Lovely Desire

Full summary…

A year after Edward left Bella the Cullens go to Volterra for a party. At the first night there they see two little boys. One of the boys looks exactly like a little Edward but with a beating heart. The two boys are holding onto the dress of…Bella! No scratch that! VAMPIRE Bella. Everyone is shocked but the most shocked is Edward. Something is going on and the Cullens are going to find out. With the help of detective Emmett! Everyone who loved Doctor Emmett will LOVE Detective Emmett!

Chapter 1

[EPOV]

It's been a year since I left the love of my life. My life. My Bella. Now here I am a year later, mourning at my loss and beating my head against the wall for my stupidity. Ok maybe I'm not actually beating my head against the wall because it would put a dent in it but figuratively I am. It's like there's a hole in my chest which keeps slicing open again and again. My long-dead heart aches to be united with my soulmate because it doesn't know the truth. That my Bella is dead. That I killed her. It's my entire fault. If I hadn't left her she wouldn't have gone into severe depression and killed herself.

Why couldn't I understand when I was leaving her that I was ruining my life and hers? Why couldn't I understand I was going the wrong way about things? I understand I was making the biggest mistake of my life when I was leaving her?

Because I loved her and I couldn't bear to see her dead. I couldn't bear it if I was the reason of her death. What if one day I lost control and killed her? But it all came back to the same thing. The very thing I was avoiding happened. Bella died and it was my entire fault. If I hadn't left she wouldn't have jumped off the damn cliff. She wouldn't have risked her entire future because of depression and sadness. She loved me. She proved it. I loved her. I didn't prove it. I only made her believe I hated her. My Bella died thinking I hated her. And I lived with the guilt.

Edward. Come downstairs. We're having a family meeting. ~ Alice

I sighed and looked away from the sealing. I sat up on my bed as I was just lying down and got up. I walked slowly to the door and paused with my hand on the door knob.

Then shaking my head, I opened the door. I trudged down the stairs quietly. My family was already settled in the living room when I walked in. Everyone turned to look at me and I looked down at the floor. I kept my eyes on the floor. After I left Bella, I learned how to block out thoughts. I kept my eyes on the ground as I walked towards my rightful place, on Carlisle's left. On his right sat Esme. She smiled hesitantly at me but frowned seconds later when I looked away. I didn't mean to hurt her but I just couldn't stand happiness anymore.

Alice waved at me from her seat beside Emmett but I ignored her. I didn't like waving either. Jasper smiled or frowned (I don't know which) sympathetically at me from beside his wife. Emmett's eyes widened when he saw me and I flinched when I saw myself in his thoughts. I looked like mess. My hair was even more tangled from before and parts of my skin were missing. I clawed at myself when I was stuck in my room. Punishing myself for leaving Bella. There were dark circles under my eyes and my eyes were pitch black. I hadn't hunted in quite a while. I was torturing myself.

After I was seated everyone shut their mouths and turned to Carlisle.

"Ok! Everyone I recently got a call from Aro," he started.

"For what?" Emmett asked.

"He's hosting a Christmas party. Everyone is to arrive a few days before. Then we are to stay with him for a few weeks. Those few weeks will also include a new years party. Not to mention he's also holding a party before the Christmas party," Carlisle explained.

"Wow! So many parties," Esme exclaimed.

"Yay! Party time!" Emmett screamed. "Awesome!"

We all stared at him. This was something I missed when I was cooped up inside my room. I missed the laughter and jokes. All the childness the Emmett let out. All the Emmettness he let out.

I shook my head to clear the silly thoughts and ran back up to my room. Not to pack but to mourn.

I sat on my bed and stared at the forest outside. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," I called. My voice sounded hoarse. Like I hadn't spoken in days. I hadn't. I only spoke every few days.

The door opened but I didn't turn to see who it was. There were really soft and quiet footsteps as my guest walked towards me. Alice.

"Edward," she whispered. She sounded scared. I looked at her. Alice looked…different. She wasn't Alice anymore. Not the bouncy or happy Alice everyone knew. She wasn't my Alice. She was someone totally different. Then again I wasn't Edward anymore. I was a different Edward.

"Please," she pleaded. "Come. Don't skip out on this trip. It's family time. We haven't seen you in days. We miss you. This could be a great chance to have some family time."

"I'm not coming," I whispered back.

"Edward please. We miss. We all do. Esme especially. I don't know if you know but every few minutes she bursts into dry tears. She misses you. She loves you. Emmett doesn't smile anymore. Today was the first time we saw him smile in so many days. Please. Come."

I shook my head.

"Edward. I don't want to say this but can't you see your hurting everyone. So much. Esme especially. She loves you more than all of us. You're her first son and your pain has caused her so much pain. She would love to have you come. This could be your Christmas gift to her. Please. Make her happy. Think about Esme if not all of us," Alice reasoned.

"I'm hurting her like I hurt Bella," I mumbled and closed my eyes. Alice winced.

"Edward," Alice said firmly. "Fine! Don't do it for us then. Do it for Bella- wince- if you love her."

Then I snapped.

"LOVE HER? LOVE HER? OF COURSE I LOVE HER! HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK FOR A SECOND THAT I DON'T LOVE HER?" I yelled.

Alice didn't even bat an eye.

"Then come with us to Volterra. Bella would have wanted you to. She wouldn't have wanted you to kill yourself like this. If she was alive she would loathe you for hurting yourself. Bella loves you and she would want you to come,"

"Yeah! She would loathe me for leaving her. For killing her," I mumbled but I nodded. "Fine. I'll come but that doesn't mean I'll enjoy it."

Alice jumped up and down and clapped her hands. A smile lit up her face and made her face and the room glow.

"Thanks so much Edward!" she squealed. She kissed my cheek and jumped out of the room.

Just before she closed my door she yelled something that made me roll my eyes.

"By the way! Bella would have wanted you to enjoy too!"

I rolled my eyes again.

Dear Readers,

How did you like it? I would love your opinions and reviews! LOTS OF REVIEWS!!!! Sorry….I'm high on cake!!!!

This was just the intro and I'm not sure if I should continue. Please send me your answer with your review.

Love,

Shagun 3

A.K.A

Lovenyx125

P.S (Post scriptum) I just updated Angel of Pain.