A/N - So, bit of delays between these chapters. But I am working on them =P Almost at the end here folks! Thanks for sticking with me through this. You guys are great!
Yes, it's fluff. There was just no getting around it. =P

"Shit, shit, shit!"

It was about the only coherent thing that Joker could sputter out. He had a bad feeling about the Reaper IFF the moment Shepard brought the damned thing on board. But it was a necessary evil that had to be installed in order to finish the mission. Joker just wished that the testing didn't have to coincide with a ground mission. Shepard left with the entire ground team and placed the ship under his command. She left them without any worry that anything could go wrong. But irony and Shepard seemed to go hand-in-hand as of late.

Joker had never felt so scared in his life. Even when the Normandy fell apart around him, he knew he what he was at least attempting to do. But now, he had to rely on an AI he barely trusted to get him through this. Releasing it would either be his salvation or damnation. The fact that he couldn't determine which terrified him. The crew knew of his intentions as he made his way to EDI's core. All he could do was watch them sacrifice themselves so that he could get by. He didn't want any of this. He didn't want to lose anyone, but there wasn't anything he could do to help them. His mind pleaded for Shepard to come back. Come back to save them all from the Collectors. Save them all from becoming test subjects like those they found on their ship. Save them from whatever fate would befall them.

But his miraculous save never came as he unleashed EDI's bindings and gave her control of the ship. Joker remained on the floor for a few moments as he tried to get his mind to focus again. Exhaustion and pain finally washed over him as he pulled himself off the floor. For a brief moment he was amazed that he was able to get up from his fall. Rewind a few years and such a fall would have likely put him out of commission for a while. That thought soon faded as he limped into the debriefing room. He didn't want to be near the helm at that moment because it meant walking past all those empty chairs. Empty because of him. Because he couldn't save them.

It didn't take the ground team long to get return to the ship. Shepard just stared at him as Joker sat on the conference table. Her features were passive, betraying nothing that was going through her mind at the moment. She was upset at what happened. Angry at herself for letting this happen. But most of all, she was worried about Joker. When he glanced up at her, he looked so exhausted, defeated, and broken. Shepard took a breath to say something but was cut off when Miranda stormed into the debriefing room.

"Everyone? You lost everyone and damn near lost the ship, too?" she snapped at Joker.

The pilot glared at her for a moment. He wanted to just snap back at her, but none of his usual sarcasm was there. He gave up trying and just sighed, "I know, all right? I was here!"

"It's not his fault, Miranda. None of us caught it," Jacob interjected in Joker's defense.

EDI chimed in for him as well. "Mr. Taylor is correct. The harmful data in the Collector drive was much more powerful than the 'black box' Reaper viruses I was given."

Jenna managed to catch Joker's gaze, a brief glimmer of worry flickered in her eyes. "I heard it was a rough ride. How are you holding up?"

Joker broke her gaze and stared at the wall. "There's a lot of empty chairs in here."

"We did everything we could, Jeff," EDI assured him.

"Yeah...thanks, mom," he forced out.

Shepard forced back her feelings for the moment and tried to asses the situation. "Is the ship clean? We can't risk this happening again."

"EDI and I purged the systems. The Reaper IFF is online. We can go through the Omega 4 Relay whenever you want."

Miranda shook her head and growled. She crossed her arms over her chest and did nothing but chastise Joker. "Don't even get me started about unshackling a damned AI."

"Well what can I do against Collectors? Break my arm at them?"

Shepard had about enough of this. Constantly berating the only one to make it out of the attack was getting them no where. She balled her fists tight and finally snapped at her second-in-command. "Zhe jiu gou le! What would you have done differently? Put yourself in his place, not as yourself but as Joker!" she growled, gesturing at him. "Every single person who was trained for combat or otherwise gone. Now you tell me, Miranda, what you would have done differently?" Lawson opened her mouth to say something, but quickly snapped it shut. There was nothing she could say that would have been any different.

"EDI's cleared the ship, she's alright," Joker interrupted in hopes to break the coming argument. He slid off the table and winced when his feet touched the floor. Crawling through ventilation ducts wasn't something he wanted to do ever again.

"I assure you, I am still bound my protocols in my programming. Even if I were not, you are my crewmates," EDI assured them.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "EDI's had plenty of opportunity to kill us. We need all the help we can get." She turned to Jacob. "How are the upgrades to the ship coming?"

