I saw what Dimitri had meant when he had told me he didn't want to see me. I could only imagine what it must have been like, for him to have gone through all that he did. And to top that off, he had been placed in this lonely place with nothing with his thoughts, which were still guilty.

But Dimitri had fought for me when I had been dragged away from the hearing. He was yelling out to me, screaming to me, to fight for myself. But I had not listened to him.

He had made his choice.

I clutched my knees on the stone cold ground. My face was a mask of dried up tears that had enclosed my face as I had, very sloppily, brushed them away with my hand. I honestly didn't care at this point, and that didn't just mean my appearances, but it was instinct to wipe them away before they grew cold.

I was huddled up in the farthest corner of the cell, exactly like the one that had held Dimitri only a couple of weeks ago. They didn't feed me well, which I guess was to be expected.

But this was worse than Dimitri's situation, I think. At least he had been under strict supervision, which I was too, maybe even more heavily than him, since my previous experiences with breaking out of jail had all gone swimmingly. But he had been kept away, out of the eye of the public.

With me, I was out on public display, as far as I was concerned. Anyone who wanted to see 'the queen's murderer' could, and would, just walk in here, talk to the guards about what I deserved, and left. I just starred at the ground until they left, but I was tired and hungry, and I really couldn't be bothered lifting my head again, or moving at all.

But, thankfully, I got the privilege of telling who I didn't want to see me like this. The list had been so long, the guard had ordered another to get me a pen and paper to write them all down. Of course, I had had the pen taken off of me and a thorough search had taken place afterwards.

But there was one name that I was putting on and rubbing off the list. I had fought for him. He had fought for me. I loved him, and he had loved me. Had. But I decided to put Dimitri down, even after all of this. He had told me there was no way he could love me again.

He had made his choice.

That one sentence played through my mind through those few weeks I was in that jail cell. Nothing else. Not even a Dimitri doesn't love me. He had made his choice. I had given away everything to have him back, to be with him, and he hadn't even said a thank you. It was all Lissa.

Jealousy swept over me, but that wasn't the only reason that I placed her name on the paper.

Adrian Ivashkov

Vasilisa Dragomir

Christian Ozera

Jainie Hathaway

Dimtri Belikov

Mia Rinaldi

Eddie Castle

I had handed over the paper to the guard and the pen before they did the search, just in case, and had sat down again. I had also told the guard that more may be added.

I hadn't put Abe's name down, only because he may need to tell me something seriously important about the trial.

And that's how I spent my weeks in the Court's high security jail, awaiting to see if I would be trialed as guilty, even though the evidence was so painfully obvious it would be a cake walk for a four year old. I had bothered to count the eight times Lissa tried to talk to me each day, and as the trial grew closer and closer, it was more and more times.

But I didn't need to see her, and I was finally grateful that she cold not feel what I was feeling through the bond. I saw everything I needed to see, while she saw nothing of how pathetic I was.

She and Christian had forgiven each other, finally, and he was doing a fantastic job of keeping her calm. Adrian popped in once and a while, and Dimitri was there most of the time, but like with Lissa and visiting, he grew more and more distant from her, but not fully. He would still look deeply into her eyes, like he was checking for something.

No matter how macho I tried to act, I would never really get over Dimitri. I had known that all along.

I sighed and leaned against the cold wall so I wasn't supporting any weight on any part of my body. I was sure I would have a hunched back when I got out of here, if I did get out of here, but again, I really didn't care.

"Your slop is coming." A sincere voice came from the other side of the bars. I knew who it was instantly, but I made no attempt to talk. There was sighing coming from him. "Rose, you have to eat. You might still get through this."

I lifted my head and as slow as a snail, turned towards my father. "I doubt it." I snapped as well as I could. "They're starving me in here so I don't have enough energy to escape. People are with me every second of every day and night, yet I'm always alone. People are disgusted in me, not just annoyed or disappointed anymore. They want to kill me. They're taking the easy road again and again it involved me in a bad way. And on top of all that, again I have to get my own way out."

Abe had nothing to say. I knew he saw what the council had become, and poor Zmey, for once, could do nothing. No spies, no messengers, no assassins, nothing would make this any better. All of his connections were useless, as far as he was concerned. I had other uses for them, but I had heeded Tatiana's warnings.

Tell as few people as possible. Abe would be very useful, but could I honestly trust him? I was still unsure, and I couldn't risk anything this big.

Lissa wasn't the only Dragomir left. There was one more. Eric Dragomir's daughter or son was out there somewhere, a half sibling to Lissa. When he or she returned, the Dragomir family could vote against the decree. No sixteen year olds would walk as a full guardian.

But was it really that easy? We had no leads, and that's where I needed his connections.

"If you didn't do it, they'll realize." He tried to sooth me, although it really didn't work for him.

I laughed humorlessly. "Just like that understood that I took Lissa away in the first place for her own safety. They still haven't forgiven me for that."

