Author's Notes: Well here it is. The final chapter of Secrets That Kill. I won't lie, I'm a little weepy. Thanks to chiisai-kitty for her mad beta skills. I won't go on and on here, I'll save it. Enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters.

Secrets That Kill

Chapter Twenty-Five

APOV

I stayed at the hospital for as long as I could stand. Seeing Sookie so helpless enraged me. Seeing her injuries made my stomach roll with grief. They admitted her and wanted to keep her at least 24 hours for observation. When they moved her to a room, I went with her, holding her hand because she refused to let it go. She was drifting in and out of consciousness and by the time the painkillers took effect, she was out.

I sat with her while Jason explained to the others what had gone down. I had only been able to look at Adele once and I just couldn't meet her gaze. The guilt was too much. Sookie was her everything, I could see it in her eyes when she had rushed into the ER and to Sookie's side. The relief and love I saw had overwhelmed me. The way she leaned against Jason and wept into his shoulder undid me.

I sat with Sookie and stared down at her.

Fractured cheekbone.

Multiple cuts on the collarbone and chest.

Multiple abrasions and bruises on the face, stomach, wrists, and throat.

Bump on the head, but no concussion.

Not to mention the possible sexual assault. I couldn't bring myself to even think about it. She had said he didn't rape her and I believed it, but there was so much more he could have done that didn't involve penetration.

I wasn't fool enough to believe that none of this wouldn't have happened if it hadn't been for me. Sookie had been Sam's target all along. He would have gone after her regardless of her connection to me. But would he have been this violent if she had been single and a virgin? I didn't think so. If she had been the woman he had built her up to be, he would have treated her like gold. She had been his vision of perfection and when it turned out not to be true, he had lashed out and did all this to her.

I held her hand and waited for her to wake up. Dr. Ludwig, the attending physician when Sookie came in, had said that she would sleep for several hours. Pam had taken Sam into custody and would process him through the system. We would question him later. Right now you couldn't pry me away from Sookie with a ten foot pole. I had to be here with her, holding her hand. I had to touch her. It was the only way I knew she was really safe.

I came so close to losing her. When I saw the blood on her, the fresh cuts, I lost it. Only when I was in the ambulance with her and Jason, speeding towards Shreveport, did I realize how close we came to losing her. Sam had moved on past the whole rape portion and was torturing, mutilating her. He was going to kill her. That's what he had been working up to, which meant he had found out she wasn't a virgin. It was the only thing I could think of that would push him over the edge.

I clenched my jaw as I thought about it. How had he found out? Did he do something, violate her to find out? Or did Sookie tell him? I didn't even want to think about what would have happened if we hadn't found them when they did. Hell, Lattesta might chew me out over not waiting for the SWAT team, but if I had waited on them, Sookie could be dead or injured worse. That is one ass reaming I'd take with a smile.

Adele and Jason came in and took up spots on the opposite side of the bed. Adele took Sookie's other hand, being careful not to tug on the IV that was inserted in [the top of] it. We sat in silence as we watched Sookie. I should have said something to the two Stackhouses. But really, what could I say? 'Sorry for sleeping with Sookie and being responsible for her being sliced up like a chicken'? Yeah that was stupid. So I just stayed quiet and stared at Sookie, willing her to open her eyes.

Her hand twitched under mine. From Adele's quiet gasp, she had felt it too. The eye movement behind Sookie's closed lids came faster and she jerked once. Her face twisted into a pained mask and she began to thrash. Her mouth opened and closed, her lips forming words but no sound came out. Then she screamed and began to jerk her arms. Jason yelled for a nurse as he helped me hold her down. She fought against us like an animal.

I felt fear and panic. She was having some kind of nightmare and it was bad enough that she was reacting physically. It could only be a nightmare about her time with Sam. A nurse and a doctor came running in. The short doctor snapped out an order and shoved Jason aside. The nurse handed her a syringe and needle and the doctor deftly added the new medicine to the IV. Minutes, long minutes, passed and Sookie thrashed around. The high keening sliced me off at my knees.

Slowly she quieted down and was still on the bed. The only indication that she was alive was the slow rise and fall of her chest and the steady beat of the machine that monitored her heartbeat. I sagged down in my chair as Jason asked what we were all wondering, "What the hell was that?"

"Flashback, I would assume, to whatever was done with her. She needs to be quiet and still to allow her body to heal. If she's reacting like that then it would be best to keep her sedated for at least twenty four hours," the doctor replied waspishly. She made some notations on the chart. "We'll put her on some fluids so she doesn't dehydrate and get a catheter put in."

She left after giving the nurse instructions. I wiped a hand over my face and rubbed my tired eyes. Adele noticed and looked at me. "Alcide, you should go get some rest."

