Author: Queen Nightingale

Rating: M

Comment(s): This reminds me so much of my life it is frightening. Hope you enjoy.

"Fucking hell, Padfoot!"

Lily's hand jumped to her mouth, holding in a scream, as James suddenly lunged on Sirius.

"Get the" – punch – "Merlin's BALLS!" – eye stab – "FUCK OFF, PRONGS!"

"James, what the hell are you doing," Lily screamed, trying to pull him off Sirius, "You're overreacting! For fuck's sake!"

"I'm not overreacting!" James roared, pinning Sirius to the ground, "What the fuck happened!"

"Why do you even care, James?"

James froze mid-punch, Sirius holding his hands up to protect his face, turning to face a reddened Lily whose hands were in his cardigan, trying to yank him off of Sirius.

"What did you say?"

"Why do you care?" Lily replied hotly, her courage boiling up in blushing welts across her face, "I mean, you haven't even fucking talked to me for a goddamn month, why do you give a shit now?"

"I thought you didn't want to have this conversation!"

"I thought you weren't a complete prick!"

James exhaled heavily from his nostrils, his eyes wide and enraged, turning his head towards Sirius and pinning him down with his arms, the veins on his muscular arm tense and strained from the effort.

"You better fucking explain this, Sirius."

Sirius squeaked, his voice constricted by the pressure on his voice box.

"Well fine," he wheezed out, "But I don't know if Lily's going to be happy about it."

Lily stumbled out of her chair in the Gryffindor common room, too tipsy to see straight, with a wide I-don't-give-a-fuck grin plastered on her face.

"Oh come on Lilllzzz," Marlene slurred, her eyes heavy-lidded, "We're not done playing yet!"

"Yup. Yup."

"Noooo, we're not!" Marlene replied, frowning and shaking her mass of black curls from her spot sprawled out by the couch, "We're not done!"

Lily started giggling for no apparent reason, snorting and laughing into the palm of her hand as the party raged on around them.

"We can't let them see me like this!" she suddenly proclaimed, a bright light appearing behind her incredibly intoxicated eyes, "They'll never understand!"

"Whuddid you say there, Lils," Marlene drawled, her head lolling on the back of the couch.

"The Maur-AUDERS!" Lily suddenly screamed, a Gryffindor sixth year eyeing her up from behind his red cup of firewhiskey and orange juice.

"Hey girls, how you doin ..."

"SIRIUS BLACK!" Lily shrieked, nearly toppling off her feet and onto Marlene, a shocked Sirius grabbing her in time, "HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU?" She lunged at him and started hugging his waist fiercely, "You're my favourite have I ever mentioned that wow I LOVE YOU."

"I LOVE YOU TOO SIRIUS!" Marlene yelled into Sirius' ear, clambering up to paste her body to his, Sirius' face going red with the effort of holding two drunk girls up, "YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING TEASE, THOUGH, ALL THE GIRLS WANT YOU."

"Shhh, Marly. We can't fffucking tell him that, it'll go to his head," Lily stage-whispered into Marlene's ear, the other girl's eyes widening with understanding.

"You're right! SIRIUS!"

"Yes, Marlene?" Sirius replied, a smirk plastered on his devil-may-care face.

"You're not attractive in your head," she said, smiling at him, then stumbling away from the two of them towards the entrance to the Gryffindor Commons.

"MARLEEEEEENEEEEEE!" Lily wailed, holding onto Sirius and looking up at him plaintively, "Sirius you've got to help her she's not in her right state of mind! What if a hippogriff goes and eats her?"

Sirius laughed.

"Hippogriffs don't eat people, Lily."

"But they eat flowers! And I'm a motherfucking Lily, so there's something to worry about here!"

Sirius ignored her, holding her up and scanning the room. Suddenly he yanked Lily over to the beer pong table, where an incredibly intoxicated James Potter was losing his eleventh game, shoving her into his shoulder.

"James, mate, hold onto Lily while I go after Marlene. Fucking women and their alcohol tolerance."

