Here is my newest parody. It is done in pretty much the same style as my 20 Stupid Horror Movie Cliches and Dating Disasters, so hopefully you don't mind. Now onto the story!
Warning: Well, not really a warning, but more of a heads up. I am making fun of several stereotypes in this story, though it is for humorous purposes only. They are not meant to offend anyone, if I do offend someone, please let me know and I will apologize yet again. As I said, nothing against stereotypes, especially since I do not stereotype people in the first place, but I decided to just poke fun at them ^_^
Working at a Hellhole
Have you ever had a job before? A crappy one for that matter? No, scratch that, for most jobs out there are crappy in one way or another. What I meant is, have you ever had a job so annoying, so excruiatingly horrible that you would prefer jumping into a shark-infested swimming pool? Yeah, now you know what I'm talking about.
Takuya: Hey, what are you doing?
Dammit, Kanbara! Must you interrupt me everytime I go to do a parody?! I swear, you're like stalking me to make sure that I have a problem each time I do one.
Takuya: I'm not stalking you! I'm just wondering.
Fine, if you must know, I'm doing a parody of what it's like to work in a hellhole.
Takuya: But....if it was a hellhole, wouldn't we be covered in flames and our boss would be Satan?
Argh! Not literally, dumbass! I meant working in a place that makes you want to kill yourself just by thinking about it. Though I'm sure many people think of their bosses as Satan. Not me, though. Satan's a cool guy and gives out free beer.
Takuya: Oh, I see. Am I in this?
As a matter-of-fact, not only are you in this, but you're starring in it as well. So on that note, put this uniform on.
Takuya: Hell yeah! *runs off with uniform* I'm gonna be a star!
...Yes, well...as I was saying, here is a list of what you may or may not experience in a workplace. Please keep in mind that many of these are from personal experience as well, so I'm not just talking out of my ass pretending like I know what I'm actually talking about. Now without further ado, I will now present the story...although this intro is part of the story...uh, yeah.... Anyway, let's begin!
1. Meeting your fellow employees.
This is pretty much the first thing you deal with, other than learning the name of the place of employment and the dude that hired you in the first place. Some may be pleasant, while others make you so pissed off that you attempt to chop them into pieces with a machete. I can't deny attempting that once or twice...
Takuya: *walks out of his dressing room* Hey, what's the meaning of this?!
*Innocently* What ever are you talking about?
Takuya: *points to the uniform he is now wearing* I'm working at a fast-food place?!
Why, yes. In my experience, fast-food is one of the worst jobs you could ever have. Out of the six jobs I've had, I wanted to kill myself more so when the place was a fast-food restaurant.
Takuya: But what kind of name is Burger Joint?! You mean to tell me that the place I have to work at is called Burger Joint?!
Well, the original owner was a pothead and named it because of his love for the happy plant. I mean, why else would the restaurant mascot be a giant burger man with a joint in its hand?
Takuya: What?! *runs outside to look at the restaurant*
[True to what I've said, sitting on top of the building is a giant, plastic burger. It has a stoned, yet happy face, and is holding what appears to be a plastic joint. In its other hand it is holding a container of fries to help with its 'munchies' craving.
Takuya: *twitches, then walks back inside, muttering* Fucking crazy writer....
Anyway, here are Takuya's co-workers. He was given a script behind the scenes to learn who everyone was and introduce them, as I am way too lazy to do it myself. You see, I was so jealous of that stoned, plastic burger on the rooftop, that I-
Takuya: Okay, no one needs to hear about your pointless problems.
Yeah, you're right...for once... But anyway, he will now introduce his fellow co-workers and stereotype them just for the fun. Take it away, moron!
Takuya: Hey! I'm not a moron! *mumbles more curses* But yeah, I will now introduce my co-workers AKA, the crazy people I am forced to work with.
[He goes into the break room of the fast-food joint, seeing several teenagers seated at one of the tables. There are three guys, and three girls, all of them pissed off that I forced them here at gunpoint]
Takuya: Right, so anyway, here is my first co-worker, Kouji.