"Yeah," I agreed. I needed out. I had to get away. This was killing me. I couldn't look at Sookie when she was like this. Not without wanting to rip out my own heart for being part of the reason she was in here. If only we had gotten to her faster. If only we hadn't shitted around. Fuck, I was going to make myself crazy. I told Jason to call if there were any changes and I got out of there.

Once I was in the parking lot, I turned on my phone. It blew up with voice mails and text messages from Pam and Lattesta. Lattesta wanted to see me ASAP. Fuck that. I needed a few hours of sleep. I was strung so tight that you could play me like a fucking fiddle. I drove home and when I got there, I just passed the fuck out in my bed, the scent of Sookie's shampoo in my nose.

When I woke several hours later, it was to a pounding on my door. Bleary eyed, I stumbled to the front door and checked the Judas hole. It was Jason. I opened the door so he could come in. He was carrying two steaming cups of coffee from Starbucks with him. I knew there was a reason I liked the bastard.

"Lattesta called and told me to come wake your ass up," Jason said apologetically as he handed me a cup of coffee.

I sniffed it and let the aroma of the java wake me up. "Did he now?"

"Apparently he tried calling you several times and you never answered or called back."

I smirked. "Imagine that."

"Yeah well he wants us down at the office. Sam needs interrogating."

"You mean he's going to let me do that after what I did to the fucktard?"

"I suppose so. He just said something about finishing our jobs," Jason replied after sipping his coffee.

I popped the lid off mine and took a big sip and got my tongue scalded for my efforts. Hissing in pain, I glanced up at Jason and asked, "So, how did you know I slept with Sookie?"

Jason looked surprised and shrugged. "What am I, stupid?"

"Was that a rhetorical question?" I asked and took a careful sip of the coffee.

"Har har, dick," Jason said with a sneer. "I just knew. I mean, I figured it would happen eventually. And when Sookie came back to the hospital after staying with you that first night I was shot, well, let's just say she was very happy and moving around kinda stiffly."

"Well hell."

"I just put two and two together," Jason said. Then he looked away from me and shifted uneasily on his feet before he looked back at me. "Look, Alcide, about what I said...about you and Sookie..."

"Forget it. It's nothing. Already forgot it."

"Do you really love her?"

"Pretty sure I do," I answered honestly. "I mean, I've never been in love before, but I figure this is what it must feel like."

"Good. She needs someone like you, someone steady. Especially now."

"Yeah," I said and left it at that. Way to set me up, buddy. Sookie needed me. Trouble was, I wasn't sure I could be that steady person she needed. Every time I looked at her, I suffered because I hadn't been quick enough or smart enough to find her sooner. I looked at her and felt the heavy weight of guilt. How could I be any good to her when I had my own issues to deal with?

Jason clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Go get showered and dressed. We'll go to the office and get that shit taken care of so we can get back to the hospital."

I took the quickest shower in history and got dressed in one of my suits. Jason, who had left a suit at my place, had already gotten changed. We left, each taking our separate vehicles to the office. I used the time that the drive took to push all my emotions away. I wasn't going in there as Alcide, Sookie's boyfriend, but as Special Agent Herveaux. I couldn't let my personal feelings get in the way. I had to push them aside. Yeah, right. If that was possible, the hell froze over and they were holding the Olympics.

Agents were congratulating us left and right for capturing the Virgin Killer as we walked through the building. It left a sour taste in my mouth. Yeah, this was a career making case and we'd probably get a lot of hype out of it. But if just felt like we were cashing in on Sookie's pain. I could tell from the pained look on Jason's face as everyone told us good job that he felt the same way. We couldn't escape down to the interrogation rooms fast enough.

We stared through the one way glass. Sam was wearing the jail special, an orange jumpsuit, and he was cuffed at the wrists and ankles with chains connecting them and wrapping around his waist. He was chained to the table, which was bolted to the floor. He looked like shit. His face was a raw mess and he hunched over, favoring his left side.

I looked at Lattesta who was glaring at Jason and myself. "You two realize that you completely ignored protocol and entered a situation that could have turned fatal, without back up?"

I exchanged a look with Jason and said, "We did what we felt necessary when we heard the sounds of the hostage in distress. I feel that we acted accordingly, given the situation we walked in."

Jason, however, wasn't so diplomatic in his response. "What, you expected us to go outside and wait like good little boys while the fucker carved up my sister?"

Lattesta jabbed a finger at Jason. "That is exactly why you shouldn't have been on the case once Miss Stackhouse was taken. You were too close and thought with your emotions instead of your head."

"We saved her and we caught Sam Merlotte," Jason argued.

"You put yourselves, another agent, and the victim at risk," Lattesta shot back.

"We did our jobs. We did what we were trained to do," challenged Pam, who had been standing behind Lattesta. Lattesta turned to stare at her as she continued, "If you feel that we did something wrong, then write us up."

