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The full title of this fic "Dr. Urahara or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Kiuske" is an obvious allusion to "Dr. Strangelove or How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb."

This fic spawned from an offhand remark the siyentista made on the YoruSo FC at BleachAsylum, I guess I guess you could say it was her request.

This isn't going to be a multi-chapter fic, per-se. It's more like a series of connected one-shots.

There were times when Sui-Feng hated her job.

Sure, there were benefits for being the second most powerful person in the Seireitei, and it was nice that nobody interfered with her business for fear of the repercussions.

But there was a definite downside to her position. Sui-Feng was in charge of making sure that all the preparations for the so called "Winter War" were progression smoothly, even though the conflict was over a year away.

Sui-Feng's oversight of the war effort meant that there were times, such as now, when it would be necessary for her to travel to the World of the Living and obtain a status report from the one man she hated the most; Kiuske Urahara.

Scowling, Sui-Feng walked up the path to the front entrance to Urahara Shoten and entered the dilapidated cottage.

"Sui-Feng-taicho?" The muscular Tessai said with surprise as Sui-Feng entered the shop portion of the Shoten. Tessai was currently sweeping and in his surprise, swept some dirt onto Sui-Feng's shoes. "What can I do for you?"

"I am here to check up on Urahara's progress in creating the replica of Karakura." Sui-Feng said flatly as she kicked the dirt off of her shoes.

"The Boss is in his workshop in the basement." Tessai pointed over his shoulder. "I'll go get him."

"That won't be necessary." Sui-Feng held up a hand to stop him. Sui-Feng stepped over the pile of dirt and dust Tessai had swept up and headed for the door that he had pointed to. She was curious as to see what the so-called "Genius" considered a workshop.

Cautiously, Sui-Feng opened the door and peered beyond. The door opened to a poorly lit staircase that descended into what appeared to be a black abyss. Hesitantly, Sui-Feng descended the staircase, making sure to place each foot slowly.

When she finally reached the bottom of the surprisingly long stairs, she saw about what she had expected. Urahara's workshop was merely a series of tables cluttered with strange looking parts and contraptions. Most of the light in the room came from the computer screens that were littered around the edge and a few dim light bulbs that hung from the ceiling.

There seemed to be a few complete devices strewn about the room, but most of the inventions seemed to be in a state of half-completion or disrepair. There were several doors on the edge of the room that were all closed, hiding their contents from Sui-Feng curious eyes.

Sui-Feng's head was drawn to the sound of tapping from one of the far corners of the room. Urahara sat behind a computer, typing away at the keyboard, still wearing his hat even though he was inside. Sui-Feng approached the man, but bumped her foot on something in the dark. Urahara turned his head in surprise.

"Sui-Feng?" Urahara asked as he squinted, his eyes burning form staring that the computer screen in the dark. He jumped up once confirmed who he was seeing. "Sui-Feng! How are you?" Sui-Feng scowled at how familiarly he was addressing her. "I didn't ever expect to see you again, since you stole Yoruichi away from me." He ended with good humor. Sui-Feng couldn't help but smirk at that last remark. Yoruichi was currently living with Sui-Feng, when she wasn't at the Shihoin estate, at least.

"I'm here at Yamamoto-sotaicho and Kurotsuchi-tachoi's request. They are both interested in knowing how you are progressing." Sui-Feng replied very businesslike.

"Mayuri was always so impatient." Urahara sighed. "Give me a minute. I'll print some stuff out for you to take to him." Urahara turned back to his computer and resumed typing. While she waited, Sui-Feng walked around the workshop very carefully.

Off in one of the corners, Sui-Feng spotted a large contraption that stood about twice her height. At the top of the long, thin pole was a large conductor that looked very similar to the lasers super villains used in the cartoons that she had seen while she stayed with Yoruichi at the Shoten.

She continued to look at the invention curiously. There were numerous wires running gin and out of it, but they gave no hint of it purpose. Finally, curiosity got the better of her.

"What is this?" Sui-Feng asked, partially concerned that it may have a similar purpose to the lasers it reminded her of.

"That," Urahara said as he pushed the "print" button, "Is the Spiritron Particle Accelerator." The workshop was filled with the whirring of the printer.

"The what?" Sui-Feng asked incredulously.

"I invented it as a way to artificially increase someone reiatsu." Urahara continued as he walked up next to Sui-Feng. "What it does is it takes the spiritrons in the air and channels them into the desired target. More spiritrons equals higher reiatsu."

"Did it work?" Sui-Feng asked.

"Yes and no." Urahara answered. "You can't get something for nothing. Spiritrons take up physical space. They're the building block of all matter, so they have to. They're also very similar to stem cells. A spiritron is a blank slate. If you introduce to a preexisting entity, they become like the other cells surrounding it."

