Disclaimer – This is not very Twilight-y, but either way, I still don't own Twilight. Betward, Chelsea, and the porn bench I do own.

Chapter 13 Outtakes

In chapter 13 Edward says there was one time he was dangerously close to having sex with Chelsea, here is that time. If you no likey the whole Ed and Chels thing then just skip to the next one.

The Almost Sex Outtake

I walked past Bella today and I thought about reaching out and touching her arm. Then I imagined that she would've turned and looked at me. Perhaps she would have thought I wanted to get her attention and then I would've spoken to her. I don't know what I would've said "How do you like all the rain we've had lately?" or "I'm an asshole can you ever forgive me?" It didn't matter because as I reached my hand out she drifted away through the people who were crowding the hallway until she was lost in the sea of bodies…lost.

I tipped my head back and quickly downed a shot of tequila.

I saw the back of her head in class today. She was wearing a headband that matched her sweater. She wore a ring on her pointer finger that I don't recall her ever wearing before and a bracelet that looked homemade. It was on her right wrist as the ring was on her right hand, the same hand that came up and messed with the headband…32 times. I knew this because I stared at the back of her for the entire class period, the only time when avoiding her was impossible.

I took another shot.

At lunch today I heard an underclassman, one of Chesty's friends I guess, ask Bella if she knew me and she said "Not really, no". I knew her. I knew all of her little idiosyncrasies. I knew what her favorite shirt was, how she had to line up the papers perfectly before she stapled them, and that she messed with her hair and bit her lip when she was nervous. I knew how to make her blush and where she was ticklish and how she liked to be touched. I knew exactly how she smelled and tasted even though I had had such a short time with her, I still knew her and yet she didn't know me? I guess that was ok, I didn't really feel like I knew me anymore either or maybe I just didn't want to.

I took another shot.

Jacob picked Bella up from school today. He walked up to her and took her bag from her and put his hand protectively on her back. They smiled at each other and talked happily about things I couldn't hear. It was probably about how much they loved each other or some shit.

I took another shot.

I was sitting on my unmade bed surrounded by papers and books all around me and dirty clothes, towels, dishes, and who knows what else covered the floor. I picked up the phone, closed one eye so I could see straight, and dialed Bella's phone number. As soon as I hit the last number I hung up.

I took a double shot.

Before I could put the phone down it rang.

"Hello" I slurred.

"Edward! Hey, Baby, watcha doin'?"

She didn't notice my slurred speech probably because this was how I always sounded. Maybe she thought I had a speech impediment. She probably didn't think anything at all (ever) and that truth almost made me laugh.

"I'm evaluating the law of relativity." I replied in a serious tone as I swirled the amber colored liquid around in its bottle.

"Is that code for masturbation?"

"Um, not that I know of."

"Well, maybe you would like some company?" Yeah, maybe I would, but not really from her.

"Sorry, but my parents' room is right by mine and they would freak the fuck out if they heard you in my room and then they would call your parents…it would be a big disaster." I said in a concerned tone.

I sounded very convincing, but the truth was my father and Esme's room was about as far from my room as a room could get in this house and I could have a marching band in here and they wouldn't fucking know it.

"Oh, that's ok. My parents are gone for the night, so you could come here."

"I wish I could, but I'm way too drunk to drive."

Cheers to that and I took another shot.

"That's ok, Baby. I'll come get you."

"Whatever." I said indifferently and hung up.

I really didn't like Chelsea's voice or the words that that voice said or the facial expressions she made when her annoying voice was saying idiotic things. But, even more than that I disliked being alone. When I was alone, especially when I was sober, I would think about Bella. I would miss her and wonder what she was doing. It was painful to miss her and even more so to imagine what she was doing with Jacob, or rather what he was doing to her. It was torture and I tried to distract myself as much as I could.

I was lying on my side at the edge of the bed, barely conscious, with my hand resting on the handle to the drawer of my nightstand. I had shoved Bella's picture from my locker in there and I wanted desperately to look at it, but I didn't have the strength, not emotionally or physically. Instead I just stared off into space and felt my chest go up and down with each breath while my hand remained still.

All of a sudden a loud ringing noise was in my ear and I realized that the phone was on my pillow.

"Hello" I said in a raspy voice.

"Hey, Baby. I'm outside."

"Ok" I said and hung up. I hated that she called me baby, but she knew I fucking hated to be called Eddie worse of all and apparently Edward was insufficient. What the hell was up with these broads giving me stupid nicknames?

I took another double shot.

I didn't even sit up before I took the drink and most of it spilled on my face, but I quickly lapped it up by swirling my tongue wherever it would reach around my mouth.

I was glad to discover I still had my shoes on and I stumbled my way down the stairs. When I made it to my driveway it looked like the gravel was rolling like waves of the ocean and it took all I had not to fall before I reached Chesty's little, red car. I plopped myself down in the seat and silently cursed myself for not bringing the bottle of booze with me.

I couldn't remember getting up to her room, but I knew I was currently lying on her bed. I buried my face in her pillow because it smelled like strawberries. It was too dark to see and I imagined that I was in Bella's room instead of where I actually was. I could hear her fumbling around and then her weight on the bed and then on top of me. Her long hair cascaded around me and it smelled of strawberries too. She must've been listening when she was talking to her sassy, red headed friend about shampoo and I said coconut smelled like shit and that I only liked strawberry.

"Mmm" She smelled so good. "Bella" I whispered because I couldn't help it.

I wasn't very coherent at that moment and the only thing that registered was that there was a lot of movement. When my eyes refocused I realized that neither I nor she had shirts on anymore. After that more clothes were discarded in a frantic frenzy. Then as if in slow motion a car passed on the street and its headlights shone on Chelsea's face. She was not Bella. She would never be Bella.