Lattesta scrambled to say something. We all knew that he wouldn't write us up. Not after we brought in Sam Merlotte alive. Which had been a close call. If Jason hadn't hauled me off him when he did, Sam would not be sitting in that chair right now. He'd be down in the morgue. Funny, I didn't feel bad about it at all.

Lattesta jabbed a finger at the glass and Sam behind it. "And Herveaux, what the fuck is that? You realize that he could file charges against you?"

"He was resisting arrest," I said tightly, "I used what force I thought necessary when he came after me."

Lattesta's eyes bored into mine. "He is saying that you took him down and went after him."

I raised a brow. "He attacked me, I fended him off. We went down, yes, but he was still resisting so I used force to rend him incapable of fighting back so he could be taken into custody."

"That is exactly what happened, sir," Jason added. I knew that he wouldn't say anything about how I could have, you know, not broken Sam's nose, but Jason, like me, felt that Sam deserved it. A quick look at Pam showed that she wasn't going to object to our story.

"The fact of the matter, sir," I said slowly, "We came into the room to him assaulting Miss Stackhouse and we took immediate action. Mr. Merlotte took personal offense to my presence and came after me and physically assaulting me. I took him down and Stackhouse cuffed him and read him his rights. That's how it went down."

"And you didn't use unnecessary force, considering it was your girlfriend he was assaulting?" Lattesta asked with a knowing look.

I met his eyes without giving nothing away. "Are you questioning my ability to perform my job?"

Lattesta sighed and shook his head. "No, guess I'm not. But you better hope that this doesn't come back to bite us in the ass."

"Three against one," Pam said almost smugly. "So, we going to talk to this piece of shit or what?"

"You and Herveaux are," Lattesta answered, "Stackhouse and I will observe."

"What the fuck? I want in there. I worked this case a lot longer than Pam has, no offense, and I earned the right to be questioning him."

"They'll get more out of him. He hates women and he hates Herveaux. He'll tell them everything. Yes you earned the right to question him, but sending you and Herveaux in there won't get dick out of him."

Jason glared at Lattesta and gave me a 'See, told you he hated my fucking guts' look. I rolled my eyes out of pure exasperation. Lattesta, as much as I hated to admit it, was right. We may have caught Sam with Sookie, but we needed him to confess to killing the other four women. And if my suspicions were right, the murder of John Quinn and Maudette Pickens. Jason needed to suck it up.

We exchanged several looks, having a silent conversation. When you worked with someone for four years as closely as we have, you learn to have those conversations without saying a word. In the end Jason backed down and settled in to observe Pam and I question Sam Merlotte.

I felt my gut clench in anger when we walked into the room. I was careful not to let any of that rage show on my face, not just because I felt that it would give Sam some kind of satisfaction, but from the cameras I knew were recording us. Don't let it get personal. Put it all aside. It was like shedding a second skin as I stared at Sam. I knew Lattesta would pull me if he felt I couldn't handle it. I had to handle it. I blew out a breath slowly and settled into one of the two chairs position across the table from Sam.

He looked even worse in person. His left eye was black and swollen. His nose was bruised and bandaged. His cheeks were raw looking and his bottom lip was swollen and split. Breathing looked to be difficult for him. He held himself stiffly and glared at me and Pam.

I smirked at him. "Not looking so well, are ya Sammy boy?"

"Go to hell," he hissed. "I'm not speaking to you."

"That's okay," Pam said grimly, "We don't want to talk, right now. How about a picture show?"

She tossed a folder on a table and glossy pictures slid out. One by one she lined up pictures of the four women that Sam had killed. They were morgue photos and gruesome. Sam's eyes flicked down to them and I swear I saw his eyes go bright and eager. A man recognizes his own work. As he stared down at the pictures of mutilated women, he shifted in his seat.

"Excited?" Pam asked with disgust. "Were you excited when you tied them up, raped them, tortured them, killed them? Did it get you off?"

"Does it get you off to look at them now?" I asked.

Sam never looked away from the photos and his voice took on a dreamy like quality. "It's best when they screamed. It made it better. That one," he nodded his head to the second to last picture, "screamed for her mother. Over and over, pleading for mommy to come save her."

There comes a point where nothing fazes you anymore. I reached that point a couple years ago. In my career as an federal agent, I worked tracking serial killers and catching them. I've spent more than my fair share of time questioning killers and studying crime scenes. There really isn't anything that fazes me.

Which meant that I was able to listen to Sam croon over the dead bodies and speak of how they struggled and fought to get free without reacting. Sadly, Pam wasn't able to remain expressionless. The way her lips turned down into a disgusted frown reminded me that until the last year, she worked cyber crimes. Truthfully, I don't know why she transferred but that was her choice. Either she'd get stronger after this case or she'd end up transferring again. Somehow, watching the anger simmer in her eyes, I didn't think that Pam Northman would be transferring.