"Don't patronize me." Sui-Feng bit back venomously.

"Sorry, I don't know what you know and don't know." Urahara held up his hands defensively.

"Did it work?" Sui-Feng asked again, this time irritable.

"The rat I tested it on literally exploded." Urahara concluded. "I shot it full of spiritrons and they became fat and muscles tissue, swelling up the mouse until it exploded." Urahara shuddered as the image of the exploding rat played over in his mind again. "But, I guess the experiment was a success. The reiatsu sensor that was measuring the rat before it popped like a water balloon said that it had a sizable jump in reaitsu."

"You never bothered to figure out how to fix that problem?" Sui-Feng asked, a little bewildered. This seemed like an incredibly useful invention, unlike most of what he created.

"Never really saw the point. Most people are happy with the reaitsu they have. And even if they aren't, most people aren't willing to horrible disfigure themselves for something a little training can accomplish." Urahara heard the printer stop and walked over to it and removed the large stack of papers from the tray.

"Here, that ought to satisfy Mayuri's curiosity." Urahara said as he handed the over one-hundred papers to Sui-Feng.

Cradling the papers gently, as not to crease them, Sui-Feng left Urahara's workshop with a ludicrous idea forming in her head.

Sui-Feng sat in the back most corner of the Shinigami Women's association, tapping her finger on the table irritable.

Rangiku and Isane were sitting a few feet away from her, and she couldn't help but ease drop on their conversation.

"I don't like bras." Rangiku said to an obviously uncomfortable Isane, her sizable bosom nearly spilling out of her hakama, as always. "I like having the girls loose. Besides, when you're as big as me, finding bras that fit right is more trouble than it's worth. But you know all about that, don't you?" Rangiku nudged Isane.

"Boobies is here!" Yachiru squealed excitedly as Yoruichi entered the room. Even though she wasn't part of the Gotie 13, she spent enough time around the Women's Association to make her a de facto member. "Now Flat-Chest won't be so grumpy!" Sui-Feng frowned at her nickname, crossing her arms over her chest self-consciously.

"Aww, did Flat-Chest miss me?" Yoruichi smiled at Sui-Feng as she sat down next to her. Sui-Feng only grumbled in response, crossing her arms even tighter.

"Don't be like that." Yoruichi pouted. "It's very fitting nickname. Just like Boobies is very fitting for me." Yoruichi leaned in close to Sui-Feng's ear. "Though Booty would have worked just as well." Yoruichi whispered huskily, referencing Sui-Feng's posterior, which she called any variation of "magnificent" on a daily basis. As if it made up for her lack of breasts.

"Yeah, but it's more fitting for me." Rangiku interrupted.

"I don't know," Yoruichi thought for a moment. "I think Yachiru was going with quality over quantity."

"Hey!' Rangiku whined hurtfully, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't get me wrong, you definitely have the biggest boobs in the room, but mine have that perfect balance between girth and pert." Yoruichi stood up bounced on her heels a few times to demonstrate her perkiness.

"I can be just as perky as you can." Rangiku said defiantly. "Here watch." Rangiku bounced on her own heals and her breast sloshed around in her top.

"No, sorry." Yoruichi shook her head. "But when you have boobs that big, gravity is no longer your friend."

"We need someone to judge who has better boobs." Rangiku concluded.

"Hey Soi!" Yoruichi turned to Sui-Feng, who still had her arms crossed over her chest angrily. "Tell us which one of us has better boobs."

"That's not fair!" Rangiku stomped her foot. "You're her girlfriend, of course she going to pick you!"

"Fine, then you pick." Yoruichi conceded.

"Nemu's basically a robot, she should be impartial." Rangiku though aloud. "Plus, she knows a thing or two about nice boobs herself. Hey Nemu! Come over here for a second!" Rangiku waved Nemu over, who had been talking to Unohana.

Breast, boobs, titties, fun bags, sweater puppies, melons, jugs, hooters, tatas, Sui-Feng though angrily as Nemu judged both Rangiku and Yoruichi's busts. Is that all these women care about?

"Ha! I told you!" Yoruichi cheered triumphantly after Nemu declared her the winner. "Behold the greatest boobs in all the land!"Yoruichi declared and proceeded to do a victory dance.

That was the last straw for Sui-Feng. Slamming her fists on the table, she stood up and stormed out of the room, willing heading towards the one place she never thought she would ever want to go.

Quietly, Sui-Feng entered Urahara Shoten. There didn't seem to be anybody around. Concentrating, she searched for the reaitsu of the inhabitants. Tessai, Ururu, and Jinta were in the back yard, and Urahara was right where she wanted him.

