before vigorous rehearsals."

"I think I finally I understand why it was so easy for Rachel to get past you using her. You two are basically the same person," Quinn commented.

"Rachel and I do possess many of the same qualities. I always admired her drive and ambition and I'm sure her talent has excelled. Please tell her I said hello," Jesse said.

Quinn nodded. "I will. Thanks again, Jesse."

He flashed her one last smile. "I'll be seeing you around, Quinn."

As she watched him walk away, she wondered if that was a promise.