Steve: Well, here we are for the first chapter of my newest fic: Things that the Golden Trio are no longer allowed to do.

Pen-pen: Wa war... wark warr ark wark war waar... (Oh god... this will NOT turn out well...)

Yui: Agreed.

Hinata: Ditto.

Steve: Yeah... well... Anyways, if you guys wouldn't mind doing the disclaimer?

Pen-pen: waaaaarrrkkkk war wark ark war Warrk Waarkk. Wark ark waark.

Hinata: Translation: uncutetomboy's bro does not own Harry Potter. Just the rules.

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Things that the Golden Trio are no longer allowed to do.

1. You are NOT allowed to charm Professor Snape's robes to play the Batman theme song every time he walks into a room.

2. You are not allowed to charm Mr. Malfoy's robes to transform into Robin's outfit everytime he hears the Batman theme.

3. Harry, claiming that Madame Pomfrey is trying to make you into her sex slave will not stop us from sending you to the Hospital wing.

4. You are never again allowed to give Professor McGonagall brownies with catnip in them.

5. No Ron, giving Professor McGonagall a collar after giving her catnip does not mean that she is your pet cat.

6. Even if she acts like it at the time.

7. You are not allowed to tell Alastor that the car outside might be a Transformer.

8. Nor are you allowed to tell him that you saw the MIB in the area.

9. What are Transformers and MIB anyways?

10. It is NOT good idea to give a cooped up Sirius caffeine pills and then leave the Order to deal with him.

11. Nor is it a good idea to give Dobby the same thing.

12. Harry, dressing up in a black cloak and then telling people that your Salazar's reincarnation before speaking in parseltongue is not a funny prank.

13. Bribing the Slytherins with muggle Playboys/Playgirls in order to turn the other way when you annoy Mr. Malfoy is not right.

14. Even if it works.

15. Especially if it works.

16. Hermione, stop telling Pansy that the Giant Squid is good with it's tentacles. We've had to fish her out of the lake three times this week.

17. You are no longer allowed to bring farm animals into Hogwarts.

18. Nor are you to be anywhere NEAR farm animals.

19. You are not allowed to build an army of House Elf ninjas.

20. Telling Arthur that licking batteries is a muggle past time was not appreciated.

21. Neither was giving him a car battery to see what would happen.

22. Sending porn to the Ministry is not funny. They barely do anything as it is.

23. Not even if it gets you into their good graces.

24. Ron, you are no longer allowed near explosive substances of any kind. I don't care if no one was using that toilet.

25. Harry, stop sending "anonymous" letters to Teen Witch/ Witch Weekly about Parseltongues and sex.

26. Harry, why did Tom send you a letter thanking you for a rumour?

27. You are to stop referring to the Prefects as "Keystone Kops" or as "Commissar".

28. You are to stop telling first years that there's a designated Stinging Hex target. Mr. Flint has been to the Hospital Wing eight times today alone.

29. Harry, why is Madame Promfrey telling me that she needs to see you for weekly checkups? Whatever the reason, stop it.

30. You are not authorized to give paid guided tours of Hogwarts.

31. Neither are you authorized to give paid guided tours of the Department of Mysteries. They've been getting very annoyed.

32. Stop claiming that Tom is a personal friend of Michel Jackson who shares the same interests in little boys. We got a Howler from him claiming that was too low and dirty even for him.

33. Stop getting Myrtle to help you write porn by spying on couples.

34. What is with you three and porn anyways?

35. You are not allowed to create a cult that has Hedwig as Athena's daughter.

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Yui: (Head in her hands while shaking it.) I CANNOT believe that you did that!

Pen-pen: Wark! Waar wark waarrkk war ark wark. Aark war Waarrk Waarrkk wark wa ar war!? (Yeah! Have some respect for the dead! What did Michel Jackson ever do to you!?)

Hinata: That wasn't what Yui-san meant Pen-pen. Though I'm frankly both disturbed and disgusted with the idea of Poppy-san making ANYONE a sex slave...

Steve: And you think that I don't? I certainly do!

Yui: I'm almost afraid as to what comes next...

Steve: You'll see...

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