"There are a few calibrations that need to be performed before we're at one hundred percent, but as far as any further upgrades go, we have all we need to go after the crew," he responded with a nod.

"Then it's time we take the fight to the Collector's," Miranda added.

"Good. Jacob, Miranda, I want you two to begin final preparations with the rest of the crew. Joker, head back up to the bridge and run one last diagnostic and make sure everything is in running order. Inform me when everything is ready." The three of them nodded in acknowledgement and left the debriefing room.

Joker idly tapped at the keys as he carried out the task given to him. But his mind wasn't on his work. Shepard already came to see him once, but quickly retreated when he snapped at her. He knew she meant well, but Joker was so frustrated by everything that it nearly pushed him to a breaking point. He rubbed his hands on his face in an attempt to ease away the weariness he felt. The sounds of someone coming into the cockpit forced a groan from his chest as he turned the chair.

"Jenna, if you're coming to apoli-" The pilot stopped short when he saw not the commander but their quarian engineer standing before him. Joker tilted his head to the side in slight confusion. "Tali?"

Tali wrung her hands together for a moment then gently placed them at her side. "I was hoping to find you here. I wanted to talk to you," she started. Joker forced out a sigh and looked off to the side.

Great, more pity. I don't need this. Not now. "Look, I'm fine. I don't need everyone coming up here to check on me," he snorted. The engineer shook her head, the glow of her eyes dimming as a sign of her closing them in response.

"I didn't come up here to check on you. I actually came up here to talk to you about Shepard." He stiffened slightly, almost expecting to be reprimanded for the way he snapped at her. But the harsh words never came, just the gentle voice from the young girl in front of him. "She came down to see me in engineering to make sure I was okay working alone. Of course I told her I was fine, but I could tell that she wasn't. When I asked her if she was okay, she said not to worry about it."

Joker scoffed as the corner of his mouth twitched. Of course she would say that. Always keeping up that image.

"I've been around her enough to know when something's wrong, even when she thinks she's hiding it. It's the subtle changes in her voice that not many seem to catch." Tali glanced off to the side for a moment and then back at the pilot. "It's the same with you."

Joker blinked and quickly shook his head. "Tali, what are you talking about?"

"You both are so alike, it's almost funny. But at the same time, it's kind of sad. Even though you both found each other, you're still unsure on what to do." Joker raised a questioning eyebrow at her. "Shepard has told me how crazy she is about you, but she's also voiced her frustrations about you to me. You hate being fussed over or even have someone worry about you. She's the same way, you know. You both hide that you're all right, wanting to deal with it alone. So neither of you tries to seek the comfort you want from each other." Joker started to say something, but Tali raised her hand to stop him. She took a step back down the ramp. "You're not alone anymore, Joker. You don't have to face this by yourself." Tali turned and left him alone in the cockpit with those words to mull over.

It wasn't long before his console alerted him to new coordinates being requested. When he glanced back, Joker saw Shepard leaving the galaxy map for the elevator, but not before stealing a glance towards the cockpit. Even from far away he could see the conflict in her face. She wanted to see him but she wanted to give him space at the same time. ...Don't have to face this alone...Joker forced out a sigh and stared past his console.

This is retarded. She knows I'll be fine and I'm sure she'll be okay, too. We've both been through a lot of shit and came out the better for it. He took of his hat and ran his hand through his hair. Keeping people an arm's length away worked well for him all his life. People didn't fuss over him and he liked it that way. But it also meant relationships were short or far and few between. Joker looked down at his legs with contempt. The frailty of everything from the waist down made him an outsider. But Shepard always found a way to look past made him feel normal even if he wasn't.

God dammit, Jeff. You are the galaxy's biggest moron ever. You need her just as much as she needs you right now. So get off your crippled ass and get up there! Joker groaned and pushed himself out of the chair. His inner monologue finally convinced him to get to the elevator. Yet, as he reached for the call button he stopped. "What the hell do I say?"