With the utmost care as to not make any noise, Sui-Feng opened up the door to the workshop and descended the stairs.

Sui-Feng found Urahara standing in a corner of his workshop, struggling with something in his hands.

"Damn you hot pocket!" Urahara shouted dramatically. "Get out of your package so I can eat you!" Urahara finally managed to open the plastic wrap and extracted the instant meal. Recklessly, he took a large bit out of it. The cheese and pepperoni filling was still boiling hot. Urahara opened his mouth to let out a scream and his eyes widened. In his surprise, he finally noticed the he was no longer alone.

"Sui-Feng?" Urahara asked to the darkness. Sui-Feng finally stepped into what little light there was. "Look, you can tell Yamamoto that checking up on me every three days isn't going to make things go any faster."

"I'm not here about that." Sui-Feng replied.

"Then why are you here?" Urahara asked curiously. "Unless…my charms finally got the better of you! Oh, I always knew we could be best friend if you just gave me a chance!" Urahara leapt to hug Sui-Feng, but she stopped him with a swift jab to the chest.

"I'm not here for camaraderie either." Sui-Feng said bluntly.

"Well then I'm officially confused." Urahara said after he caught his breath.

"The Spiritron Particle Accelerator," Sui-Feng nodded in its direction. "Does it still work?"

"Y..yes." Urahara answered cautiously.

"How long would it take you to recalibrate it so that it would not be dangerous to use?" Sui-Feng asked.

"Look, Sui-Feng, I don't know what you're planning, but it's not worth it for a little extra reiatsu. At your level, the increase would be neglig…" Urahara was cut off by.

"I don't want you to use it to increase my reiatsu," If the lighting had been better, Urahara would have been able to see that Sui-Feng was blushing. "I want you to use it to make my breast larger!" She blurted out.

"What?" Urahara laughed.

"Stop laughing!" Sui-Feng commanded.

"I'm sorry, but that's the appropriate response when someone says something funny." Urahara continued to laugh.

"I'm serious!" Sui-Feng tried to glare threateningly.

"So you really want me to give you a spiritron boob job?" Urahara asked, still sniggering.

"Yes, though you put it rather crudely." Sui-Feng crossed her arms. "So, can you do it?" Urahara was silent for a moment.

"Yeah, I could do it." Urahara's eyes gleamed, the cogs and gears of his mind already whirling. "But the real question is; why should I?" Sui-Feng scowled. She had hoped he wouldn't go this route.

"I know that you have been bribing several of my men to smuggle goods to your shops, in spite of my best efforts to stop you." Sui-Feng met Urahara's eyes.

"Yes, you have made the smuggling game rather difficult for me." Urahara commented.

"If you do this for me," Sui-Feng took a deep breath. "I'll turn a blind eye occasionally."

"Hmmm," Urahara thought for a moment. "How often is occasionally?"

"Let's just say that as long as you don't press your luck, I'll pretend not to notice." Sui-Feng replied. Urahara stood in thoughtful silence.

"Come back in a week." Urahara rubbed his stubble contemplatively. "I should have things ready by then."

Urahara scribbled some more equations down onto the paper in front of him. He knew that Sui-Feng should be arriving at any moment, and he needed to triple check him math, lest he turn her into a red splatter.

Just as he expected, Urahara heard the door to the workshop open and footsteps. Sui-Feng reached the bottom of the stares to find that the workshop had been rearranged. All the tables had been pushed to the side and in the center of the room stood the Spiritron Particle Accelerator.

"I'm here, just like you asked." Sui-Feng announced her presence. "Is everything ready?"

"Almost…" Urahara mumbled as he punched some numbers onto a calculator. "And…done. Everything seems to be in order." Urahara stood up and walked over to the control panel of the Spiritron Particle Accelerator and began to type on its keyboard.

"Now I have to ask," Urahara turned to Sui-Feng after he finished calibrating the machine. "What does Yoruichi think about all this? I don't want her bashing my skull in because she has a mosquito bite fet..ish!" Urahara squealed as Sui-Feng grabbed one of his fingers and bent in backwards. "Actually, now that I think about it, it's more like a bee sting feti..ow!" Sui-Feng bent another finger back. Urahara shook his hand out to assuage the pain.

"For you information, Yoruichi doesn't know about any of this." Sui-Feng replied. "She'll be at the Shihoin estate for the next three days."

"And you couldn't wait to talk things out with her?" Urahara asked.

"She probably would have just told that I'm fine the way I am and that I don't need to do this." Sui-Feng shrugged. "But, to be frank, I don't care. I'm sick of being mistaken for a man by the new recruits in the other Divisions. I'm sick and tired of Yachiru calling me Flat-Chest!"