[Shows an angsty-looking teenage boy with black hair. He is wearing a blue bandana under his Burger Joint hat, clearly unhappy with the situation.]
Takuya: Kouji is the emo, angsty one of the group. He will take bathroom breaks to slit his wrists, then come back as if nothing's happened. He can also be a bit of an asshole.
Kouji: Go screw yourself, Takuya.
Takuya: *ignores him* Moving onto my next co-worker is Kouji's twin brother, Kouichi.
[Shows a crazed teenager resembling Kouji, only with shorter hair. He seems to be trying to hide a squirt gun under the table.]
Takuya: Kouichi is the crazy one of the group. He is very nice, but he's just....well, don't piss him off. God knows what he put in that damn squirt gun. But moving on, the last guy here is Toshi. He is usually completely stoned out of his mind, but always manages to make the best burgers in his fucked-up state. Unfortunately, he also eats half of them because he gets the munchies and has to re-make them in the end....
[Shows guy who is staring off into space, idly eating a bag of chips. His eyes are half-closed and red, yet a dazed smile is on his face.]
Takuya: The girl right here is Hana.
[Shows girl with black hair and purple streaks throughout it. Her face is covered in white make-up, making her look pale and dead. Black lipstick and black nail polish completed her gothic style, and she wore spiked bracelets with her uniform.]
Takuya: She's the goth of the group, as you can see.
Hana: Blood....Death....Pain....Suffering....Deceit....Lies....Alone....
Takuya: ....Right....uh...the chick over here on the cell phone is Saika, the high-maintainence girl.
[Shows girl with dirty blond hair yapping away on a cell phone. She has pink lipstick and nail polish, and seems to have a hyperactive personality.]
Saika: *into phone* OMG! Are you, like, serious?! NO WAY! If he took his shirt off in front of me, I'd die! I WOULD JUST DIE!
Takuya: And last but not least of my co-workers is Zoe.
[Shows a beautiful blond girl with sparkling green eyes and a shy smile.]
Takuya: Yeah...that's Zoe....the girl who I've loved ever since first grade! The girl who I watch from outside her window at night, just hoping to get a glance at her without anything on! The girl who I just want to shove into the walk-in fridge and have an hour-long make-out session with!
Everyone but Hana: O_O;
Hana: Destruction....Fire......Hate.....Misery.....Screams......Anguish......
2. Dealing with crazy bosses
Okay, I'm back from my uh...break... Yeah...we'll call it that.... But anyway, with almost every job out there, you will most likely have at least one completely insane boss. I've had plenty in my day, including one that was escorted out of the building by police after he shot the vending machine for not releasing the Kit Kat bar he had paid for. But, in all fairness, I can't blame him and would've done the same for that delicious candy bar.....
[Cuts to a crazed man in his mid-forties named Denjiro. He is plump, with thick black hair and matching mustache, as well as wide hazel eyes. He is standing in front of everyone, steam blowing out of his ears.]
Denjiro: This is a disgrace! I just got here and everyone is goofing off! Why is nothing being cooked or cleaned?! Serve the hungry customers right away! And then when you have a minute of free time, clean and restock! Do I make myself clear?!
Takuya: But...we just showed up... This place isn't even open yet.
Kouichi: *is lying down under the shake machine with his mouth open as the machine dispenses the partially frozen liquid*
Denjiro: I don't care! Serve the customers anyway! I can hear them yelling for food! Clean! Mop! Restock! And I want everything done before you start! Do I make myself clear?! It want everything done before you even begin!
Saika: But how is that pos-
Denjiro: I don't care how! Use a time machine! Find a genie! Jump off a dock into a pool of lava! Just figure something out while I go back into my office to work!
Takuya: Don't you mean you're going into your office to look at porn? I know that's what you do back there, Denny.