I cut Sam off and slapped down another picture. "John Quinn."

"He had to die," Sam said slowly. "He deserved to die."

"Why?" Pam asked as I jotted down the confirmation that Sam Merlotte murdered and dismembered John Quinn.

"He had Sookie. She belonged to me."

"He dated her for six months."

Sam shrugged. "I wasn't ready yet. But the moment he laid hands on her, he chose to die."

I leaned forward, eyes dark. "Did he help you with the other women? What part did he had to play in that?"

Sam laughed. "You think he helped me? Please, the man was a weakling. He couldn't stomach the sight of blood."

"His credit cards placed him at each town where your victims were found," Pam pointed out.

"Don't you know, anyone can use a credit card?" Sam asked with a sneer. "Quinn and I went to college together. We remained friends. He was useful to me. It was a simple matter to get his information and take out credit cards in his name. The same with identification. I'm the reason he came to Bon Temps."

I frowned and thought of something. I played it out in my head before I said, "Did you plan on taking and murdering Sookie and pinning the blame on Quinn?"

Sam gave me a cold look. "I didn't think that federal agents were supposed to be that smart. Yes. That was my plan. But Quinn messed up. He thought he could have Sookie. Then he cheated on her with that slut, Maudette." His tone was tinged with sorrow. "He touched her and played her and never realized what an angel he had. An angel...until she met you. Then you made her dirty like all the other bitches."

Pam arched a brow. "Dirty bitches? Gee, you think so highly of women."

"Maudette Pickens. You kill her too?" I asked, ignoring his words about Sookie. It was hard and I had to shove back the urge to lunge across the table to throttle him.

"She hit Sookie," was Sam's only response.

"Right," Pam said sarcastically. "You killed two people because they cheated on a woman and slapped her."

"Sookie deserved better. I did it for her."

"I'm sure she appreciated it," I sneered with heavy sarcasm.

"She would have, if you hadn't poisoned her against me," Sam screamed and lunged forward. The chains jerked him back.

I looked at Pam. "We got what we need. Full confession."

"I'll go let Lattesta know." She rose and left the room. I sat there, staring at Sam across the table as I waited. He gave me a twisted smile and began to rant about what he had done and what he would have and wouldn't have done to Sookie. My fists clenched under the table as I listened to him.

I glanced at the camera in the corner and saw the little red light go off. All the cameras were off now. Pam's doing. Hearing what Sam had done to those women, the pleasure he took from it, the casual way he admitted to murdering two innocent people had disgusted and enraged her as much as it had me. She was buying me some time. If she wasn't married, I'd kiss her.

I stood and circled the table. Sam watched me warily. "You can't do anything, I'll sue."

"I doubt it," I said almost cheerfully as I slammed my hip into the back of his chair. It tilted forward and Sam, off balance because of the chains, slammed into the table. He howled as it re-split his lip and his nose gushed blood.

"Gee, I'm sorry, I slipped. Here let me help you up." I grabbed Sam by the back of his shirt and lifted him up bodily. Then, what do you know, he slipped from my grip and fell back into the table. I shoved down so that his gut rammed into the edge. He gagged and lost his breath. I stepped back and frowned. "Oops, guess I'm a little clumsy."

I leaned down, planting one hand on either side of his face. He laid on the table, struggling to suck in air. I lowered my head so that I was inches from his face. His eyes glinted with anger and hatred. My voice was low and hard when I said, "You are going to be locked up for a long time, you piece of shit. You won't get parole. You won't ever be a free man again. Six people are dead because of you. A very good woman is in the hospital because of you. If I could get away with it, I'd just shoot you now and save everyone the legal fees. But since I can't, remember this." I shifted my body so I was towering over Sam, who was now crying slow tears as I laid out his fate. "If, by some freak chance, you ever do get out, you stay away from Sookie Stackhouse. Far, very far away. Because you fucker, I won't hesitate to kill you if you ever so much as think of her. You understand me?"

He didn't move and I raised my hand and slammed it back down. The echo of flesh hitting table was loud, even louder for Sam since it was right by his ear. "Do. You. Understand. Me?"

He whimpered and nodded his head slowly. Then the door opened and two guards walked through for Sam. I stepped back and tucked my hands in my pocket as I watched them haul him away. One of them looked at me when they saw the fresh blood on him. I just gave them a steady stare and shrugged. "He slipped."

One of them, someone I recongized from my time here, smiled grimly at me. "Right, gotcha sir. We'll get medical to check him out. Have a nice day."

"You too," I called as they frog marched Sam out.

I stared at the door Sam and the guards disappeared through for a long time. Eventually I'd have to walk through it myself. Walk through it and return to the real world. Return to Sookie.

