Hi everyone

please be nice to me : )

thank you all for sticking with me through all these years( yeas years) , thank you for the random alerts it just make me soo happy .

it took one single fire and me almost dying to actually continue this story

again all mistkes are mine and I still own nothing , neither making any money ( oh I wish ) , I don't own anything from the CSI Miami show

I still remember that day like it happened yesterday, that day wasn't easy for either of us, even though I finally found out that Ryan is my lost brother, but I

felt at that moment , I lost my brother again.

3mnth Before

Ryan was walking with Frank toward the car, a lot of emotions were inside of him he wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel or react to everything inside him

, he is not sure if he actually understand what's happening to him at the moment , is he even allowed to say or do anything about the whole situation?! The

drive to Ryan flat was silent for the first time , with him , it doesn't matter how he feels, he will always share something about case , or noticing something for

the first time on the road or a new silly theory he came up with , but he will always communicate with me . Frank does not like silent Ryan, it's a bad sign,

that means, he still no accepting what he heard earlier, he started locking himself in his own head with his own thoughts with the worst scenarios ever.

Frank was really considering taking him to his own house , but the way the kid was acting right now, he decide not to do it , the kid needs a place where he

feels comfortable in order for him to think and process the whole situation , and made up his mind to not leave the kid for the time being .

What happened ,and how it happened to him ,it can throw anyone off guard , no one deserve to be in a situation like this .Frank is slightly angry over the

whole thing , and maybe toward Horatio, for keeping such an important detail away from them . but he understands him at the same time, he is obviously

confused, as all of them right now. No, now not the time to get angry at anyone.

This was Frank last thought before parking the car, he called "hey Ryan" while touching his shoulder, which made Ryan flinch immediately "sorry kiddo didn't

mean to scare you , come on lets go inside " , Ryan just nodded , but didn't made any attempt to actually move , Frank went out of the car and went to Ryan

side and open the door to help him out and guide him toward the front door.

Frank was worried, he could see Ryan emotions by the way he was shaking and how distance he looks , so the father inside him just went and throw one hand

around him while walking and just held him while walking . Ryan just got closer to Frank who help him get inside the apartment. the moment Frank closed the

door , Ryan lose it ,he couldn't hold himself anymore so he shifts his arms around the bigger guy neck and just cried his eyes out , everything seems blurred

right now ."hey kiddo it's alright , you will be fine , shhh am here " ,Frank said while immediately respond to the hand around him , Ryan wasn't listening to

Frank words , he was apologizing over and over till he blacked out , while Frank just walked him to his room and kept holding and speaking to him like he is

speaking to a five years old kid . His own kid was heartbroken and it breaks his heart , "am sorry I didn't know" Ryan apologized , " shh kiddo let's not talk

now ", "don't go " he plead between his cries "am not , am always with you kiddo, come, let's get you to bed "."no you will leave " Frank while trying to force

him to sit down " am not leaving you , come on give me your jacket ", Ryan was trying to hold him , but Frank held both of hands " Ry I will need you to calm

down , have I ever lied to you " Ryan was moving his head with No , " good , now am not going anywhere I swear , but first let me help you change, then I

swear I'll jump even to bed with you if that what you want " . "he hates me "he said with tears in his eyes , so Frank Bend in front of him while holding his

face " kiddo no one hates you , not Horatio not anyone else ,you got me , so let's not talk about this now , let's focus on getting you to bed first ", " but I

didn't ..""shsh look at me give me your hand .. good boy "then helped taking his shoes off and putting them a side, Ryan just held him again . Frank gave up

on getting him changed " ok come on lay down" Ryan was shaking his head with NO "I will sit beside you come on lay down " , he did lie down, and

immediately got closer to Frank the moment he sat beside him , and Frank just held him close and start talking to him to calm him down and after sometime,

which felt like forever he surrender to sleep .

3 days after the revealing

Now Frank really loves Ryan, and he will do anything for the kid , but he can drive him crazy some days , and the past days ,were those two days he is talking

about. like he never seen that side of him before , yes he is still locking himself to his own thoughts , but also locking himself physically inside the apartment ,

refusing to talk to him or to Alex , who stop by every day since the incident , but Ryan, is just acting up and being a brat, refusing to acknowledge the whole

situation , and they do understand that , it's not easy ,there is no manual about how to react in a situation like this . but his attitude keep getting worst , an

attitude of a bratty kid is what he keep giving them , and Frank really had to stop himself from not spanking the kid , even though he really need a good old

fashion spanking to knock some sense in him .