Denjiro: I do not look at porn! Nor do I own it! I'm going to do some private matters that may or may not involve me staring into magazines containing naked women! And do not call me Denny! *runs away into his office, only to immediately log into a pornographic website*
3. Dealing with rude, stupid, and/or psychotic customers.
Pretty much no matter where you work, you'll be dealing with the public at some point. No matter how nice you are, you will always encounter that jackass who makes you want to blow your brains out. Despite all the annoyance, and your boss's constant saying 'The customer is always right', keep one thing in mind; the customer is NOT always right. And they better learn damn well before I track them all down with a grenade.
Customer: Hello?! I'd like to order! Now, you fucking idiots!
Takuya: *goes to counter* Hello, sir. How may I help you?
Customer: About fucking time you got over here! What were you doing back there?! Jerking off?!
Takuya: -_-; Actually, I was cleaning up a spill. Now, what can I do for you?
Customer: Aren't you supposed to say 'may I take your order'? If you're gonna do it, do it right!
Takuya: *eye twitches* O-kay... May I take your order?
Customer: That's more like it! See, people who work in a fast-food place can have the brainpower to do something correctly if the customer tells them to. The customer is king!
Takuya: Grr.....
Customer: But anyway, what are in the burgers?
Takuya: Well, it depends on what you order. They normally come with ketchup, mustard, pickles, and a piece of cheese.
Customer: *confused* Do they contain meat?
Takuya: Well, yeah. I'm just naming what is on the burger. But you can also add stuff like tomatoes, onions, lettuce, and bacon as well.
Customer: But...they all come with meat, right?
Takuya: ....Yes... what would you like?
Customer: Hold on. What are your french fries made of?
Takuya: *eye twitches again* Potatoes, sir. Would you like to order some?
Customer: Your fries aren't made from onions?
Takuya: No, but our onion rings are made of onions. The fries are made from potatoes and the onions are made from onions. Now what would you-
Customer: What about the drinks? Do you sell drinks?
Takuya: *extremely annoyed* Yes, sir. We sell a variety of drinks. We have soda, juices, water, tea, coffee, milkshakes, and milk.
Customer: Do you sell alcohol?
Takuya: No, it is against our policy to sell any alcoholic beverages. Now would you like to-
Customer: No alcohol?! How the hell am I supposed to enjoy one of your burgers with meat if I don't have a beer?!
Takuya: *eye twiches yet again* I'm sure you can purchase beer from a nearby store. But we don't sell it here.
Customer: This is ridiculous! Your burgers don't come with meat already on them, your fries aren't made from onions, and now you're telling me that you don't serve alcohol?! What kind of place are you running here?!
Takuya: Dude, if you don't like it, then you can leave find somewhere else to go!
Customer: No! I'm a paying customer! *throws Monopoly money on the counter* Now ask me what I want to order!
Takuya: This money is from a board game! I can't accept this!
Customer: *delusional* I want onion fries! I want burgers with meat and clams in the them! I want alcohol and I want one of the girls to serve it to me wearing this maid costume! *holds up a slutty maid outfit* The blond girl over there can do it!
Zoe: Uh.....
Takuya: That's it! I'm kicking your ass out of here, you prick!
[However, before he can, Kouichi comes out from behind the customer and hits him over the head with a cement block. He then grabs the man's ankles and begins to drag him away.]
Kouichi: No one ever saw this....no one....
Zoe: No one.
Takuya: No one at all. *flashes Zoe a flirtatious smile, then waits for her to turn around to grab the maid costume* Someday, my love, you'll be wearing this just for me....
Kouichi: *drags the customer away and disposes of him in an undisclosed area, making sure the body is never seen again*
[Cuts to Kouji, who is hiding in the breakroom underneath a table. He is slitting his wrists, an angsty expression on his face as he watches the blood drip to the floor.]
Kouji: It's only ketchup...only ketchup....
4. Incompetent co-workers
Okay, admit it; we've all had our share of incompetent co-workers. Whether they're always late, bossy, or just plain lazy, we've dealt with plenty of them on numerous occassions. Sometimes they take all the credit for something you did, while in reality they were just sitting on their asses watching as you did it. Other times, they completely bail on you to take a phone call, causing you to get swarmed by a mob of angry customers. Accept the fact that you can't decide who you work with, for you'll be stuck with them until god knows how long. However, hiring a good hitman might make your work troubles lessen...or even go away for the time being....
