Disclaimer: I do not hate this movie, or the original fairy tale, or Disney, or anything else. I just like making fun of stuff. I basically just got an assignment from my Creative Writing teacher: quickly rewrite the ending to a well-known movie. This is what I chose, but seriously, there's nothing wrong with the original.

Snow White opened her eyes and sat up. For a moment she smiled, then she looked confused. She looked the Prince up and down. "Who the heck are you?"

"What? Why, I am your prince, your hero!"

"I don't even know you!"

"But—but I just kissed you and brought you back to life!"

"You kissed me while I was asleep? Pervert!" Snow White screamed, scrambling backwards out of the coffin. "Rapist! Get away from me!"

"Now, Snow White—" one of the dwarfes began nervously.

"Shut up, Happy! I'm so sick of your optimistic crap!" She pointed a finger at the astonished prince. "And you, you perv, STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

And with that, Snow White spun on her heel and stormed off on her own, determined to find a life without crazy shorties and overly dramatic rapist princes.