Frank made the decision , Ryan might not like it in the beginning , but something must be done , so he pick up his phone and called Horatio "hey Horatio, are

you around ?" he asked ."hey Frank , sure tell me what do you need " was Horatio respond , "can you come to Ryan apartment ?","when". "now"," now, is

everything ok , is he ok?" Horatio sounded concerned , in that moment Frank knew he made the right call "not for a long time , you need to come now Horatio

","Frank you are scaring me ", "don't be , just be here as soon as you can , and I'll explain everything " .

Frank was waiting for Horatio outside the building, so they can have a private conversation first, Horatio came running "Frank what the hell, you scared me, is

Ryan fine?". "he is not Horatio, he is driving me crazy ", Horatio looked puzzled "what are you talking about Frank ", "you need to talk to him ", "am not sure if

this is the right thing to do , I don't want to push him ". "Horatio, you will push him, or God help me am murdering your baby brother, then you ". "wooh

Frank he is pushing you hard, first calm down, tell what's happening here?" . "he is lost Horatio , he is trying to show us how tough he is by not showing his

emotions , he is trying to handle this as an adult , but all you can see is a lost and scared kid . his world turned upside down in one night , he is stuck at that

moment , he is shaken up thinking that his boss who sees him as his role model, then turned down to be his older brother, hates him " , "OMG " Horatio

looked devastated hearing Frank words , "Horatio , I know you keep calling him , but he keep giving himself all the wrong excuses of why you are calling , he

won't pick up the phone to find out the truth, for the fear that his excuses will become reality. Which both of us know it's not true . He is missing work but \

keep saying he will change his career path .Horatio he is not eating , and he keep drinking coffee so he won't fall asleep , because he keep getting nightmares

, he is anxious, on the edge most of the day , and he have an attitude of a five year old kid , throwing tantrum about anything and everything , and am so

ready to treat him as one "

"Frank just try to breath in and out ", Horatio instructs him "Horatio he is your brother, weather he like it or not. he is confused. you really need to talk to him

, let's try to sort this family thing .he is so lost Horatio .he is angry ,sad but he is not talking to me , he is a volcano ready to explode at any minute. But still

Neither myself nor Alex were able to get to him. I need my Ryan back Horatio ". Horatio held his friend and said" Frank, we will figure this out, and Ryan will

be Alright, we will be alright. I will take to him we will sort this misunderstanding. I started this and I should solve it ".

Frank lead Horatio to Ryan's apartment. Ryan was sitting on the couch, the moment he saw Frank he opened his mouth to say something , but then Horatio

showed up also" what is he doing here " , he said angrily to Frank , Frank was calm when he said " he is here to talk to you " , Ryan was trying not to look

toward Horatio and continue with the same tone " I don't want to talk to him" , Frank went and stand in front of him " you need to talk to your brother " , that

surprise Ryan for some reason " am not …I mean he is not, no I won't talk to anyone " , Frank wasn't that thrilled about Ryan attitude so he said firmly "

Ryan, you are going to talk to him , and later you and me kid, we will have our TALK ". Ryan was not happy about Frank words but he manage to say "where

are you going " , Frank can see the change in his face and tone , so he said softly " don't worry am not leaving you . but both of you need some privacy ".

Ryan was moving his head " No, we don't need , I don't want to talk to him Frank , please don't go " , Frank steal his heart when he saw Ryan tears, so he

kissed his forehead and whisper in his ear " you will be fine kid" and left the house .

Ryan was furious by now " I don't want to talk to you " , Horatio was calm as his usual self, even though he was feeling guilty from the inside , " ok then , let's

not talk " , " you can't make me do it " , " I won't make you do anything , you don't want to do " , Ryan was angry now "don't agree with me " , " ok I won't "

. this is just make Ryan frustrated " just... " he want to say something , but it came out as a scream , Horatio " Ryan calm down " , he snapped " don't tell me

to calm down ", " ok am sorry , tell me what do you want me to do ".Ryan was trying not to break down in front of him " I don't want to…why are you here

Horatio? " , " I wanted to check on you " ."why?", "you left in a bad condition last time I saw you , and I couldn't figure out how are you doing ?","can't you

see , I am a mess , I don't know how I feel , I can't even figure me out " , " am really sorry Ryan "," why are you apologizing ?!" Ryan sounded confuse