James grinned widely at her, throwing his ping pong ball randomly across the table and hitting his opponent, Kieran Fletchley in the head, the other boy uttering a swear word and glaring at James.

"LILY FLOWER!"

"Potter, I hate you," Lily said, trying to glare in her intoxicated state at his face, and failing stupendously, "You're always so mean to me."

"You're a princessssss," James slurred, looking at her with wide eyes, clutching her stiff body to his chest and hugging her like she was a rag doll.

"Lemmeeego!"

"You're like a muggle princesssssssss. A real-life princessssss."

"I'M A LILY. IMMA FLOWER. A BIG, BADASS MERLIN BALL SUCKING FLOWER," Lily wailed into his chest, "I'm not a prinnn-prin-princess!"

"I'll drink to a flower," James said dreamily, promptly dropping Lily, who stumbled back from him into the wall, as he turned and gulped down another alcoholic drink.

"Yyyyour momma wouldn't like you so much if she knew you draaaank," Lily said, giggling to herself from her position clinging to the wall, eyeing up James as he attempted to suavely sit on the beer pong table.

"Your momma likes my ass."

"DOESNTTTTTAT ALL, DOESNT DOES NOT! TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK!"

"DOES TOO!"

"DOES NOT!"

Suddenly she was pressed in between his hands, James leaning his forehead on hers as he supported himself against the wall.

A sober part of her brain smelled firewhiskey on his breath, but she was pretty sure she had it on hers, so she didn't care. That was the fun with drinking, after all.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, practically hanging off of his frame, James breathing heavy onto her face, Lily giggling the whole time.

"I wannn you to kiss me," she said breathlessly, her wide eyes gazing up into his golden hazel.

"I wanna kiss you too, princessss," James slurred, "But you'll hate me for it in the mornnn."

"Da mornnn," Lily repeated, giggling.

"Da mornnn," James said, smiling at her laughter.

"Do you wanna kiss a princessss?"

"I've wanted to kiss a princess my whole life," James said, a touch of soberness creeping into his voice, "But I think I'm the villain and that's not how the story goes."

Lily's eyes widened.

"Woahhh, you're fucking deep. Like an icicle at the bottom of a swimminggg pool."

"I like icicles," James said, his slur back on and a sloppy grin on his face.

"Me too. I like sucking them."

James froze, looking down at Lily, who was smiling innocently up at him.

"Vhaaaat? I do!"

"I wanna kiss a princess," James pouted, shaking himself out of it and launching himself at her face, starting to kiss her cheek and then move down to her neck.

Lily kept laughing and giggling as he moved all the way down to her collarbone, sucking and nibbling in the way that only experience provides.

That's when Sirius found them in the centre of the party, Lily's hands in James' hair, James' lips on Lily's collarbone, right behind the beer pong table.

"... and then James passed out on the pong table after I moved him off of you," Sirius continued, sitting up and pointing exaggeratedly at Lily, whose mouth was agog, "And you refused to let your 'villain', I quote, go to his room by yourself, so I levitated both of your drunk asses to this room and let the 'princess' sleep on my bed, although I do recall James waking up and crawling in with you, but I separated the two of you again since I figured you'd be less than pleased waking up beside him with a hangover. Which surprisingly enough, neither of you two seem to have. So you didn't kiss me, he kissed you."

James snorted, Lily turning to glare at him.

"How do you know we said all that stuff before, then?" he asked, cocky as ever, extending a hand to help Sirius back on his feet.

"Fletchley heard it all. You two conveniently forgot that James was in the middle of a drinking game."

Lily dropped her head into her hands with an embarrassed groan.

"Fuck, what happened to Marlene?" she said from behind her hands, blushing furiously.

"Well, she attempted to abduct a house elf from the kitchens so that she could have a partner to 'stargaze' with, but that didn't seem to go over too well with them. I think she might want to avoid the kitchens for a while after this. Hell, that girl also did not want to go to sleep. She has a mad painful right hook."

Lily started laughing, looking up at Sirius with glee in her eyes.

"Abduct a house elf?"

"She's classy, that one," Sirius deadpanned.