Takuya: Hey! Are you guys gonna help me or what?!
Toshi: *is smoking in the grill area while eating a burger* Mmm.....
Kouji: Uh....one sec! *bandaging up his wounds from earlier* It was only ketchup...
Hana: *standing there completely still and frightening the customers* Kill....Murder...Torture...Desecrate....
Saika: *on cell phone* No way! NO WAY! Like OMG, are you freakin' serious?! Aaaah! Ooooh myyyyy gaaaaawwwddd! You are like, so, so, soooo lucky!
Kouichi: Be right there.... *goes to hide his shovel and wash the blood and dirt off his hands*
Zoe: Sorry, Denny just made me restock everything...put everything back....and restock again....
Denjiro: Zoe! I want you to put everything back again! And get it done before I'm done with this sentence! Aaah! I've finished the sentence and you haven't even started! And if my psychiatrist calls, I'm not here! And for the last time, DON'T CALL ME DENNY!
Zoe: *sigh* Sorry, Takuya. I'll help out as soon as I can.
Takuya: It's okay, I understand. Maybe Denny should just take his medication and make up his friggen mind....
Denjiro: I don't need that medication! It was making me crazy! And see how sane I am now?! Huh?! And don't call me Denny!
5. Cleaning
At some point, you'll most likely get stuck doing a crappy job that no one else wants to do. This goes for cleaning, of course. Whether it's something easy like mopping or wiping the counters, to something gross like cleaning up someone's regurgitated lunch, no one really wants to do it. Try to make yourself as busy as possible in order to avoid doing it. Even if you pretend to be working, make it look convincing and spare yourself of the disgusting messes that customers sometimes leave behind.
[By now, Denny the morning manager has left. He had an appointment to see the psychiatrist that he thought he didn't need. Now in his place is the mid-day assistant manager, Akito. He is in his late teens, but still has an assistant manager status due to him working their for nearly ten years. Back then, child labor laws didn't come into play that much. His large, horse-like teeth are covered with braces, and the lenses of his glasses are almost as thick as coke-bottles. His hiked-up uniform pants were secured by suspenders, giving everyone an unpleasant view of his...er....parts.....ugh.... His knee socks are clearly visible with his brown loafers, and his dirty blond hair had been combed neatly by his mother.]
Akito: *snorts and wipes his nose with a tissue* Takuya, could you clean the men's bathroom? It needs to be cleaned.
Takuya: Dammit, why me? Why can't Kouji do it?
Akito: He took another break to go do something.... He muttered something about ketchup. But anyway, Toshi is busy in the grill, and Kouichi is manning the front counter.
Takuya: Yeah, but so am I.
Akito: He also threatened to make me disappear if I made him clean anything... So, because I value my life, and you don't have high-tech weapons like Kouichi stashes away, I went with you.
Takuya: *sighs and looks at his simple rocket launcher* Yeah...you've got a point with him... Fuck....
[Cuts to Takuya in the men's bathroom with a mop and a bucket. The place is a disaster, with puddles of piss on the floor, soap and toilet paper strewn about, and what appeared to be feces smeared over the walls.]
Takuya: O_O Holy shit! *begins cleaning* Ugh...this is so fucking gross..... Piss everywhere.... What the fuck?! Do these guys miss the toilet on purpose?! They shit everywhere but the toilet! Fucking nasty!
[ He then puts on a bodysuit to protect himself from whatever may be lurking inside the bathroom. After several minutes of cleaning the floor, urinals, walls, mirror, and ceiling (don't ask.....you don't want to know....), he finally comes to the final stall.]
Takuya: You've gotta be kidding me! Not only do they fucking miss the toilet to take a dump, but they also puked everywhere?! Aaaaahhhh!
