A/N: This story came to me while I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep one night. A few days later it was still rattling around so I decided to go with it. What we have now is pure fluff and then Shenko and more fluff. I guess that makes this story Shenko fluff. Anyway, let me know what you think. R&R is always appreciated.

And of course - I own nothing but my own oddities.

Lastly - Dedicated to the Ladies (and occasional men) of KAST and KAAS! Congrats on over 400 member!

Chapter One - Hide

One.

The crew scrambled in all directions as Shepard started counting.

Two.

Shepard had made the mistake of admitting to someone on her crew that her life on earth hadn't been conducive to a playful childhood and as a result, she'd never actually played any childhood games. That conversation then escalated and somehow everyone had been suckered into a game of hide and seek aboard the Normandy.

Three.

Although, as the crew explained the rules, she had decided every mission was a lot like this game. The bad guys had plenty of time to hide and then she arrived, found them all, and the game ended with everyone dead or on their way to prison.

Four.

Alright, her version was a bit more morbid and depressing but it was also a lot more fun.

Five.

Joker, who was given an obvious head start, was not worrying about finding the perfect spot to hide. Instead, he was getting everything ready for a little twist to this game everyone was playing. He made his way toward the airlock, "Right on time" he whispered.

Six.

Kelly and Garrus were going to help each other win this game. Kelly knew her way around the ship better than almost anyone else on board and Garrus was a big bulk of cuddly mass that Kelly wanted to "learn" more about. With that in mind Kelly suggested going down to engineering where they could whisper without being heard - the engines would cover up any small noises they might make.

Seven. Man. This counting thing is really boring.

"Just keep it up until you get to-"

"Ha. You fell for my trap. Better go in a different direction, Donnelly," Shepard gloated.

Eight.

Tali was trying to fit into the small crevice between the book-shelves and the wall in the starboard observation deck but her hips were proving problematic. After a few more tries she let out an exasperated sigh and started looking for another spot with a little more room.

Nine.

Jack was silently following Dr. Solus. She knew he'd have somewhere good to hide and if they both didn't fit, she would persuade him to go elsewhere.

Ten.

Shepard could hear heavy breathing and steps coming down the bridge towards CIC. Between counting she stopped to gloat, "Guess the bridge isn't the best place to hide after-all."

Eleven.

Joker looked a little worried but realized the black fabric tied around Shepard's head was definitely obstructing her view of anything going on around her. Luckily, that included himself and his "plan".

Twelve.

It wasn't that Grunt didn't understand the rules, he did. He just didn't get why they were doing this at all. "Humans" he grumbled. He just couldn't comprehend why the pilot had been so insistent on playing this game of cat and mouse. Grunt was far too big to hide in any clever places so he chose to simply take the elevator to the captain's quarters where he would sprawl out on her bathroom floor and maybe get some much needed rest. He knew Shepard often forgot she even had a bathroom in her quarters – he was counting on that happening again.

Thirteen.

Thane knew he was likely to win. This game required every skill that he had been refining since he was six years old. To give himself a bit of a challenge he decided he would hide only a few feet from Shepard at all times. And, as the last crew member decided CIC was not an ideal spot to hide, Thane disappeared into the shadows of the ship.

Fourteen.

Kasumi was just going to hang out in her room and use her cloaking device to win but the others had voted that, that was cheating before the game had begun. She now found herself crouched in a corner of the main battery, bent in all sorts of odd angles wishing she had just opted out of this game altogether.

Fifteen.

Zaeed was too good for this sort of non-sense but he was also a bit competitive. He strutted around for a bit acting like he didn't care and when no one was looking he slipped into a cupboard he had emptied earlier in the mess. He'd moved everything around and stocked it with a pillow. In fact it was the perfect spot to lie down and take a nap. A small grin crossed his face as he fell asleep.

Sixteen.

Samara was headed to the Women's restroom to hide in one of the shower stalls when she caught a glimpse of Joker. Usually, his presence didn't make her think twice but this time, his situation was much more entertaining. Joker riding piggyback on someone's back. He caught Samara staring with an amused look in her eye and simply put one finger to his lips. The human sign to "stay quiet". With this Joker and his friend disappeared around the corner towards the med-bay.

Seventeen.

Donnelly had purposely made the commander think she knew where he was so that he could hide exactly where she thought he was without her checking there because she would think he had gone somewhere not so obvious. Just thinking about all that sounded so confusing that Donnelly knew his plan was already working. He smirked to himself and hoped it would be enough of a ploy to last longer in this game than his dear gal pal Gabby.

Eighteen.

Gabby was holding in her laughter as she sat watching Kenneth. She'd found a perfect hiding spot to watch him squirm without him being able to see her. She had especially loved his ploy to trick the Commander as to his current whereabouts. Gabby was banking on his spot being the first place the Commander looked.

Nineteen.

Even after hearing the rules several times, Legion did not understand what was going on. He had conferred with EDI as to the purpose of this odd behavior. Unfortunately neither AI had an answer. As a result they chose to discuss the events of the past millennium in the Comm room, out of the way.

Twenty.

Mordin knew he was being followed and that is why he was planning on hiding in the worst calculated spot on the ship. The Armory. He had wandered the ship doing mathematical calculations in his head trying to buy time so that Jack would force him out of his bad hiding spot with just enough time to make his way to his intended spot before time ran out. Things were working out quite nicely.

Twenty-one.

Jacob had decided to hide under Miranda's desk but when he got there, someone was already there. "Look at this. Sneaking into Miranda's room, heavy risk, but the –" "Jacob. If you don't quit talking right now I swear I'll biotic throw you across the room." Jacob shut his mouth and Miranda made a little extra room as they waited patiently for the Commander to make her rounds.

Twenty-two.

Mess Sergeant Rupert was in heaven. He'd made his way into the port side observation deck and found that the spot behind the bar was free of any other inhabitants. He borrowed a bottle of some blue alcohol and got nice and comfortable.

Twenty-three.

Doctor Chakwas had been hiding between the couch and the window in the port side observation deck when Rupert had entered and headed straight for the bar. She cursed herself for not thinking about the benefits of a less effective hiding spot but a better situation over-all. She couldn't hold it in anymore knowing he was drinking the last of the Blue Brew Asari alcohol. "Rupert" … she whispered loudly. "Is there room for one more?"

Twenty-four.

Out of all the people on board the ship, he appreciated Doctor Chakwas the most. She was brilliant and beautiful. He quickly scooted over as the doctor made her way behind the bar with an empty glass and a coy smile.

Twenty-five.

"Ready or not, here I come" Shepard spoke over the Comm system.