Niemand Hindert Mich

Tokio Hotel one shot

I ran. Through the streets, people were a blur around me as I forced my feet to move faster, trying to out run the pain. Why would he lie to me? I had trusted him more than anybody… almost anybody. I ran up the stairs flight after flight my lungs and legs protesting mildly. Fencing and swimming had taught them endurance well… I sped to a stop at the top of the building carefully inching towards the edge. Looked into the abyss it was so beautiful so welcoming. I touched my neck. A black choker sat there. A basic black leather choker, Alex had one. Alex…

"I'm sorry, Alex," I whispered. I felt so bad for abandoning her like this but she would understand, she would make him pay, and then she would be up here and follow in my steps. "I never left you, I'm always there," I whispered as I took that final step over the edge. The world flew by I was free for a moment. Everything was perfect…

The police chief examined the roof. As he watched a phone buzzed. It must have fallen when the girl jumped. He picked it up on the screen read the words. Alex B-day reminder!

I walked down the street. I didn't look around me as I walked. I could hear it all around me the sounds of a city going on, the sounds of chaos. It was freezing rain sleet snow I wasn't sure I didn't care…

I looked at the homeless people around the street I walked. They huddled tight together for warmth. My heart would have broken if it could have. This is what humans do. With all of our amazing supremacy we kill each other, stave and torture each other, why the hell did God let us live.

Why did I still believe in God? I avoided that thought, I didn't want to muse into my own brain there was too much to hide from in there. I pulled off my hat, sweatshirt, sweatpants and shoes and tossed them at the people. I didn't need them, I barely felt the cold.

My socked feet made no sound on the side walk and my hair whipped behind me. I must have looked like some one from a movie as I walked the winter streets in a tank top and volleyball shorts both black the only color on me was my eyes there green light the only sign I was human and not some fallen angel.

Not that I would ever be perfect enough for that. I didn't know where I was going. All I knew was I wasn't going home. I was never going home, there was no home for me, that place could never be considered a home.

I barely noticed the people moving around me. They didn't care what happened to me, they didn't know me, no one did, not really. I tried not to think about all the friends I had had, the way even the closest of them turned away when I showed them the truth… All but one and she was dead now. Dead, because of him, dead, leaving me all alone… Anger built up in me at the man, our friend who had led her on then abandoned her.

I shifted quickly snapping my hand into the hard wall beside me I heard the snap of bones breaking and sharp pain flooded through me. I saw a few people look at me as I walked away my hand mangled and bloody. The pain was the only thing real in me. Emotions had dulled in an attempt to save myself from what I was about to do.

The pain had over ridden my system to the point where my body refused to register emotions very much; just enough to tell me when to smile when to laugh, when to be somber, but it wasn't real just a ghost of what once had been.

I barely realized what I was doing until I realized my body wasn't 'complaining' of the cold. I felt half alive as I walked up the flights of steps. I paused only when I heard the crackle of a TV. I listened to it through the wall. Another murder. I could hear people fighting. My heart twisted at the familiarity of it all.

I prayed to heaven there was no children in that house hold. I didn't want another child to be what I am…

I walked on not wanting to hear the sound of a child crying from a different room. The sound of angry voices rose again as I climbed. A teen ager and a mother this time. Why do teens think they deserve everything when they work for nothing?

I heard an angry male yelling at his wife I could hear him bitching about blacks and Asians. I felt sick how can you judge an entire race you don't even know anything about?

I was unspeakably grateful when I got passed residential levels and into the silence of offices. No one heard the soft padding of my feet on the stairs. It was perfectly silent as I reached the roof up above.

Silently I let the door drop behind me as I looked out and around. The sun was setting on the skyline and the precipitation was failing. It was beautiful up here. Silent, clean, empty…

I walked to the edge barely aware of what I was doing. I felt a smile ion my face. A real one… for the first time in years I truly smiled.

I knew it was all over then, nothing could compare with the freedom I felt as I looked down into the abyss.

The inky darkness spread from my feet. Small lights floated in it. I couldn't see details all I saw was the beauty of the darkness. Was this how She had felt when she stood here? When she forgot me and took that final step over the edge?

I couldn't blame her, it was so beautiful, so perfect, and nothing would stop me now…

I sat down on the edge I wanted to look for a while. I was in no hurry. I had no where to go, nothing to do, no one to stop me.

"Alex," the soft voice spoke behind me I leapt to my feet barely staying on the edge whirling. I hadn't heard that voice in months… It couldn't be she wasn't alive anymore. She jumped right here, on my birthday, for my birthday my friend died, for hers, I would.

"No…" I said staring into the space where her voice had come from.

"I'm here," I closed my eyes I could see her. My heart throbbed at the memory. I had never had a boyfriend, no lovers, only my friends and she had been the closest. I needed her more than I could ever explain.

"No, you're gone," no one else understood my darkest side and accepted it, no one else knew what I felt in every breath.

"Never," she said and I shook my head she was gone, I had lost her, there hadn't been a thing I could do about it. I opened my eyes and turned away stepping towards the edge.

"I'll be with you soon," I whispered looking down into the abyss below my feet. I could see blue and red lights so the police had come after all?

"Alex, please the world needs you, he needs you," her voice spoke behind me. I shook my head she never would have said that. She would have jumped with me. She knew he didn't care. He didn't even know I existed. I carefully pulled my iPod out and turned it on.

"No," I said evenly.

Fur Immer Jetzt played in my ears. A single tear fell as the words filled my soul.

"I'll jump for you!" her voice sounded panicked in my ears.

"It's to late for that," she had already jumped there was no going back.

"Alex-"

"Goodbye," I said tossing the iPod behind me and the head phone fell out blaring Bill's voice behind me as I stepped into the abyss.

I walked down the street only Tom was at my side here. We were here to visit family that was all, nothing official. We were quiet as we walked. I saw a girl on the street walked quietly a head of us. I stared at her she wore only a tank top and tight short black shorts. He hair whipped around her appearing to be black in the shadows in which she walked. Suddenly she twisted slamming her fist into a wall. I stared her hand was mangled and bleeding, she just kept walking. She vanished into a building as I watched. Tom was staring to.

"Didn't that hurt?" he asked, having broken his arm twice he had a fair idea what it might have felt like.

"How strong is she?" I said in response I hand punched at walls and never broken a thing. We were both in awe for a moment before we started walking again. I looked up at the sky as the light began to fade and I froze.

"Bill come on?"

"Tom, look," he followed my gaze we looked up to see that same girl standing up on top of the roof on the edge. Her features were indiscernible from here. I watched as she sat down then jumped up. the few minutes I watched her seemed to stretch into eternity. I saw Tom call the police I watched them appear and heard them speaking into the megaphones. It was as if she couldn't hear them. I watched as her feet left the edge and she dropped. I looked away burying my face in Tom's chest I heard the sickening crack/splat as she landed I felt Tom flinch. He hugged me. I couldn't look at the body I couldn't think that someone's friend, sister, daughter, was now lying in pieces in front of me…

"This is the second one here this year…" I heard a police man speak as Tom dragged me away. I hadn't even realized I was crying until that moment…

Authoress Note:

Well it's done

It's sad

Spring Nicht Song Fic