Twenty minutes later
Takuya: *emerges from bathroom and takes off his gas mask* Finally.... That is the worst job I can think of.... *looks at girl's bathroom* I wonder if it's as bad in there as the men's room....
Zoe: *runs out of the bathroom crying* Oh, my god! Women are so gross! *begins to hug Takuya as she cries*
Takuya: *hugs her back* Men are gross too!
6. Attraction between co-workers
Sometimes, physical attraction may occur between co-workers. Many places of employement prohibit work-related relationships, but I say, who gives a damn? Just if you happen to break up, make sure you still do your damn job or Kouichi will hit you with a bat. Some co-workers date secretly, while others just flat-out hit on each other. Try not to go too crazy though, as there is now such thing as something called 'sexual harrassment'. You don't want one of those lawsuits to be slapped onto your ass.
Kouji: *wanders over to Hana* .....I like your bracelets....they're black...just like my heart....
Hana: *looks at him vacantly* I like black...it stands for death and destruction. We will all perish from slow, agonizing deaths....
Kouji: ....Wanna see the scars on my wrists?
Hana: ....Sure.....
[Cuts to Kouichi and Saika]
Kouichi: Hi, Saika.
Saika: Uh....hi... *whispers into phone* Some weird guy I work with is talking to me....Like, what should I do?
Kouichi: So, I've noticed you around here....Do you come here often?
Saika: Um...I work here.....
Kouichi: .....I killed a guy a few minutes ago. His body is in an undisclosed area that is swarming with maggots. Would you like to come and see?
Saika: What?! No, that's disgusting!
Kouichi: There is also a mall not too far away from where I put him.....
Saika: Let me grab my purse and credit card! *runs off in excitement*
Kouichi: *smiles creepily* Girls always like the crazy ones....even if they don't always admit it.....
[Cuts to Takuya and Zoe, AKA our favorite couple, Takumi!]
Takuya: So....how's life?
Zoe: Uh, life is okay, I guess. Especially considering we work in a place like this.....
Akito: *from the other room* Aaaah! A ladybug! Help meeeee!
Takuya: O-kaaay..... *looks around with shifty eyes* Is anyone around?
Zoe: *shakes her head* No.
Takuya: Then let's go. *grabs her hand and pulls her into the walk-in fridge*
[They emerge ten minutes later, their hair disheveled and their clothes slightly messy. And no, they did not have sex. They simply had a really intense make-out session. Happy?! I didn't think so....]
Takuya: Same time tomorrow?
Zoe: Definitely ^_^.
Takuya: Hell yeah!
7. Health Codes
Health codes are a very important factor in a business. Face it, if you run your business like a zoo, then people may not want to come. That may not be a bad thing, though, if you don't feel like dealing with anyone that day. But, you need money, so as much as you hate to admit it, you need those morons-I mean customers to come. Plus, the health inspector can be a douchebag and demand that you clean every last inch of the place, including the cracks between the tiles. Friggen assholes....
[By now, Akito had gone home because it was getting past his curfew of five in the evening. His mommy said that he would not be allowed to wear his feetie pajamas if he was late, so he screwed. In his place was the other assistant manager, Seiji. He usually took care of the night shift and was probably the best manager to work with, for he hated annoying customers as well. He has dark brown hair, and blue eyes, being in his mid-twenties. Like Toshi and the original owners, he too is a die hard pothead. Whether he is rolling a joint in the breakroom or fishbowling the entire restaurant, he is always doing something involving pot. Today is also the day that the health inspector, Ed, shows up.]
Ed: Ready for the inspection to begin?
Takuya: Uh...I guess..... Let me get my assistant manager. Seiji! The health dude is here!
Seiji: Coming! *stumbles out, completely stoned* Heeey, man! Waz up?!
Ed: Erm, nothing much...so are you ready for me to take a look?
Seiji: By all meanses.....hehe, meanses....I just made a word up.... Toshi! Can you make me something to eat? I don't care what it is, just make sure it tastes good!
Toshi: Got it! And remember, I'm picking up an ounce off of you later!
Ed: O_O Are you conducting a drug deal here?
