Misunderstandings
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Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or anything else copyrighted, for that matter.
Author's Note: Hey, guys! I'll just say now that this will make you laugh, blush, or turn away in disgust. I went a little crazy with this one, but I hope you get some good laughs out of it.
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I know that you believe that you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
~Robert McCloskey
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Friday night found the members of the BAU at a DC bar, sans Hotch and Rossi, finally taking a little time to relax. They sat around one of the high, round tables towards the back, where it was quieter, playing a simple game. "Okay, my turn. I've never…" Emily tapped the edge of her glass in contemplation. "…dated a coworker."
Morgan, Garcia, JJ and Reid all glared at her and took drinks while she smiled smugly. As hard as the two couples tried not to make her feel like a fifth wheel, Emily always enjoyed giving them a little flak about having paired off. "I thought we agreed to leave personal attacks out of this?" Reid asked nervously.
The last gave of "I've Never" the team played had left Reid, a first-time player, stumble-down drunk as everyone else had said things to the effect of "I've never earned a PhD," and "I've never read an entire book in 10 minutes."
"Don't worry, there won't be a repeat of last time. I just couldn't resist this one, though." Emily assured him before frowning down at her empty glass. "And where's the server?"
Everyone looked around for their missing waitress and shrugged. "Screw it," Emily sighed. "I'll just go up to the bar."
As Emily stood up to leave, Morgan spoke. "Okay, I've got one; I've never enjoyed doing paperwork." He said.
Only Reid took a drink. "What?" He asked with a shrug. "Paperwork is easy."
JJ shook her head but favored Reid with a smile. "My turn. I've never…" JJ paused, unable to think of anything. However, when her wandering eyes came to rest on Morgan, she grinned. "I've never lusted after one Derek Morgan."
"Hey, now! What happened to 'no personal attacks'?" Garcia asked.
"So we each get one free pass." JJ said with a shrug.
Garcia's eyes narrowed as she took a drink. "So that's the way you wanna play, huh? Okay… I've never had sex with the good doctor Reid." She looked pointedly at JJ with a mischievous grin.
Reid promptly turned red as JJ laughed and raised her glass. "I'll gladly drink to that." She took a sip.
Morgan chuckled at the look on Reid's face, which was halfway between embarrassed and pleased, and Emily chose that moment to return. "Hey, I'll drink to that last one." She said, taking a sip of her new drink.
When she put her drink down on the table, she found four people gaping at her, but it was Reid who spoke. "Um… what?" He asked, his voice squeaking a little.
"What? You like it too." Emily shrugged, pointing at Reid.
Reid's mouth fell open and he turned redder than when Garcia had spoken. "I…" He choked out, looking from Emily to JJ.
"I mean, I know it can be a little tedious, but it's also… kind of relaxing." Emily continued.
Morgan looked as though he would rather be elsewhere at that moment and Garcia still looked shocked. Reid was red as a stoplight and JJ looked to be in a state of disbelief. Emily attempted to clarify her point further. "Also, I know once I get it done, things are so much easier around the office."
Garcia, Morgan and JJ were now staring at Reid who looked like he wanted nothing more than to disappear. "And you know, when I'm feeling a little lazy, you're really nice about doing some extra work." Emily said, also looking at Reid.
Finally, Reid seemed to regain his ability to speak. "I have no idea what you're talking about!" He shouted much louder than necessary, now so red he was probably in danger of passing out.
"Sure you do; sometimes you'll take some of the paperwork off of my hands because you're faster at it." Emily said, furrowing her brow. "Why are you all acting so weird?"
Everyone was silent for a second. "You're talking about paperwork!" Reid finally caught on, a look of relief coming over his face.
"Yeah… the last one I heard you guys say was 'I've never enjoyed doing paperwork'." Emily said. "Why? What did you think I was talking about?"
Morgan was the first to break down laughing and was followed shortly by Garcia and then JJ. Reid signaled frantically for the waitress to bring the check. "What? What?" Emily asked, getting a little irritated.
"Oh, Em, trust me; you'll like us better if we don't explain." Garcia said after she got her laughter under control.
JJ's giggles also subsided as Reid paid for the drinks the two of them had ordered. "Okay, I guess that's enough for us tonight. See you guys on Monday." She said, wiping her eyes and getting up to leave with Reid.
Reid didn't say a word, but Emily could hear JJ talking to them as the left. "I don't think you're tedious at all." The blonde said in a placating tone.
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Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious…
~Michael Stipe
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Author's Note: Did it make you laugh? Just a little? Not at all? I've never had a good handle on this type of humor, so I thought I would try and improve. Also, I don't usually pair off Morgan and Garcia, but it just seemed to fit this one. I hope at least some of you got a little giggle out it!