"because this was a horrible way to find out the truth " Horatio said " yes it was " , " I am really sorry ", " because am the same person in the picture ? " Ryan

said through his tears , Horatio looked stunned "oh Ryan no, no, no , never , I am actually so happy it was you ", "no you are not , you are just saying this to

.." , " to what Ryan ?" , Ryan was confused now " I don't know " , " Ryan have I ever lied to you before ?" , Ryan " did you ?" , Horatio was fascinated by his

way of talking, like he is having a conversation with a kid , so he said " you tell me ", " I don't know " , " oh you know , deep down you know me Ryan " ,

Ryan was surprised when he heard his own name, that his whole body start shaken , Horatio can see him and he really wants to comfort the young man in

front of him and tell him everything will be fine , they will be fine , but he couldn't do it , not when Ryan on this state of denial , so he said " tell me Ryan

whatever on your mind , please " Ryan looked broken when he said " you loved your brother , even before you knew him , like you did everything you can to

find him , and I was here and I really wanted you to find him , but I was being bad , feeling jalouse of him already , because you already love him

unconditionally , he will hang out with you tell you everything he want and still you will love him anyway , and me being here not able to do any of it with you

, just how pathetic I am ?", Horatio was feeling even more guiltier than before , but felt a little angry , so he said with the best big brother tone " Ryan let me

clear one thing before I answer you . you are not bad nor pathetic , you hear me. you are not allowed to say these things about yourself, not today, not

tomorrow ever. do you understand me ", Ryan was taken back by his words so he respond immediately with " Yes sir ", Horatio smiled then said " good boy ,

now tell me why can't you do these things with me?", " because you don't like me , I mean I know you trust me but you don't trust me like the others , and

yes, I do some stupid things sometime , but I think am a good person ". now Horatio knows he can't get angry at him after hearing his words ,that because

he is the reason why the kid think this way , it breaks his heart for making Ryan feels this way ," oh Ryan am really sorry that I gave that feeling, I am a bad

person ","no you are not ", " I am Ryan , I am bad, for making you feel you need to work extra hard so you can impress me , Ryan I see you , no I saw you

from the first time you joined my team . I saw how wonderful person you are , how are you working hard even though you make it look effortless , you are a

good person Ryan , it wasn't you fault , it was never about you ,it was about me , and how I was a coward after I lost Speedle . I built walls between us , I

thought that if I didn't care about you then it will get less painful for me and you if something happened " Ryan looked stunned when he said " what !" , "

Ryan I really need you to understand this , no one should be treated the way we treated you , especially your boss , that's me, who was being one selfish

man, I was the one who has issues, still have. it was never about you, and your work. Ryan, I need you to understand THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT ". there

was silence for some time, until Ryan said "so, you like me", Horatio was not sure if this was a question or a statement. Horatio can see now what Frank said

earlier "I do. now I did not just like you, the last time I saw you, and not when I found out you are the same person in the picture. it was long time ago. I saw

how an amazing person you are at work, and off work , but being the stubborn me , I said nothing , so you see, am a bad person " , Ryan calmed a little , so I

asked " can you please sit down ?" Ryan didn't fight him or object to his request , he just went and sit down , " can I sit beside you Ryan?" , he nodded his

head , so Horatio sat beside him, but kept his distance. he didn't want to scare him or invade his personal space if he is not ready yet, "so Ryan tell me , is it

that bad that I am your brother? " , Ryan looked terrified " no H, am sorry I didn't mean that " , Horatio smiled, a real smile for the first time he arrive , he

went and touched Ryan cheek " hey, hey , calm down baby boy .you don't need to apologize , I just need to understand why did you apologize to me when

you left my office " , " because after all your search and effort to find your brother , you end up with me " Horatio would have scolded him of it was a different

day, but not today " I think you need to give yourself some credits here ", " for what being the biggest fool in the whole world ", Horatio get close to Ryan and

held his face and force him to look at him " what did I say earlier , it doesn't matter if you will accept me as your older brother or not that doesn't change

anything . you are not allowed to talk bad about yourself ", " but I am a fool " ," I swear Ry, am going to ground you if you keep saying these awful things

about yourself ", Ryan smiled for the first time in days and said ,"you are like Frank", "well he had a point . now Ry I want you to listen to me ", Ryan

surprised him with his question " why are you trying so hard Horatio " ." because I am happy that I finally found my brother , and am even more thrilled that

it was you "."no you are not ", "remember that day , when I drove you to your house " ,"no " and I know he remember, but was trying to make me stop

talking , but I continue anyway "when we had a similar conversation , and you were trying to act tough and not taking care of yourself , just so you can find my own brother " Ryan thought Horatio won't

remember " and apparently things didn't change much since that day , and you still not taking care of yourself , but that will be a conversation for another time. Anyway, what I wanted to say, is that day, was

the day I wished my brother will be like you in some way ".

