This was written out of boredom. Inspired by my sisters asking for a bubble bath. I don't own any thing! Enjoy!
BATH TIME
There was a certain time of day when it was mandatory for every member of the Akatsuki (the evil organization bent on capturing all of the tailed beast and total world domination) to go about their ways with their personal hygiene. A.K.A, bath time. But one day, a certain foul mouthed S-ranked missing-nin (who just came back from a mission and was extremely dirty) decided, "You know what? I'm not going to take a f#*ing bath to day!", now this made a certain blued haired female member very displeased.
Konan, the only female member of the organization, feared that if it weren't for her by now every one would have fleas. You see, Konan was the one who enforced the "bath time" rule. She couldn't stand it when all of the members were together, but all smelled extremely bad. So, I dare you to guess how Konan was felling when she saw a dirty, smelly Hidan walking around.
"Hidan! You smell terrible! You just came back from your mission, so you might not know, but it's "that time" of night," Konan told Hidan-keeping her distance- as she spotted/smelled him coming down the hall.
"I know perfectly well what time it is b3#$," said Hidan with a sneer, "I just 'aint goin' to do it today. I'm tired."
At this, Konan was pissed at the fact that Hidan was deifying her. She forgot the fact that he smelled and walk strait up to him. Standing so close she was practically standing on his feet, she put her hands on her hips, and looked up at him and said, " oh really?"
"Yeah really," he answered looking down at her.
At this point all the other members had formed a circle around the pair in the dimly lit hallway, expecting to see a fight. Pein A.K.A Leader-Sama, who was standing behind Konan, met Kakuzu eyes and gave a little nod. They new they needed to stop things before they went too far. They, both, were about to grab their partners and go, when Konan grabbed a fist full of Hidan's cloak, and pulled him down so her mouth was right by his ear. She whispered some thing un-decipherable, even with all the members straining to hear them.
Konan let go of his cloak and Hidan straitened up, looked at her strait faced, except for an odd look that flashed across his eyes. He gave Konan a little nod and walked away. Konan huffed and straitened up brushing off her cloak, a smug look on her face. Then she noticed the other members staring at her. Pein was looking at her, open mouthed, eye-brows arced, a slight blush staining his checks.
"What," Konan asked, looking at her comrades. "W-w-what did you just say to Hidan," Pein stuttered. She donned a perplexed looked, and then realization lit up in her eyes.
"You think I said something perverted to him, don't you," she asked, looking around, "you sick minded freaks." Now every one was blushing.
"Well then what did you say to him, hm," asked Deidara.
"I just needed to offer him something he couldn't resist to get him to take a bath," said Konan with a shrug.
"And what would be this "something" be," Itachi asked, raising an eye-brow.
"Well Weasel," she said and Itachi's raised eye-brow twitched (man, he hated when she called him that *Itachi means weasel*!), "I would tell you, but…. I swore an oath of secrecy," she said with a scoff. And at that she pushed past the still blushing Pein, and headed back to her room(s) (I don't know how many she has! Sorry!).
Pein still staring after Konan was awakened from his daze by a loud shout.
"Pein! Did you hear what I just said," Kisame screamed in his ear.
"Hm? Oh, no I didn't," Pein answered.
"I say we find out what this "something" is," Kisame whispered.
"Oh no! Were not getting involved with this," Zetsu said.
"I agree, even though I hate him, I think even Hidan deserves his privacy," Kakuzu agreed, "and besides, I don't want to go agents Konan."
And with that Kakuzu and Zetsu took their leave, leaving Pein, Kisame, Deidara, Tobi, Itachi, and Sasori (yes, he's alive!) standing in the hallway to plot their plan to find out what this "something" was.
"I think we should use one of those little spy cam's, send it up the bath drain to find out what he's doing," Kisame suggested.
"No, no, that wouldn't work. First of all we don't have one. Second of all none of us would no how to use it," Pein stated, scratching his chin trying to figure out what to do. Now, you might be asking yourself, now why are Pein, Itachi, and Sasori of all people doing this? Well, Itachi was miffed at Konan for calling him weasel, so he was doing it out of spite. Pein did not like it when people (especially his partner) kept secrets from him, so that's why he was doing it. And Sasori, well, what can I say, he was bored.
