Hey guys!

Okay, so I had the beginning and the end all in my mind back in 2011 when I started writing this. Unfortunately, I'm in that horrible stage where I need to transition into the currently non-existent middle part. Bear with me while I grind this out and it will smooth itself out, I promise.

Also, a little note for this chapter, since the #1 thing I hate more than anything in a story is the flow being interrupted with an A/N. Ugh, don't even get me started. Anyway, Aubrey was mainly a boy's name in the 60's. It seems strange, since it's such a pretty name, but true.

Just a warning: my boyfriend and I broke up a couple months ago so forgive me if I take out my sexual frustration on this story. You've been warned.

One more thing and then I'll shut up and write: if there are subplots or anything like that that you guys want me to elaborate on or even add, don't be shy. Private message me anytime, I check my inbox every few days.

Okay, here we go. I do not own The Outsiders.

AJ POV

The next few days were rough. Curly had gotten suspended, which saved me from having to lay eyes on the Shepard boys, but that wasn't the main thing on my mind.

Bills were due at the first of the month, which was only four days away. We had some money in savings and some life insurance left over, but I knew that scraping up the money put a lot of stress on Darry and Soda. Every few months I offered to work part-time to help as much as I could, but Darry wouldn't have it. He wasn't going to allow himself to put any financial pressure on another younger sibling. I admired his hard work but was afraid his pride was going to get us in trouble someday.

It was also the time in the school year that the cheer team started to meet and practice. Before Mom and Dad died I was on the cheer team. It wasn't my favorite activity but it paired well with all my dance classes. Around this time of year is when I really start to feel the absence of my mom. I knew that Darry had no choice but to pull me out of dance and cheer when we could no longer afford it, and I knew that it killed him every day. But being a girl in the middle of a transition into adulthood suddenly losing every ounce of female influence in her life was hard, and it really hadn't gotten any easier since the accident.

The boys all tried really hard to help me through my female issues, but none of them were ever any real help. Every couple months when I need feminine products, Darry would buy them for me like the good big brother he was. However, it was always treated as some big secret or a drug deal. He would wrap the box up in a paper bag and hand it to me in the kitchen while unpacking groceries without even making eye contact. It was awkward for him and I knew he was doing his best, but him acting that way always made me feel like a burden. I loved the guys like they were all my brothers but I always felt a little bit like I didn't belong.

After school I walked outside to find Dallas leaned up against his car talking to Steve and Two-Bit. He had a cigarette hanging unlit from his mouth and he was wearing that shirt he knew I loved; the blue one that clung to his muscles in just the right way. He saw me and smiled his mischievous smile. He was up to something. After closing the passenger seat door when I got in, he saluted the boys and climbed into the driver's side.

We sped down the street, like we usually did, but something was different. This wasn't the secretive Dallas that I had seen the past couple weeks; this was the carefree Dallas that I missed so much.

"Name it, Dollface," he said. "Anywhere in the world you wanna go, just name it." I looked over at him, smiling with his hair blowing in the wind. He looked young and innocent, like he didn't have a care in the world.

"Are your parents home?" I asked. Dallas looked over at me confused.

"No, they're out of state dealing with my cousin. Why?"

I smiled at him. "I wanna go to their house."

Dallas chuckled a little. "Why? In the mood to look at my baby pictures?"

I shrugged. "I wanna see your old bedroom." I looked over at him to see his eyebrows raise and him glancing over at me.

"Alright," he said after a second. "Whatever you want, Sugar."

We drove the rest of the way in an unsteady silence. Dallas kept opening his mouth to say something but changing his mind. By the time we pulled into his parents' driveway I could tell he was aching to say something. We got out of the car and walked toward the front door. After Dallas got the key out from under the 'welcome' mat, he unlocked the door and we walked in.

I'd only been in this house once or twice before, but his mom must have remodeled since the last time. The inside of the house was so beautiful. You would never guess that the infamous Dallas Winston was raised in such a beautiful house. You'd also never guess that the husband of the woman who decorated this house was a wife-beating asshole.

"So," Dallas said. "You wanna see my old room, eh?" I smiled and nodded and he took my hand. He led us down a hallway I've only ever been down once on my way to the bathroom. We entered the room at the end of the hall and he shut the door behind us. I looked around the room. The walls were covered in posters and old centerfolds I'm sure Dally must have ripped from his father's Playboy magazines years earlier. The bed had rocket ship sheets on it and clearly had not been slept in or even made in years.

I walked over to Dal and got on my tip toes to kiss him. But this wasn't a nice and sweet kiss; it was an aggressive kiss. He seemed surprised by my assertiveness, but I didn't care. I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer so I could keep kissing him. He joined in pretty quick, putting his hands on the back of my thighs to lift me up.

He walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge before laying back, taking me with him so I was on top straddling him. We kept kissing, passionate and aggressive with our hands all over each other. I kissed and sucked his neck before practically ripping his shirt off. I started to kiss down his chest before he gripped me and flipped us over, leaving me on bottom and him on top. He started to unbutton my blouse but was hesitant. I helped him out by starting to unbutton them myself. He took the hint pretty quickly and kept unbuttoning them until my blouse was open.

Dallas has only seen me without a shirt on a couple times. He usually wouldn't let me take it off because he claimed if he saw that much of me he wouldn't be able to stop himself. On the rare occasion he saw me in just my bra, he liked to take a minute and just stare. It made me feel a little self-conscious when he did that, but I never stopped him. When he snapped out of his gaze, he turned his attention back onto kissing me. We continued kissing, nipping, sucking, even biting for a couple minutes before I reached for his fly. I managed to unbutton and unzip his jeans, allowing his boner to break free. I could hear Dallas moan slightly against my neck when the tight constraint was no longer an issue.

"Baby," he breathily whispered in my ear. "We should stop."

I looked at him. "Why?"

He shook his head. "I don't have a condom with me."

We just looked at each other for a moment before I shook my head and started kissing his neck again. "I don't care. Just pull out or something." I tried to kiss him but Dally pulled away from me and looked at me with a confused look.

"Baby, I'm not gonna…" He was at a loss for words.

"It's okay. I'm telling you it's okay," I insisted. I knew he wouldn't go for it though. Despite what most people thought, Dallas could actually be a responsible person. It made me angry though, even though I knew it wasn't fair of me to be upset. "Did I do something? Are you mad at me?" Dallas looked even more confused.

"No, of course not. It's just not a good idea and you know that."

"I have been throwing myself at you for weeks. Why don't you wanna do this?"

"Brey, I-"

"I'm doing everything I promised my parents I would never do and it's still not enough."

"Wait, what?" Dallas clearly had no idea what I was talking about, and to be honest neither did i. But I couldn't stop. I started rebuttoning my shirt.

"I swore to my mom and dad that I would never throw myself at a guy. I would never use my body as a tool to get what I want or disrespect it by giving it to whoever asked." I was almost hysterical at this point and I couldn't make it stop. Tears were starting to surface and I would've given anything to turn them off. "If my dad knew we were here, he would march in here, throw me over his shoulder and carry me out. Then he'd come back and kick your ass. And at home they'd sit me down and feed some bullshit about how I don't need sex or a guy to make me happy and they wouldn't stop until I admitted that all guys, even my own brothers, were scum."

"Brey, sit down," Dallas paated the bed next to him. I hadn't even realized I was standing up, let alone pacing around the room.

"My mom would be even worse than my dad, though. She was always so determined to get it right with me. After all, they had three boys but only one girl. If they screwed up with me, I was their last chance. And they would be so disappointed with me if they knew all the shit I've done. I just want them here to yell at me." I looked over to Dal, you had a severe look of concern on his face. He was now standing, trying to get me to stop pacing. "I just want my mom." After that I broke down. I practically collapsed into Dally's waiting arms and sobbed loudly. Dallas picked me up and carried me to the bed. We laid there for a long time, me sobbing into his shoulder and him rubbing my back and kissing the top of my head. After I settled down, I had no idea how much time had passed. Maybe ten minutes, maybe thirty.

We laid in silence for a while. I must've fallen asleep because I remembered dreaming, although I couldn't remember what it was about. I looked up to see Dallas with his eyes closed. I tried to stand up without waking him, but his eyes opened anyway.

"Hey Brey," he said before sitting up to meet me. "You okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry." I felt stupid for breaking down like that. Dallas didn't need to see all that.

He rubbed my back. "Don't be sorry baby. But what brought all that on?"

I looked at him. "Today's the anniversary of their death." Dally's face changed immediately.

"Jesus, Brey, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

I shrugged. "It's okay, I didn't say anything."

"I should take you home so you can be with your brothers."

I shook my head. "Don't bother, none of them are home. They all scheduled work and practice until late tonight so that they can keep busy and not think about it."

Dallas nodded. "We can stay here as long as you want. Or we can go somewhere else, whatever you want."

I smiled. "Thanks."

We ended up staying at the house for a couple more hours. We moved to the living room and put a movie on, but didn't really watch it. We spent the couple hours reliving funny stories from when my parents were alive, like the time my mother caught Sodapop walking in drunk after the rare night of partying and when my father tried to talk to me about boys but quickly gave up and let my mom take over.

"You know they were expecting twin boys, right? That's why I have a boy name."

Dallas started to laugh wildly. "You're kidding, right?"

I shook my head. "They had names picked out and decided to stick with them after I came out a girl."

We told stories and laughed until we couldn't breathe until it was dark out. Eventually Dallas drive me home so I could spend time with my brothers.

I could tell none of them wanted to talk about it, so we all curled up in front of the TV and spent the night in comfortable silence. This day would always be hard for us, but I knew getting through it would just make us stronger as a family.