Shampoo147: I know, i know, but this was irresistable, the bunnies won't leave me alone!

Ayame: You soud like Fez.

Garfield: Whatever, just feed me.

Shampoo147: We do not own Kuro-no, uhm, Kerero-no! Crap, what is this? Oh, Zombieland! We do not own Zombieland or any characters in the movie, no matter how much we want to.

Ayame: This just came to mind, a story dedication to the first person to correctly guess what the movie is!

Cheeze: Here I am! (walks out of the room)

Ayame: That was our good friend, TaintedDust!

Shampoo147: Good friend my ass, she's our only friend.

Drecrum, Anyone?

Tallahassee quickly (but efficiently, of course) rechecked his bullet count as they got ready to go. No one was speaking to him, which he was glad for. Just yesterday they had to say good-bye to his beloved Caddi. The engine had overheated (he leaves that bitch to drive and catches one fucking hour of sleep . . . and she overheats the engine). Had they been near a garage, Tallahassee could've fixed it himself . . . but they weren't and he barely got to tell her good-bye (they were being attacked by a large horde of zombie shit). Sure, the van they found to replace her was cool (Spit-fuck and Little Rock had gotten excited about the DVD player for the backseat passengers), but it wasn't his Caddi.

Anyway, they'd been hiding out in an entertainment store (FYE) until they could recover themselves. Hence, the zombie fuckers had wandered away, they had reloaded and slept, and spit-fuck and Little Rock had entertained themselves looking through the DVD and CD selections, pulling out the ones they wanted. One good thing about spit-fuck's proclaimed Zombieland was that they didn't have to pay for shit anymore.

"Hey, Tallahassee, watch this with me?" spit-fuck suddenly asked him.

Tallahassee barely glanced at the DVD Columbus was holding in front of him before saying, "Later."

Ohio may have been a reclusive shut-in, but he did recognize the dismissal. Unable to stop himself, he crossed his arms and pouted in the corner.

'Don't look at him, don't look at him.' Tallahassee thought determinably, knowing that he'd give in the second he looked at spit-fuck. "Look, I can't sit in back; we can't let her wreck another vehicle." At this, Wichita turned and glared at him.

Ohio, seeing that pouting wouldn't do shit as long as Tallahassee didn't look at him, stuck his hoodie string in his mouth and sulked in the corner. Little Rock, knowing how it was to be brushed off like that, took pity on her brother-surrogate, "Don't worry, Calli. I'll watch it with you!"

Ohio stopped sulking and smiled at her before frowning, "But it's rated R . . . "

" . . . "

" . . . "

"You're fucking with us, right Spit-fuck?"

Tallahassee glanced into the rearview mirror and snorted at what he saw. Curious, Wichita turned to look in back of her and gained an out of character cutesy face as she watched the two youngest of the group watch the DVD.

'Three, two, one . . .' Tallahassee counted down.

"Awww . . . "

'There it is.' But even Tallahassee had to admit that it was almost cute, if you thought that a bitch like spit-fuck and a kid like Little Rock cuddling into each other wearing over-large headphones and staring glazy-eyed into a small screen on the roof was cute. . .

"What's that mean, what's that mean?" Both Tallahassee and Wichita jumped at Little Rock's sudden exclamation and both turned back to look. Little Rock was jerking on Ohio's arm and was pointing at the screen, while pointing at it, too. Ohio tore his eyes away from the screen long enough to whisper something into her ear and she nodded.

Wichita and Tallahassee glanced at each other and shrugged.

It was a relatively quiet ride, which made Tallahassee nervous.

Wichita was preparing the canned food while Tallahassee was making sure they were well armed. Both Columbus and Little Rock had fallen asleep two hours after the movie (two hours of them whispering back and forth) and neither the protectors had the heart to wake them up (although Tallahassee had to carry them inside).

As Wichita poured out the Ravioli, Little Rock suddenly threw open the door crying, "Hello my little droogies!" with Columbus trailing after her.

Wichita looked at her while Tallahassee dug in. After a moment, she decided not to ask.

"'Appy Pollyloggies." Little Rock said after bumping into Tallahassee on another Twinkie raid. There had been more fucking zombies than there should've been, so all four of them were together.

"What?" Tallahassee looked at her before turning to spit-fuck when it became clear that she wasn't going to answer. He shrugged; Tallahassee gave him the look, but Columbus was very determined not to look at him and use Wichita as a human shield against Florida's penetrating gaze.

"Now, no one needs a clean tash-took, so let's get with the like, ultra-violence against the soddin' bratchneys!" Little Rock cried as several more zombies ran down the aisle. Tallahassee quickly took care of them before looking at Little Rock.

"What did you say?" that was Wichita.

Little Rock and Columbus just gave them pouting "I'm innocent" looks, making both Tallahassee and Wichita twitch and back off.

'I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain!"

Tallahassee was twitching, trying to control his urge to solve this with violence. For the past week, Little Rock had been singing the same damn song over and over. Wichita had been happy, at first, but now even she was twitching.

To make matters worse, neither Tallahassee nor Wichita understood what the hell she was saying anymore. She would be saying things like, "Any moloko-plus?" and "A malanky bit, like, nadmenny, eh?" and it was driving both Wichita and Tallahassee crazy. Mainly Wichita, as Ohio had become Tallahassee's major pain in the ass.

The boy was a bitch, and thus, annoying, but he was really pushing his limits now. Every time Tallahassee ordered him to explain what was going on with Little Rock (as it was obvious that he knew), the boy would play innocent or blatantly run away (the latter having become more frequent lately). Tallahassee was well used to getting his way with the spineless spit-fuck, but now he was thinking of resorting to violence to get what he wanted . . . if the little bitch stopped being so damn helpless!

"Hoenstly, ever since we let them have a little quality time together, they became fucking inseperable!" Wichita vented. Tallahassee grunted, oh how low they had fallen to start confiding in each other.

'Why, spit-fuck, when you know that I hate her.'

Suddenly, in a flash of electricity, Tallahassee had the answer. He turned to Wichita sharply and said, "Wichita, I think I know how it started and how to end it." She was skeptical, but desperate to end this.

So was Tallahassee.

They stopped in a small house and promptly killed the undead fuckers before settling in. Tallahassee was overjoyed to find a working big screen and a working DVD player, it made his plan (and Wichita's, but he didn't like her so she didn't matter) perfect.

"Hey, Columbus, Little Rock, let's watch a movie." Wichita announced as she sat on the couch, before being pushed off by Tallahassee; who then finalized his claim by throwing his feet on the armrests. They saw both Columbus and Little Rock glance at each other and this confirmed their suspicions.

"Which of ye, Chellovet or devtchka, picks what we like, viddy?" Little Rock said.

Tallahassee prepared himself (he wanted to watch Silent Hill) and said, "Hey, spit-fuck, wasn't there a movie you wanted to watch with me?"

Columbus bolted upstairs and came down just as quickly, holding the DVD that he had bothered Tallahassee with a week before; making Tallahassee and Wichita have to face the grim truth of the past week.

Little Rock threw up her hands in happiness, "Confirmed, the malanky malchick is the oomny one while the bolshy chellovet is the gloopy one!"

Ohio put the DVD in and pressed play. So all four sat down (with the two younger ones settling in next to their respective protectors) and they watched an odd opening of red.

"There was me, that is Alex, and my four droogs. That is Pete, Georgie, and Dim . . ."

They'd been played.

Little Rock/Columbus – 1

Wichita/Tallahassee - 0