"I have an idea," Deidara said, "We could just blow up the bath room!"
"Stupid brat. If we blow it up we'll never know," Sasori sneered.
"Sasori's right," Pein agreed and Deidara grumbled.
"Oh, oh! Leader-Sama! Tobi has a good idea," Tobi was practically jumping up and down, trying to get Pein attention. Everyone inwardly sighed.
"Go ahead, Tobi," Pein sighed, putting his hand to his forehead and closing his eyes, preparing for the worst.
"Well, first we need to get a digital camera, then we run to the bathroom, break down the door, jump in, and then take a picture of whatever it is!"
"Tobi that is the single most-," Pein was rubbing his temples when he abruptly stopped in mid-sentence, eyes popping open. Did Tobi just have a decent idea? No he couldn't have! Pein, like everyone else, just stared mystified at him.
"… what the hell….," Deidara stated lamely, staring at Tobi in a horrified awe.
"It's so stupidly simple it just might work," Itachi said wide eyed.
"KISS!" Tobi screamed!
"Pardon?" Sasori asked, eye-brows raised.
"Keep, it, simple, stupid!" Tobi explained happily
"O.K then… we'll go with Tobi's idea. I guess…" Pein said.
"Yay!" Tobi cheered.
And so, with their plan complete, they set out to find the right materials to set their plan into motion.
They met back up in the same hallway half an hour later. They had set off in pairs (with the exception of Deidara, Sasori, and Tobi in a group of 3 and Pein who did surprisingly nothing) to gather the need materials. Itachi and Kisame had gone to get Kisame's steal toed boots so he could knock down the door. While Deidara, Tobi, and Sasori went to get a digital camera to take the picture with.
"Do we have everything we need?" Pein asked his small group of men.
"Yes sir," they said in union, and Deidara held up the video camera while Kisame held his foot out for his comrades to see his shiny steel toed boots.
"Good. The lets move out people," and at that the small group started the trek through the ever winding hallways to Hidan's bathroom.
Once there, the group formed a semi-circle around the door. With Kisame standing in the center a few steps away from the door. He looked behind him at Pein, who gave the signaling nod, and he closed the small place between him and the door, and kicked it, dead center.
Boom! A ground shaking sound shook the bath room floor.
"What the f*$k," Hidan cursed, having to hold on to the sides of the bathtub to steady him self.
Then all went quiet. A few seconds latter though, there was a creaking sound and he looked up to see the bathroom door slowly falling inwardly, landing with a solid thunk on the tiled floor. Dust and wood chips were floating in the air clouding his vision. But he could see six figures silhouetted by the dim hallway light.
"Move in!" commanded Pein. They shuffled in, in a single file line. But hey were not prepared for what they were about to see. There, in all his glory, was Hidan, sitting in the bathtub filled with…prepare yourself 'cause this is epic….. Hidan was sitting in the filled with… bubble bath. Yes, bubble bath. Yes Hidan, the s-ranked foul mouthed criminal, was taking a bubble bath. Oh, but no, not just any normal bubble bath, the bubble's were a deep purple color, just like the color of his eyes.
He just sat there, and they just stood in the broken door way, staring at each other. Then they all burst out laughing (except Hidan, of course). They were laughing so hard that Deidara and Kisame fell to the floor busting their guts. Even Pein, Itachi, and Sasori were laughing.
"The hell you doin'!" Hidan was screaming at the top of his lungs, beginning to clime out of the bath tub.
"Oh, oh Tobi! Take the picture! Quick," Deidara choked out. And as fast as you can say monkey's uncle Tobi whipped out the camera, and took the picture. Then even faster, they hightailed it out of there. Hidan grabbed a towel, rapped it around his waist and started to chase them.
"Get back here you bast#4d's!" Hidan screamed chasseing them with his scythe.
"Run! Run!" they screamed.
Inside the base Zetsu, Kakuzu, and Konan were watching the whole thing. And they were recording it with a video camera.
"That's what you get when you go agents me!" Konan sneered.
"And for making me pay for a new door," Kakuzu added.
"Ha ha, this is fun," Zetsu laughed.
And that my, dear friends is only one of the story of the Akatsuki's bath time routines.
Well? Did you like it? Please review! Constructive criticism is welcome! But please, no flames!