I growled and flipped her over so I was above her and she was below, but that still wasn't good enough. I flipped her over again, so all I could see was her naked back. I ran my hands over her skin, but only for a moment. There was no heat or passion. Her skin wasn't even pale in the moonlight and despite being a little more plump her skin wasn't even soft like…

"I can't do this." I mumbled before I staggered to the bathroom, grabbing my clothes on the way, and threw up everything that was in my stomach (which was mostly booze).

I don't know how I had enough sense to lock the door behind me, but thank God I did.

"Edward, are you ok?"

I was puking my guts up what did she think?

After a long while she managed to pick the lock and walk in. My back was against the wall and my head was on my knees as my legs were drawn in close to my chest. I was half way to passing out and half way to developing a plan on how I could get home in order to spare myself from having to be here in the light of day. The only worse thing than being around Chesty sober was being around her hung over.

She was instantly at my side running her fingers through my hair and stroking my cheek. If I had more, or any, energy left I would have swatted her hand away or at the very least told her to fuck off.

"Aw, Baby, you drink too much."

"You talk too much." I blurted out, but didn't have it in me to feel bad about it.

She sighed and walked away. When I knew she was sleeping I left and walked home, but not before paying a visit to my favorite Maple tree.

The Stealing of the Weight Bench Outtake

I quit the team, finally. It was a long time coming. Well, not literally a long time, but it felt like a long time as I could barely keep up the charade as it was. I eat (somewhat), sleep (sometimes), and answer people who talk to me (barely), but I'm trying.

I don't know what the fuck to do. She's gone and I can't find her. Maybe she doesn't want to be found. The way I acted when she told me about the baby, our baby, was deplorable. The way I acted the whole time was…fuck, I can't even think about it anymore. I can't possibly hate myself any more than I already do. Wherever Bella is she is probably hating me too and I hope she is. It's what I deserve.

My adrenaline was still pumping from my last work out and I don't know what to do with myself. When I quit drinking I was much better at keeping my room clean and I really didn't feel like taking a shower. What I felt like doing was punching Mike in the fucking face for purposely using my weight bench because he knew it would me the fuck off.

All of a sudden it was like a light bulb went off over my head.

That weight bench is mine and it should be with its rightful owner.

I raced downstairs to see if Jasper was here and rejoiced when I saw that he was. I barged into the family room where he and Alice were watching TV or a movie or something.

"Hey, Jasper, can I borrow your truck, please."

"Dude, what's wrong with the Volvo?"

"It's not a truck."

"Did you just notice this? Oh, and I thought you were a mute."

Alice just ignored the conversation because she knew I was going through a hard time and it pained her know that I was in pain.

"I just need to pick something up."

He hesitated, but Alice gave him the look and he nodded at her before he walked out to the foyer with me.

"Dude, here are the keys, but so help me if you fuck up my truck…"

He didn't need to elaborate on the threat and he went back to the family room while mumbling about some sort of southern bro code that I wasn't unaware of, but apparently it was unacceptable to ask a fellow dude to borrow his truck, gun, or dog. Jasper didn't even have a gun or a dog.

I hopped in the truck and made my way to the empty parking lot of the school. The one good thing about going to a small school in an equally small town is the lack of security. There were no cameras or security guards or any of that shit at Forks High. I pulled around back and parked the truck close to the building.

The locker rooms were in the basement, so the tops of the windows were level with the parking lot. These windows were often left cracked open because it was an old fucking school and let's face it, the boy's locker room doesn't smell like roses.

I found a window and pried it open and slid in landing on a wooden bench. I quickly made it to the coach's office which was unlocked and it only took me a moment of rifling through the drawers to find the keys.

'You shouldn't be doing this, Edward. You could get in big trouble.'

Bella's voice was scolding me and at that moment I rather enjoyed being crazy.

"I don't care about trouble. I don't care about anything at the moment besides getting our weight bench!"

'It's not our weight bench, it belongs to the school! What you are doing is illegal and you could be arrested!'

I scoffed at the reasonable Bella that seemed to live in my head.

"It is our weight bench. It's the only thing I can have that will tie me to you. You're gone and the baby's gone. Let me have this!" I screamed and made my way to the weight room without any further interruption.

Maybe a part of me hoped that I would get arrested because then at least I would've been able to ask Bella's father where she was or at least how she was doing.

I opened doors and moved the truck closer. Somehow I managed to get that thing in the back of the truck by myself and then I went back and erased any trace that I had been there and locked everything back up. I even rearranged the weight room, so the missing bench would be less noticeable.

Jasper helped me get the weight bench up to my room without asking any questions which was good because I wouldn't have answered any of them. I think he was just happy that his precious truck had made it back unscathed.

After Jasper had left it was just me and the weight bench in the middle of the room. I stared at it for awhile and then I sat on it. It shouldn't have been that big of deal as I, not to mention Mike's nasty ass, have sat on it plenty of time, but it was.

I thought it would make me feel better to have it. I thought it would make me feel closer to Bella, but in reality it just made me feel further away. It just reminded me of the past and what I couldn't have. It reminded me of things I didn't need reminding of because I would never be able to fucking forget.

I pushed the weight bench into the closet and left it there.

A/N – I hope you enjoyed these. I needed to get them out of my head and hopefully it gave you a better look into our beloved Betward's head.

I have at least one more that I want to do and that has to do with how Betward chose Joey's name, but there might be more.

I know I would like to do The Fandom Gives Back and write something for the 'what if' game. Basically the winner would be able to pick something and I would write a version of TB based on that change such as Edward is there instead of Jacob when she finds out that she's pregnant or Bella never comes back to Forks and they find each other later, something like that. More info on that later.

Thanks for reading!