Oh, I didn't have to go to Sookie. I could turn tail and run. Go to my apartment and pack up everything and go back to Virginia. Technically we were done here. We got what we needed. We had Sam in custody and his confession and the evidence. Our case was over. Sam Merlotte would be transferred under heavy guard to a federal prison to away his trial. Louisiana held nothing for me. Nothing except Sookie Stackhouse.

I never gave much thought to what would happen in our personal lives after we caught the killer. Well, I had, but that was all before Sookie. Before Sookie I would be packing my bags and booking my flight to my nice condo in Virginia. Before Sookie I would be hauling my ass away from Louisiana as fast as I could. I may have been born and raised here, but thanks to my overbearing and controlling father, I didn't like it much. Of course, this was all before Sookie.

Now I didn't have any good reasons to hate Louisiana besides my father. I had no real reason to leave. Well, it was more like I had all the reason in the world to want to stay. I was enjoying the quiet country life. There was no way I could maintain a relationship with Sookie all the way in Virginia. Nor could I ask her to come with me.

Now I was finding myself contemplating a transfer. They needed good agents in the Shreveport office. I figured Jason, from the way he had been talking before the shooting and Sam fiasco would transfer here. He was always bothered by his lack of connection with his family and now he had the chance to fix it. I had was almost positive that Jason would remain in Bon Temps for an extended amount of time after the scare with himself and Sookie. Times like this and you just had to be close to your family.

I had been debating for the last few days on what I would do. I could take time off, I was due for a vacation. But ever since I saw Sookie and how she had look after we got her back, I had been second guessing myself. I wasn't sure if I should stick around. My job was dangerous and I traveled a lot. Hell, Sookie had gotten hurt the way she had because of her involvement with me. Based what Sam had said during one of his rants, it wouldn't have been half as bad as it was if she hadn't slept with me. Was I really taking the words of a serial killer, a twisted one, for truth?

Sookie might have been relieved to see me but that would be the case for anyone who was trapped in the kind of situation she was in. If I was being threatened and sliced up, I'd be relieved to see my worst enemy rescuing me. Once she woke up, she might change her mind. She might not want to have anything to do with me now. Just the thought of it made my heart ache.

Shit. I had told Sookie that I loved her. So fucking stupid. You don't do shit like that. Even if you did love someone, you don't tell them that you love them for the first time like that. You don't just blurt it out after you saved them. Not if you wanted to be taken seriously. Declarations of love like that are almost always passed over as a 'heat of the moment' type thing. I was going to look like a fucking idiot when she ended things.

I did love her. I might be unsure of everything else, but the one thing I had no doubts about was loving Sookie. I had come to Louisiana to catch a killer and I ended up falling in love for the first time in my life. Funny how those things happen.

It hadn't started out as love. When I first met Sookie, she had been the kid sister of my partner. There had been a healthy dose of lust. Sookie was beautiful and charming, any man who didn't lust after her had to be dead and buried six feet under. I would have been able to control myself. I had a great deal of self control. Only that innocent request for a kiss in her kitchen had shattered that self control completely. After that, resisting Sookie and keeping my hands off her had been an uphill battle. The only thing that held me back had been her admission of being a virgin.

It seemed like every time I had talked myself into pulling back, she'd do something that pulled me back in. Showing up drunk at my place. Steamy kisses. The date where she let me touch her. The sexy as fuck dancing at the bowling alley. The night she and I finally made love. Now not being with her, not touching her was killing me. And being with me could kill her.

There was a strength in Sookie I admired and respected. Admiration and respect that had gone up several notches since learning from Sam how she defied him and had no surrendered or given up. Sookie was so damn special and deserved more than me.

I couldn't keep her safe, couldn't protect her. This incident had proven that. How could I let her close when my job had the potential to put her in more danger? I went after sickos. All they had to do was learn about Sookie and how I loved her and she would be in danger. If anyone wanted to hurt me, all they had to do was go after Sookie. Could I really put her in that kind of danger?

I buried my hands in my head and groaned. Whatever happened to my easy life? Get up, go to work, track down killers, go home, eat, go to sleep. I thought things were supposed to get less complicated as you got older and settled into a routine. Bad enough that I had to have an intense and complicated job, did I have to have a complicated personal life? Survey says yes.

There was a knock at the door and Pam came in. She arched one brow as she stared at me. I looked up and narrowed my eyes. "What?"

"They picked up De Castro and are bringing him in. Lattesta wants you to handle the questioning," she replied. "I told him you'd love to since you spent the last ten minutes just sitting here instead of getting off your fucking ass and going to the woman you love."

"Great. Thanks, Pam. I'll remember that when I send out your Christmas present. Do you prefer arsenic-laced snowman cookies or fruitcake with glass?"

"Oh shut the hell up. If you were going to go, you would have gone. Since apparently you are being a pussy, you can do some work and at least pretend you are a man."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I snarled as I came to my feet.