Seiji: Nah! Of course not! We're doing it after work in my car!
Ed: .....Right...Anyway, why don't we start behind the counter?
Seiji: Sure thing! *leads him behind the counter*
[To Ed's surprise and horror, a hobo is passed out on the floor beside the counter, an empty cup in his hand.]
Ed: What?! What is the meaning of this?!
Seiji: *looks at hobo* Whoa.... Was he delivered with the rest of the supplies that Denny ordered?
Takuya: Nah, he wandered in asked if he could take a nap. I felt bad for the poor guy, so I gave him a drink and told him to sleep here.
Ed: That's horrible!
Takuya: Yeah, I know. I would've put him in the breakroom, but Kouji locked himself inside and won't open the door for some strange reason....
Ed: I'm gonna have to write you up for this! *angrily jots down notes* What other abominations are in this building?!
Takuya: Well, I would say Denny, but he ain't here right now!
Seiji: Hahaha! Nice one, dude! I'm gonna have to smoke you up for that later. I kept my stash in my locker so we can have a joint as soon as this douchebag is gone.
[By now, Ed is furious, and poor Seiji is too stoned to realize the foolish things he is saying. And Takuya....well, Takuya is just plain stupid....]
Ed: There is weed in this building?! I'm calling the cops and having you both arrested. And then, I'm getting this place closed down due to the incompetence of its employees! Only god knows how many other violations there are!
[He is suddenly hit over the head with a baseball bat, revealing Kouichi to be behind him once he crashes to the floor. Kouichi smiles crazily, then grabs the man's legs, like he had with the annoying customer.]
Kouichi: You didn't see anything......
Takuya and Seiji: We didn't see anything.....
Kouichi: *nods and drags the body away to dispose of it*
Seiji: Well, I'd say that we passed! Let's go celebrate!
Takuya: Hell yeah!
8. Dealing with robberies
At one point or another, you may or may not experience your very first robbery. Most people would say that you should give the guy the cash and let him go. Do not chase after him or try to disarm him of his weapon, they say. Well, I say that those ideas are crap! If anyone dares to rob me, not only are they gonna get a crowbar to the head, but it's going up in a place where the sun don't shine. So think twice about robbing anyone, especially if they have access to a heavy, blunt object.
[While Takuya and Zoe are at the front counter, a shady-looking man in a ski mask enters. While Zoe is uneasy about the man, Takuya, being the idiot that he is, assumes that the guy just came back from skiing. Right now, Hana and Kouji are both on break, discussing how black their hearts are, while Kouichi is in the backroom trying to convince Saika to take a trip to see where he just hid the health inspector's body. Saika is beginning to warm up to the boy who she usually refers to as 'The Psycho', but is too busy on her cell phone to take a walk with him. Toshi and Seiji are taking a trip to a convenience store to pick up assorted candies and snack foods. As of right now, Takuya and Zoe are alone up front with no back up. There are also no other customers present.]
Robber: Give me all the fucking money in the registers! *points gun at Zoe's head* Do it! Empty the fucking registers and put the cash in this bag!
Zoe: *too afraid to move*
Takuya: *staring at a speck on his shoe* ....Is that dried ketchup? I don't remember eating anything with ketchup.... Last person I was with who had any ketchup was Kouji.... Hmmmm......
Robber: I said empty them! You have three seconds or I'm blowing your fucking head off!
Takuya: *finally notices the robber* Zoe, is this customer giving you a hard time?
Zoe: Customer?! Does he look like a fucking customer to you?!
Robber: *shoots the ceiling* Let that be a warning! The next time the gun goes off, it'll be aimed at your head! So make your decision now, blondie!
Zoe: *begins to cry and opens the first register, as she doesn't have a heavy object to hit him with* O-okay..... Please don't shoot me....
Robber: Put the cash in the bag! Yeah, put it in!
Takuya: Dude, are you having a bad day or something? You need to lighten up.
Robber: Lighten up?!
Zoe: Shut up, Takuya! You're gonna get us both killed!
Takuya: How?
