Hi so this is my first story ever and im pretty young not that thats and excuse but please go easy on me but im definately onpen for constructive critisism.

It's been 3 months, 17 days and roughly 3 hours since he lefft and still this pain in my stompache won't leave. The pain of ripping and pulling and the pain something missing from inside of me. When he left, he took everything WITH him and everything FROM me. He said he didn't want to take my soul away but by leaving he did exactly that. He was my life, i distanced myself from my other friends for him, Jake, Angela, Mike, Jessica, Eric. And now there's no one left for me. Only Charlie and it is killing me to know that he has to put up with my misery and screaming from waking up from nightmares, and my lack of eating. It kills me to know how badly this is affecting him. He's the only one that keeps me from giving up. Mum's happy with Phil but that's only because i haven't tols her the hole truth of my current state. I can't have her worry aswell. I TRY to eat and i TRY to sleep but everytime i shut my eyes he's there, with his back to me and wlaking away and yet nno matter how fast i run, i can never catch him, hes too fast.

Charlie says i should go to see Jake and i really want to but there's two reasons i can't bare to go over there. 1) he'll just try to hit on me like he always used to and 2) i just can't relate to him any more. I used to be good friends with him, granted not as close as my old school friends but still he was a nice guy. But still there was no one i could relate to. Not truly relate to. Who else is there left?

It's just me

He told me he ad found his "ture soul" mate while running into her during hunting. It turns out the Denali coven had a new addition, "jade" i think her name was. Apparently he dosen't have to be careful with her because she's already a vampire and therefore blood lust isn't a problem for him. Well there;s a simple sollution for that problem.n change me into one of you and then you wont have to dea with any of that any more will you?

I knew the real reason he didn't want to change me. It's because i was just a toy to him. A pet. He was only interested in me because he couldnt read my mind and bescause i was his singer. I was a drug to him as he so delicately put it. I bet he just get me hanging on because i was "interesting". The worst part is he not only kept me around but i also got to know his family well and then just tore all links between us from me. Ironic isn't it. On my bithday he told me "you can't trust vampires" just kidding around but i never thought that that would acctuately be true. You can't trust them. I can't trust anyone. Not any more.

6:30 better start getting ready for school "we musen't be late noe must we?" i mentaly rolled my eyes as i got out of bed and began my daily routine as i remained consumed in my thoughts.

How i wish Alice could see me now. I was in baggy jeans ,which a couple of months ago fit me, and a large jumper far to big for me to cover my collar bone which was becoming more defined each day. Truth is I really don't care anymore. My goal was just to get through each day without breaking down. I got into my truck as it roared to life and began my long, boring journey to school. Once i saw the school approaching i prepared myself for another day of hell, or as some called it high school. I would have Jessica on my back all day harrasing me on my absence over the last three days. It turns out that beacuse of my lack of eating my body is lacking nutrients which, as a result, causes me to faint. Oh great Mike fiicking Newton's here as wel. Its going to be a long day.