Shepard turned the model ship over in her hands several times before she sighed and placed it back in the display case. As she pushed the door closed she turned around to find Joker standing in front of her. The sudden sight of him being there made her jump backwards, grabbing her chest in an effort to calm her suddenly jolted heart. "Jesus, Joker! I didn't even here you come in!" she breathed. A thousand questions ran through Joker's mind but none of them seemed to make sense. He spent a few minutes before getting in the elevator to her quarters going over what he'd say, but now words failed him. "Jeff, what's wrong?" He looked up at her and saw the look in her eyes. There wasn't an ounce of pity in those deep green eyes as she looked at him. He bit his lip trying to force something to come to mind. Instead he just slid his hand behind her head and pulled her into a fierce kiss. Shepard mewed in response at the sudden movement but didn't protest. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him, holding him close.

Jenna felt her cheeks burn as matched Joker move for move against her. Thoughts of deep need started to churn knots in her stomach and she felt like nothing could break her of this. It wasn't until she reached up to caress his face that she pulled back. Her hand came back slick not with sweat from the heat of the moment, but from tears. Shepard stepped back slight to get a better look at Joker.

"Jeff, what-"

The look of desperation in his eyes cut her off. He was scared of what was going to happen in the next few hours. Scared of what happened not a few hours earlier. But more importantly, he was scared of what could happen, should this whole mission go wrong. Yet the only thing her could mutter out was, "Why me?"

Shepard quickly shook her head in confusion for a moment. "Why you?"

"Of all the people you've been around...why did you choose me?"

Jenna took in a deep breath and sighed. She interlaced their hands together before smiling gently. "Because you treated me like I wasn't really anything special." Joker's eyes narrowed in confusion. "People always treated me differently because I was a street kid. Like I was nothing more than an undisciplined trouble-maker. Then after Akuze everyone was so afraid to talk to me. Like at any moment I would fall apart into a tormented mess. But you..." She cupped his cheek in her hand. "You were such an asshole to me." Joker managed a laugh.

"So even though I was a complete jerk to you, you still fell in love with me? The whole cripple thing didn't turn you away at first?"

"Why would it?"

Not an answer Joker was expecting. Most people found his disability cute at first, but then annoying when they had to rearrange their plans around him. The confusion on his face brought about a chuckle from Shepard which in turn earned her a glare. "I was trapped behind leg braces and crutches and that didn't bother you one bit. Why?"

Shepard tilted her head to the side, trying to gauge her words carefully. She finally sighed and leaned back against her desk. "When I was a kid, I had a friend who took care of me as best he could when Rayna died. He had a disability himself, and I'm ashamed to admit it but I treated him differently. I was more careful when he was around even though he said I shouldn't. I just couldn't get over the fact that he couldn't do the things I could. Or at least I thought." Jenna crossed her arms lightly and chuckled at her memories. "I got into an argument with Danny one day and threw something at him out of blind rage. Luckily he dodged what ever it was I threw at him, but he retaliated by kicking my ass." Joker quirked a curious eyebrow at her. "Danny was blind."

Joker choked back a laugh at her expense. "You got your ass kicked by a blind guy?"

"Yep. Taught me a valuable lesson, too. Just because someone has a disability, it doesn't mean they can't beat the crap out of you." Jenna wrapped her arms around Joker and pulled him close, leaning her head against his chest. "Seriously, you never tried to be anything but yourself when I was around and that made me feel like I was normal. It was the reason why I liked you back on the old Normandy and eventually..."

"Commander," EDI cut in. "You asked me to inform you when we were 20 minutes from the Omega-4 Relay. I have already informed the crew."

Shepard groaned and nodded to the AI. "Thank you, EDI." She stepped back slightly, but kept her hands locked at the small of Joker's back. "I guess you should get back to your station. But before you go, I have something for you." She retreated back to her display case and lifted out the now finished model of the SSV Normandy. "I finished it just in time."

Joker was almost afraid to take it from her as she placed it in his hands. He ran his hands over every detail from the nose to the wings. As he turned it over, he noticed small lettering etched into the bottom. It was his initials carefully carved into the model. Joker looked up at her with a grin on his face. "It's beautiful," he breathed.

"Of course, she'll have to stay up here with the rest of my ships, but you can come up and see her when ever you want." Even though the words were innocent enough to anyone listening, Joker caught every bit of invitation hidden within it. She let him place the model back where it belonged before pulling him in a tight hug. "When this is all over, you and I are going to take a very long shore leave."

"Just say the word, ma'am and I'll take you where ever you wish." He gave her a mock salute before heading back to the elevator. Even with the impossible odds against them, Joker was determined to make sure they made it to that vacation awaiting the two of them.

Translations:

Zhe jiu gou le! - That's enough!