An awkward pause was left in the room, as Lily stopped giggling and started fidgeting, both boys eyeing her up nervously.

"Well," Sirius said awkwardly, "I'd best be going. I've got to ... um ... go to the library."

James snorted again, "Really? Do you even know where that is?"

Sirius sneered back at him.

"Yes. Kind of. Who gives a shit. Anyways, I'm outta here, see you two later."

"Thanks for everything last night, Sirius, I'm sure Marlene really appreciates it. Also thanks for the bed."

"Anytime, Lily," Sirius replied, giving her a mock salute, then exiting quickly.

Lily and James stood in the bedroom awkwardly for a couple of seconds, both of them avoiding eye contact with the other.

"Well," James drawled, breaking the silence, "At least I have a new nickname for you, Princess."

Lily laughed, relieved that they were talking.

"I actually don't mind that one, Villain."

They both grinned at each other amicably, the night's events forging an unconscious bond between them.

"So, Princess ..."

"Yes, Villain?"

"I've heard that there's this crazy sort of muggle fairytale," James said, stepping up closer to her, Lily standing her ground firmly, "I think it's called Beauty and the Beast, actually."

Lily nodded her head contemplatively.

"I think I've heard of it."

"Well what with your literary knowledge, I was hoping that you would."

Lily grinned.

"Continue," she motioned, James leaning against the bedpost beside her.

"Well," he said thoughtfully, pretending to look up at the ceiling, "I heard that in the story, there's this really cocky guy, see, and he gets this spell cast on him by a witch."

"Ahh," Lily said, nodding, "Accurate."

"And he's a pretty bad guy, not nice or anything, so she turns him into a beast. For his outside to match his inside, see."

"Mhmm."

"And he's the villain of the story. And there's this marvellous princess, who reads a lot, and goes by the name of Belle."

"Right ... I see ..."

"Long story short, she's caught by him because of some roses in his garden, and she has to stay with him to save her father, and she's stuck in this large dingy old castle with this beast. But then she gets to know him." James eyes take on a twinkle, "And she finds out that he's not so bad."

"Fancy that!"

"So by the end of the story, the princess actually falls in love with the villain!"

"Wow," Lily's eyes opened with fake shock, "What a story!"

"So theoretically ..."

"Working in a theoretically universe, of course," Lily said seriously, nodding her head for him to continue.

"There's this guy at Hogwarts that I know, and I think he's a pretty bad guy."

Lily looked at James carefully.

"He's fucked up a lot of things in his life, he swears too much, he drinks too much, practically has all the vices in the book. But he knows this girl, see – and she's a real princess. Not a fairytale one – no, she drinks too much too, and she swears too much, and she has this real annoying tendency of arguing with me – him."

Lily arched an eyebrow at James, who smirked at her.

"I think you know her actually. She's a friend of yours. So I was wondering – theoretically, of course – if you could ask her on behalf of my guy friend, if she'd consider dating him."

Lily grinned at James.

"Well, I don't know, that takes a lot of consideration on the girl's part," she replied, her eyes widening.

James' brow dropped into a sad look.

"But I mean," she quickly corrected herself, "Speaking purely from an outsider's perspective, I'm pretty sure she'd love to go out with him to Hogsmeade this weekend for a couple of butter beers."

"I'd be so pleased to pass on that information," James beamed back at her, "So should he meet her at the gates at noon?"

"I'm pretty sure she won't be up by that time," Lily replied, blushing, "How about he meet her at one?"

"Done."

Lily grinned and nodded to him, "She'll see him there, then."

James grinned back at her, his eyes captivatingly swirling with gold.

She left the room, her feet carrying her out as quickly as possible, and made her way back to her room, where she collapsed on her bed, waking up Marlene, who groaned and sat up in her bed, her eyes puffy and her hair askew.

"What the fuck happened last night?" Marlene moaned, eyeing up Lily, who was sitting on her bed, smiling madly at Marlene, who just got more and more confused, "Why do I remember a house elf? And the Astronomy Tower? And Sirius?"

Lily just sat and grinned at her, her smile bubbling over with glee.

"And why the fuck do you look like a rainbow!"