Pam didn't back away. Instead she jabbed a finger in my chest hard enough I felt the bite of nail digging into skin. "What I mean is, what the fuck are you doing here when you should be at the hospital waiting for Sookie to wake up? I never thought you were a coward but that's exactly what you are."

"I am not a coward." I clenched my teeth hard and glared at her.

"Yes you are. You were sitting there wondering if you should end things with Sookie. You are thinking that she'd be safer if you weren't around."

How the fuck had she known that? My face must have echoed my thoughts because Pam crossed her arms under her chest. "I know exactly what you are thinking because Eric and I went through the same shit, only it was both of us worrying about the other. We still do, but we don't think that we'd be safer if we weren't together."

"Sookie might not want to be with me now."

"The hell she doesn't. All she could say while you were kicking the shit out of Sam was that she knew you'd come. That woman loves you, though I doubt her sanity, but that isn't the point. She loves you and will love you no matter what. If you think that pulling away is going to make it better, it won't. All you will do is damage her further. Hasn't she been through enough? Or do you not love her and everything you said was a lie to justify yourself to Jason Stackhouse for sleeping with his baby sister?"

"If you were a man," I growled, "I'd punch you right now."

Pam jutted out her chin. "Go ahead if it will make you feel better."

I scrubbed my hand over my face. "You didn't hear him, Sam, after you left. If I hadn't slept with her, he never would have sliced her up. That is on me."

"No!" Pam shouted, her blue eyes fiery with anger. "That is on him. Him and his sick twisted mind. What the hell, Alcide? I thought you knew better than to listen to the bile he'd spew. He said that to get to you. Don't be a fucking idiot. Go see Sookie. I'll take the damn interview."

I looked at her. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you are making a mistake and I like you," she said simply. "Work it out in your head, but don't hurt her. Don't even think about hurting her. She deserves better."

"That's what I'm trying to do, not hurt. Maybe leaving is the best way to do that."

"No that's being a fucking coward. When did you become an emo vampire wannabe?"

I stared at her, clueless. Pam just rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Never mind. Just go. Talk to her. Don't make any decisions until you talk to her. Really talk to her. Don't lock up and freeze her out like you men do all the damn time. We women aren't fragile and we can handle the truth."

Now she sounded like she was putting something Eric Northman had done on me. I ran my hands through my hair one last time. "Where's Jason?"

"He left during our talk with Sam. Apparently Mrs. Stackhouse called and Sookie is awake. So get the fuck out of here."

"Pam...thanks."

"Don't mention it." When I laughed she sneered. "No really, don't mention it. God forbid people think that I actually like you."

"Eric must have an endless amount of patience to deal with you," I muttered as I stepped past her.

"No, he just really likes the blowjobs I give him," Pam retorted and had me snorting.

One good thing about my Pam intervention, as I was calling it as I drove to the hospital, it did make me think a little better. Of course, all that calm I had gathered around me simply disappeared when I got to Sookie's hospital room and she was laying in the bed sleeping. The room was empty and a quick text to Jason revealed that he had taken Adele to the cafeteria for food. I sat down in the chair in the corner and watched her.

She looked so broken laying here. Her hair spilled around her on the white pillow. Her face had gotten more color back but it was still pale enough that the bruises were very vivid. The hospital gown and blanket covered the bandage covered slashes. I felt my gut clenched as I stared at her, stricken by what had happened to her.

The doctor came in and barely looked at me as she examined Sookie, waking her up in the process. I stayed quiet and watched. Then the doctor turned, leveled a look in my direction, and ordered that Sookie should remain calm. Then Sookie looked at me and I couldn't stop myself from getting up and going over to her.

Standing over here, seeing the bruises up close and personal slammed home the situation here. I had been reaching for her but I jerked my hand back. Her eyes glistened with tears as she stared up at me. I couldn't handle the tears. Were they happy to see me tears or oh god the pain is too much tears? Why did women have to cry so damn much?

When I looked at her, all I could see is her being hurt again by someone trying to get back at me. Next time she could die. Someone could just kill her because of what I do. I looked at her and I saw her not in a hospital bed, but in the morgue and I was identifying her. I did exactly what Pam told me not to do, I locked up. Couldn't help it.

The conversation that followed was not a good one. I kept blaming myself. Sookie was blaming herself. She actually thought I hated her. I couldn't express how much I did not hate her, that I loved her. I wanted to tell her. The words were on the tip of my tongue but I couldn't say it. I just couldn't. I hadn't realized until then that sweet and kind Sookie was capable of violence or wishing violence on someone. She was right, I should have shot him. She'd rest easier knowing that he was dead instead of in jail. Oh yeah, if I was willing to kill for her, I definitely loved her. But knowing that he was in jail was no comfort. She looked at me, the pain and fear in her eyes, and I went to her.