Ryan started crying , Horatio felt really bad for making him cry , but relieved at the same time , he really wants him to express his feeling it doesn't matter how , as long as he will let it all out, he is good , so

he continue talking , while keeping an eye contact with him " Ry I am glad that it was you , I am glad that I finally got you in my life . I have every possible scenario you could think of, about who is my

brother, how he will look, is he aware about another family waiting for him outside or not. I started asking myself if I will be able to build a relationship with someone who might not want me in his life .a lot of

questions and thoughts were floating in my head , but never thought, that you could be that near me. Ry my only regret I did not show the picture earlier to you all, again my pride gets in the way. but you

Ryan Wolf being part of my life, part of my family, is brining me so much joy, I never experienced before. I am thrilled, happy, and excited to this chapter in my, no, in our life ".

Ryan was overwhelmed with emotions, so he hides his between his hand, and just continue crying harder than ever. Horatio without even thinking, just get closer to him and held him, in attempt to calm him

down, Ryan immediately held him tighter "hey kiddo, it's ok, we will be ok , but please Ry talk to me . I don't want you to keep any doubts inside you ", " I don't know what I need to do now, I don't know

how I feel now " he said through his tears , Horatio just held his face in his hands and asked him " do you want me to leave ?" , Ryan was shaking his head "no please don't " , Horatio smiled and kissed his

forehead and that make Ryan cry harder , so Horatio went and held him again, " shh am staying , am not leaving you ever you hear me , can you please stop crying " . they stayed like this for a long moment

, Horatio enjoying Ryan in his arms , and Ryan being held in his arms, until he stopped crying . Ryan said once he calm down " can you forgive for what I said to you in the office? " ," baby boy ,am not even

mad at you ","am really sorry , this not how you suppose to talk to your boss "," hey I get it , you were upset when you find out your picture on your boss desk, and you thought I back-stab you ", Ryan felt

embarrassed, so he tried hiding his face on his chest " yeah , this is the stupid things , I mentioned earlier, you know the same one that will make Frank mad at me . you will regret finding me ", " Never Ry ,

at the moment I think you are the only good thing I have " , " but .."Horatio cut him off while facing him " not another word, no buts , you let me decide that, not you , do I make myself clear " Ryan nodded

his head " good boy , I will ask you this then , do you hate me ? ", the question took Ryan by surprise "no, I swear, no H ", "then why you keep saying things like this about yourself. I know this is not easy ,

it's a new adjustment for both of us but am willing to do it either way , the question is , are you Ry?" , he was thinking about and he said while looking down " am afraid " , " of what, baby boy? " , " failing

you ", again Horatio touch his chin and left it " you will never fail me Ry , never , you are your own man , we might fight , clash, which is normal in any healthy relationship. but this is goes both ways, I might

fail you too, well, I failed you when I made you feel less than the other team members. but from now on, I will try herder , I will do everything in my power to let you know your true worth " , " are you sure?

" , " not again " he plead " please H " , again Horatio touch his cheek and said " yes I am sure Ry . you were there when I started my journey to find you , did it cross your mind I will gave up looking for my

brother under any circumstance " , " no " , " so now why do you think I will let you go , and if you say a bad word about yourself ,am putting you on the naughty chair " , "you won't " , " well you say the

word , and we will see " Ryan , was thinking about it , but shake his head " good boy . listen to me carefully, stop doubting you worth , you are an amazing human being and am the luckiest brother having

someone like you , sweet ,honest , little naughty to drive Frank Crazy , being a brother to someone bad like me " , Ryan said " you are ok H", " gee thank you for your kind words Ry " Ryan smiled , and

Horatio just kissed his forehead and held again .

He knew that moment they will make it work, it does not matter how long it will take, but they will be family at the end. that moment Horatio knew he finally got his baby brother back .

Again thank you for reading this chapter , and I really hope you enjoyed it as much as I did the writing

please stay home , stay safe people , you all matter

have a good day