"Fine, fine." Urahara conceded. "But you have to vouch for me if she gets mad about this." Urahara pointed to the masking tape "X" on the ground. "Stand here and take off your top." Sui-Feng moved to the spot and removed her haori, but hesitated in untying the knot that held her top up.

"Come on, this was your idea." Urahara chastised. Frowning, and with a furious blush, Sui-Feng untied the knot and exposed herself.

"Wow, Yoruichi wasn't kidding." Urahara whistled. Urahara was always thought that Yoruichi had been exaggerating Sui-Feng's lack of a bust. He always thought that cut of her uniform just downplayed her chest. But now, staring at her bare chest, Urahara realized that Yoruichi hadn't been joking in the slightest. Urahara might as well have been staring at the chest of a slender boy.

"Let's just get this over with." Sui-Feng fidgeted. It was cold in the workshop.

"Now, now." Urahara chided. "Let's not be hasty. " He turned to a nearby table. "How are you about needles?"

"What is that?" Sui-Feng asked as she looked at the syringe in Urahara's hand. It was filled with a green liquid that was glowing faintly.

"Do you know how humans use radioactive isotopes in medicine?" Urahara asked. Sui-Feng shook her head. "Well, if you did, then you would know that this stuff works similarly. This," he tapped the syringe lightly," draws the spiritrons to where it's injected and makes sure that just you breasts will inflate like balloons and not the rest of you."

With a steady hand, Urahara injected half of the contents of the syringe into each of Sui-Feng's breast, just under the nipple. Once that was done, he returned to his spot behind the control panel and donned a pair of think rubber gloves, a lead apron, and dark protective goggles.

"Should I be wearing goggles?" Sui-Feng asked as Urahara reached for the lever that would start the machine.

"Probably." Urahara shrugged and threw the switch.

Yoruichi strolled through the barracks of the Second Division, her feet automatically taking her on the well know path to her destination. After passing the quarters of the enlisted men, and then the officers, Yoruichi finally arrived to Sui-Feng quarters.

"Hey Soi! Yoruichi called out as she entered. "I heard that you called in sick today and decided to come home early to baby you."

"I appreciate the thought," Sui-Feng replied, slouched over her desk filling out papers. "But that won't be necessary." Sui-Feng reclined back in her chair and Yoruichi's jaw nearly hit the floor.

"Soi! Your boobs!" Yoruichi breathed, pointing in disbelief. Sui-Feng's uniform was straining to contain her new bust. "How? I don't understand!"

"Yesterday, I had Urahara use one of his inventions to increase my breast size." Sui-Feng explained.

"You let Urahara do this?" Yoruichi asked, completely stunned.

"Unohana doesn't do this type of surgery and there is no way that I would let Mayuri get anywhere near me with a scalpel." Sui-Feng replied. "Besides, this was non-invasive. All he did was pump my chest full of spiritrons."

"Can I see them?" Yoruichi asked, her eyes glued to Sui-Feng's chest.

"Of course." Sui-Feng smiled, loving the way Yoruichi was staring at her. Confidently, Sui-Feng stood up and walked over to Yoruichi. Without the faintest hint of hesitation, Sui-Feng undid the knot of her top and revealed herself to Yoruichi.

Yoruichi was struck breathless by the sight before her. Sui-Feng's breasts were nothing short of perfect. Though they were probably only in the B-cup range, they appeared larger on Sui-Feng's petite frame. Carefully, Yoruichi cupped each breast. They felt completely natural, as if they had been that way the whole time and they were perfectly formed.

Suddenly, Yoruichi was struck with an irresistible urge. Leaning down, Yoruichi buried her face between Sui-Feng's breasts and shook it back and forth, blowing air through her pursed lips as she did so.

"Gentle!" Sui-Feng giggled. "There still tender." The presence of extra spiritrons meant that her breasts were more sensitive than normal. "So, what do you think?"

"There perfect, Soi." Yoruichi answered, still cupping them. "But you were fine before. You didn't have to do this."

"Yes is did." Sui-Feng replied as she extracted her breasts from Yoruichi's hands and covered herself. "When I was a teenager and all the girls around me started hitting puberty, I started to get self conscious. First, I thought I was just a late bloomer and that I would develop with time. But I never did. All my life, I've been so self conscious about my flat chest. I can't tell you how happy I was when I woke up this morning and looked din the mirror. I looked like a woman, not a prepubescent girl! I feel so confident now."

"Well, anything that helps you self-esteem is A-OK with me." Yoruichi pulled Sui-Feng closer to her, their breasts mashing together. Sui-Feng loved the feeling. She no longer felt inadequate next to Yoruichi. "Now what do you say we go test theses new puppies out?"