Any doubts or fears I had went away when I sat and held her. She cried and I stroked her back. I soothed her as much as I was able. I couldn't bear the tears. There would be more tears. She'd remember and dream of Sam for a long time. Nothing could prevent that. It wasn't going to go away over night.

How could I ever think about being away from her? Why would I want to be? How could she blame herself or think that I would hate her? We all made mistakes and her's was simply trusting the wrong person. I could never hate her for believing someone she thought was a friend.

When I tried to change the subject to something less painful for both of us, Sookie insisted on giving her statement. I had wanted to spare her that for as long as I could. It was going to be so hard and painful for her to relive what happened to her. She needed time but she refused to budge. It made me angry. Here I was trying to spare her a little pain and she was being stubborn. I snapped at her and regretted it instantly. Just thinking about what Sam did to her made me angry and I had no right to take it out on her.

I went to get Jason and called in Pam. Sookie needed a woman. Adele opted to wait in the hallway after Sookie said that she had no problem with her grandmother remaining. In Sookie's words, Adele had the right to know what happened to her. Adele was the smart one.

We listened to Sookie for two hours recite what she had gone through at the hands of Sam. Several times I was tempted to go to the jail and just shoot Sam anyway, the consequences be damned. Hearing about how he touched her, how he spoke of raping her, the way he went insane when he started slicing her up. Each word was another stab in the chest because I hadn't gotten to her in time.

How the hell she was able to sit there and tell us this with a straight face, I would never know. But she never cried and she never wavered. Her voice was as empty as one could expect when she detailed the way Sam had forced her to change clothes. Her eyes were blank when she went on to speak of how he chained her and violated her. He hadn't raped her, but he had molested her. Fuck.

Jason and Pam left without a word when Sookie finally stopped talking. Jason hugged her and hugged her hard before leaving. I saw tears in his eyes when he looked my way. Pam just touched her shoulder and gave me a 'don't be a stupid idiot' look before following Jason.

With Pam and Jason gone as a buffer, the silence stretched between us. Sookie was looking uncomfortable and kept biting her lower lip. I had no idea what to do or say. This had been so different that any other witness/victim statement I had taken before. This one had come from someone I loved. She didn't want to hear sorries and there was nothing I could say that would make it better. Only time could heal the kind of wounds Sookie had. A small voice in my head added, 'And support from those who love her.'

Before she had been comfortable with touching me or having me touch her, now when I tried to touch her, Sookie flinched away. Just a brush of my hand over her hair and she had pulled away from me. It was a hard knock but I pulled my hand back and tried to look like I didn't notice. It must had been talking about it that made her uncomfortable. I couldn't blame her, wouldn't blame her. Sookie would heal, it would just take time.

"Sookie..."

"I'm sorry," she whispered without looking at me.

"Don't. Don't apologize for that. It isn't your fault." I said as I pulled a chair over next to the bed.

"It isn't your fault either," she retorted.

"I never-"

"No you never, but I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. Don't say it isn't true. You blame yourself." Sookie finally raised her head to look at me. Her eyes burned into mine. "Look at me and tell me that you haven't spent the entire time I was gone blaming yourself. Tell me that you don't want to be here because you blame yourself."

One hand curled into a fist and it was me that broke the stare. "I do blame myself. I put you in danger. Just being with me could put you in danger again."

"Do you think I care about that? Every relationship has it's risks," Sookie replied.

"Not like this. I go after killers, Sookie. That's what I do. I've put a lot of bad men and women in jail, men and women who wouldn't hesitate to go after you if they got out just to get to me. Is that the kind of life you want?"

"Alcide," Sookie said, and her voice broke. "I want a life with you."

"I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you because of me," I whispered and looked away.

"I can't live without you," Sookie swallowed. "I thought I heard you tell me that you loved me. Is that true or was I just wanting it so much that I imagined it?"

I didn't answer and she went on. "I told Sam about us having sex. I knew he would kill me for it. I told him because I couldn't bear the thought of him touching me, of raping me. I'd rather die than have that happened. Maybe it makes me weak, but that's how I feel."

"It doesn't make you weak," I said quickly. "Don't ever think that."

"Even though I knew he'd kill me," she went on as if she didn't hear me, "I still told him. I held out for as long as I did because I hoped and prayed you'd come. I was able to hold on to that hope because I love you. I trusted you, and Jason, and I knew that you would find me. Maybe you think you didn't get to me fast enough, but in reality, you did. I was wiling to die and you saved me from that." Sookie reached for me then and took my hand even though I tried to pull away. "Maybe you don't love me, but I do love you. I want to be with you, no matter what risks you think there is. I went through hell and the only thing that kept me going was you. So make your choice Alcide, but don't say it is because of me that you choose to leave. I won't be your excuse. Do what you want because you want it, not because you think that you'll sacrifice me and your feelings for me because you think it will keep me safe. The world is a dangerous place and no matter what you do, you can't protect me from everything." Her eyes challenged mine. "So what is it going to be, protect me from the would-be killers that come after me and hurt me more than they could, or stay with me, and take a chance on happiness?"