Robber: With this fucking gun in my hand, you dumbass! I have a fucking gun and I'm not afraid to use it!
Takuya: In Soviet Russia, you don't have gun; gun has you.
Robber: ....What?!
Zoe: Takuya, you did not just make one of those stupid Soviet Russia jokes, did you?!
Takuya: Uh, yeah. Weren't you listening?
Zoe: -_-; I'm gonna kill you.... I swear to god, I'm going to friggen murder you if we somehow make it out alive.
Takuya: In Soviet Russia-
Robber and Zoe: No more Soviet Russia jokes!
Takuya: Damn, you guys need a sense of humor. How about a Chuck Norris joke instead?
Robber: *grabs the rest of the money* Fuck this, I'm killing you two anyway. *aims gun at them*
[Takuya and Zoe hug each other in fear, the idiotic brunette finally realizing the peril that they were in. Just then, the shake machine sputtered and shook, spraying the shake contents in every direction. In a freak shake explosion, the robber was thrown back into the wall, being crushed by the machine after it hurtled forward from the force. Not only was the robber crushed, but he was also covered in a thick, frigid liquid. Miraculously, not a single speck had landed on Takuya and Zoe, for Harry Potter was in the area and had accidentally made a mistake with his spell, therefore putting up a forcefield.]
Harry Potter: *fighting Voldemort next store* Expelioamus!
Voldemort: Haha! Foolish wizard! You mispronounced it and were not able to disarm me of my wand!
Harry Potter: Huh...wonder what resulted from the mispronunciation.....
[Back at Burger Joint]
Takuya: Well, that worked out nicely. ^_^
Zoe: I'll say. :3
Conclusion
So there you have it. A few of the many annoying things you may deal with while at your job. Remember these things the next time you have a shitty day at work. You will probably have asshole bosses, lazy co-workers, douchebag customers, disgusting jobs, random health inspections, armed robberies, and maybe even lust between you and your fellow co-workers. Just deal with everything with an evil smirk, a heavy object, and a good burial spot, and you should be good to go. Keep in mind; The customer is NOT always right. In fact, they are wrong about 99% of the time. So let's say goodbye to everyone who made this incredibly stupid one-shot parody possible! Kouji!
Kouji: This razor isn't sharp enough.... I must find a way to sharpen it......
Hana!
Hana: Tonight I'm going to worship Satan.... And them I'm going to sit in the dark for three hours muttering gloomy words to myself...
Kouichi!
Kouichi: No one will ever find them....but they will have more 'friends' joining them soon enough.... *smiles crazily*
Saika!
Saika: Like hell I want to wear that shirt, betch! Yeah, I said 'Betch'! LOL, I didn't even think that it was a real word, just a mispronouncement!
Um, it's 'mispronounciation', Saika. But anyway, let me continue. Toshi!
Toshi: *looking around* ...Where's my hookah? It was here just a second ago.....
Denny!
Denjiro: I want this cleaned, now! And I want it done before you start! AND FOR THE LAST TIME, DON'T CALL ME DENNY!
Akito!
Akito: *watching as a girl walks by* O_O Holy cow! The opposite gender! *gets a nosebleed and passes out*
Seiji!
Seiji: *is in the breakroom smoking out of Toshi's hookah* Yeah...that's the stuff.....
And last but not least, our favorite couple, Takumi! *waits for a response* I said, last but not least, Takumi!
[Takuya and Zoe are no where to be seen.]
Where the hell are they?!
[Inside the walk-in fridge, Takuya and Zoe are currently making out. So far, they managed to topple over several boxes, creating a huge mess.]
Takuya: It's so nice to be away from everyone...
Zoe: You said it....
Takuya: And...why don't you put this on? *holds up slutty maid costume from earlier*
Zoe: You know what? I think I will.....later....
[The two of them continue their make-out session while a confused girl wanders around aimlessly screaming 'Takumi!']
The End
Well, there was my newest parody ^_^ Hope you enjoyed it, so please review and tell me what you think, okay? See ya later!