Apparently, he wanted no more on the conversation. "Your mother has been frantic ever since she found out. She flew down here with her assignment and has been begging the guards to let her see you. She and I were both surprised when we saw you had put her name down."

"Sorry if I want to have dignity left in me without my mother coming in and telling me how disappointed and disgusted she was, just like the rest of them."

He frowned and talked slowly. "Do you honestly think that your friends would do that?"

"No," I admitted, thinking of Dimitri. He would never look at me like that, even if he was keeping his distance from me. "But…dignity, remember?"

He raised an eyebrow. "If you were truly worried about dignity, no one would be down here. You'd take care of yourself a little more, too."

He was talking about my tear stained face that had run my make up all down my face.

I sighed. "Well they haven't even tried to get in. All I hear is Lissa."

"Your mother has tried to get in here twenty two times, you know that?"

I frowned. "She has? I didn't hear-"

"Adrian even more so, although he's been here longer. Christian by himself, without Vasilisa tried quite a few times too. Even Dimitri, maybe more than all of them."

I sighed and tried to not get all worked up. So he had tried to see me, maybe he would just spit on me like the rest of them. True, I know he knew I didn't do it. But it was all I got for a while, sitting in here. I expected everyone to do it.

"Dimitri?" I asked, pretending to be bored.

He nodded shortly. "He's really worried about you. They all are. You need someone like that to comfort you through a time like this."

I shook my head slowly. "No, I'll live. For now." I told him, making my correction as soon as I made the mistake. "I see why Dimitri didn't want me to come in when he was here. It's just so…depressing. You don't hope. It'll always be crushed when you're in here." I paused and thought over my words. "But you can tell them this. I'll see them at the trial."

Abe guessed my face. "And for Dimitri?"

Many words burned on my tongue, most pleading for him to come down and see me. But they burned. One stuck, though.

"He made his choice." I whispered, repeating it over again. Every time, it got easier and harder. Easier to say it. Harder to let go.

Abe sighed sadly, stood for a moment later, than walked out. I turned around and leaned on the wall again, closing my eyes. I slipped into Lissa's mind again, like I always did whenever I thought about her. I needed to make sure she was okay, physically as well as mentally.

She, Christian, Adrian and, god help me, Dimitri, were standing at the closest point they could get to me. Abe stepped out, retrieving his scissors and other metals that had been taken off of him on his way out. Lissa was the first to demand information.

"She's letting me in, right?" she asked in a cry. "Let me through, she's letting me in."

Christian read Abe's expression, not the easiest thing to do, and held Lissa back. She fought in his arms before realizing. She turned into his chest and cried into it. She talked to herself as she sobbed, but I could still hear what was going on.

"Did she say anything else?" Adrian demanded. "Is she alright? Can we go in yet?"

Abe sighed. "I'm afraid not. Apparently, she wants to keep her dignity."

Did it really sound that corny when it came out of my mouth? I realised it probably did.

Abe continued. "She's okay, and she said that she would see you all at the trial." He sounded as though he was talking to Dimitri now. "I pleaded your case too."

Lissa lifted her head at that news and looked at the two of them.

Dimitri's eyes widened. "And?"

"She said to tell you, you made your choice."

Dimitri, I swear to god, flinched.

He sighed after a moment. "That's expected. Anything else?"

He seemed totally crushed, which shocked me. But I did not let myself hope. Hope crushes. Just like everything else in my life.

Abe nodded. "She sees what you saw in that cell. Depressing. Don't deserve anyone. Don't allow yourself hope. I'm fairly sure that even if you didn't keep her out, she would have kept you out. She really cares about you."

He blinked a little too hard, a flinch in my books.

"She also told me she will live, but then thought better of it."

That was so unnecessary!

"This is ridiculous!" Lissa cried. "She didn't even do it! I should at least be able to see her!"

"And do what?" Abe questioned her smoothly. "Stand at her bars and tell her she's going to be okay? That everything will work out? She doesn't believe it, and you don't want to believe it. I'm doing everything I can, but I'm sure it will be enough."

"Are you even trying!" she screamed at him, her face being pulled softly back to Christian's chest.

"If we could get down there, would we be allowed in her cell?" Dimitri asked, earning him a glare from Adrian.

Abe shrugged. "She's probably one of the most wanted criminals in the court right now, but I don't see any reason we wouldn't be allowed in. She'd be hand cuffed, though, for safety. The princess wouldn't be allowed in though, and you certainly wouldn't be just allowed to walk in if she doesn't want you there. The limit is just getting down there."

"She owes you." Lissa said quietly. She was quite disturbed that there was the smallest possibility that she could just walk in there and hug me, but she kept strong. "It's only right. If you could find Tomas…"

Dimitri smiled. "I'll try."

Adrian, apparently, wasn't happy about this arrangement.

"And what about me!" Adrian asked.

They all shrugged.

There was a moment of silence that drifted around them, then drifted around me, and I was back in my cell.

Dimitri would be coming in.

Why did he even bother?