Characters: Sam Bosco, Lisbon

Spoilers: Season Three, especially the events and aftermath of Red John's Friends

Genre: Unrequited love, angst and a good dose of Bosco-brand gallows humor

Dearest Teresa,

I asked the lawyer handling my will to make sure this letter got to you. I rewrite it every year or so, so this should be a pretty recent update. Mandy doesn't know about it, so don't worry. I just had a few things I had to get off my chest, even if it's after I'm dead. On the up side, dead means I can't be embarrassed, so… hey, cut a guy some slack. If I can't crack bad jokes when I'm dead, then there's no justice in this universe. And don't cry. I never want to make you cry, because I remember how puffy your eyes got that one time on the Marquez case back when you were a rookie. Man, that was a bad look for you. Seriously. Smiles only, kiddo.

One: I kind of love you. I have for about fifteen years now, so this confession might be a little late. Then again, you're a smart girl. I'm sure you figured it out by now. I know I'm not great at the whole flirting thing, so what I thought were subtle hints were probably hit-you-on-the-head A-bombs. Still. I wasn't ever going to do something drastic, like leave Mandy and the kids to fling myself at your feet in the precinct to spout stupid love poetry, but it doesn't mean I love you any less. I hope you realize that you deserve a guy that can give you everything, not just some schmuck with family drama like me. I hope you find him someday.

Two: If you're going to find that guy, you gotta date. For God's sake, kid, I can count your dates in the last fifteen years on fingers and toes. I mean, unless you lead some secret double life. Which I doubt, but it'd be a fun fantasy. Something to occupy my mind during long, boring stakeouts. But you always knew I was kind of a lech.

Three: Stay away from Jane. That guy is BAD NEWS. Yeah, like the capslock kind. I don't know what kind of crap he whispers in your ear to make you accept him as part of your team, but he's the worst kind of cowboy, the kind that's gonna get you or some innocent bystander killed. I hate guys like him, guys that ride along on their charm thinking their shit don't stink. Anyways, yeah. I know you're all about saving people like they're birds with broken wings, but trust me- that bird is a freaking predator, and he'll rip you to shreds just when you think you've got him tamed. Don't ever turn your back on him and for God's sake, don't fall for his charming bullshit. He's just behind me on the list of guys you should never date/kiss/hug/love/sleep with.

Four (and finally): I'm sorry to say goodbye this way. Chances are I had a heart attack from eating fast food on the sly all the time, or stroked out from yelling at Jane for screwing with regulations, or some other equally boring and uninteresting death. I'm kind of hoping it was more dramatic than that- maybe a shootout with a suspect, or a bombing, or something else fun. You know, something my kids can tell their kids about. Grandpa was a hero. See, this is his posthumous service award for conspicuous bravery. Something cool. But however I croaked, I hope I was able to say goodbye to you in person, and that I drummed up the guts to tell you that I love you.

I love you, Teresa. Take care of yourself, kid, and stay out of trouble.

Always yours,

Sam