I should have known that Sookie wouldn't let me walk away. She was strong enough to endure Sam Merlotte. She was kind enough to just forgive me for being late, which is exactly what she did. She didn't blame me. She loved me. She wasn't going to let me walk away without fighting.

I did love her. I did want to be with her. All my life I felt like something was missing. Now I knew what it had been. That empty spot that nothing seemed to fill, it had been Sookie. It had always been Sookie. I knew now why I never loved any of the women I dated before. I couldn't love anyone but Sookie. It was always Sookie.

"I did say it." When she looked at me, I explained, "I love you. When I was holding you, it's all I could think, all I could say. I've never loved anyone before, not like this. I was afraid of being too late. I was afraid of losing you. That's what I'm afraid of. That's why I need to go."

"So you'd give me up, give what we have up, just because you are afraid? That's such bullshit."

"Maybe it is, but it's how I feel. I can't help that."

"It's self-sacrificing and I don't buy into that. Either you love me enough to stay and try to make a relationship work, or you don't love me at all. Stop saying that you do while in the same breath saying because of that you have to leave." Sookie's eyes flashed dangerously as she sank back in the bed.

"Christ, Sookie. This is killing me. I don't know what to do. Hell, you might not even want to be with me. Once things settle down and once you get past the shock and have time to think about it, you might decide that you don't want to be with me. My job is dangerous, more than just having someone come after me because I put them in jail. I go after killers. I've been shot and stabbed. I could be shot and stabbed again. I could die on the job."

"And if you die," and her voice shook, "then you'd die knowing that I love you. But those are would bes and they don't count. Nothing in the future counts. What matters is here and now. It isn't fair to either of us to use what could happen to decide what we should do now."

She was right. I hated that. I hated myself for being like this. Pam had been right. I was being a coward. But, I just couldn't push my fears aside. I hurt almost as much as Sookie did. Though my pain wasn't physical it was there. I had died slowly the entire time she had been gone. It was a pain that I was carrying still. I couldn't just put it aside. It wasn't possible.

"I don't know what to do," I admitted. "I do love you, I just..."

"We need time. Both of us. So we can heal. To get to know one another," Sookie said slowly. "Things happened so fast between us and we haven't had much time together. We need that."

"I need to go back to Virginia," I said carefully. "The case is wrapped up and well, everything I have is there."

"I don't want you to leave yet," Sookie said quickly. "Please, Alcide, just stay. I," she stopped and swallowed. "I'm so afraid." She shook her head and brushed away tears that gathered in her eyes. "Every time I close my eyes I dream of Sam. I still hear him, feel him. Except when you are here. You push that all away. Please..."

I could stay awhile. Take some vacation time. Help Sookie. Get to know her like she said. Then, when my time was up, we could decide. Maybe something would change and I'd feel differently about everything. Maybe Sookie would feel differently. It was too soon to be making any kind of decisions.

I sat on the bed and the mattress sank under my weight. This time when I reached for Sookie, she didn't flinch away. Instead she let me pull her to my side. She laid her head on my shoulder. "Please stay..."

"I'll take some time off. Stay here for a couple of weeks," I said slowly. "Then we'll see what happens."

"We can make this work. I know we can. I love you and I don't want to lose you," Sookie turned her head so that her lips grazed my neck.

I held her tighter and pressed my lips to her hair. I could offer her no assurances or promises. All I could do right now was hold her. Time, we both needed more time. That I could give her. For right now, I could make us both happy just by holding her and being with her. Everything else could wait until tomorrow. Right now we just needed to hold each other.

Author's Notes: I know what you are thinking, OMG WHY END IT HERE? Well, it felt right. This chapter wrapped up loose ends, such as Sam and whatnot. It sets up the sequel and how they deal with what they each feel and how their relationship can grow. Remember, STK has always been about the killer, never really about the romance, that is a side story, which is going to become it's own story. I did not delve into Sookie and Alcide's relationship as much as I'd like, but I will. The sequel will come, I'm just not sure when I'll get to write it. Probably sometime in December.

I hope you all enjoyed my story. It's been so great writing it and I've met a lot of interesting people because of this story. I enjoy each and every review I've gotten and I'm so glad that so many have enjoyed something I've written. I hope you'll stick around and alert me so that you can enjoy the sequel and my other fics. Thank you all so much for making my first foray into the SVM fandom something wonderful! I promise to respond to each and every review and answer whatever questions you might have. Again, thank you all for reading STK.